Disclaimer: I don't own Sly Cooper or any related characters. They are products of Sucker Punch. This story may seem unusual. I dreamed it up when I was thinking about how annoying babies and toddlers could be. (I know. I ate too much chicken.) This is kinda long, but I tried to make it funny. This is my first humor, so be nice or I'll... ( sharpens katana) I'm no the best at comedies, but like I said, this is my first. I'll get better.Please read and review. DemonFox101 saying Peace out, homies!
Babysitting
Bentley was in the hideout working on some new camera machine. It took up half of the hideout. He was expecting Sly and Carmelita to return from their date soon. Sly, after all had just became Robin Hood and stole from criminals and gave it to the rightful owners. He had done it just to be with Carmelita.
"He must really love her." Bentley thought as he adjusted a bolt on the side of the giant camera machine thing.
A knock came at the door. The turtle knew who it was.
"It's open Sly!" He hollered through the door.
Sly walked in and following him was Carmelita who had his hand in one and a bouquet of roses in the other.
Sly pulled her close. Then he hit his head on Bentley's contraption.
"What's this thing?" Sly asked as he rubbed the back of his head.
"It's a camera." Bentley stated proudly.
" This huge thing is camera?" Carmelita asked wide-eyed.
" Well, not actually. It can do other things." Bentley replied.
"Like what?" Sly asked.
" It serves tennis balls." He replied.
" I don't play tennis." Sly replied flatly.
" Me neither." Carmelita added.
"Okay....it also slices up vegetable." Bentley continued.
"We can do that." Carmelita replied.
" Oh alright! So it's useless!" Bentley yelled angrily. "I was bored!"
" Well, can ya take our picture." Sly asked as he tugged Carmelita in front of the machine.
" Well okay, let's see..." Bentley started. "I tweak this wire, screw this bolt, and... OKAY!" Bentley finished as he made a few adjustments. " Pose like ya love each other (like that's hard to do.)
"Stop Sly!" Carmelita laughed as he kissed her neck repeatedly. The two the posed. Sly had his arms around Carmelita's stomach. Carmelita stood in front, her hands holding Sly's.
" Smile." Bentley commanded as he press a large red button on the side of the machine. He expected a flash of light to take a picture. Instead, a green beam shot out and shocked Sly and Carmelita.
" What's this?" Sly hollered.
" Yipe!" Carmelita hollered. " I feel funny."
A second later both the racoon and fox disappeared. Only their clothes remained and were lying in a heap on the floor.
"Oops." Bentley mumbled.
Something under the piles of clothes moved. A small "goo" came from under the clothes.
"What was that?" Bentley asked himself. He crept closer to the clothes. Another "goo" came from under the clothes This one sounded like a little girl's.
Bentley crept closer to the clothes. A baby racoon poked it's head out of Sly's shirt collar. A baby fox poked her head out of Carmelita's jacket sleeve. They looked at Bentley and squealed happily.
" Uh oh." Bentley mumbled.
The two toddlers crawled over to Bentley and clung to his leg. The racoon bit him.
" OW!" Bentley yelped as he jerked his foot away. " Must be teething.
To make matters worse, Murray arrived at that moment from Kentucky Fried Chicken. He walked in and saw Bentley hopping around rubbing his knee. He looked at the machine and then at the two babies watching Bentley and laughing loudly.
" Hey Bentley, where'd the babies come from?" Murray asked.
" My machine went haywire and turned Sly and Carmelita into toddlers." Bentley told him as he regained his composure.
"Uh oh. How do we get 'em back?" Murray asked as he looked at the two babies. Carmelita squealed and crawled over to him and tugged on his leg wanting something to eat.
" What's she doing?" Murray asked.
"She smells the chicken. She wants some." Bentley replied with a chuckle.
" Okay. Hey little thing, here ya go." Murray said as he knelt down to give the baby a chicken leg. The girl squealed in delight and took the chicken leg in her hand. She studied it a moment and then threw at Murray's face. She began to cry. This caused Sly to go along with the crying spell.
" What's wrong with them?" Murray asked as he dropped his chicken to cover his ears.
" You can't feed them solid food. Stupid!" Bentley screamed over the babies crying.
" Okay so I know nothing about babies. Do you?" Murray replied.
" No." Bentley said.
" Well, can ya fix these two?" he asked patting Sly's head. Sly grabbed his hand and bit it. Murray jerked away and Sly resumed crying.
