Disclaimer: Inuyasha isn't mine. Also, I'm sorry, this is kind of my way of preparing myself in case something like this happens in my family, I apologize for any inaccuracies. As much as I'd love for Inuyasha and Kagome's future to be sunshine and rainbows, it is Feudal Japan.
Everything had seemed to be going her way. After three lonely years in her world, going through the motions of high school and somehow just knowing that college wasn't going to happen, she'd made her final trip through the well and been reunited with the love of her life. The night she'd returned, Inuyasha had shown her exactly how much he'd missed her. She remembered thinking it had to be a dream. She'd been back for six months. She spent her days with Kaede, training to be the new village priestess and her nights in the arms of her husband. They still bickered like it was their job, but that was normal for the two of them.
Soon to be three of them.
Kagome rubbed her belly. Inuyasha had figured it out before she did. She'd been fast asleep until she'd been awoken by the feeling of Inuyasha's nose against her abdomen. She had to admire his sense of smell, surely the pup couldn't have been larger than a lentil. They'd almost broken the door down to Sango and Miroku's hut to announce that they were expecting. At Kagome's request, they had only told their close friends, but word travels fast in a small village where gossip is sometimes the only fun to be had. She wasn't entirely sure, but she thought she must be approximately two months along.
She smiled at the two girls that zig-zagged in front of her, fascinated by everything. Sango shook her head, but her smile was affectionate. At four years old, Hikari and Aiko were bundles of energy, constantly on the move. Satoshi, at six months wasn't any easier to handle. He was an adorable, but demanding baby. Kagome absent-mindedly kneaded her lower back.
"Is your back hurting?" Sango asked, "You keep rubbing it."
"Oh, yeah, I must have pulled it some…" the sentence died in her throat and she was suddenly overwhelmed by pain. She cried out and dropped to her knees, arms pressed against her stomach. It was like her menstrual cramps, but fifty times worse. Everything was echoing, like she was underwater. She vaguely heard Sango cry for help and tell the girls to go find Inuyasha-now! Her vision swam and she swayed. Limp and blinded by pain, she allowed Sango and some helpful villager she didn't recognize to take her back to her hut.
Kagome had no idea how much time passed, some moments went by so quickly that they blended together, and others made seconds seem like hours. She faded in and out of consciousness. There were two blobs that were trying frantically to stop her bleeding, telling her to hang on and be strong. A figure leaned over her, clutching her hand and screaming her name.
Everything went dark.
She awoke slowly, she felt like she'd been run over by a truck. She was naked, wrapped in Inuyasha's red haori.
"Inuyasha," she whispered through dry lips. Instantly, she was gently coaxed into a semi-upright position and offered a ladle of water. The water helped, she didn't feel quite so awful anymore.
"How do you feel Kagome? Are you ok?"
Inuyasha's voice was ragged. It could have been her imagination, but Kagome thought his eyes were rimmed with red.
"I think so." She answered, trying to sit up higher. She quickly realized that wasn't going to work and allowed Inuyasha to cradle her body against his. "What happened to me?"
He didn't answer. The arms around her tightened and began to tremble. Her stomach twisted.
"The baby…?" Inuyasha bowed his head, eyes squeezed shut. She felt faint. She tried desperately to find her voice, to quell the tears welling up in her stinging eyes.
"Pregnancies fail sometimes, even in my time. There's nothing anyone could have done, it's no one's fault." The tears spilled down her cheeks. She stopped fighting it. She clung to him and sobbed.
She wept until she had no tears left to cry. Her body ached and her head pounded.
"You should get some sleep," Inuyasha said thickly. Kagome nodded, but she refused to let him go.
They held on to each other all night.
In the weeks that followed, it felt like a dark cloud had settled over their home. Inuyasha refused to let Kagome out of his sight for even an instant and touched her constantly. Rubbing her back. Holding her hand. Checking her temperature. Sitting too close to her at dinner so their knees touched. Holding her so close at night that it was sometimes hard to breathe.
Suffocating.
That was the word that kept coming to mind, despite herself. And she felt so, so, guilty about it. She couldn't live like this forever, but she couldn't bring herself to ask her husband to back off. She knew how that would turn out; he'd become angry and embarrassed and she'd end up reassuring him. Which was fine, normally, but damn it, how was she supposed to comfort someone when she was hurting just as badly?
Everything came to a head when she finally told him she was going to bathe with Sango-without him. He'd argued so much that Kagome had been seconds away from using the dreaded s-word on him. She would have, and bitterly regretted it later if Sango hadn't stepped in. Her friend and kept her tone even, reminding Inuyasha that she was still more than capable of defending Kagome if danger attacked, promising to bring the Hiraikotsu if he wanted her to, and that Miroku wanted to talk to him anyway. He'd relented, after making them promise to be back soon.
