Starving for Affection

by BookwormFangirl3712

There was something wrong with Nico, and hell if Percy was going to turn his back on him now. (TRIGGER WARNING: Don't read if you're triggered by things associated with ed's/selfharm)

1. Starving For Affection

Notes: Okay soo I really suck at summaries. I dunno what possessed me to write this fic, but anorexic Nico is just a headcanon I've had for a reallyyyy long time and no one else seemed to have it so idk this happened? I really didn't mean for this fic to turn out like it did, but I worked really hard on this and I guess I'm happy with the final result.

Biggest thanks ever to my best friend and fellow writer Naz Carstairs, who beta'd this for me.

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There was something wrong with Nico.

Percy hadn't seen much of the son of Hades since the final battle against the earth goddess and her ranks, and Jason had informed him, somewhat irritated, that Nico had left because he was tired of feeling like an outcast. Usually Jason was pretty easygoing with Percy, but when he'd said that, his tone sounded more than a little bit accusatory. After that, people rarely spoke of the son of Hades. Percy even began to forget about him unless he was recounting the different wars he'd fought alongside the other boy, at which point Nico would cross his mind fleetingly with the question 'I wonder where he went'. So he didn't expect to trip over the boy on his way out to see Annabeth three years later.
Initially, Percy barely recognized him, but upon closer inspection, there was no denying it. Same sharp features, same black hair, same skull ring and bomber jacket even, although the latter seemed to at least have become more worn over the years. There was a note written in cursive tucked inside of Nico's jacket that read:

'Help him.
-Persephone'

Gee, that was helpful. What the Zeus was he supposed to help the kid with, anyways? He looked exactly the same as Percy remembered him, only taller and possibly more mature. He'd also grown more pale, probably owed to his time in the Underworld, and his cheekbones and jaw were sharp as a knife, giving him a fiercer look than he'd had as a kid. Mentally, Percy debated what he should do. He could just leave Nico here, or take him to some park or something so when he woke up he wouldn't even know he'd been at Percy's. He could even take him to camp, Percy supposed. He'd never been all too close to the kid, but he remembered that as much as Nico hadn't liked camp, he always seemed to like Percy less, so he probably wouldn't want to wake up to the son of Poseidon. Then again, why would Persephone drop the son of Hades off on Percy's doorstep in the first place? He decided on just taking the guy to camp and telling Chiron to watch over him until he woke up, but then Percy thought of all the times Nico had saved his ass and not even asked for anything in return and sighed, because he owed the boy this much. Defeated, he leaned down and picked Nico up, carrying the light weighted demigod bridal style into his apartment and laying the son of Hades down on the couch. He left the room to call Annabeth and apologize, telling her he couldn't make it and he'd explain later. When he returned to the living room, the TV was on. Nico had shifted his position such that now he was lying on his side instead of his back, and he was watching Tom and Jerry, the light from the tv bathing him in a blue hue. His eyes followed Percy as the son of Poseidon crossed the room to sit across from him on a recliner his mom and Paul had gotten him as a housewarming gift. The son of Hades sat up, and Percy noticed that his arms shook like crazy as he used them to lift himself up off the couch, as if they would topple under the weight at any second. The memory of holding the world up on his shoulders flashed into his mind, but he shoved it aside and pretended not to notice the other boy. Nico refused to look at him.

"How'd I wind up here?" He asked, his voice flat and defeated, and just hearing that made Percy realize he was wrong. The boy had changed a lot since Percy had last seen him.

He'd become broken.

Percy gaped at him a little bit before Nico's eyes darted to him, annoyed, and somewhere in the back of Percy's mind a part of him, that sounded suspiciously like Annabeth, said 'Close your mouth, seaweed brain'. He shut it, his teeth clicking together, before remembering that he had been asked a question.

"Uh, I found you on my doorstep." He said, ever intelligent and smooth.

Nico's head dropped and he gripped the arm rest tightly, his knuckles paling as he attempted to lift himself off the couch. Percy watched, for a second, before he jumped up and eased Nico back down. Oh Gods, it wasn't even a struggle. As soon as Percy began to gently lower the boy back onto the couch by his shoulders, the son of Hades collapsed. Persephone was right. Nico really needed help.

"I, uh. I should probably get going." Nico said quietly, his eyes downcast. He seemed ashamed that he hadn't been able to fight Percy's protests better, and honestly, the fact that he couldn't frightened Percy. Demigods couldn't afford to be so weak, especially one such as a Son of Hades.

"Why, it's not as if you have somewhere else to be." Percy said, and when Nico's shoulders slumped further, he realized he may have worded that a bit too harshly.

"I meant-when was the last time I saw you, Nico? And you're just going to rush out? Can't you stay a little?"

Nico lifted his head, his eyes like a caged animal's.

"Uh..." Percy gave him a pleading face, which he knew was exploiting the situation, (he could even get Jason to do him favors if he pulled that face on him) and Nico sighed, falling back against the couch.

"Fine."

Percy smiled in a way he hoped looked encouraging and started towards the kitchen. He'd made plans to have dinner with Annabeth, but now that that was off he realized he was getting hungry. "You want anything to eat?" he asked Nico, and when he didn't receive an answer, he turned, eyebrow raised, to the boy on his couch. Nico had paled considerably, shaking his head violently. Percy's eyebrows furrowed.

"You sure?"

Nico nodded, then, seeing as Percy was about to question his reaction, said: "My stomach's all messed up, I'm afraid if I eat anything it'll end up on your floor." Percy, as much as he really wanted to help Nico, wasn't too keen on the idea of cleaning up demigod puke. He nodded and entered the kitchen. His apartment was built such that the living room was the first thing you walked into upon entering the apartment, adjourned to the kitchen on the right side of the house. To the left of the apartment, the living room connected to the only hallway in the unit, which led to two bedrooms and a bathroom. Since Percy was living alone and attending a college nearby, (he was majoring in marine biology, and not only did he enjoy it, but he was good at it, too) he had converted the spare bedroom into a study. He hadn't seen the point in keeping a spare bedroom for someone; he didn't get too many overnight visitors, and it wasn't as if when Annabeth spent the night she slept in a different bed, let alone room. But now? He was kind of regretting not keeping a bed in there, or a futon, or something, just in case a scenario like this came up. He made himself a grilled cheese and retrieved a bag of chips from one of several pantries before pouring himself a glass of dr. pepper. "Hey, Nico?"

"Yea?"

"You want something to drink?"

"Uh, water. Please."

"You sure? I have dr. pepper and diet coke if you want."

"No. Just water."

His voice seemed strained, Percy thought fleetingly, before shrugging it off and filling a glass of water for Nico. He carried his food and their drinks out to the living room and sat next to Nico on the couch, handing him his water. "Thanks," the son of Hades mumbled, and out of the corner of his eye Percy watched as he sipped at the glass while they sat and watched Tom and Jerry.

Nico fell asleep on the couch, and he seemed to have scooted away from Percy while they had been watching TV, because he was hugging the armrest and his head had adopted it as a pillow; the younger boy's body curled up into a ball with his legs tucked into himself. Usually, Annabeth would get irritated whenever Percy put his shoes on the couch, even if it was his couch and they were his shoes, so he instinctively moved to carefully let Nico's legs down onto the ground. Nico's eyebrows furrowed in his sleep and he began shaking violently.

"N-no, no! No no no no no no please stop leave me alone please please please" Nico sounded hysterical, and Percy jumped away, suddenly remembering that Nico had gone through Tartarus too except, unlike Percy, he'd been alone. Percy's heart ached; as if the kid hadn't had enough to deal with he'd still had to endure that; it made his stomach churn thinking about the way he'd treated the boy before. He felt like whatever was going on with Nico now, it was his responsibility to help him out of it, especially because Persephone had basically told him it was.

Although Nico hadn't shown any weird behavior other than that he was unbelievably weak.

Percy exhaled, exhausted, and ran a hand through his own unruly black hair. That was a trait the two of them shared, thanks to their fathers. Percy left to his room to retrieve a pillow and two blankets for Nico, slowly removing the boy's jacket when he returned to the living room and, placing the pillow under his head carefully, covering him with the blankets before preparing himself for bed and falling asleep to thoughts of what Nico may have been up to for the past couple years.

"No, it's not like that," Percy insisted into his phone, pacing the hallway outside the campus library. He'd left as soon as his phone rang, and, because he'd forgotten to silence it, had to endure a stink eye from the librarian as he rushed out to answer Annabeth's call.
"It's not as if there's anything off about his behavior, it's like I said. He's completely normal except he's always tired, he sleeps a lot, and he's too weak to even support his own weight for too long." Percy positioned his phone so that it was propped between his shoulder and cheek so he could work the vending machine properly with both hands. It was incredibly useful, that demigods could use phones now thanks to an impish son of Hephaestus. Leo had been irritated with the fact that teenage demigods couldn't own cellphones because no one could figure out a way around this "puny little problem". He'd stayed up all night for about three days, tinkering and testing and trying again before he finally figured out a way to keep phones from attracting monsters. The smile on his face had been unbelievably wide, even for Leo, when he proved to everyone that yes, it actually could be done. Here they were, a year later, and Percy couldn't remember how he'd survived without his cellphone before.

