A/N: If you read the summary, you've got a pretty good idea of what to expect. Basically, it's a representative of whatever army I feel like doing, stuck inside a house as part of a 'peace negotiation.' If you know anything about 40k, you'd know this'll never happen, so I made some... extenuating circumstances. I'll explain them later.
Hopefully, this'll take up a bit more of my focus, so I'll actually update. Hey, it can happen.
As this is a demo, it's essentially a list of each diplomat.
On to the (very odd) fic!
Disclaimer: You know, you'd think I wouldn't have to say it... I only own the OCs mentioned. This was inspired by the webcomic DaRealWurld40k, as can be found on DeviantArt. I'll retract it only if the original author of DRW40k asks me to.
Diplomacy is a Real...
Chapter 0
Demo
Here's the list of diplomats! And yes, they will be very... very odd.
Representing the Blood Ravens Chapter, and the Imperium's Space Marines in General:
Name: Blood Ravens Captain Budosin Karensk (aka Bud)
Age: 137 (He claims he's still 87)
Height: Freakin Huge! (8'5")
Personality: Pissed.
Hobbies: Collects Bolter shells and make art out of them. Oh, and playing Warhammer 40k Tabletop
Other Information: Likes to shout battlecrys as he rolls the dice. He also cries when he loses.
Reason for being here: The Emperor walked off the Throne and decided to change his foreign policy. His previous position got him shanked.
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Representing the Chaotic Space Marines in All Of Their Evil Power:
Name: Alpha Legion Captain Alpharius #275. Also goes by Jack. If you want to piss him off, call him OMG! (Legion Readers will get that one)
Age: 10,137. He says he's 10,087.
Height: 9'2". (May be edited if I ever get out my copy of Legion and read what it says about height.)
Personality: He's a Ninja-Matrix Spy... thing...
Hobbies: Stealing Bud's statues. And playing Warhammer 40k Tabletop.
Other Information: Shh... It's a secret.
Reason For Being Here: The Chaos Gods have decided that a more diplomatic approach would suit them. And if you've read Legion, it'll make a bit more sense.
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Representing the Orks of WootDakkaDakkaDakka's WAAAGH!:
Name: WootDakkaDakkaDakka Izzelf (We call him Dakka)
Age: We don't really know...
Height: 7'15". He's bad at math.
Personality: Loot, Smash Chop and Stomp tend to be a god summary...
Hobbies: See above.
Other information: Waaghing is fun.
Reason For Being Here: Had nothing better to do.
Representing the Glorious Eldar of the Wonderful, Illustrious, Scholarly, Beautiful, Wonderful (did I say that already?) etc, etc, Esthoy Craftworld.
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Name: Farseer Shortmoose.
Age: He can't remember, too much pot.
Height: 5'6", hence his name.
Personality: Hippie Space Elf. Nuff said.
Hobbies: Getting high, protesting the conformist government.
Other information: Likes organic clothing. And makes his own 40k figures out of wraithbone.
Reason For Being Here: "Like, hey, man... people are finally giving peace a chance, man... whoa... have you ever really seen your hand, man?"
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Representing the Imperial Guard.
Name: Lord General Faust
Age: 53
Height: 6'2"
Personality: Aged veteran who hates everything.
Hobbies: Delegating Imp Guardsmen to get him beer and pretzels.
Other Information. Never loses 40k, though he rarely plays Imp Guard, because 'they suck!' (quoted)
Reason For Being Here: Ran out of people to play against and got bored.
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Representing the Necron Species and the C'Tan:
Name: Lord Aulianas Darakathos (yeah, reference to my story. So?)
Age: Untold millenia. If you ask, he'll say 42.
Height: 7', if he ever stood up straight.
Personality: Negative Cynic, who likes poking fun every situation.
Hobbies: Collecting Souls, racking up kills in 40k, and wasting lots of energy getting his Monolith online.
Other information: Not much. I'm not making him semi-emo.
Reason for being here: The C'Tan felt left out.
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Representing the Tau:
Name: Sirius Redwind.
Age: Refuses to answer.
Height: 5' 7". Pisses off the Eldar.
Personality: about as far from Darakathos as you can get.
Hobbies: Being naïve, playing 40k as Tyranids.
Other Information: Forgot his Railgun, but decided that he didn't need it. This was a peace negotiation, right?
Reason for Being Here: He was highly valued by his government! (they wanted to get rid of him)
The Squat couldn't make it. He was discontinued.