A/N: This is just a paper I wrote in 7th grade...Hope you like it!
How Squirrels came to be…
Long ago, in the mountains of central Greece, lived a young man named Squirrelicus. Squirrelicus was young and reckless, and thought about nothing but himself. Even the gods themselves were unimportant in Squirrelicus's eyes, and they couldn't stand it. When his mother died in a lightning storm he turned bitter. He not only thieved, but now he killed. He killed his own sister. His brother, Eurytion, left him to be a cowherd for Apollo's sacred red cows because he knew Squirrelicus was a madman.
Squirrelicus was alone. He moved from city to city, town to town, house to house, stealing, killing. He called himself a traveling merchant.
One day in late spring, the weather was beautiful. The flowers blossomed and bloomed, and the breeze carried their sickly-sweet scent across the land, rustling the branches on the olive trees, passing over the noses of animals leaping through the air. The wood Nymphs danced in the meadows. Persephone and her maidens picked beautiful flowers on the island of Sicily. The world was rejoicing, for it was finally Spring. Farmers gathered olives and wheat, barley and rosemary, bundling them up and saving them for the coming Winter. Everyone walked with a spring in their step, glowing with happiness.
A hooded figure hurried down a stony path, arms laden with gold statues, cloak stained with blood. The gods watched from above with distaste.
Zeus was not the least bit happy. He was in fact furious. He was indeed the king of the gods, the most revered and adored. He did, after all control the weather. He was angry because this thief was stealing from his temples, and he wanted the gifts and wonderful food that the people offered to him. He had more than 100 children and he was planning on ordering one of them to take care of this nuisance. After all, as King of the Gods, he didn't have to lift a finger; He just had to give an inspiring speech that would encourage them to do his work for him.
"Someone must stop it," Zeus said, "The question is who. I cannot tolerate anyone defacing my temples! He must be stopped at once! Call all the gods to Olympus, Hermes; we have a very important matter to discuss."
"Right away, Father!" Hermes said as he took his caduceus and flew off on his winged sandals.
"Hera!" Zeus yelled across the halls.
"What?" Hera strolled through the golden palace hallways, running her hand along the golden statues and beautiful tapestries woven from magical wool and gold.
"Have you seen Artemis and Apollo, dear?"
"Now tell me, King of the Gods," she spat, "why would I care about them? They're not mine. In fact, if it was up to me, they'd be dead by now."
Hera was always turned a little bitter when Zeus talked about his other children. She was forever jealous and couldn't tolerate them. In fact, most of their mothers were already dead or punished in some way.
"Humph!" Zeus walked to his throne and sat down. "Artemis! Apollo!" He bellowed. The twins materialized in front of him.
Artemis was a maiden who took a vow of chastity, vowing never to marry. She was as excellent of a marksman as her twin brother, Apollo. She was goddess of the moon, the hunt, of women in childbirth, and young children and animals. She had many, many names and she liked it for she had asked her father, Zeus, for as many names as the stars. She had also asked for hunting dogs and nymphs. Artemis punished men who angered her.
Apollo was the god who drove the sun across the sky in his golden chariot. His children are the muses and he loves music. He played the lyre, the panpipe and any other instrument you could think of. He was also an excellent marksman. When a queen boasted that she had more children than Artemis's and Apollo's mother, he and Artemis killed all of her children with their bows and arrows.
"Honestly, father!" Apollo protested, "I was having a swell time with a maiden in Athens. She loved music and…" he faltered when he saw the look on Zeus's face.
"And what, may I ask, were you doing in my city?" Athena questioned as she strolled in to the throne room, examining a scroll.
"Alright, alright! Let's not kill each other for trivial reasons," Zeus warned.
"Yes, Father," they all said.
"Now, I want all of you to watch this," Zeus walked over to a humongous fountain taking up a large amount of space, "Iris, goddess of the rainbow," he said, "Show me Squirrelicus."
He tossed a gold drachma into the fountain. In seconds, an image materialized of a young man with wavy brown hair and emerald green muscular arms flexed whenever he damaged more of the temple. His physique was arguably that of a god's. He was in the process of bagging acorns atop an altar into large burlap sacks.
"Father, what is the meaning of this?" Artemis questioned, her voice a whisper.
"Wait," Zeus answered, "and watch."
The man took out a short sword and ran it into statues, slashing at colorful weavings. He cut all the noses off the statues. The other offerings people left for the gods were smashed against a wall. He was defacing the temple he was robbing. It was a horrible sight. Athena gasped rather loudly. As soon as the gasp came out of her mouth, her hand flew to her mouth and her eyes widened because she knew the thief could hear her.
Squirrelicus turned slowly towards the Iris message. He saw them. The short sword flew through the air as the man threw it. The Iris message dissolved.
"You see, something must be done! We shall call all an emergency council of the gods to address this issue," Zeus announced.
The next day, at noon, the 12 gods and goddesses of Olympus sat at their thrones uneasily, wary about this emergency council.
"I have gathered all of you here today," Zeus announced in order to silence them, "because a great injustice has been done to me." The gods leaned in closer. "Temples across Greece, my temples, have been robbed and defaced," he stopped as the gods murmured in agreement, not too loudly as not to anger Zeus. "By one man, Squirrelicus! A thieving liar and murderer! We must take action!" Zeus's voice thundered through the room.
