Disclaimer: I do NOT own any of SRMTHFG! All rights belong to the rightful owner and creator.
Please review and tell me what you think of this one-shot! I thought that the Skeleton King took himself waaay too seriously, so I decided to write this and make fun of him. Hope you like it. I think this is the most hilarious one-shot I've ever written. Its pure genius. :)
The Skeleton King's Vacation
It was yet again another summer vacation and the Skeleton King was thinking over what to do this year. He usually went to the beach to do some fresh tanning to his skull, but this year he wanted to do something else besides sitting on his bony ass tanning all day. He was currently sitting in his throne nearby the pit of ooze and was considerably bored to death. When it comes to days like these the Skeleton King didn't think it was a bad idea to tan, thinking about it.
When Azalea came into the room she saw how depressed and weary her master looked. She asked him what the matter was and he replied,
"I don't know what I should do this year Azalea. I would want to go tanning in the Shuggazoom Bahama's again, but I'm not too sure if I should. I kind of want a nice golden glow to my skull again." He took out a handheld mirror that he kept beside him and inspected the complexion of his skull. It still wasn't bad, but it wasn't as it used to be in his younger, more hip days. He could tell that he was getting old.
"If that's what you really want to do then I think you should. I'll take care of the Citadel of Bone when you're away." The Skeleton King arose to his feet triumphantly and pumped his fists in the air.
"Yes Azalea, that's what I should do! I'll go and get ready right away! Trying to take over the world makes you feel so stressful and isn't good for your health."
While the Skeleton King was getting ready to once again go to the Shuggazoom Bahama's for his summer vacation, Azalea sweat dropped and muttered to herself,
"He really is the humorous type now isn't he?" She also realized that he had no other life outside of trying to take over and wreak havoc on Shuggazoom city. At around this time of year she can tell that he starts getting really lazy and hoped that he wouldn't tan too much. Last year when he came back from the Shuggazoom Bahama's his skin was a nice crispy brown color, knowing that he was terribly sun-burnt. It was just as crispy as a freshly deep fried chicken. She swore that he had a tanning and hover burger addiction. How he ate those hover burgers? It was even a mystery to her.
When the Skeleton King got all of his bags ready to go he stood outside the exit of the Citadel of Bone. He was wearing his awesome sunglasses with a red Hawaiian shirt. He set his two bags down next to him and Azalea stood in front of the doorway to see him off.
"Goodbye Azalea," he said. "I'll leave the Citadel of Bone up to you." He took each of his packed bags in each hand and continued, "I'll also be doing some swimming while I'm at it." He slapped his bag. "Right in here is a new speed-o ready to be worn. I've heard in one of the magazines that swimming is good for developing structural bone strength. I just hope that it doesn't make my bony ass look too big." Azalea rolled her eyes.
"I'm sure you don't need to worry about that," she said. "Have fun and don't get too tanned now." She was still horrified at the memory of the Skeleton King's crispy skull. With that he was off and she was just glad that she could spend some time alone in the Citadel of Bone without his bossy attitude around.
It took a long time, but the Skeleton King finally arrived at the Shuggazoom Bahama's. There were palm trees everywhere, knowing that he was in the tropics and felt the warm breeze blow against his bones. He drove his new Ford Fusion through the parking lot and parked in a parking space when he found one. On the back window of his hovering Ford Fusion there were decals on it that said, "Bad to the Bone" with a skull and crossbones on it.
He finished parking in his parking space, bumping into someone else's car in the process and got out of his car, like he owned the streets. The Skeleton King breathed in a breath of fresh air and enjoyed the fresh smell of hover burgers and the salty ocean smell. He took his bags out of the back of his trunk and saw how many people were out on the beach. There wasn't one good spot reserved for him.
"Ah yes, the Shuggazoom Bahama's! Now, let's try finding a good spot to go to and relax while tanning." He walked around the beach, feeling the sand dig in between his moist bony toes and tried to find a good spot on the beach, but there were none. Since he came late during the day all of the good spots were already taken. This pissed him off and nobody comes in between a skeleton's vacation and tanning. He saw that there was this fat ass shirtless guy lying down on a blanket underneath an umbrella. The Skeleton King then used his laser eye-beams at the guy and said to move out of the way so that he can have his special tanning time. The guy moved his fat ass out of the way before his ass got kicked and so the skeleton took his spot. He removed the umbrella and set up his lounge beach chair. He laid down across it and put his sunglasses over his eyes while putting on some 'fake bake' tanning lotion to make his bones have a nice golden glow to his complexion. He then laid out there in the intense sun to have the lotion seep deep into his bone marrow and to make him look like a crispy deep fried chicken.