"Well, it has only been a few days since he got there, right? Maybe you just need time to be able to see it."

Percy was frustrated. Honestly? He'd been frustrated since Nico had first shown up and Percy couldn't figure out what was wrong with him or how to help him. "No, I don't think so. I think I'm just missing something."

"Do you think maybe it's just because of all his time in the underworld?" Annabeth's voice questioned through the speaker, and Percy punched in the code for the bag of chocolate covered pretzels before responding.

"No, I don't. I kinda think it should have had the opposite effect on him, to be honest. Like, I know it sounds weird, but death and the underworld and all that, that's his domain. Like water and the ocean're mine. I would assume it would make him stronger, if maybe a bit lonely. But to drain him, like it would any other demigod? It just seems odd." Percy watched as the metal ring turned slowly, the bag of pretzels being pushed towards the edge before falling over and down to where Percy bent and picked them up through the swinging door of the vending machine.

"Should I come around some time? Try to get an idea of what's going on myself?" Annabeth asked, and he heard her take a drink of something. A smoothie, maybe. She loved this one smoothie place by her physics class, on the other side of campus.

"How's, uhm," Percy was headed down the hall to his next class, his phone still propped between his shoulder and cheek as he opened the bag and popped a pretzel into his mouth, "tomorrow night? Dinner? My place."

"Okay, I'll be there around seven. Oh, and Percy?"

"Yeah?"

"Whatever this is, don't think for a second it's your fault. Okay? Talk to you later."

Percy removed the phone from where it was and gaped at it. How could she say that to him now, after all he'd been doing for the past four days was convince himself that this surely must have had something to do with him. In retrospect, it was more likely that it did than that it didn't, or else why drop Nico off at Percy's front door? Of all places? Percy quickly finished his snack and hurried into his next class, unable to focus on anything in particular for the rest of the day.

The son of Poseidon walked into his apartment the next day after his last class, and he swore his nose had jumped off his face and was off vacationing in Italy.

"Nico?" Tentative.

"Yea, in the kitchen." He responded coolly, and Percy allowed his nose to lead the way, shedding his bag and jacket as he passed the couch, not bothering to stop and organize them. That could wait. When he entered his small, cramped little kitchen, the first thing he saw was all the food. The second thing he saw was the mess. But, as per the order he noticed them, the food was of higher importance. Nico had really gone to town; he'd made pasta, lasagna, this really good looking salad, (and Percy never ate salad. Ever.) and there were these cool pizza-roll like things that Percy took one of to taste and Oh holy Zeus's bolt on Mount Olympus up high, GODS this is amazing! Percy basically inhaled the thing, burning his tongue in the process, but that didn't stop him from taking another.

"Sorry about the mess, by the way. I'll clean it up before Annabeth gets here." Nico said, embarrassed. Percy shook his head and smiled reassuringly.

"At least something good, no, amazing came out of it. Usually if I try to cook, I end up with a mess twice as bad as this and burnt food."

Nico smiled slightly, which was a rare specialty , and a few minutes later he pulled a tray of garlic cheese bread out of the stove and Percy decided that yes, he was in heaven.

If only everything had been colored blue...

When Annabeth arrived, at seven sharp, the kitchen was clean and Nico had finished making everything. He reassured Percy that he hadn't used any of his money to buy the ingredients, that it had all been money given to him by his dad, and Percy insisted that even if it had been his money Nico had used, Percy didn't care. Annabeth was lured in by the smell of the kitchen, just as Percy had been, and when they all sat down, Annabeth started the meal by serving each of them salad.

"Oh, no thank you." Nico said politely, and Annabeth's eyebrows furrowed.

"Nico, no offence, even though this all looks delicious, the only thing that's actually healthy here is the salad. You should eat some."

Nico shook his head. "No, no. I'm not going to eat; I ate earlier while I was cooking and you guys were at the university." Annabeth raised one eyebrow in a sort of challenge.

"Oh? But that was several hours ago, surely you're even the least bit hungry again by now, aren't you?" Nico looked Annabeth dead in the eyes and seemed scared and defeated. He opened his mouth like he was about to protest, but his stomach growled, as if on cue. Nico turned pleadingly to Percy, who was eyeing the food hungrily. Annabeth, either oblivious of or uncaring about Nico's obvious misery, served the son of Hades some salad. The couple dug into their servings on their own plates, and Percy noticed Nico glaring at the salad on his plate. Slowly, as if he was afraid it was a bomb ready to explode, Nico picked up his fork. He picked up a single piece of lettuce and slowly brought it to his mouth, chewing it for maybe a whole two minutes before repeating the process. After about half the meal eaten like this, he began to eat at a more normal pace. When he finished his salad, he grabbed a slice of the cheese bread and two of the pizza rolls before serving himself some lasagna. He ate it all and when Percy served himself and Annabeth pasta and asked if Nico wanted any and Nico said yes, he ate all of that too. They all finished eating around the same time, stuffed to the brim until Nico brought out some awesome type of Italian cake that was crumbly and gooey and creamy and heavenly. Nico had two slices. They all helped clean up afterwards, and Nico excused himself to the bathroom, looking nauseous. Annabeth raised an eyebrow but didn't say anything when he disappeared down the hall. Percy started the dishes and Annabeth came up next to him, speaking as quietly as possible.

"I don't know Perce, I think overall it may be his eating habits doing all this to him. He originally refused to eat but th-"

"He said it was because he'd already eaten." Annabeth rolled her eyes.

"Yes, Percy, I know. But how long ago had that been? When did you get home today?"

"I dunno, around four? My last course was cancelled, something was up with the teacher."

"Okay, well that's at least three hours since he'd last eaten something, if he even did at all. He shouldn't have even argued about the salad in the first place. And then the way he looked at it!" Annabeth exclaimed as loudly as she could without her voice raising any higher than a whisper, "Like it was out to kill him or something!" She put her head in her hand.

"Well, he seemed to eat pretty normally after that, though, so it's probably nothing to worry about." Percy said, and Annabeth shook her head.

"I don't know, I don't like how sick he looked after eating and the way he absconded to the bathroom. Just...keep an eye on him, okay?" She checked her watch. "I'm headed back to my place to study a little bit before I go to bed."

"You can go ahead and crash here, you have the whole weekend to study."

Annabeth smiled fondly, ruffling her boyfriend's hair. "It's alright Seaweed Brain, besides, I think one charge is way more than enough for you." Percy expected her to kiss him goodnight, like she usually did whenever they had dinner dates, but she just went to the living room to retrieve her coat and purse before throwing a 'bye, Percy!' over her shoulder and the sound of the door shutting behind her. Confused, Percy didn't really think about it. He finished washing the dishes and then was about to start drying them when Nico entered the kitchen, looking horrible.

"Hey, Nico...you alright?" Percy asked, concerned. Nico swayed from side to side on his feet, and Percy kind of feared he would fall over.

"Huh? Yea, I'm fine, just," Yawn. "tired."

Percy walked closer to Nico and steadied the boy, and up close he smelled like mint, aside from the usual smell Percy had grown to associate with Nico as pomegranates and burning incense, leading Percy to assume the younger boy had brushed his teeth.

"Alright..oh, hey, are you sleeping okay on that couch? We can switch, if you want, you can take the bed."

Nico's eyes widened slightly but he tried to hide it and shook his head. "No thanks, couch is fine. I've slept in much more uncomfortable places. Need any help with those?" He gestured to the dishes, and Percy shook his head. "No, it's fine, you've done your fair share tonight. Just go ahead and go to bed."
"M'kay. Goodnight." The moment before Nico turned around to go to the living room, Percy was struck with the sudden urge to kiss the top of his head. He didn't, of course, but the urge itself freaked him out. He stayed in the kitchen a little while longer, thinking about Nico while he dried the dishes, and what on earth was happening with both of them.

A week passed and Percy hadn't seen Annabeth since the dinner in his apartment. They'd texted, sure, and called a couple times, but something felt...wrong. He didn't have too much time to worry about it though, because after Annabeth said to watch Nico, and, specifically, his eating habits, Percy began to notice that Nico never ate around him and always claimed to have eaten before or at a time when Percy wasn't around. The boy refused to drink anything but water, and on rare occasions green tea, and one time they'd been watching a movie and Percy made popcorn, and Nico eyed both the son of Poseidon and the movie snack like they had brutally murdered his family.

Well, uh, Percy technically had killed his sister.

But that wasn't the point.

