Hi guys, this is my first GOT fic and it's totally a Braime fic (I ship them A LOT). It takes place immediately after the bear scene in 3x07. English is not my first language so be kind! Please review and let me know if you like it! Thank you.
He tried to ignore the way she was affecting him lately, the way every single word coming from her mouth was a challenging, a new purpose to achieve somehow. He had tried to deny to himself how he felt changed, even in the smallest things. He was used to be loved despite his flaws, his excesses.. he was a Lannister, as if had always been a justification. Brienne was different. If it's true that a human only needs five minutes to like or dislike another person, they were the biggest exception. He had despised her from the beginning and now he felt as if his life totally depended on her. He didn't know what kind of feelings he felt for her, or maybe he wasn't ready to know it; he just felt a strange urge to save her.. everyone needs to be saved, even Brienne of Tarth or maybe he was just the usual selfish because he knew deep inside that saving her meant, most of all, saving himself. He found her near the creek, upset due to the unbelievable encounter they had just shared. She was trying to clean her wounds, careful not to show any kind of discomfort, because Brienne of Tarth couldn't allow to herself that kind of weakness.
"Does it hurt?" He asked, approaching her.
"You scared me." She said harshly. "No, it doesn't. It stings.. just a little." She replied, lowering her gaze. Jamie almost smiled to himself, he knew she would have never admitted something could hurt her, and it wasn't for her amazing pride or stubbornness, it was more like a way of being, her way of being, so irreproachable, genuine and intense; no one could worry about Brienne of Tarth, it wondered if someone had ever worried about her and he felt a privileged somehow.
He did worry about her.
"Why did you come back?" She asked him, interrupting his thoughts.
He contemplated his answers searching for the less dangerous, "it was the right thing to do." He said at the end.
"And since when you care about what's right and what's wrong?" She asked fiercely.
Since the day I met you. The answer came immediately in his mind, but he just lowered his gaze, trying to hide his emotions, too vivid lately.
"What they did to you?" He asked then, trying to regain the control of the conversation, like there was an infinite battle between them.
"They made me fight against a bear, I thought it was quite clear, wasn't it?" She said, a hint of irritation and eagerness in her voice.
"I meant before." He clarified with the same irritation.
"Nothing." She said, and then, feeling the surprise in his eyes, added. "They didn't rape me if that's what you want to know."
"Why?" He asked immediately.
She took her time to reply to him, still trying to clean her scratch without really succeeding. "They tried to rape me.. they took me in a barn, a dirty barn.. the six of them or maybe more, I can't remember.. they started to undress me, even if undress in not really the word. They ripped that dress off me until when I was naked in front of them.. and in that moment, I could see the lust in their eyes becoming disgust. They looked at each other, and laughed, aloud, pointing at my skin covered in bruises , at my body flat and masculine. "You're too ugly to be fucked." One of them screamed at me.. I can still hear their laughs. They started to spit at me, in turn, on my body, on my face, I could feel them everywhere.. they threw mud at me and everything they had around.. but no, they didn't rape me at the end. I should thank my ugliness for once, after all." She had told him the whole story, almost without breathing, not a hint of pain of sufferance in her voice, she sounded empty inside. But Jaime had learnt to know her, he had learnt to lose himself in those eyes, so icy but totally translucent to him, pools of sorrow that spoke instead of her voice.
"They're fucking idiots." He said at the end, trying to calm the rage that her words had provoked inside of him.
"You called me beast the first time you saw me.. and what else, then? Boring as ugly?" She snapped back.
"I've never denied to be an idiot, and I was trying to hurt you." He tried to justify himself.
"You didn't. I didn't care about anything coming out from your mouth." She replied fiercely.
"Didn't?" He teased her, noticing her speaking at the past.
It was her turn to lower her gaze, trying to hide her blushing that he had learnt to recognize. It was their favorite game lately, who embarrassed the other first, it was their gentle battle.
"You're not that good at that." He said amused, pointing at the cloth in her hand.
"I hate this crap." She snapped back.
He chuckled, approaching her and taking the cloth from her hand. "What are you doing?" She asked immediately, a hint of panic in her eyes.
"Let me." He told her, trying to adjust with difficulty the piece of cloth in his left hand. He passed it on her body, just upon the neckline of her dress; his fingers lingered on her skin, making slow circles, more to satisfy his urge to touch her than to comfort her. Their gazes met once and they kept the eye contact for some seconds, enjoying the mutual warmth. "You should let Qyburn take care of it." Jamie said, his eyes on her bloody scratch.
"No way." She answered immediately, "I won't let him touch me."
"You're letting me." He said tentatively.
"I trust you." She said, almost whispering. And he felt it, that accelerated beating of his heart, that mix of sensations only Brienne of Tarth could give him.
"What will happen to me once in King's Landing?" She asked him, more curious than scared.
"Nothing will happen to you, you're not under anyone's service, you're free, you will be free-"
"Even to protect Lady Catelyn's daughters?" She interrupted him.
"You will." He told her.
"What about your sister?" She said and he could almost hear a hint of pain in her voice. He realized he had never spent so much time without thinking of Cersei, even his dreams were different lately, confused like he was. "I won't let anyone hurt you." He reassured her.. "I.. I won't let her hurt you." He added then, meeting her obstinate gaze once again.
"I believe you." She said then, and he tried to ignore the shivers invading his body. He was about to walk away, preparing himself for the journey to King's Landing but he felt like there was something else to add.
"You're not." He said abruptly.
"What?" She asked confused.
"You are not ugly." He said, articulating each word but without being able to keep her gaze.
She sighed, "there's no need to tell me th-"
"Shut up." He interrupted her, with more sweetness than anger in his voice. "You are not ugly, and in the future, if someone, I don't care who, will ask me why the isle of Tarth is called the sapphires isle, I will tell them it's for the eyes of its maiden." He could almost feel the emotions exploding inside her, the light tears swimming in her eyes, without cascading though, because Brienne of Tarth didn't cry, not in front of a man at least. He touched her cheek for the first time and he swore he felt her leaning on his touch. "Are you ready to leave?" He asked her, his hand still on her cheek.
She nodded, covering his hand with her own. "Thank you for saving me.. again, Ser Jaime."
"Anytime, Lady Brienne."
And he was quite sure to have seen a hint smile on her face.