Disclaimer: OUAT and all its characters belong to Adam Horowitz, Eddy Kitsis and ABC.
A/N: I know, I know...I should be updating my other stories. And I will. I'm working on it.
Life has been a bit crazy as usual, I moved, went on vacation etc. and that didn't leave much time for writing.
I always wanted to participate in the SQ week madness, so here I am. And yes, I'm aware I'm behind, but I'll try to catch up by tonight.
It's going to be 8 one shots that will link together and hopefully come full circle in the end.
Anyway...
I want to dedicate this little something to my lovely friend Ana - I just love our conversations. Especially the crazy ones ;)
Have fun, everyone!
Much love,
R.
1) Confessions
How do you tell your best friend of almost thirty years that you are in love with her? That you have been in love with her for the better part of your life.
Regina Mills had been asking herself that question many times. More times she cared to remember in fact.
And now it was too late.
Emma was getting married.
She had tried to work up the courage for years, but she had chickened out at the last moment time and time again.
The main reason being that alone the thought of losing Emma was too much to bare.
She didn't have too many friends in the first place, but she didn't care. She didn't need anyone, but Emma.
She would always need Emma.
A few times she had gotten close to telling her. The closest she had been to do it had been about two years ago during their New Year's eve party.
She had consumed a lot of liquid courage beforehand and right when she had wanted to tell Emma Robin had walked over to them and had crossed her plans by asking her out right in front of her best friend.
When Emma had left them alone with a smile on her face Regina had taken it as a sign that it simply wasn't meant to be.
And not long after that Emma had met Killian and now they were getting married.
Tomorrow.
Emma was getting married tomorrow.
Regina had been tempted to confess once more at Emma's bachelorette party two weeks ago when the blonde had asked her if she was doing the right thing, but Regina had lost her nerve when she had caught sight of the hopeful look in Emma's eyes.
Killian might not be her cup of tea, but he treated Emma well and he also loved Henry, so there really wasn't much Regina could have done, right?
Henry deserved a family and a father figure, especially after everything Emma had been through because of Neal.
Emma was happy and at the end of the day that was all Regina had ever wanted for her best friend. If only Emma wouldn't be the woman she loved at the same time.
Being the maid of honor made everything even more complicated, but Regina had promised herself that she would give Emma the wedding she deserved.
And she wouldn't do anything to ruin it.
She wouldn't speak up at the last possible second to stop Emma from getting her happy ending.
Regina knew that she had her chances and she had let them go to waste. She wouldn't cause a scene tomorrow.
She would keep her emotions in check, smile and be happy for Emma.
If only it wouldn't hurt so much.
A knock on the door pulled Regina out of her thoughts.
Emma was here.
The blonde and her future husband had agreed to spend the night before the wedding apart, all traditional, and Emma had simply declared she would stay with Regina while Henry would stay with Mary Margaret and David, a couple Emma had become friends with a few years ago.
Killian, as far as Regina knew, would stay with his best man Robin.
Oh, the irony.
They had went on one date which had gone all kinds of wrong. She didn't even know why she had agreed to that date in the first place, but it was in the past now.
He was happily married to Marian and enjoyed his family life with his wife and son.
She straightened her posture and opened the door, a smile immediately appearing on her face at the sight of Emma.
Her beautiful Emma.
The blonde smiled as well and hugged her tight, "Hey Gina...I need a drink."
That sentence set all of her alarms off instantly, "What's wrong, Em?"
"I need that drink first", was all the blonde said when she entered the house, only to let herself fall onto the couch in the study.
Regina walked over to the liquor cabinet and poured each of them a glass of her famous apple cider.
Emma patted the space next to her so she went and sat down where her best friend wanted her, her heart racing in her chest. She took a sip of cider to calm her nerves and apparently so did Emma.
"Care to tell me what's going on?"
Emma sighed heavily, "Last night of freedom. It's just nerves I guess."
The blonde shrugged a little helplessly and Regina wished she could just tell her now.
But how selfish and evil would that be?
No.
She couldn't do that. Not to Emma.
To anyone else maybe.
But never to Emma.
And so she kept quiet and drank.
It was about an hour and a couple of glasses of cider later that Regina and Emma were lounging on the couch more comfortably, staring at the flames in the fire place in Regina's study, sharing memories.