After two hours in the full sunlight he was now nice and crispy and the 'fake bake' tanning lotion that he used on his bones worked great. He looked down at himself and was now fully tanned and handsome looking.
"Man, the reviews weren't lying when they said that it worked faster than original tanning. Better get some more next summer." The Skeleton King continued to chill and lie there on the beach chair and relaxed underneath the intense heat of the sun.
It wasn't long before a new young and hip guy came to the beach. He was a young guy with blonde hair, blue eyes and had a golden tan just as good as the Skeleton King's. He had all of the ladies dressed in bikini's surrounding him, talking to him and flirting with him. The Skeleton King put up his sunglasses to see this and felt jealously riling up in him. He just put his sunglasses back on and tried to ignore him.
A few minutes later the young hip guy went up to the Skeleton King and started calling him an old bag of bones. The Skeleton King lifted up his sunglasses on top of his head and exclaimed,
"Who are you calling an old bag of bones?! I'm the one who has an awesome tan!" In reality the Skeleton King's tan was hideous. He was defiantly out in the sun for too long and his skin looked like charcoal and starting peeling away at the top of his bone cartilage.
"Oh really gramps? Is that lines that I see on your face?!"
"What lines? I have lines?!" the Skeleton King began panicking.
"Of course you don't you idiot! You don't even have any skin on your face to even have lines!" the young man continue to make fun of him and the Skeleton King exclaimed,
"Just who are you?!"
"I'm Morlath! The ice guy that you captured in your scepter? Now that I'm free I want my revenge on you!"
"Wait, how did you get out? And where did you get that hot rod body at?!"
"Azalea was kind enough to free me and I possessed someone else's body so that I may live a wonderful life of getting accepted by the ladies! If you still not so chicken I would like to challenge you to the ultimate volley ball challenge!" The Skeleton King stood up from his lounge beach chair, making a cracking noise with his neck.
"You're on! What are the rules?"
"Whoever loses the winner gets to capture him and keep him imprisoned for eternity!" the Skeleton King gulped and agreed to the challenge. He knew that his life was at stake here and refuses to be imprisoned when there's still a city he needs to take over.
"Let's bring this over to the volleyball ring," the Skeleton King said dramatically.
The two of them were on opposite sides of the volleyball net and there were quite a few spectators watching them. It wasn't often where they saw the Skeleton King in a hideous tan and being challenged to a volleyball fight. The Skeleton King prepared himself and knew that if he could beat Morlath at a game of volleyball then he can do anything. Morlath had the volleyball in his hand and said,
"Whoever has three points' first wins the game?"
With that the volleyball game begun!
Morlath hit the volleyball up in the air and the ball went up and over the net. The Skeleton King reached to hit it and successfully had it go over the net. They hit the ball back and forth to each other, until Morlath came right up to the net and hit it so hard that the ball went crashing to the ground, winning the hot rod guy a point. The ladies cheered for him and he showed off his six pack abs and flexed his big bulky muscles like Johnny Bravo would. The Skeleton King grumpily picked up the ball.
"That was just a cheap shot! This time I'll be playing for real!" The Skeleton King punched the ball up in the air and slapped it over the net. Once again they passed the ball to one another multiple times, and it was a while before the Skeleton King could get himself one point.
"Finally!" the Skeleton King cheered. "In your face Morlath!"
"We'll see who wins this time!" he shot back.
Once again they went through another round of forcefully strike the ball back to one another, playing very seriously since none of them wanted to be imprisoned by their opponents. They went like this for a while and spouted negative put downs and remarks to each other, until they both had two points.
Morlath then held the volleyball in his hand and said,
"Not bad for an old bag of bones Skeleton King, but this last round will determine the winner."
"Bring it on Jack Frost!" Morlath then tossed the ball up in the air and they once again slammed the ball over the net at one another. The Skeleton King was determined to win this and wasn't going to lose to that Morlath bastard. After all, he had dreams of conquering Shuggazoom city after all.
