She stood at the side-lines of the ballroom, watching as the newlywed couple shared their first dance together. Usually, she was the belle of the ball at every party, but not today. She wasn't going to steal the spotlight from her little sister.
As she stood there, she nursed a glass of champagne while staring at her new brother-in-law. Could it be only a month ago when she met him? To her, it felt like forever; mostly because she couldn't imagine her life without Alexander. But, no. She had lost him to her Eliza, and though it pained her, she wasn't going to whisk him away for herself.
'No,' she thought. 'He was never mine to lose.'
The joy radiating from Eliza was enough to make her sacrifice worth it. She's not satisfied; and no, she will never be, because she knew that he could've been hers. But, even as little children, she had wanted to make Eliza and Peggy happy at all times, even if it meant sacrificing hers. Peggy was so sweet and so innocent, and being the youngest of them three, Angelica wanted her to enjoy the happy moments of her youth without worrying about anything. Eliza, on the other hand, was similar to Peggy in many ways, but she was much more gentle, trusting and compassionate. The three sisters all had sparks of spunk and sass, but Eliza also had this talent of moulding and controlling silence. Angelica was witty, Peggy was clever with words, and Eliza was the silence that could make everyone else listen to the three Schuylers.
She was so lost in her thoughts that she didn't notice Peggy approaching her.
"Hey," the youngest sister said.
"Oh, hi, Peggy. I'm sorry, but I didn't quite catch what you said," Angelica replied absently, still staring at a certain man with a faraway look in her eyes.
"I didn't say anything," Peggy replied. Following her sister's gaze, she quickly spotted what occupied her sister's attention. With a sigh, she took the champagne glass from Angelica's hands, and waved her palm in front of her face.
"Earth to Angelica," she said.
Angelica seemed to snap out of her trance, and she looked at her youngest sister in confusion. "What?"
"I know," Peggy said, looking at her directly in the eyes.
"You know what?" Angelica asked, confused at the random statement.
"I know how you feel about Alex," Peggy clarified.
Angelica turned an impressive shade of red, and in an attempt to steer the conversation away from her, she said, "So, it's 'Alex', huh? Not Alexander, not Mr. Hamilton, or the other formal names you used to call him?"
"We've gotten close," Peggy said with a shrug.
Angelica sighed and looked at her feet. "Is it that obvious?"
"No. You're a really good actress, you know. But, I just happen to be great at reading people's feelings," she replied with a smile. After a short pause, she asked, "Why?"
"'Why' what?"
Peggy said, "I mean, I saw you two at the winter ball. You met him even before Eliza did, and you did seem quite taken with him. Why did you introduce him to Eliza, then?"
Angelica sighed, "It's true that I met him before Lizzie did, but when I turned around, I saw the helpless look in her eyes, and I knew that they were destined to be together. Eliza is so kind and trusting, and she deserves to be happy." She looked at the dancing couple with a sad smile. "Besides, I'm sure that if Eliza knew, and if the roles were reversed, she'd do the same for me."
Peggy could only stare at her. After a few moments, they both continued to stare at the married couple. Truly, Eliza deserved happiness, Peggy thought. But, should Angelica's be the cost? Will her older sister find someone for her?
Before they knew it, the reception party had ended, and Alexander and Eliza went around the room, thanking the guests for attending a very special day in their lives. Everyone in the room congratulated the two of them, and many remarked how they were just meant for each other. With every word about the married couple's relationship, Angelica felt her heart being pierced with imaginary daggers. But, Eliza, her sweet sister, was happy, so even if it meant bleeding to death, Angelica would gladly take more knives to her heart.
After everyone had left, the Schuyler family minus Eliza, approached the two. Philip Schuyler, the three girls' loving and gentle father, asked to whisk Alexander away for a small man—to—man chat.
"Papa…" Eliza started, giving her father a small frown.
"Relax, dear. I just need to have a word with my new son—in—law. I'll be good," the old war hero said with a chuckle. With that, the two men disappeared, leaving the three girls to their own devices.
When they were sure that the two men were out of sight and out of hearing distance, Eliza launched into questioning mode.
"What do you think Papa is going to say to Alexander? What if he suddenly changes his mind in blessing our union? What if we have to file a divorce? What if Alexander doesn't love me anymore? I did okay at the wedding, didn't I? What if—"
"Woah, slow down there," Angelica said, rubbing Eliza's shoulders. "That's just your anxiety acting up. I'm sure everything will be fine."
"You really think so?" Eliza asked her older sister. When Angelica gave a small nod of encouragement, she started to breathe easier. She was glad her older sister was there for her. She trusted Angelica with all her heart, and she really looked up to her.