The point was, eventually Percy got tired of always seeing Nico so down and weak and vulnerable, because he realized that it made him hurt to see Nico hurting. That was another thing that had been bugging the son of Poseidon; when had he developed such deep affection for the son of Hades? He led himself to believe that it was only a brotherly love he felt towards Nico, because he wasn't sure how well he could handle even the idea of it being anymore than just that. Percy began indirectly pushing Nico to eat more and more, but he knew what the younger boy was most likely doing when he ran to the bathroom after each and every time. Another few days dragged along, and not only did Percy's contact with Annabeth continue to dwindle, but he was grasping at straws for ideas on helping Nico. He didn't want to ask Annabeth for advice because he didn't really know what was going on between the two of them and he wasn't really sure the next time he had a conversation with his girlfriend he wanted it to be about the boy he liked.

Didn't like.

Liked as a brother.

Whatever. Why was he even worried about this more than he was about his relationship with his own girlfriend? No, he wasn't, that definitely wasn't a thing he was doing. But the thing was...how was he supposed to worry about Annabeth when he had no idea what exactly he was worrying about? Their relationship? There was no way that was in jeopardy; they both loved each other too much to end things over...what, exactly? Because he didn't even know. Nah, they could figure whatever it was out, no problem, they probably just needed some time.

He finally got an idea on the Friday two weeks after their dinner. He spent the evening with Nico, watching some movie that they both knew neither really cared about. It had become somewhat of a tradition, watch a movie every Friday night before bed. Nico had kind of become an unannounced permanent resident of Percy's apartment, and although Percy was happy the boy didn't leave, he couldn't help but wonder why. He also couldn't help but wonder why they were still even watching this movie in the first place. He reached for the remote and turned off the TV. Nico gave him a quizzical look and Percy ruffled the younger boy's hair, standing up off the couch.

"Tomorrow, Nico, you and I are going to spend a day out of this cramped little apartment." Nico scowled at Percy.

"I like your apartment."

"I love my apartment, but I don't love the fact that we have put ourselves on house arrest. That, my dear cousin," He cringed at his choice of wording, "is going to change."

"Well where are we going?"

"Several different places. You'll see tomorrow." He prepared for Nico to argue some more, but the Italian just sighed and nodded, making himself comfortable on the couch.

Suddenly Percy felt like such an asshole for letting him crash on the couch for so long.

"Hey, Nico, we can go get you, like, an actual bed or a futon or something, if you want. That can be one of the things we do tomorrow." Nico looked at Percy like he was observing something foreign and slowly began to shake his head. "No, thank you. It's alright."

Percy's first instinct was to protest; to insist that Nico needed a bed. Instead, he shrugged and turned, walking down the hall to his bedroom. He changed and got into bed, but for some reason he couldn't seem to fall asleep. He still hadn't managed to fall asleep by the time the sun came up, and he sat up, muttering shit repeatedly as he got out of bed and padded around the house until he reached the kitchen, where he started the coffee machine. The son of Poseidon shuffled back into the living room and found Nico, still asleep, tossing and muttering. Wiping the sleep from his eyes, Percy moved closer and saw rivulets streaking down Nico's cheeks, and Percy's heart stopped. He hadn't seen Nico cry since he came back from the quest to retrieve Artemis and Annabeth and had to tell him his sister had died. Somehow, though, this time it seemed different. Before he had been angry, resentful, and powerless, and his tears had been those of a frustrated child who sought attention and their own unrealistic idea of justice. Now, though. Now he cried like he just couldn't contain it anymore, like he was broken beyond repair, and Percy didn't even want to think of what it'd be like for him if he had to see Nico's eyes open, reflecting just how broken he really was. Percy sat down on the couch next to Nico, running his hand through his cousin's hair.

'Okay, really, you need to stop referring to him as your cousin. It makes this whole weird feeling thing you have for him even sicker.'

"Nico? Hey, Nico. Wake up. Shhh, Nico?" Percy whispered, his voice as delicate as possible so as not to startle the sleeping demigod. Nico bolted awake, panting and gasping and sobbing, clutching the sheets around him, his eyes unfocused and crazed. Percy hugged him to his chest, whispering quiet nothings into his ear, telling him he would be okay, he would be fine. Nico became completely quiet and stiff and Percy feared the younger boy would pull away, but a few moments later he cried out, throwing his arms around Percy and sobbing into the older boy's shoulder until he fell asleep.

Nico didn't talk to Percy about the night before. Percy didn't ask. What Percy did do, however, was fulfill his promise to spend the whole day outside of the apartment with Nico. In the morning Percy made cereal and milk (one of the few things he actually could make that turned out edible), and forced Nico to eat it. Directly after, without giving him any time to do anything but get changed, not even go to the bathroom, he led the younger boy out of the apartment and locked the door behind themselves. They both went downstairs to the apartment's subdivision's parking lot, and when Nico saw Percy's ride, he flipped.

"A motorcycle? Are you kidding me?" He asked, aggravated.

"Yea, what's wrong with it?"

"Do you have any idea how many souls I've run into in the Underworld that died because of motorcycles, Percy?"

"Dude, relax. Don't hate on my bike. I rarely ride it anywhere, anyways, because most of the places I go to are in walking distance."

"Is that supposed to make me feel better about this whole thing?" Nico rolled his eyes, crossing his arms.

"Nico, I already got the whole safety speech from my mom. You've met her, right? Do you really think she'd let me ride this thing if she wasn't five hundred percent sure I was safe whenever I was on it? She gave me rules and everything." The son of Hades eyed him suspiciously, unconvinced.

"What are they?"

"What?"

"The rules. What are the rules she gave you?" Percy beamed, his eyes sparkling.

"I'll tell you on the road."

Percy stopped at a McDonalds on the way to a park on the Eastern side of the city. There were other parks that probably would have been closer to them and their apartment (which he considered both of theirs now, not only his), but of all the parks he'd been to so far, he preferred this one. It was quiet, secluded, peaceful, and it kind of reminded him of camp. The way the hills rose and fell and the cluster of trees to the far left made a sort of miniature forest. Percy laid out the blanket he'd grabbed off the couch on their way out a bit away from where the slides and swings and people were gathered. It was quieter and more secluded that way. The son of Poseidon dropped the two happy meals and water bottles down next to the blanket, lying down onto his back. Nico remained standing, scowling over him, his head blocking the sun such that it gave him a halo. Percy smiled up at him and the younger boy rolled his eyes, giving in and sitting down next to Percy on the blanket. For a long time, Percy didn't keep track, they just sat there in a comfortable silence watching kids play on the equipment a distance away. After awhile, when both of their stomachs began to grumble, (even though Nico tried to hide the fact that his did), Percy suggested they eat. The son of Poseidon handed Nico his happy meal, and Nico had no choice but to take it without a word of protest. They ate in silence, neither of them having too much to say. Once they were finished eating Percy noticed that Nico looked sick, and the son of Poseidon decided to try and start conversation.

"Didn't you like McDonalds?'' The boy snorted.

"Yea, what, like, five years ago? six?"

"Okay, fair enough. What about this: didn't you used to like eating?"

Nico had been helping him fold up the blanket and his hands froze in the middle of folding. "What?"

"Yea," Percy said, refusing to show that he was unsure of whether or not what he just claimed to be the problem was actually the problem until Nico turned to him, his eyes resembling shattered glass.

"How'd you know?" It was barely a whisper, so Percy wasn't even sure he'd heard it at first. He didn't expect for that to have been the problem, he had expected to be wrong. He had wanted to be wrong and believe that there was nothing wrong with Nico and Persephone had had no idea what she was talking about. He also hadn't expected Nico to just come right out and admit to it, either, even if he did have a problem. His face softened, his eyes filling with sympathy.

"Nico, you didn't do that good a job hiding it." The boy hung his head, the picture of utter defeat. Percy's heart ached to go and hug the boy, but he feared Nico wouldn't like that. Instead, he simply stepped closer and bent down so Nico could see his face.

"I'm not going to tell you anything. I'm not going to ask you why or how, I'm not going to tell you you're not thinking, I'm not going to give you a speech or any of that. Nico, look at me. I'm not going to do any of that, but I'm going to try and help you, okay? And you need to help me help you, because you have to want to change or this won't ever work. Okay?" Although unable to see the younger boy's face, he could hear his ragged, uneven breathing, and he could assume that the son of Hades was trying not to cry. His head nodded slightly, and at that point Percy hugged him.

They left the park once Nico calmed down, Percy putting on his helmet before sitting at the front and Nico, clinging to him from behind with his head hidden in the older boy's back.

Percy had been dealing with a lot of Nico problems lately. He hadn't minded, of course, but during that time he'd missed two calls from Annabeth and five texts. He was kind of afraid to call her back; Starbucks coffee in one hand, his thumb hovering over the 'call' button on his iphone in the other. Eventually he gave in and called her and she picked up on the second ring.

"Percy, where in the fields of Asphodel have you been?" She asked, irritated but also evidently relieved.

"I've been spending a lot of time with Nico lately, 's all." He said, considerably less nervous than he had been two minutes before. He took a sip of his coffee. There was a long pause on the other end of line before, in that soft voice of hers that Percy loved, she asked, "how is he?"

"I...have yet to decide. You free later?"

"Uh, yea, actually, I am. Wanna meet for smoothies at around five?"