" Not now, but maybe if I have some time to study my machine and reverse the process..." Bentley replied, ignoring the babies.
" Well, I can't watch 'em all day. I don't know anything about babies." Murray complained.
" But I know who will watch them." Bentley said. " I'll make the call now.
Meanwhile in the suburbs of Paris, DemonFox and his friends, D3fan and CooperPrincess91 were renting a house. I was okay, but had major plumbing problems.
The phone rang. CooperPrincess91 answered the phone.
" Who the hell would call us?" Asked DemonFox, still (as always) in his fox form.
" I don't know. Caller ID says unknown." CooperPrincess replied as she picked it up.
" Hey guys, toilets overflowing again and mutant piranha are spawning in it!" D3fan said as he ran into the room soaking wet with a plunger.
" Not again!" Cried DemonFox as he pulled out his katana. " C'mon, let's fix those piranha"
DemonFox and D3fan left to kill the piranha and fix the toilet.
" Okay. See ya then, Bentley." CooperPrincess said as she hung up to tell the guys who was on the phone. A few minutes later DemonFox and D3fan appeared, soaking wet and with green mutant blood on their clothes.
" Man, stupid house rental guy!" DemonFox complained.
" Yeah, no wonder no one else was renting this place." D3fan said.
" I knew we shouldn't have rented a house from that rat! Literally, he was a rat!" Complained DemonFox.
" It was your idea." D3fan said.
"Was not it was yours!" DemonFox retorted.
"Was not, it was yours!" D3fan shot back.
"Yours"
"yours."
"Yours."
"Yours."
CooperPrincess listened to the two for a few minutes.
" Hey, listen up guys!" She yelled.
" DemonFox and D3fan looked up from the head locks they had each other in.
" Bentley just called and said he wanted us to watch a couple of things for him for a while." She told them.
"SO??" DemonFox asked.
" Does this face look like it cares?" D3fan shot as he and DemonFox resumed arguing.
"Good lord, you two have skulls as thick as brick walls." She mumbled as she got up to go and wait on the porch for Bentley to arrive. It didn't take long. Murray drove the fan to the house quickly, but when the van came into her line of view, it ran over a heard of ducks, hit a deer, and ran over some bulldog running from the cops. (Oh wait, that'd be Muggshot.)
The van then came to a complete stop after it knocked down the gangs mail box and ran into an oak tree in the front yard.
DemonFox and D3fan came outside to see what all the ruckus was about.
Murray and Bentley walked up with what appeared to be a couple of babies.
" Hey guys, how are yun's doing?" CooperPrincess greeted them.
" What's up?" asked D3fan with a bloody nose.
"How's it hangin'?" DemonFox asked with a smile that was missing 3 teeth.
"Fine. Uh say, can you watch these two for today." Murray said as he showed them the babies he was carrying. They were both chewing on his fingers.
"Awwww! How cute!" CooperPrincess exclaimed as she took the baby girl fox in her arms. The baby squealed in delight and buried her head in CooperPrincess's neck.
" Great. Just what we need." Mumbled DemonFox as he took the racoon in his arms. The baby stared at him at moment, and them bit his nose.
"OW! Will you take him, please?" DemonFox asked D3fan.
"D3fan took the child and handed it to CooperPrincess. The two guys went back in to find a book on babies, complaining about how annoying babies could be.
"Did Sly and Carmelita have kids?" asked CooperPrincess.
" No. Bentley here accidentally turned them into babies. Those are Sly and Carmelita." Murray replied as he rubbed his fingers.
" Not to worry though." Bentley reassured her. " I'll fix my machine to get them back to as they were.
" Okay then, just call when you figure it out." CooperPrincess waved as they departed back to the hideout.
She took the two babies inside and sat them on the table in the kitchen. They really did look like Sly and Carmelita now that they had all their normal garb on. Bentley must shrunk it.
"Hey there, how you doing little thing?" CooperPrincess cooed in the two Babies direction The babies just stared at her and cocked their heads.
DemonFox and D3fan soon returned with a baby book.
They stared at the babies. The babies stared back innocently and began to suck on their tails.
"Okay...what do we do?" asked D3fan.
"Uh... let's see. It says here that babies like to have their diaper changed." DemonFox said as he read from the book.
CooperPrincess rolled her eyes and slapped the back of his head.
