"SHUT UP!" I screamed at the top of my voice and suddenly the room was deathly silent. Everyone was staring at me. Usually I'd feel self conscious but today I was just angry. "Why the hell does it matter to all of you? I'm 19! Not 9!"

"It matters because you're in our care and he's our son!" Beth spoke to me as if I was stupid. "It matters because he's 33 and is going through a divorce. It matters because you were supposed to be looking after MY children." By the time she finished speaking her voice was raised and the anger was spilling out. I didn't understand what she was talking about. The kids had been asleep upstairs. I could feel a lump growing in my throat but I refused to cry.

"OK Beth, that was out of line. We were kissing; not throwing some wild sex orgy! The kids were asleep until you all bust in and started screaming. I'll give you the age one. I was a bit freaked myself at first but as she pointed out, she's 19. She's not a child anymore." Leland was trying to be rational and make everyone calm down. Usually he was good at that sort of thing but he was too angry himself at that point. He hated seeing Kizzy upset and he wanted to protect her but he didn't know how.

"That's the key word though son. Anymore. You've known Kizzy since she was 13! We've treated her like one of our own for nearly 6 years. She should be like a sister to you. What were you thinking?" Dog wasn't angry, he sounded disappointed. I hated the thought of him being disappointed in me but I couldn't change how I felt. I'm not sure I would even if it was possible.

"Uncle Dog, we've never seen each other like that. We were friends since the day we met. We clicked and then everything went down in Mexico and that bitch left." I tried my hardest to tolerate Maui for Leland's sake and their boys but sometimes I can't help myself. "When he came back it was different. He wasn't Leland; your married son with 2 gorgeous kids. We was Leland; the gorgeous, strong and most importantly single guy who has 2 wonderful kids who I adore. I swear to you though that we only took it to the next level about 2 months ago." I wasn't sure why it mattered to me that they knew that but it did. We were still just friends until my 19th birthday. I knew in my head that it didn't matter and we hadn't done anything wrong but my heart still wanted their approval.

"You were only about 16 when they got back. How do you know things were different? How did you know it wasn't just some stupid crush you'd grow out of?" Baby Lyssa questioned. She was one of my best friends and I was praying that she would understand this. Leland was her brother.

"It was different because he was different. Most of his friend stopped calling. He wasn't the fun loving party animal he was when he left. He was more serious, darker if you like." I hated remembering him back then. Most of the team had been chasing Andrew Luster in Mexico when they'd been arrested themselves for false imprisonment. Being in that Mexican prison had changed them all. Uncle Dog, Uncle Tim and Leland had gone through that ordeal. They had shared something horrid but become closer for it.

"Yeah, I remember. They were all like that. They used to make sure they were in half an hour before their curfew and wouldn't leave until half an hour after they were allowed." Lyssa shook her head, trying to dislodge that memory. We didn't talk about those few months usually. It stirred too much up for everyone. Tonight was different though. We needed them to understand what Leland had gone through so that they knew what had brought us closer together.

"It wasn't just that though for me. Dad, you know what they did to me. They would punch me and kick me trying to get a rise out of you. They picked me because I was the littlest guy there; the most feminine. Those cops tortured me and they did it just for fun. I didn't tell anyone what they'd done except for Kizzy. When I was dropping Kizzy off at school or whatever she'd see me at my worst. She saw me keeping my car 10 miles under the speed limit just in case. She saw me refusing to move from a set of lights until the car behind me honked it's horn. She watched my hands shake so bad that I'd have to pull over every time I saw a cop car. I let her see what I thought I had to hide from you guys. I protected you from it all but I let her be my strength. She kept me going so that I could be strong for my boys. I never let them see I was scared and she helped me do it. She helped me support you guys and she never said a word. She kept me sane and she would hold me while I cried. I don't cry but she made it OK."

His voice started to waiver and I instinctively grabbed his hand. Leland had been through so much in Mexico that it had changed him completely. For a long time after they got back he felt like the weak link in the team. Dog had nearly broke in Mexico because of what they put Leland through. He had been as strong as he could and refused to cry or scream when they hit him but it had still broken Dog's heart that he couldn't protect him. At first Leland had fought back but that only made them hit him harder so he just took it in the end. Those 2 weeks had been complete hell for them all but none more so than Leland.

"She's not like other girls her age. She's been through so much and matured so quickly that she's probably wiser than most of us." He smiled at me then and my heart still felt like it skipped a beat. It still amazed me that he can have that effect on me with a simple smile. I thought that might have stopped when people found out about us but obviously not.

"OK, I get it I think. I just don't understand why you hid it for so long. If you didn't think you were doing anything wrong then why hide it from us?" Dog was watching us as he spoke, I still hadn't let go of Leland's hand.