A spear, stained with blood, appeared in Ares' hand. His eyes of flame burned even brighter at the thought of a new kill. Ares was a bloodthirsty god and jumped at any opportunity to start a war.
Aphrodite giggled as she gaped at the most gorgeous person in all of Greece, herself. She frowned a little when she saw the smudge on her mirror. That was not acceptable. The most beautiful goddess in Greece deserved a spotless mirror.
Athena sat up straighter as she thought of traps and strategies to capture Squirrelicus. She was, after all, the smartest goddess on Olympus. She even had her own city, Athens, named after her.
Dionysus thought about drowning Squirrelicus in a vat of wine. He changed the image in his mind to himself swimming in a vat of wine. Dionysus had created wine and he loved it. Women were fine, but it was wine that was really his favorite.
Hephaestus imagined a contraption able to catch thieves in the act of thieving. His blacksmithing skills made anything possible. After all, he had captured his own mother in her throne and forced her to apologize to him for throwing him off Olympus.
Hermes planned out his long route to get to the Underworld to deliver this news to Hades. Hades wouldn't be interested anyways, for he didn't have any temples. As for Squirrelicus, he didn't really mind. Hermes was the god of thieves and travelers and Squirrelicus was considered to be both.
Poseidon thought about sending a flood and a whole army of sea monsters. He smiled at the thought of flooding Athens, the city he and Athena had competed for patronage of.
Apollo composed a new song in his head to play on the lyre while someone else punished Squirrelicus. It was to be called The Tragedy of Squirrelicus.
Artemis fingered her bow while thinking of killing Squirrelicus. She decided that that wasn't good enough. She would turn him into a weasel. Yes, that sounded splendid.
Demeter didn't dare think of death or despair. Her beloved daughter, Persephone, had returned from the underworld after her months with Hades.
Hera stroked the head of her beautiful peacock and sighed. Her marriage was very unfortunate. How unlucky she was. Being Queen of the gods was not worth the price.
Zeus gazed at all of them, wanting at least one of them to take up the task so he wouldn't have to. He had better things to do. Especially with that maiden in Athens Apollo had spoken so fondly of.
"I volunteer to resolve this problem. I volunteer to punish Squirrelicus!" Artemis said, standing
"I, too, will join Artemis!" Apollo announced, also standing.
"Wonderful," Zeus said, "and find him soon!"
Artemis and Apollo left the great throne room.
"Alright, you can capture him and punish him, and I'll play a mournful song on my lyre. Wonderful isn't it?" Apollo said.
"Is that the only reason you joined me, Brother?" Artemis asked.
"Why yes, it is in fact the reason I came," Apollo said happily.
Artemis and Apollo found themselves in a small town in the mountains while searching for Squirrelicus. They searched for hours. Finally, they found him hunched over a sack of acorns.
Artemis motioned to Apollo to stay while she went. In front of his eyes, she transformed into a young girl. She limped over to Squirrelicus.
"Leave me be, orphan." Artemis could hear the tone of pain in his voice of honey. He might've been an evil man, but he was once good. Once.
"Please, sir," she pleaded, "could you spare some of those acorns? I haven't eaten in days."
"No!" he spat, "Leave me alone, you filthy orphan!"
"Please! Sir, I beg you. Would you deny a girl dinner for the fifth day in a row? All I am asking is three, maybe four acorns." She tried as best she could to act as young as she could.
"I told you to leave, didn't I? You are dirtying me with your presence."
"Then you leave me no choice." Artemis transformed into her true godly self. Squirrelicus fell at her feet.
"Oh, Artemis Phoebe!" he cried, "Bright one! Show me mercy!"
Artemis took out her bow.
"Squirrelicus, you are to be punished for your evil deeds. Prepare to be turned into a weasel," Artemis said, pulling back on her bow.
Squirrelicus dashed away, leaving the sack of acorns behind. Artemis chased after him. She stood, aimed at her target and fired. The arrow snagged on his shirt and pinned him to a tree. Perfect hit.
Artemis strolled over to where Squirrelicus was pinned to the tree. She ripped the arrow out of his shirt and threw him to the ground.
"Please don't kill me; I'm too young to die!" Squirrelicus begged.
Oh, I'm not going to kill you… your punishment is far, far worse. Apollo, come!" Artemis yelled to her twin.
Apollo jogged over, holding his lyre.
"Are you ready for the mournful song?" he asked. Artemis nodded.
As Apollo picked at his lyre, Squirrelicus turned into a weasel-like creature with a long body and tail.
"Ah! What's happening to me?" Squirrelicus screamed. His voice turned into a little annoyed chitter. "Nya-nya! Nya-nya!"
Zeus watched from above, pleased with his daughter's work. But there was something missing. He took his master bolt and shot a lightning bolt down at Squirrelicus. The minute the bolt connected with him, his tail went poof!
Zeus smiled, because now it was perfect. Squirrelicus was a small little rodent with a thin body and a poofy tail. As Zeus examined his work, he decided to call it a Squirrel.
As Squirrelicus lived his life as a squirrel, he got frustrated and tried to smooth his tail down or wet it with water. It still went poof! And all the creatures of the earth fell over laughing when the saw him, for his appearance was truly laughable. Kings across the land wanted him to be a buffoon in court, but the squirrel would never be caught because of his sly and sneaky ways. However, when anyone heard his chitter from the trees, they knew it would of course be the squirrel.