"Sure, I'll see you then I guess."

When Percy walked into the smoothie place on the other side of campus, he noted that the perfect curly blonde head of hair he'd fallen in love with was missing. Figuring she was running late, he shrugged and went to order their usual drinks, taking a seat off to the side where Annabeth would still be able to see him when she walked in. He slurped at his smoothie absentmindedly, his phone chiming in his pocket to alert him of a text from Nico.

'Do you have a pencil sharpener somewhere around here?'

He furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, because why would Nico need a pencil sharpener, and texted him back telling him yea, to check in the study. Annabeth came into the restaurant then, and Percy slid his phone back into his pocket, smiling at his girlfriend and standing to meet her.

"Hey," He said, smiling as he handed her the second smoothie. The daughter of Athena took it gratefully and drank from it as the two sat back down. She was acting weird, Percy couldn't help but think. She hadn't removed her mouth from the straw since Percy had handed her the drink, and she refused to meet her boyfriend's eyes. He decided that trying to force her to talk wouldn't work and resigned himself to simply wait till she finished her smoothie for her to get whatever she had to say off her chest. Once she did, she set her Styrofoam cup on the table and turned her brilliant stormy gray eyes-now gazing at him pleadingly-¬¬to meet his own oceanic green ones.

"Percy, you know I love you, right?" She started, and Percy already knew exactly where she was going with this. He scoffed in disbelief and she lunged to grab his hands in her own and pin them to the table, begging him to hear her out. Her eyes were teary, and Percy longed to reach out and wipe the tears away with his thumb and kiss the tip of her nose, but he didn't. Instead, he watched her expectantly.

"Well, do you? Do you know I love you?"

"I thought I did." Percy muttered, and Annabeth shook her head, the tears slowly beginning their trek down her cheeks.

"Percy, that's not fair. Perce, please, look at me." They looked each other right in the eyes.

"I love you and there is nothing I wouldn't do for you, and you do know that. You're just angry. This isn't you, but this isn't me either, and you know that just as well as I do." When Percy made no effort to participate in the conversation, Annabeth sighed, wiped her eyes, and continued.

"I think that you and I were meant to be friends. Best friends, even. Percy, I do love you, but not in the way I did when I was sixteen. Not anymore, and I don't think you want to admit it to yourself, but I think you agree with what I'm saying, too. We were young, we were impressionable. We were..." She sighed here and chuckled bitterly, "we were hormonal."

"You found someone else." Percy said simply, his voice flat, his eyes unfocused. Annabeth's gray eyes narrowed dangerously behind the tears.

"Me? No, I haven't found anyone, I just know that this, us, isn't the same as it was a few years back, and I know you're smart enough to see it too. If anything, you're the one who's found someone new." Percy stared at her, baffled.

"Me?! No I haven't!"

"Yes, you have," the daughter of Athena smiled, and it wasn't sadly, "and that's okay. I'm not upset, Percy, quite the opposite. I'm happy for you, really."

"But I haven't found anyone!" Percy insisted, and even he could hear the desperate child in his voice, promising his parent's he didn't break the vase when he clearly did.

"Nico?" Annabeth chuckled, shaking her head from side to side, tucking a strand of blonde hair behind her ear.

Percy loved it when she did that.

"He's all you want to talk about lately," Annabeth said slowly, like she was trying to make him understand.

"You're putting so much effort into helping him, even though you don't have to. You dote on him, like, a lot. You care for him. You love him. Even if you don't yet, you're getting there. And Percy, I could never be happier for you."

Percy and Annabeth left the smoothie shop at an understanding; neither of them too upset about what had happened. Annabeth was right, as usual; they had been brought together at too young an age to really be expected to last. Nonetheless, Percy still somehow felt numb as he started home. When he entered the apartment and didn't see Nico on the couch, he checked the kitchen. Unable to find him there, either, he knocked on the bathroom door. "Nico, you there?" Percy heard clattering and other noise from the inside of the room for what seemed like forever before the lock clicked and the door opened slowly, revealing Nico. He was watching Percy carefully and positioned such that he blocked the other boy's view into the bathroom. Percy raised an eyebrow.

"What're you doin?" He asked as normally as possible, as if he wasn't wondering why on Earth Nico had locked himself in the bathroom if he obviously wasn't actually using any of the utilities in there. The son of Hades shrugged, but Percy had gotten a lot better at reading the son of Hades lately.

"Nothing. Using the bathroom."

"Really?" He asked, and he raised an eyebrow, catching Nico's gaze with his own and holding it. "That's it?" The younger boy continued to stare Percy down before he broke the gaze, eyes cast downwards.

"Yea."

That weekend, Percy became swamped with assignments and reports due as well as exams he needed to prepare for. Most of his time was spent at home, locked away in his study, and Nico would sometimes come in and lie on the couch across from him, his legs hanging over the armrest, his hands fiddling with a pencil or ruler or stress ball (yes, Percy had one of those for whenever his dyslexia would become too frustrating and he didn't feel like pulling riptide out to ruin his furniture). Mostly, Nico seemed to be improving. He ate whenever Percy did, almost always eating the same amount as the older boy. He never ran off after meals, either.

Then suddenly it all got bad again.

Percy had a week till his finals and he was nowhere near prepared, he'd even started tutoring sessions with Annabeth so that he could catch up. Nico seemed to be doing fine, too, so Percy thought he just might do okay. Then, at around two in the morning one night, Percy left his study to use the bathroom and found Nico kneeling on the floor, his back facing the door, the boy and the space around him covered in blood.

At first, Percy had no clue how to react; he just stood there, horrified. Nico tensed, stiff as a rod, before collapsing into a babbling sobbing mess on the floor, hurrying to cover himself before Percy saw. Out of nowhere and without warning, Percy was blinded with anger and he bent down to look Nico in the eyes, sea green meeting obsidian. Nico's eyes were swollen and puffy, rimmed with red, just like his arm. Percy gripped him by the shoulders and Nico cringed away, but he held Percy's gaze. He seemed too defeated to even bother hiding, and Percy knew his rage was evident on his face.

He took in the boy's appearance; his ribs protruding starkly against his tight skin, as were his hipbones. The younger boy's arms and legs were thin as wire; his skin seemed to be nothing more than a thin film covering his bones, no muscle on his body except for the bit that seemed to be appearing around his stomach and upper arms. His right arm, which seemed to be the only place Nico had cut himself, was completely painted red. It shocked Percy that he'd never noticed just how underweight the boy was before; sure, the kid was always wearing baggy clothing and that huge jacket that hid his shape completely, but Percy should have picked up on this at some point in the past two months Nico had been staying with him.

The son of Poseidon stood, reaching into one of the cabinets for a first aid kit and bending back down to treat and bind Nico's wound. The younger boy grimaced when Percy disinfected it, but Percy's glower didn't crack. Nico had tried to stop crying, his breath coming in shallow gasps and hiccups, the last few remaining tears crawling down his cheeks. He was apologizing; hysterically trying to get his words heard through his uneven, jagged breathing. Percy looked around the bathroom for Nico's clothes, which the boy had placed on top of the toilet seat, away from the mess. The son of Poseidon finished cleaning the younger boy of blood before helping him up and into his clothes without a word, the silence toxic. Nico had stopped breathing unevenly, had stopped apologizing: he was breathing as quietly as possible, desperate to hear any and all noise the other boy made. Nico's onyx, shaggy mess of hair fell into his eyes, entangling with his black lashes. His skin still had an olive hue to it due to Nico's heritage, even if it was considerably pale after the boy's lack of vitamin D.

Along with the boy's lack of other nutrients.

His pale pink lips were open, slightly, in either apology or defeat Percy didn't know and didn't dwell as he leaned forward and kissed him. It wasn't even a kiss, technically; Percy had carefully leaned in, brushing his own mouth against the other boy's, before pulling away and gently pulling the other into an embrace. He half expected Nico to cry again, but the son of Hades seemed drained, instead weakly wrapping his arms around the taller boy as if his life depended on it, and, in that moment, it felt like it did.

They stood there, the floor around them slick with blood, the water from the sink dripping annoyingly, for what seemed like a lifetime until Percy pulled away and, without looking at Nico, went about cleaning up the rest of the bathroom. Although his back was turned, Percy could feel Nico standing in the doorway behind him, but after seven minutes or so of standing there he realized Percy wasn't going to turn around and acknowledge him, and Percy heard the rustling of his feet against the floor as he made his way to the living room. Sighing, Percy continued cleaning up the bathroom floor, finding the small blade of a pencil sharpener on the floor under the sink. He first stared at it in disbelief before picking the blade up gingerly and leaving the bathroom to walk across the living room, completely ignoring Nico on his way to the kitchen, where he chucked the small blade down the drain and turned on the garbage disposal. On his way back to the bathroom he ignored Nico's pleading eyes on his back, disinfecting the floor. The smell of copper hung in the air and Percy's mind was flooded with images of war. Shaking his head in an attempt to clear the images, he scrubbed the floor with more vigor and damn it the blood would not just fucking get cleaned up.