Just about when the volleyball was going to hit the sand on the Skeleton King's side of the net, he managed to dive down for the ball and hit it back up in the air, up and over the volleyball net. Morlath was going to hit it back at him since it was an easy shot to get, but the Skeleton King used his laser eyes to burn the ball into a million pieces of ash. Morlath grew furious and exclaimed,
"Hey! That was cheating!"
"It never says anywhere in the volleyball handbook that you can turn to ash a volleyball so that all of the pieces of it can fall to the ground."
"He's right," said one of the women. "All it says in the rules is that as long as the volleyball touches the ground on the opponent's side you gain a point." The Skeleton King stood up straight and tall, putting his hands on his hips to try and show off his awesome tan!
"That's right!" he exclaimed. "So I thought that if pieces of ash of the volleyball landed on the opponent's side then even just one single ash can gain you a point! Just as long as it's on the ground!"
"NOOO!" Morlath exclaimed.
"That's right!" the king said smugly. "I win! Ha-ha! In your face Morlath!" The Skeleton King then took out his scepter and absorbed his icy spirit inside of his staff, gaining his cold powers. "I have you now!" The spectators that were around the volleyball court stared at the Skeleton King like he was some kind of freak, and technically they weren't too far off with that one. He decided to cool himself off by putting his cold scepter on his neck, chilling him all the way to the inside of his bone marrow. "Ah, now, all of that volleyball is sure working up an appetite. I wonder if they have any hover burgers around here."
After the Skeleton King ordered one hover burger, he wasn't too sure why they called them that until he got his hands on one. He walked back to his beach lounge chair and sat down in it while struggling to keep the hover burger from flying into space.
"Damn! Stupid hover burgers! Stop trying to fly away and go into my mouth instead! Fill my taste buds with greasy and meaty goodness!"
Just about as he was going to take a bite of one a pickle and slice of lettuce, slipped away from within the hot buns of the burger and began hovering into space. The Skeleton King stared at the floating condiments and just shrugged as they floated away, continuing to eat the hover burger before anything else decided to float away from him.
Once he was done eating his burger he thought that it was time for a little swimming to be done. He wanted to do that so badly all year because he didn't want his bones to get all brittle and frail from not exercising. He needed to keep himself in tip top physical shape in order for him to encounter the Hyper Force Team again. He certainly wanted to surprise them next time he encountered them. He wanted to show off how amazing the 'fake bake' tan spray worked. The sun literally baked the tanning spray into his bone marrow so that he doesn't have to worry about it washing off.
The Skeleton King licked the grease off his fingers and arose onto his feet and did a little of some stretching before taking a dip into the water. He got himself a new and improved speed-o this year that he wanted to show off as well. He stood in front of the ocean and prepared himself.
"Now that my stomach's filled it's time to do some swimming. Get ready world here comes the new and improved Skeleton King!" He ripped his black shorts off to reveal his pink speed-o that he was wearing. The people saw the hideousness before them and the women covered their children's eyes. Some of the people who looked became permanently blind. He then jumped into the water. He began swimming and feeling his frail and brittle bones strengthening and hardening into something more sturdy. Resilient he would say. He did this for most of the day until the end of the day came around.
A few days later the Skeleton King came back from his vacation to the Shuggazoom Bahama's and came back to the Citadel of Bone. He was still dressed in his red Hawaiian shirt, black shorts, sunglasses. He brought his bags back inside and held in his hand a holographic snow cone. He's been trying to lick it all morning because he's heard how great it tasted, but every time he tried to take a lick of it his tongue only went through it. All that he tasted was dry air.
"Damn it! I guess they don't call it a holographic snow cone for nothing. I paid fricking twenty bucks for this thing and it's not even edible!" The Skeleton King tossed it towards the side and tried looking for his servant. "Azalea?! Where are you?!"
When he came into his throne room he saw that there was a note on it that said, "Dear Skeleton King, sorry it had to be like this but I've joined the Super Robot whatever Team now. Goodbye. P.S. Your kind of crazy and insane and your tan is hideous." His anger burned just as hot as his freshly tanned skull. He furiously exclaimed,
"AZALEA?!"