The Curious Incident with the Dick in the Night

"Harry what are you doing here?"

"I killed Ron. That ginger piece of shit had it comming."

"OMG, that is so KAWAIIII now we can be together!"

"I know I am so happy. Erictio," harry pointed the wand at hisst. loins which soon turned into a fine looking brawwurst.

"Harry I didn't know you were from Germany!" Said Hermione, impressed by the multi-cultural meat package infront of her. She felt her own never-yaya fill will sweet salty milk.

"Ya. Er is ein wizard,"

"More filthy words, you magical German steed!" Harry neighed in compliance, "that's it you filthy boy, I want to ride you into battle."

"I only wish Ron was here to enjoy this magical moment with us!"

"Yea, I wondered what happened to him," Said Harry slyly, although secretly he knew he had killed him.

"Harry why is your erection melting?"

"When you cast erectio, it turns into real sasuage."

"Sasuage's don't melt!"

"WIZARD SASUAGES DO!" Sometimes Harry really wanted to slap that know-it-all bitch in the face! But he didn't coz hitting bitches is wrong.

(10 minutes later!)

"OH ARRR HARRYYY!"

"HAGRID WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE, I'M TRYING TO MAKE SWEET WIZARD LOVE TO HERMY-ONI..how the fuck do you say your name," Harry had forgotten for he was drunk (on love).

"I don't know, I am a woman." Replied Hermione intelligently.

"Harry, I was wondering where you wanted me to bury Ron. I know that ginger cunt had it coming, but our body sheds all filled up. Miss Norris took the last bit of space I'm afraid."

Harry pulled out of Hermione and contemplated. "HMMM!" He said aloud. "Hagrid put him in the spice cupboard and send him to Miss Weasly."

"Ohhh that's mighty kind of you MR Harry," (harry was called MR because he had just become minister of magic, after killing ron. "I kno how poor they are so it will be lovely for them to have something to eat. I just hope they can wash the ginger out of his hair first."

Harry got board of Hagrid at this point so he decided to kill him.

"Killio." He SCREAMED and Hagrid died. Hermione was a bit upset at first but then she realised that it made harry a dark and mysterious bad boy so she didn't really mind.

"I don't feel like have sex anymore SCREAMED harry."

"OH NO WHY IS THAT," WEPT HER-MI-ONIEY.

"BECOZ I'm GAY!"

"With me."

…it was draco malfoy's evil twin. Rodrigeuz.

REVEIEW BUT ONLY IF YOU AINT GONNA FLAME, COZ I WORKED RELLY HARD ON THIS AND UTS NOT LIKE YOU CUD DO ANY BETTA.