He finally gave up, the smell and the memories too much to handle, washing himself up and shoving books into his satchel before slamming the door behind him on his way out of the apartment.
The hero hadn't walked three blocks before he realized nothing but stingy bars were open at three in the morning on a Tuesday. Frustrated, he walked in pointless circles around his apartment for what seemed like eternity, but in reality couldn't have been more than a few hours. He let his mind wander; he rarely had time to himself to think, and whenever he did, his thoughts became an illegible jumble of past and present. This time, even though a part of his mind was flipping it's shit over Percy's need to study, the more dominant side was worried about Nico. He remembered when he'd met the kid, and how much he'd annoyed him, even though thinking back on it, the boy hadn't done anything wrong. He'd actually reacted better to the realization of being a demigod than any other half-blood Percy'd ever met. Sure, he'd been a bit aggravating with his questions, but what ten year old wasn't curious? Percy also found it kind of ridiculous that his older sister-Bianca, her name had been-had just dropped everything, without a care as to how her brother would feel about it, and become a huntress of Artemis. That was actually the only reason she'd even gone on that quest, because she'd become a part of the goddess's hunt. If she hadn't been so selfish, Percy couldn't help but think, and maybe stayed with her brother, she'd still be alive right now. She'd been the only family the boy had had left and she'd just abandoned him. Of course, that hadn't lessened Nico's fury at all when he found out his sister had died. Damn, Percy still felt guilty for that. He couldn't even believe he'd actually thought that he could do it-he'd been such an egotistic jerk, thought he was able to do no wrong, but ever since Tartarus he'd had a change of perspective.

Oh Gods.

Tartarus.

Percy shuddered just thinking of the place. It had been the worst experience of his life, hands down. There was no way he would have made it out of there alive without Annabeth by his side, and even then they only barely survived.

He still woke up in the middle of the night, gasping and clutching at the sheets with nightmares of that Hell. So how had Nico...
On his own...

Percy ran a hand through his hair, mind whirling. He passed dark alleys with dimly lit streetlights, and he could've sworn he saw an empousa standing outside a pub, a victim pressed up against the wall limply by her body. When he looked back, there was nothing there. Not particularly in the mood to deal with psycho donkey women at the moment, he shrugged it off and stole his way back to his apartment to find Nico curled up into a ball on the couch, asleep.

Beep

Beep

Beep

Beep

Bee-

Percy's hand flew over to the side of the bed to his nightstand, muting the incessant alarm. He sat up groggily, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. He looked at his bed, messy as usual, and started at the boy in it before remembering he'd carried Nico to his bed the previous night, sick of making the son of Hades crash on that uncomfortable fucking couch. The only reason he knew it was uncomfortable because he'd tried to sleep on it the night before until, after two hours of tossing and turning, had conceded and decided whatever embarrassment he may endure the following morning would be worth actually getting some sleep. Now, here he was, sure that Nico had been awoken by the alarm and was going to demand an explanation, but the pale boy just rolled over and snored. Percy snorted in amusement, running a hand through the sleeping demigod's hair before getting up and preparing for his day, making sure to leave a bagel and cream cheese out for Nico before leaving the apartment. He grabbed a cup of coffee and a donut from the bakery across the street from campus and made his way to the library, spending the two hours before his first lecture drowned in a textbook.

"Nico, you ready to go?"

"Yea," the Italian called down the hall, and Percy zipped up his suitcase, pulling it off his bed and making his way to the living room, where the son of Hades was seated on the couch, sipping water and watching How I Met Your Mother. He'd fallen in love with the show when he'd first discovered it, the DVD's stashed somewhere in Percy's cluttered study. Since his finding of the series the prior week while Percy had been sitting at the college for his finals, he'd breezed through the first five seasons and was still going strong. Nico stood with reluctance, stopping the episode and turning off the TV.

"You don't have to take me along, if you don't want to, you know. I'll just go back to the Underworld." Percy rolled his eyes, because this had to have been the millionth time the son of Hades had suggested this since telling him they were going to spend a few weeks in New York with Percy's mom and Paul.

When Percy first breached the idea, Nico's face had drained of all color, and Percy might have found it amusing if he hadn't been terrified the boy was about to pass out. There'd been a huge argument following; Nico screaming that Percy had no right to tell him what to do and that he wasn't responsible of him or his wellbeing and therefore the son of Hades had no obligations to tag along, and Percy protesting by saying that Nico had to realize that someone cared about him, and caring about someone meant exactly those things. The yelling had gone on for hours until Nico shadow-travelled away for the first time since staying at Percy's apartment. The son of Poseidon tossed restlessly in his bed the whole night, terrified he'd driven the Italian away. The following morning, however, on his way out to meet Annabeth for brunch, he found Nico sulking on his couch, agreeing to tag along to New York. Percy doubted he could've smiled any wider.

"You can take those with you, if you want." Percy said, gesturing to the DVD player with his eyes. "Watch them there."

"...You sure it's okay?" Percy chuckled, shaking his head and ruffling the younger boy's hair as he made his way to the DVD set, removing the disc currently inside the player and popping it into the box, taking the next three seasons and fitting them into the front pocket of his suitcase.

"C'mon, let's get going."

Nico didn't have anything to bring with him other than his sword, which was safely stored in Percy's laptop case. The son of Hades didn't really need anything; he had his jacket, as usual, and he'd recently taken to claiming all the black shirts Percy owned as his own, along with some of his other articles of clothing. Percy didn't mind as much as he thought he would; a small corner of his mind insisted that it was because Nico looked really good in Percy's clothes, but Percy wasn't about to pay it any mind. They made their way down to the front door of the building, where they found a car waiting outside, driver and all.

Percy didn't really like talking about it, because to him it felt like bragging, but let's just say his mom was a much better author than they'd all anticipated.

The distance seemed shorter than usual, and Percy had no other plausible explanation as to how the time had passed quicker than ordinary other than because Nico had kept him entertained. It was odd; he'd never expected to think of the son of Hades as ideal company, but he found him to be the best company he'd had in a long time. Upon arrival, Percy thanked and paid the driver, taking his suitcase and making his way into his mom's new apartment, Nico trailing close behind.

After Sally'd started writing and her books had become increasingly popular, she'd begun bringing in enough money to finally move out of the dingy apartment of Percy's childhood and move into a larger unit. The son of Poseidon would be lying if he said he missed the other place at all. His mom's new apartment building had a pool for all the residents, along with access to a gym for all the apartments in the neighborhood. Also, the neighbors were nice. Which was rare specialty in New York. The neighbors downstairs had the cutest little girl ever, Percy had told Nico about her on the ride over, and he'd told him that he'd would introduce Nico before the visit was over. The elevator dinged, informing them they'd reached their floor, and before Percy had the chance to knock the door was thrown open, Sally smiling brightly. She wore an apron, which was dusted with flour, as was the rest of her.

"Percy!" She greeted, hugging her son tightly. Percy hugged back, his embarrassment of hugging his mom in front of others long gone. "Hey, mom. Remember Nico? You met him on my fifteenth birthday?"

"Yes, of course I do." She and Percy had released each other, and now Sally was smiling sweetly at the shy Italian standing a couple feet away. "Hello, Nico. It's good to see you. Percy told me you were coming to visit with him." Percy legitimately wanted to burst out laughing when he turned to see Nico quaking slightly, because what was he afraid Sally was going to do? Bake him into a batch of her blue cookies? (Which Percy could smell cooling in the kitchen, his resolve to stay and be polite slowly melting as the seconds ticked by, much as he imagined the chocolate chips were doing.)

Nico held his hand out, saying, "Yes, it's a pleasure to see you again, thank you for letting me stay with you," and Percy very nearly facepalmed, because seriously Nico was too adorable if he thought Sally was going to accept a handshake.

Wait...what? Whatever, moving on.

Sally's eyes zoomed in on Nico's hand, laughing and shooing it out of the way before bringing the boy into a tight embrace. Nico yelped, and Percy couldn't help the laugh that slipped out.

The first four days at Sally's went much better than Percy could have anticipated; Nico and Paul had hit it off from the start, and Sally's constant doting on Nico not only gave his mom something to occupy herself with, but it also helped give Nico the motherly affection the boy lacked (according to Annabeth).

Nico was obliged to eat three meals a day, along with several snacks and desserts throughout the day, under Sally's watchful eye. From what Percy could tell, Nico was getting better.

Then again, he'd been wrong about that exact same thing last time, so who knew? The son of Poseidon just hoped for the best.

