Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural or Linkin Park, just want to borrow each for a chapter!
A/N: The Italics in the center are the lyrics; the Italics in paragraph form, on the left, are Dean's thoughts.
Here are the lyrics to the song Leave Out All the Rest by Linkin Park on Youtube. You should listen to them as you read!
youtube.(Take this space out)com/watch?v(Put an equal sign here)Km-WN1kLe44
Or Search Leave Out All the Rest:Lyrics on Youtube
Leave Out All the Rest
Only a couple more weeks until the fateful night when Dean would be taken forever. Sam was relentless on his search to find a way to save his big brother. Neither brother was much in the mood for anything, so at the moment they were both in a bar, sitting alone at a booth in the back. Sam typed rapidly away on his computer while Dean looked around at his life.
A song began to play on the jukebox and Dean could only think about what those lyrics meant to him, line by line:
I dreamed I was missing,
And you were so scared,
But no one would listen,
Cause no one else cared.
Sam's tried so hard to save me. I know he's scared. I am too, but I don't know what to do about that. When I'm gone, he's going to be terrified. I would be... He's the only one who cares about me, whohas ever reallygiven a damn about me. We're alone in this bar; nobody even knows our names. Who will actually care when I'm gone?
After my dreaming,
I woke with this fear,
What am I leaving,
When I am done here?
God, I am actually going to be forgotten. I never had a kid; all I had was a kid brother. He'll miss me, but will he miss me for the right reasons?
So, if you're asking me,
I want you to know...
When my time comes,
Forget the wrong that I've done,
Help me leave behind some,
Reasons to be missed.
I've probably been such a bad brother. I tried to save him from so much evil, but now I'm going to leave him alone in a world full of it. How can I possibly protect him? This isn't the way I wanted him to remember me. The brother who just didn't care about his own life. But what can I do?
And don't resent me,
And when you're feeling empty,
Keep me in your memory.
Leave out all the rest,
Leave out all the rest.
Sammy, he hates me right now... for not caring that I'm about to die. Well, the truth is I am scared to die. I'm not ready to leave. I never imagined dying so young. I knew I would die doing this job, but I never wanted it to be so soon. I need someone to remember me when I'm gone. But what could anyone possibly remember about me?
Don't be afraid,
I've taking my beating,
I've shared what I made.
Well that's for damn sure. Got the bruises and scratches to prove it. But now I'm afraid for him. He will be worried about me. I don't want him to worry. I don't want him to live in fear.
I'm strong on the surface,
Not all the way through,
I've never been perfect,
But neither have you.
Not even close. Our whole damn lives have never been perfect. But I don't think Sam sees how much I regret this life. I would have given anything to take Sam and leave along time ago if I had of known what knew now. I would have done anything to protect him from everything. I keep a brave face, but underneath I'm breaking.
So, if you're asking me,
I want you to know...
When my time comes,
Forget the wrong that I've done,
Help me leave behind some,
Reasons to be missed.
I've screwed up big time in this life. I wanted so much for you, Sammy. I only wanted you safe and happy, but I've screwed that up royally. I don't have enough time in a couple weeks to leave behind something Sam will remember of me... except what I failure I was as a big brother.
Don't resent me,
And when you're feeling empty,
Keep me in your memory.
Leave out all the rest,
Leave out all the rest.
I want him to forget all the wrongs about me, but that's my life. It's all wrong. Sam was really the only good thing in it.
Forgetting,
All the hurt inside,
You've learned to hide so well.
I never ever want him to know how much I'm hurting. He shouldn't know what I pussy I am. But, man I am dead right now. It'll probably be no different when that day finally comes. And my game face will stay on until that very moment when the life leaves me.
Pretending,
Someone else can come and save me from myself,
I can't be who you are.
I'm not only a danger to myself, but to everyone else around me. But I'm the one who has given up on me. I am the one who is just throwing it all away, throwing Sam away, and giving up. Sam, you seem so strong. You have such a great soul. You will do a lot of good in this world. You will help people in ways that I can't...
When my time comes,
Forget the wrong that I've done,
Help me leave behind some,
Reasons to be missed.
Please...
Don't resent me,
When you're feeling empty,
Keep me in your memory.
Leave out all the rest,
Leave out all the rest.
Remember me... Try... Please try...
Forgetting,
All the hurt inside,
You've learned to hide so well.
It's so hard...
Pretending,
Someone else can come and save me from myself,
I can't be who you are,
I can't be who you are...
Sam, you are such an awesome person, and I'm sorry for what I've put you through in this life time, but maybe in the next one I can make right by you. Damn song... It's just made me realize what I've done in life... nothing. This isn't a dream. I really am going to be leaving.
It was wrong. It wasn't the Winchester way, but as the last notes of the song faded away into the noise, Dean looked up and realized Sam had been staring at him.
Sam had been watching his expressions changing throughout the whole song. The brothers were close. So close that it was no problem for them to read each other's expressions, almost their thoughts themselves. Sam had watched Dean's face go from fright to sad to anguish to hurt. He had also listened to the lyrics of the Linkin Park song, and he knew every thought and every feeling his brother had during it. A tear almost escaped his eye before he quickly blinked it away.
Dean wasn't the only one screwed up.Sam was just as much of a mess as Dean was. Of course he was afraid for his brother. It was natural. If the positions were reversed, Dean would be bordering on obsessive. But Sam had also realized Dean actually believed that he would forget him. Sam would never ever forget him. He would never forget any good, bad, or totally crazy things they had done together.
And Sam expressed that very thought through his own face. Dean visually lit up.
Through the noise in the bar, it was pointless to talk, but it didn't mean the boys couldn't... or didn't at that moment.
'Sammy, when I'm gone, can you please keep me on your thoughts?'
Sam almost retorted with his mantra, "I won't let you die." But he knew that wasn't what Dean needed right now. 'I promise Dean.'
'And will you promise not to be too hard on yourself?'
Once again, Sam was about to come right out and say, "You aren't going to die," but he couldn't. 'I'll try.'
Dean was about to ask another question, but there seemed to be no need. As he gazed upon his little brother's face, he got every answer he needed. Dean was a little more at peace with the fate that was going to meet him all too soon. He couldn't believe how a simple song had brought out the emotions that he had been trying to hide his entire life.
Sam smiled sadly at his brother. Then, for the first time, gazed around at the setting in the bar. It was a lively little place; just the kind of place Dean loved to hang out in. Sam looked reluctantly down at his laptop, but upon a single glance at Dean, Sam knew what he should do. 'Pool?'
Dean's sad expression was immediately replaced with a small smirk, the old familiar smirk Sam had been annoyedwith as of late, but relished in it for once in a long time. But even through his smirk, Dean made no attempt to hide the regret he was feeling at that time, the regret in his heart that only Sam would be able to recognize.
Dean got up, Sam closely following. "Who up for a game? Double or nothing on what's here? What do you say?" Dean yelled over totwo bigger biker men having a game. Looking at the brothers, smiles appeared on their faces at their luck. They could run these guys clean just from looking at them. The two men nodded.
Dean turned slightly back to his brother. 'Thanks,' he thought to Sam.
Sam nodded his head. Letting his brother take the lead in the game, letting him enjoy this night.
But the lyrics sang over and over in Dean's head at all the prospects of his death. But what could he do about it?
...The End
A/N: The beginning was written exactly how I wanted it to turn out, though the ending was a bit different and even a bit weird. I hope it was Ok though. And if you have highspeed Internet I really recommend you listen to the song as you read. They are really sad when you think of Dean's future. I hope you enjoyed and please leave me a review. I wrote this story in an hour, so I need to know how I did. Thanks all!