"Not all the time! Just when they've had an accident." She said.
"Dadda!" Carmelita squealed as she crawled in DemonFox's direction.
"Uh oh..." Mumbled DemonFox.
"Ha ha!" D3fan laughed. "She thinks you're her dad."
" Why me?" whined DemonFox.
"Because you're a fox." CooperPrincess observed.
DemonFox looked at himself and groaned.
"Give me the book. I'll take the girl and you two watch the boy." DemonFox sighed. He started to pick up Carmelita but Sly began crying.
"What's wrong with him?!" DemonFox cried hysterically.
"She wants her playmate." CooperPrincess told him.
DemonFox quickly sat Carmelita down next Sly . He hugged her. Sly grabbed her tail and began to chew on it. Carmelita squealed in surprise and cried as she grabbed her tail and took it stubbornly from Sly. Sly reached fro it and seeing that she wouldn't let him chew on it began to cry.
" Make 'em stop!" D3fan whined.
"Wait! I've got it!" DemonFox exclaimed as he snapped his fingers.
"I hope so!" CooperPrincess complained.
DemonFox went to his trunk and through out a pair of polka dotted boxer shorts, a playboy magazine, a couple of katanas, a ski mask, another playboy magazine, and a two-week old newspaper. He finally found a couple of pacifiers that he kept for emergency's. He quickly returned ran back into the kitchen and shoved the pacifiers in the babies mouth. They immediately quit crying.
"Why do you carry around pacifiers?" Asked D3fan.
" I don't know." DemonFox replied.
"Well, at least they stopped crying." CooperPrincess sighed in relief. Then Sly spit out his pacifier and began to bawl.
What now?" Whined D3fan.
CooperPrincess, knowing more about babies than the two guys, tugged Sly's diaper a little to the side and sighed.
"He needs changing." She stated. "Who's gonna change it?"
D3fan and DemonFox looked at each other and backed down.
"No way. It's dangerous to change a boy diaper." DemonFox stated.
"How so?" Asked CooperPrincess agitated.
" There's no way you can get sprayed with ..." D3fan started.
"Okay! I get it!" CooperPrincess stopped him. "I'll do it. Watch Carmelita."
"But she'll start crying if Sly ain't here." Whined DemonFox.
"So, I guess you'll have to keep her company won't ya Dadda?" D3fan said jokily.
"Hey, I'm more popular around here than you are." DemonFox snapped.
"Fine then, If I ain't wanted, I'll leave!" D3fan declared as he marched out of the house and went to a bar.
"Forget 'em. Ain't that right little thang?" DemonFox said to Carmelita. Carmelita pointed toward her mouth, gooing each time she pointed.
" Hungry, are ya?" DemonFox Laughed. " Hold on a second." He sat Carmelita down in a chair and got out some boneless chicken and sat it on the table. He proceeded to then chop the chicken into mush in a matter of seconds with his katana. Carmelita squealed in delight as she watched the show. DemonFox scooped the glop into a bowl. He proceeded to then spoon the food into Carmelita's mouth. She accepted the food and when he finished CooperPrincess walked in carrying Sly and her face was dripping wet.
" Did he..." DemonFox started to laugh.
"Don't you dare ask." CooperPrincess threatened.
"Sorry. Hey, I think I'm startin' to like little missy her." DemonFox said as he bounce Carmelita on his knee. She squealed as she saw Sly. He sat her on the floor. She crawled over to him and giggled. Sly returned her playful giggle. CooperPrincess tossed the couple a small ball at them. They began rolling the ball back and forth.
"Where'd D3 go?" CooperPrincess asked.
"He got mad and went to a bar." DemonFox replied.
" Hm." CooperPrincess sighed. A ring came to the telephone. CooperPrincess answered it. A minute later she hung up.
"Bentley's fixed the machine. Their coming to get the two little ones.
Soon Murray and Bentley arrived and took Sly and Carmelita. Sly didn't resist, but Carmelita clung to DemonFox, so He and CooperPrincess had to the hideout until Sly and Carmelita were back to normal. Sly broke out some beer and then they all had a party, Sly and Carmelita never knew what happened. Unfortunately, D3fan showed up with a katana, so he and DemonFox had to duel. CooperPrincess reffed and took them home after they knocked each other out.
"Boy's will be boys." She commented.
"Got that right." Carmelita added.
The End