She used to love the snow.
The way it landed on her hair, on the tip of her nose. The way it brought people together while time stood still. The way people put on colorful lamps, not because they needed to, but because they knew everything would look prettier. The fact that many people would stuck at home, couldn't do their normal activities, and families would finally talk. Not to forget, the delicious hot coffee that would become even more delicious.
But then her mother's case happened while snow still fell from the sky, and after that, there were years when she couldn't stand it – The snow. Christmas.
For years after, snow was just frozen water, and everything about it annoyed the hell out of her. The way it covered her windows and blocked her view, the misdirected snowballs kids threw at her, how cold it made her, how boring it was to her eyes – white, white, and white.
And then, and then he became her boyfriend, became her fiancé, and then officially became her husband. He helped her to love it again – one different unique activity involving snow every week of winter. He had helped her to change her bad memories of snow to the good ones, until one day, he believed it was enough, and for her, the snow became beautiful again.
But have you ever believed – have you ever believed that life could change in a matter of the speed of snow knocking to your door and then making its way to the ground from rejection? Because he didn't, and that was where he'd gone wrong.
That Christmas morning, he woke her up in the morning, excitedly helping the figure of his sleepy wife to sit. He took the jar of their not-yet-finished unique activities, each activity was written in a piece of folded paper. He put his hand on half of her face, trying his best to not let her see the paper while she picked one. After she finished, he dropped his hand. He encouraged her to open the folded paper, while he took one of her coats for her to wear.
"CS? What is that supposed to mean?" She asked, showing the paper to him.
"Ah. You're gonna love this one!" She followed him when he went to his kitchen, watching him opening the freezer and took what looked like two black papers. He then took her outside. She wondered what it was for.
"I'm kinda tired of catching killers, so let's catch snowflakes!" He said with a squeal, and then they started. She held the black carton with two hands, eyes straight to the sky. She smiled so bright, so bright that it made him smile too. Her smile was something that Castle couldn't miss watching. He'd never be bored of it – her smiles, her laughs, and every blush that crept up her face from his words.
"Staring at me is still creepy, Castle," she complained, eyes still on the sky.
He laughed at her, and then circled his arms to her waist, pressing a kiss on the top of her head. His lips stayed there for a while. "Even when we're married?"
He couldn't see her face clearly with his body behind hers, but he imagined she smiled at his words. She always did when he acknowledged their marital status. "Even when we're married."
She finished five minutes later. He took her to the nearest bench, gave her a magnifying-glass and that was when she finally saw the beauty in it. Every snow-crystal was different, in shapes and in sizes. They were too beautiful for words, and it left her staring at it for a minute, amazed with the thing that reminded her why she loved God's creature so much. The differences, the characteristics of every single thing ever existed.
He kissed the tip of her cold red nose. "See, Kate? That's why I stare at you a lot. You're beautiful."
She returned the compliment with a shy smile. "You're not so bad yourself, you know."
They were getting colder, and when he saw her shivered, he took the both of them outside. She insisted to stay outside and catch more snowflakes, but she was gone from shivering to visibly shaking, and it scared him, so he forced her to go inside.
He helped her to sit on the couch, draped a few blankets around her, and then gone for a while to make hot coffees for both of them. She accepted the cup gratefully, feeling the warm liquid making its effect to her temperature.
"I'm sorry, Kate. I thought your coat was enough." He knelt in front of her, kissed her lips, and then sat beside her. She settled her head on his shoulder. "It should've been enough."
He nodded, wrapping her cold figure with his arms. "Kate, I actually want to say this after Christmas, but I don't want to hide anything from you, so…I have a bad news. But I will find a way to fix it, so don't worry." He explained slowly and carefully, as if she'd get really mad at him for it.
She frowned at his words. "That's weird."
He then shifted from his seat, his eyes finding their way to her eyes. "What's weird?"
"I also have a bad news, but I don't know if I can fix it. I don't know if anyone can fix it." She dropped her gaze to the floor, but then decided to be strong for both of them. "What's your bad news, Rick? I'll only start after you." She took his hand on hers, reassuring both of them.
"I'm no longer permitted to work for the NYPD," he stated sadly. A hint of disappointment was shown in his face as he said it, the way he looked last night, the night she accused him something was wrong. And if this was the only thing that bothered him, she couldn't imagine how he would react when she finally told him what was bothering her. "That's it. But I promise you, Kate, I'll be back in no time. You'll have your partner back."
She smiled in response. "I'm sure I will."
"And what about you? What was bothering you?" He needed to know, because she looked so sad, one-hundred-and-eighty-degrees from how happy she was outside earlier.
He watched her face as she closed her eyes, didn't have the gut to look at him. "Rick, I…I have cancer."