"Isn't that obvious, Uncle? What would have happened if we'd have told you 3 years ago that there was chemistry between us? I can tell you the exact moment I first felt it. It was the day he took me to that Green day gig. He'd bought the tickets for my 16th birthday. We were on our way out afterwards and so he didn't loose me in the crowd he took my hand. Man, the feeling from just that small touch gave me goosebumps. Anyway, you tell me what would have happened if I'd have came home that day and told you that?" I knew I was smiling shyly at Leland when I spoke. I'd never told him that before. I couldn't stop the stupid grin lighting up my face when he mouthed the words 'me too' at me. This man still amazes me even after knowing him for 6 years.

"I don't know but wouldn't it have been better than lying?" Dog spoke but he knew he was lying to himself. He hated judging people but he knew he would have. He would have thought the worst and it must have hurt him a lot to know he would have done that to his own son.

"Don't, dad. Don't lie. You know as well as we do what would have happened. You'd have sent her back to her dad in Colorado with instructions to keep her hidden whenever we were down that way." Leland was smiling but it didn't reach his eyes. I knew that he was hurting and there wasn't anything I could do to make him feel better. It hurt him to know that his family wouldn't have trusted him.

"It's just a lot to take in. I mean, we've left you guys here alone a lot. Have you ever...? I mean, do I have to explain to Bobby Brown that my boy deflowered his girl?" You could tell instantly that Dog was uncomfortable. Everyone else was looking a little uncomfortable with where this conversation was heading too

I couldn't help but laugh. "Deflowered? Seriously Uncle? No, you don't have to tell my dad that lovely phrase. I'm a virgin, OK? Is everyone happy now? Leland hasn't stolen my innocence. We haven't done more than kiss." I tried as hard as I could to keep the disappointment out of voice but I think I failed because Leland had to bite back a laugh. I'd been trying to push that particular issue with him for weeks.

Silence filled the room for a few minutes while everyone tried to get their head around it. I personally I didn't see a problem. I mean 14 and a half years isn't that big of an age gap, is it? And it's not like we were related. Apparently though, judging by the faces around this room there was an issue with it.

"Well, obviously Leland can't stay over here anymore. And he can't visit while we're out either." Beth stated. "You're going to have a curfew from now on while you're over at his too. No funny business in the office either." She was reeling off these rules and my head started to spin. It sounded like she was talking to Cecily rather than me, You'd swear she thought I was about 15.

"No." That one word stopped her in her tracks. "You can't change the rules because you don't like who my boyfriend is. You and Dog agreed, once I was 18, that if it wasn't illegal then we wouldn't have a problem. I don't mind continuing to pull my weight around here and at the office. I don't even mind Leland being banned from coming here while you guys are out but that's it. I'm not a child Auntie and I'm not stupid. How would you react if I told you that you couldn't hold Dog's hand or kiss him at work because it offended me?"

Baby Lyssa and Duane Lee started to laugh and Leland smiled at me. "OK, so how will it work then? You two are a couple, your just having a bit of fun? What about when it ends badly? What do the rest of us do then?" Tim spoke for the first time and he was angry. I couldn't figure out were that anger was coming from. He had been more like a father to me than my own dad and I didn't want him to be upset with me. His opinion means a lot.

"As far as I'm concerned Brah, she's my girl. There is nobody else in my life and there hasn't been for a while. As for what happens when it ends, who says it's going to?" Leland's voice was soft, barely a whisper when he spoke those last few words. Everyone was staring at him now. It was starting to feel like they were watching a game of tennis because of the way their heads kept swinging back and forth.

"OK, house rules. Nothing more than kissing or holding hands here or at the office. Leland, you have no reason to be in her room from now on and if she's staying over you call and let us know." Beth was using her authoritative voice. It shocked me how quickly she had come around to the idea of us. Beth was usually more stubborn than this but I couldn't find a trace of doubt or anger left in her eyes.

"Deal." I smiled at her and she smiled back. Lyssa hugged me but the guys weren't happy. You could tell that they still had more questions. "OK. Let's give the guys some man time while we go and gossip by the pool." Beth and Lyssa followed me without question.

"Dude, are you serious? She's not your type for a start! She's only 4 years older than your son! She's not exactly experienced! Do I need to carry on here?" Duane Lee was still in shock, he needed Leland to explain so he could try and understand. Duane Lee was very protective of Leland especially since they had both split from there wives.

"I'm deadly serious, Man. My type has never worked out before so maybe that's a good thing. As for the age difference between her and Dakota, that's not fair. I was only just 18 when he was born. Besides she's so much older than her age: she's had to grow up quick. The experience thing? Well, in all honesty, that has nothing to do with you!" Leland was angry now. What he and Kizzy did or didn't do was nobody else's business but theirs. "Do you see me asking you guys how many men your girls have been with? Or what you do or don't do in the bedroom? NO! So give my girl the respect she deserves and back the fuck off!"

