Disclaimer: This is the twelfth story in The Songs of EO. It's post season nine, and the song used is Someone's Watching Over Me, by Hilary Duff. El's dead, and Olivia is finally getting over it. Anything that is someone else's isn't mine.
Someone's Watching Over Me
By Julia
I found myself today
Oh I found myself and ran away
But something pulled me back,
a voice of reason I forgot I had
All I know is you're not here to say
What you always used to say
But it's written in the sky tonight
So I won't give up
No I won't break down
Sooner than it seems life turns around
And I will be strong even if it all goes wrong
When I'm standing in the dark I'll still believe
someone's watching over me
It was two months after it had happened. Olivia Benson Stabler awoke, the sun shining way too brightly. She slowly got out of the bed that was too big now and shuffled to the kitchen. It was the first time she'd been out of bed in the entire two months. Her husband, Elliot, had been on his way home from work when he had been hit by another car. That had seemed so wrong to her. He didn't die a heroic cop's death, he got killed by someone running a red light. Everytime she thought about it, it made her really angry. It just wasn't fair.
She got out the coffee maker and pushed dirty hair out of her face. She was finally feeling like herself again. El's boxer shorts were hanging very loosely on her hips. She'd probably lost some weight. Her best friend Casey Novak had come over a few times a week to make sure that she had eaten, but that was about the only time she had.
She had only showered once or twice a week, and that was usually because Casey had made her. She was really glad that she had Casey. Case had her own stuff going on, but she was still taking time to make sure that Liv was OK.
The doorbell rang, and she went to get it. She checked to see who it was, a habit now. It was Fin Tutuola. She opened the door and stepped back to let him in. She was glad that she was decent. These days, that meant just being clothed. ''Hi, Fin.'' She said.
Fin wasn't sure what to do or say. He and Elliot hadn't been speaking before it had happened. He hadn't gotten his transfer, so it had been a rough time before Elliot had been killed. He clasped his hands behind his back to have something to do. ''How you doin', Liv?'' He finally found the courage to ask.
Olivia shrugged and checked the coffee maker. ''Today's the first day I got out of bed without being coerced by Casey.'' She said, wishing he wasn't so tense.
Fin said, ''Look, Liv, I'm sorry that I haven't been to see you yet. I've been feeling guilty for having fought with Elliot. I also wasn't really sure what to say to you.''
Olivia looked at him. ''Fin, it's OK. I know that you care. Trust me, I just spent the last two months wallowing. I wasn't really thinking about any of you. We're fine.''
Fin said, ''I just miss him, Liv. Once he was gone, the fight just seemed so crazy.''
Olivia said, ''I miss him, too. But today, when I got up, I realized how lost I had been.'' She paused a moment, her eyes filling with tears. ''And usually, when I'm this lost, Elliot always used to find me. I thought I was all alone because he's not here. But I heard him, Fin. I heard his voice, telling me I could do this. He was calling me Livvy.'' She paused again to cry, and then said, ''That's when I realized I'd be OK. Because he's up there, keeping watch over me.''
I've seen that ray of light
and it's shining on my destiny
Shining all the time
And I won't be afraid to follow
everywhere it's taking me
all I know is yesterday is gone
and right now I belong to this moment,
to my dreams
So I won't give up,
No I won't break down
Sooner that it seems life turns around
And I will be strong, even if it all goes wrong
When I'm standing in the dark I'll still believe
someone's watching over me
Fin had coffee with her and then he left. She stood in what was now her kitchen instead of theirs and tried not to cry. She truly was feeling better. She still felt like her world would all fall apart again, but she could do this. El was watching over her. As long as she kept thinking that way, it'd be cool. She could do it.
She got showered and did her hair, staring at herself in the mirror, fingering her wedding ring. Alone. It felt odd. She'd been married to the man of her dreams, and now she was alone again. It was so depressing.
She went into work, where everyone was really supportive. Cragen talked to her, making sure she was cool to work. She was. She just had to believe she could do it without him. Time would tell. In the meantime, he was up there, watching. She just kept telling herself that, like Julia Roberts had to keep telling herself to marry that Bob guy in that movie, Runaway Bride. For the first time since it happened, Liv thought she might be able to want to live. It was a good feeling.
It doesn't matter what people say
It doesn't matter how long it takes
Believe in yourself and you'll find
It only matters how true you are
be true to yourself and follow your heart
So I won't give up,
No I won't break down
Sooner that it seems life turns around
And I will be strong, even if it all goes wrong
When I'm standing in the dark I'll still believe
someone's watching over me
Someone's watching over me
Author's note: Season 7 out next month, YAY!! Can't wait! The cuteness that is EO!! Anyway, I think the next song'll be You & Me, by Lifehouse. Shoot a review! I think the next one after that will be My Last Breath or Taking Over Me. Evanesence just has so many EO songs. Lol.