"Thanks Sango," Kagome said wearily, "Sorry you had to bring that thing with us." Sango shook her head, dropping the boomerang on the ground with a thump.
"I'm honestly surprised he agreed." Sango admitted. "I thought we'd have to let him hide in a tree close by or something." Kagome sank into the hot water and groaned.
"He's driving me crazy." She whispered miserably. "I haven't had a moment alone in over a month."
"Do you want one now?" Sango asked, "I can bathe another time." Kagome shook her head.
"I really appreciate everything you and Miroku had done for us," she said earnestly, "the food baskets were a life-saver." Sango slipped into the hot water, subtly checking that her boomerang was within an arm's reach. She hadn't said all those things just to appease the hanyou.
"It was the twins' idea. We haven't given them the whole story of course, just that Aunty hasn't been feeling well and Uncle Doggy has been looking after you. Aiko seemed especially upset, she really loves Inuyasha and wanted to help. Are you holding up ok?" Kagome scrubbed at her face,
"Not really. I'm not in pain anymore so I want to get out of our hut. I need to go back to my training. I need to do something. All his fussing over me…it's just a constant reminder of what happened and it hurts." A lump formed in her throat. Sango's hand gently took hers.
"I understand. You want to get past it, but right now Inuyasha can't."
Kagome's heart swelled with affection and appreciation for Sango.
"I've never seen him so frightened." Sango said quietly, "He thought you were going to die." She paused and continued, "Has he told you that when you were gone, he jumped inside the well every three days?"
Kagome's hand lifted to her mouth and tears pricked her eyes.
"For three years?"
Sango nodded sadly.
"Miroku and I did everything we could to make him feel like part of our family, but he couldn't move on. You're his whole world, Kagome."
Kagome shook her head, letting the tears fall. Her heart was at war. One side was berating her for daring to get angry at such a devoted husband, but the other was whispering, that's not healthy, it's too much pressure to put on one person.
"So, what do I do?" She asked, wiping her eyes. Sango tugged her friend into an embrace that Kagome gratefully collapsed into.
"I don't know, but we'll figure it out together."
That evening, Kagome noticed that Inuyasha was acting strangely. Well, a different kind of strange. She wasn't sure what Miroku had said to him, but he seemed very tense. He hadn't touched her once since she came home. Instead, he prowled around their hut, unable to stay still. His ears twitched at every sound, no matter how small. His hands kept clenching into fists and releasing. When he did sit down, it was only for a few minutes of restless fidgeting before he was up again, doing whatever menial task he could find. She sighed.
"Inuyasha?"
"What?" He snapped.
"Would you come here a moment?"
He knelt beside her, hands tucked firmly away in his sleeves. Kagome reached up and touched his cheek, taking in how tired he suddenly looked.
"Inuyasha, I'm so sorry."
His golden eyes widened.
"Why? You haven't done anything wrong." He sounded alarmed, almost angry. She pulled him in for a feather-light kiss on his lips, their first in weeks. A quiet knock interrupted. Kagome heard Miroku's failed attempt to restrain the girls and they charged in, each holding something in their hands.
"Sorry," Sango said when she came in, holding her squirming son in her arms, "They got away from us."
"We brought dinner," Miroku offered, holding up the basket. Inuyasha, blushing faintly at the interruption had retreated into the corner, only grunting his acknowledgement of their friend's arrival. Hikari, the more reserved of the twins, tugged on Kagome's sleeve.
"Look," She said shyly. Kagome lifted the toddler onto her lap so she could see better. Hikari had brought her a piece of quartz that looked exactly like a sacred jewel shard. Meanwhile, Aiko had plopped herself in front of Inuyasha and was holding her rock in front of his face.
"Look!" She demanded, pointedly ignoring her mother's gentle order to leave Doggy alone. Inuyasha took the quartz and held it in his hand. Aiko's proud smile faded when Inuyasha's expression didn't change.
"Sad?" she asked, "Why?"
"Aiko," Miroku warned, "Your mother said to leave Doggy alone." She ignored him too, clambering onto Inuyasha's lap and giving him a firm kiss on the cheek. Inuyasha blinked in confusion, but he made no attempt to move the toddler off him. Aiko seized her advantage and wrapped her little arms around him as far as they could reach.
"Sorry you're sad." She told him solemnly. Everyone watched nervously, unsure how Inuyasha was going to react. Slowly, his arms came around the little girl, hugging her close.
"Thanks, runt." He mumbled.
Kagome let out the breath she hadn't realized she was holding.
He wasn't ok. He probably wouldn't be for a while yet. But, hopefully at the very least, he knew he wasn't alone.
FIN.