Duane Lee stared at his little brother completely gob smacked. "You love her." He didn't bother making it a question because he already knew the answer. It was as if all of the tension had been sucked out of the room with those 3 small words.

After that little outburst they talked things through seriously. Leland tried to convince them that he had thought seriously about this. He had. He'd thought about nothing else for months. Dog and Tim still didn't understand but by the end he knew he could rely on Duane Lee.

Out by the pool

"You and my brother? That's just eeeew hun. You couldn't have found someone who I wasn't related to?" Lyssa was only teasing. Now that the shock had worn off she could see how cute they were together and what a good match they were. Leland was about 5 foot 7. Kizzy was barely 5 foot. He had long dark brown hair, dark brown eyes and tanned skin. She had dyed red hair, bright blue eyes and sun kissed skin. He was covered in tattoos. She already had 3. She had her tongue and lip pierced. They both wore cargo pants and vests with big combat boots. They could have been made for each other when you thought about it.

"Sorry Lys, I forgot to consult you before I fell in love. Stupid me." I was laughing but Beth and Lyssa weren't. That's when I realized what I'd just said. It felt good to finally be able to say it and not feel like Leland was my dirty secret.

"Do you love him?" Beth asked the question but I knew they were both thinking it. They were staring at me waiting for me to deny it.

"Yes, I honestly do." I couldn't think of anything else to say to them. I wasn't going to lie to them and say I knew where this was heading or that we'd have a happily ever after. I did love him though and that was enough for now.

"Shit!" They both replied. "Girl, he's still married and he's got kids. Do you want to tie yourself to all that baggage already? I love him like he was my own but that's a lot for anyone to take on, never mind someone so young." Beth's voice was full of pity. She already knew the answer and the heartache that it would cause.

"I haven't got a choice."

The next few days were weird for everyone. It was especially weird for me. I couldn't get used to Leland kissing me in public or holding my hand while we were out passing out mug shots. Whenever he came into my office to see me I kept wanting to run and shut the door so that we wouldn't be caught when he kissed me. I still got butterflies whenever I saw him and my skin tingled when he touched me but now I didn't have to hide it. When he put his hand on my shoulder when he walks past I could cover it with my own. Whenever I felt like I could walk past his desk and kiss him. When we were doing our morning meeting I didn't have to settle for a small brush of his hand, I could take his hand in mine with pride. We didn't feel like it was some dirty secret anymore.

Life was pretty damn good at that point, with one exception. He still wouldn't do more than kiss me. Even when I spent the night at his apartment he just held me while I slept. It was a bizarre situation, surely I should be the one holding out and not him? He was making me feel like I was trying to steal something from him.

One day I snapped. We were in the car on the way to the office after I'd spent the night at his. "Do I repulse you?" The words were out before I could stop myself. He's going to think I'm some stupid kid! Why did I just say that?

"What?" He pulled the car onto the side of the road so that he could look at me. He looked genuinely shocked by what I'd just said.

"Please don't make me repeat myself." I was fighting back the tears and my hands wouldn't stop shaking. I was terrified that I'd just spoiled things between us. I hadn't meant to say it but for some reason I didn't regret it. I'd rather he finished this now before I got too attached; not that I wasn't already.

"You're kidding me, right? Is that honestly what you think?" I couldn't even look at him, never mind speak. He touched his fingers to my chin and forced me to look at his face. His eyes were brimming with tears. "You couldn't be further from the truth! I've never wanted someone as much as I want you. I haven't took us to that next level because I care too much about you. I respect you. That's why. I want us to be together for a long time so I'm not going to rush a single thing. I'm enjoying just being us right now, isn't that enough? Why do you want to rush it?" I was struggling to concentrate because he was rubbing his fingertips back and forth along my chin and cheekbone.

"I don't. I just don't want you to get bored of me." That's when the tears fell and I couldn't stop them, no matter how much I tried. I felt like a silly child at that point. I was embarrassed about sharing these thought with him. He was so experienced and mature that it scared me sometimes. I couldn't compete with that. What could I offer him?

"Are you crazy woman? I've waited for 3 years just to kiss you! Doesn't that prove anything to you?" He wiped away my tears with his thumbs before he carried on. " I'm not going to get bored or go anywhere. We don't have to do anything until we're both really ready. So don't be scared about losing me. You relax and enjoy us." He leaned over and kissed me so tenderly that it brought more tears from me. "Don't cry, Babe, please? I'll have sex with you right now if you'll just stop crying. Please."

I couldn't help but laugh. "I'm crying now because I'm happy not sad. Besides, public highways don't really set the tone for the first time."

He held me for a long time then. I still don't think it had sunk in properly what he'd said. I couldn't understand how someone so amazing would be interested in me.