For Crazycat9449 and for Tm02/Tm200 because they helped me so much. Love you guys.
It's not exactly a song fic, but I had 'River' by Joni Mitchell stuck in my head, and then I was listening to 'keep on loving you' by REO speedwagon and 'Porcelain' by Moby while I was writing... and this is what came from that, so enjoy.

Everyone was in the living room at the B&B helping decorate the tree, even Artie was helping while he waited for his cookies to bake. Everyone, except Helena, and Myka knew that that was her fault.
Myka herself was rugged up to the nines, sitting on the back porch trying to read. She couldn't concentrate though, she had read and re-read the same passage at least eight times and it wasn't going in. She couldn't focus. She was so, so angry with herself. She felt terrible. No, she felt worse than terrible. She had somehow managed to do the one thing that she had explicitly promised to never do.

She had hurt Helena.

She had regretted the words as soon as they had left her mouth. She had seen Helena's face fall, the fire in her eyes extinguish and the twist in her bottom lip as she willed herself not to cry. Myka hadn't even meant it the way that Helena took it, but a part of knew that Helena was going to take it that way and she still said it.

They had been arguing about telling the others about them. Myka didn't want to fight anymore, she wanted some alone time to think about it and make her decision without Helena's input, just for a little while. So when Helena had asked her, 'Do you not want me here Myka?' Myka had replied, "No." Myka had actually meant 'No, I don't want you in the room right now'. But Helena, being Helena had taken it as 'No, I don't want you at all. Please leave." And that is what she had done.

Helena had walked out of their bedroom, out of the B&B, gotten into her car and driven away. She had left her cell phone on the kitchen table, and hadn't taken her Farnsworth. Myka felt a little swell of relief when they discovered that she had taken her Tesla with her, 'well, at least she'll be protected' Myka thought. It wasn't until later on that evening that Myka started to worry, Helena had been gone for almost seven hours. She hadn't made contact with anyone, and they couldn't contact her. Claudia probably could find her car if Myka asked, but Claudia was so excited about the decorations, she didn't want to ruin her fun. In the background, Myka could hear Joni Mitchell's voice floating through the air. She made out the line 'I made my baby cry,' and nearly lost herself to the tears that had been threatening her eyes all afternoon. She had made Helena cry. She had made Helena leave. She had - Myka was brought out of her reverie by Claudia's voice,

"Hey Myka, you okay?" Myka looked up at her, shrugged and nodded

"Do you want me to find the car?" Claudia asked, and Myka was unsurprised that Claudia seemed to know exactly what Myka wanted. She was really very perceptive; there was a reason that she would someday be the caretaker.

"Can you?" Claudia raised her eyebrows and forced the laugh back down her throat, "Fine. Will you?" Myka asked getting up

Claudia was already on her laptop by the time Myka got in the house. Myka sat in the chair beside her just as Claudia threw her arms up in the air,

"Found it! She's...she's at the motel, on the main road." Claudia's voice got smaller as she realised that HG hadn't been planning on coming back. She looked at Myka who had somehow curled her shoulders in on herself, trying to make herself as small as she felt. Claudia caught her eyes, and she closed them. Claudia pushed a small piece of paper into her hand and whispered, "Call her." before she left the room.

Myka pulled her phone from her pocket. She dialled the number on the paper in her hand and waited for someone to answer. When they finally did, she had to cough to make her voice audible,

"Hi, uh, I'm just wondering if someone's checked in, are you able to tell me that?" Myka asked getting up out of the chair.

"Gonna need a name." Said the man on the other end

"Oh. Right." Myka said, "It's...Emily Lake?" Myka knew that Helena wouldn't use her real name, and she had since the incident, been using that as her alias. Myka hated it, Helena seemed to think it was funny, since technically, for a while at least, she had actually been Emily.

"Yeah, she's here. She's asked for no phone calls though." The man said gruffly.

Myka sighed. Of course she had. Shutting herself off from them. From her.

"Can I leave a message?" The man made an agreeable noise, so she continued "Can you just let her know that Myka called, and that I'll have my phone with me if she wants to call me?"

"No problem, Myka."

"Thanks. Bye." Myka hung up and slumped back down into the chair.

She had really, really screwed up.