So, this is just to put you all back into context of The Reichenbach Fall ending. So if you pretty much know it by heart you can just skip to the next chapter, it's pretty much up to you J The end of this episode had me crying, I have to admit! This is my first Sherlock fic, tell me what you think, advice, suggestions I'm really open to everything :) Enjoy
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"John".
"Hey! Sherlock are you okay?"
"Turn around and walk back where you came from."
"No I'm coming in."
"Just do as I ask! Please." Something's wrong. Please… Sherlock would never say such a thing…
"Where?"
"Stop there."
"Sherlock?"
"Look now I'm on the roof top."
"Oh god…" I really didn't like how this was starting off. Some experiment of some sort I guess, testing my limits again.
"I..I.. I can't come down, so we… we'll just have to do it like this…" Okay, this is definitely not an experiment. What is IT he is talking about? Sherlock is no ordinary man, I know what I'm thinking right now can't apply to him. I hope not…
"What's going on?"
"An apology… It's all true."
"What ?"
"Everything they said about me. I… invented Moriarty." For God's sake, invented Moriarty. How could he even think that I would believe this? Especially after Jim Moriarty himself threatened to kill me wrapping me in a bomb vest! Faking to be an actor, it was ridiculous.
"Why are you saying this?"
"I'm a fake."
"Sherlock."
"The newspapers were right all along. I want you to tell Lestrade … I want you to tell Mrs. Hudson, and Molly. In fact, tell anyone who will listen to you. That I created Moriarty. For my own purposes." Why was he saying this? He could tell them himself. This can't be happening right now can it…? Not Sherlock.
"Okay shut up Sherlock, shut up. The first time we met. The first time we met, you knew all about my sister, right…"
"Nobody can be that clever."
"You could." He's laughing. Why is he laughing? Wait no… What? Crying? Sherlock Holmes is crying…
"I researched you. Before we met I discovered everything that I could to impress you. It's a trick, just a magic trick." How could he even research me? It's impossible.
"No. Alright, stop it now!" I exclaimed running towards the building. I had to get to him. I didn't want him to do anything he'd regret. I just didn't think he would be this affected by what the newspapers said, I had to help him.
"No stay EXACTLY where you are! Don't move."
"Alright…" I said backing up. I didn't want to do any sudden movements, who knew what could happen…
"Keep your eyes fixed on ME. Please will you do this for me?"
"Do what?" I didn't really want to know the answer; I kind of had in mind what it would be. But I asked anyway…
"This phone call it's umm. It's my note. It's what people do don't they? Leave a note…"
"Leave a note when?" Maybe if I got him to explain he wasn't going to go through this, please…
"Goodbye John." He threw the phone. This can't be happening.
"No…." I was shaking my head. "Don't…". He didn't hear me. He jumped. Falling from the top of the hospital roof… "SHERLOOCCCKKKK!"
I can't hear anything anymore. I run towards him as fast as my mind lets me. A bike hits me. I fall. Get up again Blood, everywhere…There are too many people around. Sherlock… Sherlock. I want him to hear me. I want this to end right now.
"I'm a doctor, let me come through. Let me come through please, let me, he's my friend." I can't stop my voice from shaking. "He's my friend please…" They keep me from moving towards him. I take his wrist, his pulse. His hand falls back. He's dead. "Please please…" I can't stand anymore. "Sherlock…" his hair soaked with blood." God no…"
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Funny how on our worst days, the temperature can just amplify things. Rain. Just to keep the tears coming as soon as they start fading. Just like God was laughing to our face. Oh, sure this is really funny. Just not for me.
I think others noticed. That's why I'm here. It's only been a week and they are already telling me to visit my therapist, Ella Thompson. Not like it would change anything really, but it would ease their minds.
"Why today?" She asks after a moment of silence I was obviously not going to break.
"You want me to say it." Good deduction Watson! I could just imagine Sherlock criticising my lack of deduction as always. I already miss it.
"18 months since our last appointment." Wow. She's not bad herself; she knows how to count up to 18. Had it been so short? Had I not known Sherlock any longer? Who would've believed, after I stopped coming here thanks to him, that he would be the one to bring me back to starting point. Only it was much worse now. I couldn't stop hearing everything he would say.
"You read the papers?" You know, those ironic newspapers. The Sun it's called. And in first page: "Suicide of a fake genius. Fraudulent detective takes his own life." Why do people even care. They didn't know him, they just knew his skills, that's it.
"Sometimes…"
"And you watch telly? You know why I'm here… I'm here because…" She knows. I might not be him, but I'm not an imbecile either.
"What happened John?" How could she be so calm? I just want to scream my head off! I want to cry, I want people to know that Sherlock was, although being the most annoying flatmate, the best man and friend I ever got to know.
"- Sher…"
"You need to get it out."
"My best friend, Sherlock Holmes. He's dead." This seemed a nicer way to put it. I mean, pretty much anything is better than saying that I watched the detective throw himself down a building without doing anything to stop it just to end up seeing a bloody body on the sidewalk.
"The stuff that you wanted to say, and didn't say it…"
"Yeah…"
"Say it now."
"No… I'm sorry, I can't." She wouldn't want to hear any of it. It's just her job. I don't want to tell her how I feel. Hell, I don't even know how I feel right now.
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Mrs. Hudson is talking to me. She's asking about Sherlock's experimenting materials. Would you? She started asking, but I knew where this was going and I couldn't.
"I can't go back to the flat again. Not for the moment. I'm angry." That's it. Anger. Feels good to say it.
"It's ok John, there's nothing unusual in that, that's the way he made everyone feel."
"Those marks on my table and the noise, firing gun shots at one in the morning. Bloody specimens in my fridge. imagine ! Keeping bodies with his food!" and she kept going on. She would've kept going on. But she was just upsetting herself more and more, so I stopped her.
"It's ok… I'm not actually that angry ok…" I was that angry actually. But she didn't need to know.
"Ok, I'll leave you alone to… you know." Yes, I do. To grieve in silence. To cry for a dead man who probably would be laughing at me for caring so much. Deep down I know this isn't true, I know I was his friend. I know he didn't show it all the time, but he was Sherlock after all. But I can't keep myself from telling myself that if he really did… care, he wouldn't have done it. Didn't I mean anything at all to him? Couldn't he trust me enough to talk about whatever it is that pushed him to do it? After all we've been through I can't believe he wouldn't even trust me!
"Umm… Hmm.. You… You told me once, that you weren't a hero. Hum… there were times I didn't even think you were a human, but let me tell you this. You were…the best man, and the most human… human being, that I've ever known and that no one will ever convince me that you told me a lie and so… There." This felt kind of awkward, but I somehow just wished that if I said it out loud he would hear me. And for some reason, I felt the need to touch the gravestone, as if it gave me some kind of connection to him.
"I was, so alone… and I owe you so much. Hopefully. There's just one more thing… One more thing. One more miracle Sherlock for me. Don't. Be… Dead… Would you do that just for me. Just stop it, Stop this…" I couldn't get out another word. I was silently sobbing.
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So… done with the recap! Now let the story begin. As I said, first Serlock fic, 2nd fanfic ever so I'd love to have comments on my writing. And I'm very sorry if there are any mistakes, my first language is French so.. J