At night, once Percy's parents were asleep, Nico and Percy would crawl into one of the two beds in the room Percy's mom had set aside as his own, and watch How I Met your Mother on Percy's laptop, each demigod with one earbud. Sometimes they fell asleep like that; the two of them sprawled across the bed, the earbuds tangled in the sheets, and the laptop's battery drained from running all night. Other times, Nico would fall asleep, his head resting on Percy's chest, rising and falling with each breath he took, his arms clutching the older boy's shirt. Those nights, Percy would shut down the computer and set it aside, kissing the younger boy's forehead before carefully climbing out of the bed and covering Nico with the coverlet, feeling his way through the darkness to the other bed and falling asleep to the sound of their synchronized breathing. If Sally and Paul thought anything weird of it, they didn't comment. Percy was sure they wondered what was going on, though. Hell, Percy himself wondered what was going on. He knew what he wanted to be going on, but did Nico really want that with him? Especially right now, to even breach the topic...it'd be such an asshole thing to do.

It'd seem like Percy were trying to manipulate the smaller boy during a time when he was weak and vulnerable, which was the very last thing Percy wanted to do. All he wanted to do was help him.

Maybe after...

No. No one knew what would happen after that, so Percy wasn't going to dwell on it. He was going to focus on his priorities at the moment, and worry about the rest when the time came.

Since staying at Sally's, the two demigods had yet to leave the house. They spent the days eating, playing video games, and watching TV (the majority of which being How I Met Your Mother). Nico still declined food offered to him if he knew that it wouldn't seem too out of the ordinary, but Percy always noticed.

Percy always noticed everything about Nico.

Eventually, Paul suggested the two boys go out and do something other than lounge around the house all day, and Sally recommended a park not too far away from the apartment. So if Percy were to have to, he would wholly blame his parents for the events that followed.

He and Nico walked to the park, the walk maybe a little over five minutes in the blistering sun, leaving them parched and regretting to not have thought of bringing water along upon arrival. Percy smiled crookedly, catching sight of an icecream truck a little ways away and telling Nico to wait for him there until he got back.

For this part Percy was absent, but from what Nico told him after the whole ordeal, the son of Hades had watched Percy walk off before finding a bench not too far away and taking a seat, just watching everyone interact. There were kids all over the play equipment, scaling the ladders and monkeybars and sliding down the slides.

It was weird for Nico to see; the only children he'd ever really interacted with were those at the Lotus Casino, but all of them were hypnotized shells of the kids they'd once been, before becoming consumed by the attractions the hotel had to offer. These kids, though, didn't have a care in the world, and weren't being manipulated into playing; they did so because they enjoyed it. Off to one side, a large group of people were gathered around one of the picnic tables, the smell of cooking meat wafting from a barbecue. Close to Nico were a boy and a girl, he assumed boyfriend and girlfriend, attempting to fly a kite together and failing miserably due to the lack of wind.

The son of Hades felt odd; not necessarily bad, just...unaccustomed.

After the war with the giants, Nico returned to the Underworld despite Jason's protests, pleading the son of Hades to stick it out and celebrate with the rest of the demigods. Although Jason had been an impeccable friend and kept Nico's secret, as well as defended him and looked out for him whenever he could, Nico was still Nico.

He was still the son of Hades, the outcast, and it wasn't like just because the war was over he'd suddenly developed the ability to not feel nervous in large groups. So, reluctantly, Jason had wished him luck and asked he stay in contact with the Son of Zeus, and they had up until recently. Huh, that reminded him, Nico needed to IM Jason soon. He continued to sit on the bench observing the others in the park, and he quickly grew uncomfortably hot; the blazing sun combined with the bomber jacket he wore enough to make anyone sweat. Usually Nico didn't feel heat; in fact, he usually lacked it due to his body's lack of nutrients, but lately, he'd begun to feel what he hadn't felt in forever: hot. He also began to feel full, and the first few days the boys began to stay at Sally's house Nico was constantly in the bathroom, weighing himself on the scale.

Percy walked in on him once, and since then the scale had mysteriously vanished.

Yup. Total mystery.

Nico looked over to the ice cream truck, curious as to what was taking Percy so long, and saw the son of Poseidon in deep conversation with a little girl with straight red hair that nearly touched the ground. Rolling his eyes, he couldn't help smiling to himself. He'd gotten over the other boy a long time ago, but he'd be lying if he still didn't find him completely adorable at times.

"Just leave me alone!" The son of Hades notched an eyebrow and turned around in his seat to see...

...Bianca?

HolyshitZeusaboveit'sBiancawhatwhathowissheevenherewhataretheydoingtoher.

Nico was immediately up, marching towards the group of boys harassing Bianca, rage run rampant. There were three; one burly white boy with a permanent scowl who seemed to be the leader, a smaller, but just as intimidating, Hispanic boy with a buzz cut and unibrow, and a bored looking boy who appeared to be of Asian descent.

"What's going on?" He inquired, narrowing his eyes.

The Hispanic snorted. "Who's this, your boyfriend?"

Nico turned to the girl, who stared Nico up and down critically, and he physically felt his heart deflate. There was no way this girl was Bianca; from further away the confusion was understandable, but up close the girl's features contrasted sharply to his sister's. She had amber eyes, thinner eyebrows, a more defined slope to her nose, and thinner lips. Nico felt like an idiot; even though Bianca had chosen rebirth, there was no way she could be older than he was. His disappointment was as hard a blow as any, and his anger easily transferred targets to the boys in front of him.

"No," the girl said warily, "he's not."

"Ay, You either stupid or a fag to not be tappin' that," the blond boy said, eyes roaming the girl greedily as she glared back fiercely. Nico stayed silent, his glare unwavering.

"Holy shit," the Asian said, laughing obnoxiously, "boy's a faggot!" He snorted like it was the most amusing thing in the world, and Nico's fist shook at his side with the strain he put into keeping it there. The anglo took a step forward and grinned like the Cheshire, looming over the son of Hades. He leaned down and grabbed the smaller boy's ass, and Nico started, reflexively punching the boy in the jaw. He made a startled face and removed his hands from the demigod, only to become furious and come at Nico wildly, hands a blur and the target his face. The son of Hades sidestepped, quickly and gracefully, before kicking the boy's legs out from under him and stomping down on the blond's knees once he'd fallen.

"How's that feel, shitface? Have any more fucking comments for me?!"

"What's going on?" Nico heard a familiar voice behind him, slightly out of breath. Bless this idiot, he'd probably run. Nico felt his legs buckle beneath him, and he felt a strong arm keeping him upright. He felt weak; unbelievably weak, and he was having trouble keeping his eyes open.

All traces of anger had vanished: emotions were too much work.

Keep his eyes open, that was too much work too...

"Nico, hey! Hey if you stay asleep I'll probably have to tickle you into consciousness! Nico, dude, seriously, wake up please. Yo! Earth to Nico!" There was something cold and wet on his face, and he blinked his eyes open, blinded by sunlight.

"Wha-," He was interrupted by the elder demigod wrapping his arms around him.

"You're unbelievably difficult to take care of, I hope you realize." Nico blushed, because, why did Percy care what happened to Nico anyways? How could he care? How could anyone care?

"I'm sorry," he mumbled, his speech muffled by the blue cotton of the other boy's shirt. Percy chuckled and let the smaller boy go, giving Nico a chance to see they were still at the park, and the girl who he'd mistaken as Bianca was coming up, three ice cream cones in hand, the boys from earlier nowhere to be seen.

"I talked to her," Percy said, answering Nico's unasked question.

"And?"

"Well, I didn't know what possessed you to pick a fight, so I asked that girl-her name's Ashley, by the way-what happened. She told me you thought she was Bianca?" He turned to look up at the girl as she sat down next to them, carefully balancing the frozen treats. She sat criss-cross, just like Percy, and handed out the cones wordlessly, taking a lick of her own.

"I mean," Percy started up again, taking his and Nico's and handing Nico his own, observing the girl's face, "I can see why you'd mistake the two from a distance...with your eyes kinda squinted maybe...in the dark..." Nico punched his arm lightly and Percy laughed, leaping forward and giving the smaller boy a noogie. Eugh, doofus. The girl chuckled.

"You guys are adorable. How long have you been together?"

They blanched at the question, both unsure what to say.

"We aren't-no, we aren't really, I mean, uh," Percy stuttered, inching away from Nico awkwardly.

"He's my cousin." Nico deadpanned, looking down at his icecream with distaste, voice blank. He could feel Percy's stare boring a hole into the side of his head, but he refused to turn to face him.

"Oh. Sorry." She giggled nervously, her cheeks tinting bright pink.

"Uh, no-no problem." Percy stuttered again, and Nico could practically hear him fucking blushing. Nico rolled his eyes beneath his eyelids before standing up and shrugging. "I don't really want ice-cream. 'mma go throw this away."

Hearing Nico shout from halfway across the park (that was a dramatization, but that's how it felt to Percy) wasn't exactly what he was expecting when he left the boy to go get something to cool them off. He didn't even have the time to grab icecream-he had been in the middle of a debate with a little girl who reminded him oddly of Rachel over which was better: Fluttershy or Rainbow dash. He found the son of Hades in the middle of a group of guys, a girl with olive skin and long, flowing black hair standing timidly to the side. He was shocked when everything abruptly turned ugly as the tall blond leaned in to Nico too close for the son of Poseidon's liking and had the audacity to squeeze his ass.

Oh, Hades no.