Memories of their childhood, their time in high school, their time in college. How Emma had ended up being the sheriff of small and sleepy Storybrooke and how Regina had happened to become the mayor of said town only a couple of months later.
And how neither of them minded although they once had bigger dreams for their lives, but that they had come to love their life in Maine, simply because they were in the same place together.
It was Emma who turned her head all of a sudden, looking straight into Regina's eyes, "Nothing is going to change between us, right? I'm just getting married, but we'll still be best friends...right?"
Regina didn't know what to say. She wished she could tell Emma that nothing would change, but she was aware that it was a naive view on life, "I don't know, Em. We'll always be friends...of course. But you'll be busier with family life once Killian officially moves in. And... that's okay."
She couldn't hide the sadness in her voice, no matter how hard she had tried.
"No, it's not. We are thick as thieves, Gina. We've been since we first met all those years ago at that playground in good, old Boston. Ever since I fell off the swings and you stood there, all high and mighty, telling me it was my own fault for climbing around like a little monkey."
Regina smiled at the memory, "I was right though. And I helped you to get up."
"I was only four. All four year olds are doing reckless things", Emma defended herself and her actions.
"I didn't", Regina fired back.
"And we all know why...'cause your tyrant of a mother wouldn't allow you to have fun. At all."
"She allowed us to be friends."
Emma chuckled, "Because it made her look better...to be nice to a charity case like me. People loved her for it. For showing kindness towards an orphan no one wanted. Of course it was all for show only."
Regina took Emma's hand and squeezed it, "I don't care why she did it. Her kindness might have been fake, but it gave me my best friend. And I always wanted you."
They both sat in silence for a while and Regina felt the alcohol and exhaustion slowly wearing her down. She would have to go to bed soon. They would have to anyway.
Clearly Emma wouldn't want to oversleep and miss her own wedding.
"Do you sometimes wonder what would have been...?" the blonde asked completely out of the blue and threw Regina for a loop.
"What do you mean?" Regina couldn't stop the question from leaving her lips although she wasn't sure if she was ready for the answer.
Emma emptied her glass and took a deep breath, "I always wondered what would have been if we would have been...you know...together. As a couple."
The blonde leaned her head back into the couch cushions, "God, I was so in love with you."
Regina didn't know what to say. Or do for that matter.
She felt the tears welling up in her eyes and a pain spreading in her chest she had never thought possible.
There would have been a chance for them after all and she had blown it, simply because she was a coward. Always had been a coward. Because she had never been able to be honest with Emma.
"Regina? Why are you crying?"
She hadn't even realized the tears that were running down her face, but she was aware of Emma's hand on her jaw and when she finally looked at the blonde she saw nothing, but sincerity and worry in those sparkling green eyes.
She would keep quiet. She had to.
But she couldn't.
"I'm wondering about it every day...'cause I've been in love with you too."
Emma's eyes went wide in realization, "Why didn't you say anything?"
"I tried, but I never found the courage. And I was so scared of losing you and I can never lose you", Regina confessed after all this heartache she had endured, "Why didn't you?"
Emma chuckled bitterly, "Because I thought I'd never stand a chance. You could have literally had anyone you wanted. And you usually went after the things you wanted to begin with. And got them too. Plus I thought you were straight for heaven's sake! You never...gosh, Regina...all those years...we could have..."
Regina put her index finger over Emma's lips to silence her, "Don't. Don't open that can of worms now. You're getting married tomorrow and I..."
"You what?"
"Let it go, Emma. I beg you."
But the blonde didn't waver, "You what?"
"You're getting married tomorrow. We should go to sleep."
Regina tried to look away, but that only made matters worse.
Emma eyed her closely and it finally dawned on her, "Oh my God! You're still in love with me, aren't you?!"
Regina dropped her head and closed her eyes at last, "I'm sorry."
She struggled to get up, but Emma grabbed her wrist and pulled her back onto the couch.
Alcohol clearly didn't mix well with confusion and heartache. It certainly slowed her down quite a bit 'cause before Regina didn't even realize what was happening she felt Emma's lips on her own and her heart threatening to beat out of her chest.
It only took a moment before Emma pulled back and jumped up as if she had gotten burned, mumbling "Oh my god, oh my god" repeatedly before she stopped for a second to look at an even more confused Regina, "I'm so sorry."
Then she stormed out of the mansion, fled like a wild horse and left Regina behind without another word.
She also left Regina more heartbroken than ever.