What do you see?

by Yessiec

Ryan's thoughts during the early parts of season 5. There will be 2 chapters that will contain 2 slightly different versions of this poem. I don't own Sea Patrol.

1. Chapter 1

What do you See? Version 2

What do you see when you look at me?

Do you see someone who is happy?

Do you see someone who is content?

Do you see a teen whose actions are their mother's lament?

Do you see a confident young man?

Do you see someone whom is nice to fishermen?

What do I see when I look at myself?

I see a young man who path is not right.

Almost like a cat sitting on the top shelf.

While you may think that I am happy,

I am weeping inside, not willing to fight.

You cornered me to bend to your will,

But you did not consider how I would feel.

I am trying to adjust to being in the Navy,

But I preferred working on the docks.

Don't get me wrong I love the sea,

The seagulls are beautiful in their flocks,

The sunrise is more majestic when on the water

And my crewmates will always have my back.

But I don't feel at home,

I fell very, very much alone.

I do not enjoy my work in the navy.

My Father has just showed up

He is very sick from what I have heard,

I may be his only chance at life,

But his absence has felt like being stabbed with a knife,

Our relationship with each other has now been healed,

But chances are slim that he will ever be.

To gain someone back only to lose them seems worthless,

But I guess to him this time is anything but useless.

I can see that dad wants to makes amends for his wrongs.

I am happy that we have this chance to reconcile.

I feel grieved that I will lose him again soon,

Though next time he will not return to me,

Next time he leaves it will be to his grave.

So here I am a young man searching,

For what I am seeking I am not sure,

but this I know when I find it, it will have an allure,

So onward I search until I can find

What I have been looking for with my heart and my mind.