The control switch flipped to 'out of' in Percy's mind and it took every fiber of his being to approach slowly, without riptide drawn. He was ready to beat these three idiots to a pulp before Nico beat him to it; he watched as the pale boy's fist leaped out, connecting with the taller male's jaw with a satisfactory crack.

Oh, right.

Nico was a demigod.

Calm down there, Percy, little too defensive.

After the blond recovered, he came charging at Nico, but Percy restrained himself to just watching. Nico dodged the mortal's attack easily, sticking his foot out to knock his opponent's legs from beneath him. He paused to stare down at the boy for a moment, enraged, before continuing to step down on his knees, digging the soles of his shoes into them. Ouch, that was going to hurt.

Good.

When Nico began cursing like a sailor, Percy decided it was time to involve himself.

"What's going on?"

His voice was steady, which shocked him considering the adrenaline coursing through him. He was so busy glaring at the two boys still standing across from him that he didn't notice the son of Hades collapsing till it was almost too late, barely wrapping one arm around him before easing him down gingerly, returning to face the boys who weren't cringing on the floor in pain. He raised an eyebrow at them, challenging.

"You want me to do worse than Nico did to your friend there?"

No comments.

"Yea, I didn't think so. Beat it, and take this piece of shit with you." He said, gesturing with his foot to the blond on the floor. One of them, the Asian, looked like he wanted to protest, but in the end they left without another word, their companion's arms slung over their shoulders as they hobbled away. Percy ran a hand through his hair and exhaled in exhaustion, turning to the girl standing a few feet away timidly. She kept glancing behind her like she wanted to bolt, and Percy rolled his eyes.

"Hey, I'm Percy. I'm assuming you met Nico...?"

Silence. Why wasn't anyone talking to him today?

"Well, whatever. Since Nico just saved your ass over here, you think you could do the both of us a favor? Find me a bottle of water, or any water you can find? Yea? Awesome, thanks." He turned back to Nico, sitting down next to him as he heard the girl slowly trudge off. He ran a hand through Nico's hair: it was frail and falling out, but still managed to maintain its smooth texture he'd gained through genetics. His eyes were swollen, like he'd spent several nights crying, but Percy knew that wasn't the case. The younger boy's skin was a shade of faded olive, paled after years without enough sun. His dark eyelashes carefully dusted his cheekbones; a stark contrast of black on white. His mouth quivered with shallow breaths, his lips a shaking splotch of pink. The sleeping boy was beautiful in the most terrifying way, like a lion; collarbones sharp enough to cut through steel, his eyes pools of black when open.

Percy'd just about given up on her coming back and was about to go searching for water on his own when she returned, one bottle of water in each hand. She handed them down to Percy wordlessly as he muttered "took you long enough". The son of Poseidon poured water over Nico and closed his eyes in concentration, channeling all his energy into willing the water to do what he commanded with his hands: heal Nico. He also threw in a prayer to his dad, because it couldn't hurt.

"I was gone for ten minutes." The girl responded hesitantly, once Percy had opened his eyes and leaned away from Nico, drained.

"Yea. Took you long enough." This time, it was the girl who rolled her eyes.

"He's probably going to be okay, he wasn't hit at all so we can just blame the sun for this one."

"Yea," Percy said, turning to the boy again, "I guess."

They talked for a little bit, before Percy's anxiety to confirm Nico was okay got the best of him. He told Ashley (that was her name, she'd informed him) to go and find an icecream cart, giving her money before he attempted to wake the son of Hades up, dousing him with the other bottle of water. He opened his eyes slowly, and Percy hugged him tightly, the relief crashing over him like waves during a storm. He hadn't even realized just how nervous he'd been until after it all suddenly vanished. This boy was becoming such a pain to care for, and he told him, and he apologized. But he didn't get it.

Despite all the trouble, Percy wouldn't trade it for the world.

Things were kind of awkward after they left the park. Percy stopped Nico and asked him if he was sure he was okay, that he wasn't feeling weird at all, and Nico brushed him off with a short 'I'm fine.'

Well okay then, be that way. Percy didn't try to start another conversation after that. What he wanted to do was ask Nico a little under a million questions, but he didn't. Sally and Paul seemed to sense something was up too and they didn't inquire, which the son of Poseidon was grateful for because he wasn't in the mood to answer any questions. Nico locked himself away in Percy's bedroom the whole evening, and even though it wasn't actually locked and he could have easily walked in at any time, he stayed as far away from his bedroom as possible, not even entering for a change of clothes when the time came to sleep.

He spent the night on the couch in the same clothes he wore to the park.

Percy woke up with an awful headache, groaning when he checked his phone to discover the time. 3:12.

Wonderful.

He stumbled into the kitchen in search of aspirin because for some odd reason his mom didn't keep the medicine in the bathroom. He flicked the light on, greeted with the image of Nico sitting at a table cluttered with chips, fruits, cupcakes, peanut butter, bread, and what appeared to be just about every item of food his mother owned. Nico looked like someone who'd been caught cheating on their spouse; terrified and ashamed. Percy walked up to him slowly, staring at him curiously before the corners of his mouth tugged upwards and he smiled, ruffling the younger boy's hair and kissing the top of his head then rummaging through a cabinet for the little aspirin bottle, taking two and going back to bed.

He was slipping into unconsciousness when he heard the bathroom door open and close. Panicked, Percy followed him, listening carefully against the door to hear...nothing.

No sounds of shuffling clothes, or gagging, or toilets flushing.

Nothing to arouse suspicion for any reason.

Oh, wait.

Fuck.

Nico was crying.

No, not crying.

He was sobbing.

Percy fell back against the door, back sliding down it until he was seated on the floor, head bowed over his bent legs. he let his head rest in his hands when he noticed the opposite side of the door had gone quiet. There was shuffling, and Nico's voice came out, timid and broken.

"Percy?"

"Yea, Nico," Percy whispered, but even then his voice cracked, "I'm here."

There was silence, then the lock clicked and Percy scrambled to his feet as Nico opened the door. He was a mess: hair sticking out to all sides, cheeks wet, eyes swollen a bright crimson, hands shaking. He held his hands out, lips pouting unintentionally and trembling violently. The sight gave him a sense of déjà vu: Annabeth had once done exactly the same to him. It felt like lifetimes ago, even though it was only a couple of years since that time in Athena's cabin. He didn't hesitate for a second at the sight, reflexively reaching out to Nico and embracing him. Percy eased the boy's head onto his shoulder with one hand, carefully running the other hand up and down his back.

Nico didn't cry anymore, just weakly wrapped his arms around Percy's torso and held him. Percy had grown to love the smell of incense and pomegranates that always came with being near the younger boy clutching to him, and he buried his face into the head of hair, breathing in as much as possible. Nico pulled away first, and Percy let him go. They stood facing each other, Nico rubbing his hand along the length of his arm like he was cold. Percy was about to ask when Nico stepped forward, quickly pecking the corner of Percy's mouth before reeling back, blushing violently. He apologized before Percy could even say anything and absconded to Percy's room.

This time, Percy somehow knew he'd locked the door behind him.

When he recovered from the shock, he made his way to the couch without even trying to follow Nico, only to realize he wasn't tired anymore.

Watching the last episode of How I Met Your Mother together was something both boys were anxiously awaiting. They'd returned to their own apartment a few days prior; Percy's parents seemed to have a general idea of what was going on without having needed be told anything, for which Percy was eternally grateful. Sally made her son swear to call home more often, then proceeded to make Nico swear to make sure he did.

They'd gone out with Annabeth for dinner at some fancy restaurant on the East side once they returned home, Nico initially appalled with Percy's invitation.

"Why in Hades would you want me to accompany you on a date? Are you really so lost on what's romantic and what isn't that you'd turn to the single individual who could possibly be any worse than yourself in that area as a wingman?" He'd snapped at him, which confused Percy, especially after Nico rolled his eyes and stormed off. He hadn't expected the son of Hades to react the way he did, but regardless, the older demigod followed him, leaning in the doorway of the study and raising an eyebrow.

"You do know Annabeth and I aren't a thing anymore." At Nico's startled look, Percy raised the other eyebrow to meet the first.

"You didn't know? We broke up after you and I went to the park."

"When you guys went out for smoothies?"

"You seriously didn't know? I didn't mention it at all?" Nico shrugged, turning back to his book. "You're an asshole, what else is new?" He tried hiding the smirk, but Percy saw it and stuck his tongue out at him before leaving the study.

They went to dinner, Nico included, and Percy didn't know about the other two, but he had a great time. The son of Poseidon already knew Annabeth was gorgeous in a dress, but he had no idea how nicely Nico cleaned up. They'd joked and chat for hours over their meal, and Nico seemed to have no problem eating, as was usual lately. He figured he could stop watching him like a hawk, but, by the looks of things, it was going to be a difficult habit to break. Percy paid for everyone because why not, and they all shared a cab to their area of town before parting; Annabeth to her own place, Nico and Percy back to the apartment.