"Congratulations, Lizzie!" Peggy squealed, then she tackled Eliza with a big hug. Eliza stumbled a little, but she managed to support their weight. Oh, how she loved sweet, young Peggy.
"Thanks, Margarita," she teased. Peggy abruptly pulled away, giving her an annoyed frown.
"I told you to not call me that!" she huffed indignantly, but added with a smirk, "Unless you're going to order me a shot!"
"Uh, no can do, little sis. You're underage," Eliza chirped.
"But, I'm already 19!"
"Still underage. And besides, I don't think margarita comes in shots." She glanced at Angelica, who was giving them an amused smirk. "Does it, Angie?"
"I'm not sure, Liz. I'm more of a champagne person," she replied, raising a glass at her.
For a while, the three of them stayed silent, looking at each other. Eliza was going to live with Alexander now, and it wouldn't be the same in the Schuyler household. Still, Angelica and Peggy were happy for Eliza, seeing as how she practically glowed when in the presence of her new husband.
Soon, their father returned, with Alexander tailing behind him respectfully. After a few more words between the members of the family, the newlywed couple gave their goodbyes to retire for the evening. The remaining Schuylers took a carriage home, not speaking to each other as the events of the day caught up with them, making them feel tired.
When they arrived at the estate, Philip Schuyler excused Peggy to retire to her room, but asked Angelica to stay behind.
"Angie," he started. The twenty-four-year-old arched an eyebrow at her father. It's been so long since he last called her by her nickname.
"Angie, as happy as I am that Eliza married a respectable man she loves, I can't help but worry for their financial situation. Granted, Alexander Hamilton is General Washington's aides-de-camp, but that doesn't guarantee a stable income for them."
Angelica nodded, her eyebrows scrunching in concern. What was her father trying to say?
"I trust Eliza will be in good hands, but we will always be ready in case they need help, won't we?" her father asked.
"Yes, father," she replied earnestly, swearing to herself that she won't let the Hamiltons have any problems with money; not as long as she can help it.
She was shocked when her father stepped forward to embrace her in his strong arms. She was an inch or so shorter than him, and she can't help but feel like a little girl again in her Daddy's arms.
If this act of affection had shocked her, well, her father crying on her shoulders was something that really, really surprised her.
"Papa?" she asked.
Her father pulled away, and he gave her a watery smile. He ran his hands along her cheek fondly, and he said, "My little girls have grown up. You look so beautiful, Angie. You have your mother's eyes."
Angelica smiled, and she felt her eyes beginning to water also.
Her father wasn't quite done yet with his reminiscing, though. "And Eliza," he said, a faraway look in his eyes, "is a carbon copy of your mother. I used to tease your mother, you know, that if Eliza hadn't inherited my eyes, I would've thought that she had a different father."
Father and daughter laughed together. Angelica did remember her mother and father teasing each other about which child looked like who. Peggy and Angelica took after their father, while Eliza took after their mother.
"Angelica, my dear," her father said. "As happy as I am that I have been more than able to provide for you and your sisters' needs, I feel guilty that you have to be burdened by the rules that come with being born in the upper class."
She nodded.
"Do you remember John Church?"
Angelica racked her brain for a man named John Church. The name sounded familiar, and she was sure she met the man in one of the many balls she had attended.
"Yes, Papa. I met him in the summer ball at Summercrest Hill two years ago."
Philip Schuyler nodded his head approvingly. "Yes. You see, Angelica, John Church is a fine and respectable gentleman. He has expressed his wishes to court you when I met him two weeks ago in a business meeting. Would you be up for it?"
Angelica could see that her father wanted her to say yes. Her father cared for her, she was certain of that. But, she knew that if she said no, her father would grow agitated at having to find her a suitable husband before she got too old to marry. So swallowing a lump forming in her throat, she said, "Yes."
So, she met with John Church in the process of proper courting. Two months later, they married. Angelica didn't fool herself into believing that the illusion of love would play a part in her new life, seeing as the marriage was rather…arranged.
She wasn't saying, however, that John Church was unpleasant. Actually, quite the opposite. He was a tall and appealing gentleman, and he had perfect manners to die for. She also found that in the brief time she got to know him before their wedding, they had formed some sort of friendship.
So, as she stood on the bow of the ship they were on, staring at the now visible shoreline of England, she somehow felt that she'll be contented with her new life. She glanced at her husband, who was standing next to her with a hand on the small of her back, and she gave him a small smile.
John took her gloved hand and bowed to kiss it. "Ready?"
"Yes. Yes, I am," she replied.
Maybe…she will be satisfied.