Author's Note: Hey! I recently decided that Lupin and Tonks are one of my favorite couples, and so this was born. I do not own Harry Potter. This takes place in Order of the Pheonix, or probably between Goblet of Fire and Order of the Pheonix.
This is just a oneshot, but I had a lot of fun writing Lupin and Tonks, so there might be more. Who knows.
Enjoy!
~BarbedWire
Remus Lupin had never felt particularly in control of his life. His 'condition' had made that impossible. How could one feel in control of their lives when each month they completely and utterly lost control of their body and digressed into a bloodthirsty rampaging beast?
He could not remember feeling less in control of himself as he did right now.
The troubling thing was, he was not in the midst of painful and terrifying transformation. He was sitting at the kitchen table in Grimmauld Place. It was also not his body that Remus felt he had no handle over, it was his mind and that greatly terrified him. His mind had been always been the one portion of himself he felt he could maintain control over. He could learn to discipline his thoughts even if he could not discipline his transformations. His mind was his sanctuary, a place of perfect order and clarity; a place where he knew who he was and what he stood for, a place where he was in charge.
This morning, he certainly did not feel very in charge. His mind was running rampant, allowing his imagination free reign over his thoughts. Under no circumstances should he have allowed his imagination to go where it was going as Nymphadora Tonks entered the kitchen and sat down.
Her hair was its typical pink color, nearly shoulder length today with a bit of a wave to it. Remus liked it long, though she usually wore it shorter. She moved clumsily along in the kitchen, bumping elbows and edges of the table. Several plates of breakfast nearly fell into the laps of their owners as she hurried along to her chair. Remus couldn't help but smile as she sank into her seat, blushing slightly. He also could not help notice the absurd length of her skirt, or how tightly her shirt clung to her body. Nor had he failed to notice that she had chosen the seat opposite him, or that she was now looking across the table at him, her blush much deeper.
"Wotcher Remus," she said, taking the tray of breakfast Molly Weasley offered her gratefully.
"Good morning, Nymphadora." She made a face at his use of her name. He smiled at her, inwardly cursing himself for teasing her. He should not, under any circumstances be talking to her in such a decidedly flirtatious manner.
They were fellow Order members, people united in their quest to help Dumbledore and destroy Voldemort. They were mission partners sometimes and even friends, but that was it. That was all they were or would ever be. That was all they should be. She was much, much younger than him, she was a promising young Auror with every hope of a successful and fulfilling life. She did not need to be burdened down with an aging, poor, werewolf with nothing except what Dumbledore gave him and no hope for improvement. It would be wrong to tie her down with all that- not to mention that she wouldn't want him at all. Tonks was too young to look at him, too successful and pretty to ever look on his scarred, lined face and tattered greying robes with anything more than friendly affection or pity.
His imagination was running away with him, and he was thinking things that someone like him ought never to think about someone like Tonks, things that a man in his position had no right to hope for. Desperate to reign in his unchecked mind, he looked away from her, down the table at Sirius who smiled cheekily. Remus glared at him.
It wasn't Sirius's fault that Remus was not in control of his thoughts, and yet Remus blamed him. If it weren't for Sirius's cheeky grins and 'see anything you like yet Moony?' comments he was sure he would not be sitting here now, avoiding her gaze and struggling in vain not to notice how perfectly her pink hair framed her face or how it set off her shockingly blue eyes.
In an attempt to not appear rude, he grudgingly turned back to face Tonks. He was almost shocked when he found her staring directly at him. She seemed shocked too, and she hurriedly tried to strike up a conversation with Mundungus Fletcher who sat on her left side. Unfortunately, she turned so quickly that she sent her glass of pumpkin juice flying across the table. Somehow she had managed to splash it over half the people at the table, a feat amazing even for her.
"Oh!" she exclaimed, standing up to wipe the juice off her neighbors and causing her chair to fall over in the process. "Dammit. Sorry everyone!"
Remus was unable to keep the smile off his face as Tonks finally gave up and stepped back against the wall to avoid causing any more problems.
After a few minutes, Molly had managed to clean everyone off, and Tonks returned to her seat. She ate the rest of her breakfast in silence, a deep blush of embarrassment across her face. It wasn't long before the Order began to leave the kitchen for their various tasks. All of those unlucky enough to not have a proper mission were quickly drafted into helping Molly clean up the dusty house. Today Molly had even succeeded in forcing Sirius into working.
Remus did not really understand how it had happened, but somehow as the kitchen had emptied, he had failed to leave, until now he found himself one of only two people in that tiny room.
Naturally, the only other person was Tonks. While it took Remus several moments to realize his error, Tonks seemed almost as if she had been waiting for everyone else to leave.
"What are you up to today?" she asked casually, striding away from the table to place her empty plate on the pile of plates that were washing themselves in the sink.
"I have to see Dumbledore." He replied, placing his own plate in the pile as well.
"Oh," she almost looked disappointed, although Remus had no idea what could be disappointing her. He found himself increasingly anxious to get out of the kitchen. The room was feeling smaller and smaller every moment, and the temperature seemed to be rising.
"And you?" he asked. He mustn't be rude to her, no matter how uncomfortable he was feeling.
"I'm going in to work," She glanced down at her watch. "In about a minute actually."
"Well you should hurry," he teased, and she smiled at him with a smile so beautiful he could hardly fathom it. "Kingsley won't be happy if you are late."
"I suppose. See you later then," she gave a little wave as she exited the kitchen. A moment there was a thump, and the sound of Tonks yelling profanities as she once again knocked over the troll leg umbrella stand outside the door.
"You have a good day too Tonks," he called out to her, smiling even as he cursed himself. Nothing could ever come of it, but there wouldn't be any harm in imagining falling in love with her, just for a moment…