Here they were, several days later, the two demigods curled up on the couch opposite the TV, the air conditioner blasting so that it was cold enough to bundle up. Nico was wearing the dark blue sweater that Annabeth'd gotten Percy and it was several sizes too big, along with maroon sweatpants, (that also belonged to Percy) and black socks (those were Nico's). Percy wore an orange camp sweatshirt and his boxers. They were both tucked under the blanket, a popcorn bowl between them, the both of them every so often reaching into it for a handful. Nico yelled at the screen repeatedly, and he actually threw a handful of popcorn at the TV in outrage once it was over. He yelled hysterically in Italian and Percy knew that he should be consoling him but he literally had his fist shoved in his mouth to keep from bursting out in laughter. Even then, he was still beaming around his hand, stuttered chuckles he couldn't restrain escaping. Nico turned to him, his eyes dangerous.

"Io ucciderò il chiunque permesso che ciò accadesse. Uccideteli! Senza pietà! How are you not outraged by this?!"

Percy removed his hand from his mouth and laughed, ruffling Nico's hair. "Dunno dude. Must not have been as emotionally invested as you."

When that didn't ease the murderous look in Nico's eyes, he continued, "I mean, I might be more upset about it if you weren't being dramatic about your anger."

Nico jumped him, catching the son of Poseidon off guard and managing to topple him onto his back, the younger demigod's knees digging into the cushion on either side of his ribs.

"I'm not being dramatic, it is just unacceptable for them to have ended it the way they did. They tell you this whole story and make you think that it's going to be all about how he meets the love of his life and they get married and have kids, but then suddenly someone decided 'oh! No, I don't like that idea. Fuck that, let's make everyone hate the last episode and always remember us as the quelli che vanno alle nostre mamme culo we are!' Like, seriously, the ending just contradicts the title of the whole show! How are you not outraged?!" Percy laughed.

"Dude, I don't speak Italian, what was that you just said?"

Nico opened his mouth to snap some more, then rolled his eyes and said, "Motherfucker."

"Hey! Rude! Jeez, next time I just won't ask."

The ends of Nico's mouth quirked up as he muttered, "No, you idiot, what I said was the Italian equivalent of motherfucker."

"Oh." Percy's eyebrows furrowed. "That's kind of ridiculous, such a long phrase for one word." Nico rolled his eyes. "You're kind of ridiculous."
"Yea? We'll you're kind of endearing."

What.

What.

What the fuck.

'Why am I such an idiot oh my GODS he's probably totally creeped out right now and he's sitting on top of me he's going to move away and he's probably grossed out shi-why is he looking at me like that?'

Nico was staring down at the son of Poseidon, his expression wary but borderline disbelief.

"You better not be fucking with me, because I'll rip your balls off."

"Dude, why do you curse so much? And, like, hello, it's like you have no idea what my fatal flaw is, why would I mess with you about something like that?"

"Dude, like, hello," Nico said, mocking the older boy, "it's like you have no idea you're an oblivious asshole."

"See? Cursing again. What the Hades, dude?"

"You don't like the way I talk?"

"Not when you swear like a sailor, not particularly."

"Huh, a son of Poseidon who doesn't like sailor talk."

"Yea! I don't!"

"You don't?" Nico said, leaning down so face was less than an inch away from the boy's beneath him before whispering, "then do something about it."

Percy's breath hitched in his throat. "You mean, like..."

Nico rolled his eyes, his breath hot against the other boy's face. "You are the biggest Seaweed Brain, Percy, I sw-"

Ha. Percy shut him up.

Who was the Seaweed Brain now?

At first, kissing Nico was awkward. Their mouths didn't fit just right, their noses bumped a little bit, and at one point their teeth clacked against each other, but as soon as they got the hang of it, Percy never wanted to stop. They just had to angle themselves right, and they fit like a puzzle. Nico was obviously nervous; he seemed to have no idea what he was doing and was really worried about messing up. Percy wrapped his arms around Nico's waist and pulled him down onto him further, the smaller boy gasping in surprise, giving Percy access to his open mouth. Nico stifled a moan as Percy ran his tongue over the other boy's lower lip, his hands slowly winding around the neck of the boy beneath him. Percy fondled the hem of Nico's sweater, his tongue circling the inside of the other boy's mouth, before he slowly slid his hands under the boy's sweater.

Nico tensed, breaking the kiss and putting his hands on Percy's shoulders to try and push himself away. Percy pulled him back fiercely, yanking the boy's top up to reveal his body.

If possible, Nico looked worse than the last time he'd seen him.

His stomach was nonexistent, there was just the tightly stretched skin curved inwards. His ribs were literally skin and bones; he could run his fingers along the cavity between one rib and the other. His hipbones jutted out and they were so sharp against his skin Percy actually feared they'd cut it. Nico pulled himself away violently, nearly toppling off the side of the couch before scrambling off it and covering himself again. Percy just watched him in disbelief.

"Th..Nico, there is no way I just saw that." Nico shifted his weight, his arms crossed protectively over his chest.

"Nico," the son of Poseidon started, standing to move closer to the smaller boy, "you've been eating! I've watched you! And you haven't been getting rid of it either! So what. Is. Going. On."

"Ifentbenting." Nico muttered, refusing to look at the boy across from him.

"Use English!" Percy snapped, immediately regretting it when Nico cringed.

"I was!"

"Well what did you say?"

"I SAID I HAVEN'T BEEN EATING!"

The silence was deafening and endless before Nico apparently couldn't take it and continued. "I tried, I tried so hard because no one wants to deal with someone like me. Everyone has their own burdens, no one wants to have to carry someone else's too. No one wants to deal with someone this sick," he spat the word out, his tone acidic, "and why should they have to? I'm literally good for nothing, nothing, but causing people problems, and everyone knows it! Camp knows it, Olympus knows, even my own dad has told me before! I can't do anything right, I can't even be a normal person right. I'M FUCKING USELESS AND I WANT TO DIE!"

Percy wanted to cry, but it wasn't his place. It was Nico's, and even though he wasn't crying, he looked like he was about to.

"Nico, I-"

"No SHUT UP! Shut up shut up shut up! I don't deserve you being nice to me, I don't deserve you even fucking dealing with me! Every time you say something it makes things worse! Just shut UP!" Nico let himself drop to the ground and curl up into a ball, his hands wrapped around his head as he sat there, but Percy still couldn't hear him crying.

The son of Poseidon walked over to him, and, when Nico made no signs of protest, he bent down and hugged him tightly, kissing the top of his head and rubbing his back, where he could trace out the path of the boy's spine.

He could literally feel his heart cracking as it broke.

Percy continued to soothe the boy, rubbing his back and rocking him in his embrace, kissing his head and eventually he even began to hum. It took a long time before Nico began to gradually calm down, his breathing slowing into shallow breaths with the occasional hiccup. He squirmed a little bit so as to wipe his eyes, and Percy kissed his forehead, then the tip of his runny nose, then his swollen lips.

"I made a promise," Percy whispered, finally speaking, "and even if it's going to be difficult, and sometimes it may seem hopeless or a waste of time or we may just feel like giving up, I'd be honored if you let me help you get better." Nico sniffled and eventually nodded, defeated.

"Just one question," Percy said, and he could practically hear Nico roll his eyes.

"Yeah?"

"How did you manage not eating? Like, obviously you have, but I've been watching you. And you seemed to be eating fine."

"I was using shadow travel," Nico said hesitantly, refusing to meet the other boy's eyes. "It would usually drain me, but it worked."
Percy shook his head in disbelief. "You're an ingenious little shit, aren't you?" Nico shifted so he could dig his face into Percy's sweatshirt, and Percy could feel his smirk against his chest.

"Don't curse, Percy, you aren't a sailor."

"Psht," Percy responded, chuckling, "Like Hades I'm not." And he dug his nose into the younger boy's head of hair, breathing in the incense and pomegranate as Nico laughed.

Yea, they were going to be fine.

---

A.n.

I spoiled the ending of HIMYM for myself for this :|
AND THEN I REFRAINED FROM SPOILING IT FOR YOU GUYS. YOU'RE WELCOME.

P.s. Angry Nico, be careful, your Karkat is showing :T

As for what Nico was saying in Italian:
Io ucciderò il chiunque permesso che ciò accadesse. Uccideteli! Senza pietà = I will kill anyone who allowed this to happen. Kill them! no mercy!
and the other one is, like Nico told Percy, 'motherfucker', but the technical translation is 'those who go to our mothers ass' (Idk if they're incorrect or inaccurate my bad I had to use google translate and some site I found with a bunch of Italian swear words)

So, uh, I might write an epilogue for this, I have yet to decide. Depends.

and guys, please review this if you like it. This is probably the most difficult thing I've ever written and I'm proud of it and you don't understand how happy you'll make me to know you guys actually like it. So please.

(also this is posted on ao3 too on my account WrittenInWonderland)

ALSO I HAVE NEVER WRITTEN MAKEOUT SCENES SO IF IT SUCKS IM SORRY KBYE