I'm really excited to be writing this. I decided to write this so the wait for Super Smash Bros Wii U and 3DS will seem shorter. I hope you all enjoy, and I will update when I can!
Smash Corp
Chapter 1- Tears Fall and Heads Fly
"ALRIGHT, EVERYONE SIT THE FUCK DOWN!" a large turtle screamed at his employees. All of the Smash Cast winced at the sound of his voice as they sat down. Every time he spoke, there was just a better chance that another limb may be lost. They were in a large meeting room. Motivators, courtesy of Bowser, were everywhere on the walls around them; designed to instill fear in the very depths of people's hearts. Dr. Mario, Bowser's, as he liked to call him, his Stitch Em' Back Together Guy, leaned against the wall, frowning. He knew what was likely going to happen. "Now then, as you all know, I am Bowser, your boss, of Smash Corp. I am here today to tell you-"
"Oh for Nayru's sake, you go through this every God damn day," Link said, leaning back in his seat. Bowser's eye twitched. "We already know who you are, we know you hate us, just tell us why we're here-"
"DON'T FUCKING INTERUPT ME, YOU PIECE OF HORSE SHIT!" Bowser ripped off Mario's arm. Kirby began to cry.
"Why-a did you r-rip of my arm?! It was-a Link!" Mario said, as tears of pain streamed down his eyes. Bowser sent a very disturbing smile toward the plumber, who was more red than usual.
"Now then," Bowser began again, "if we won't have any more interruptions, I'd like to make a very special announcement."
"Ooooh! Is it floor ice cream? I could really go for one right about-"
"DON'T FUCKING INTERUPT ME!" Suddenly, Mario's head was on the other side of the room. Dr. Mario simply sighed. "Nobody cares about your damn disgusting habits. And nobody cares about you. Now shut the hell up or I'll take that bow of yours, and insert it into an opening in your body that things should never go into." Pit gave Bowser a very sad look. Kirby bawling intensified. "Okay. So help me God, I'm gonna say what I need to say. And if you interrupt me, ANY OF YOU, I'll talk to Sakurai about sacking you for the next game," everyone gulped, except Mario, who was…well dead. "And that's why you're all here today. Today, Mr. Sakurai, my boss, sent us a video of the next Smash. You all know how this works." Suddenly, Toon Link began to sink in his chair, knowing what his future will likely hold. "It's actually trailer for Super Smash Bros 4! And whoever is in the shitty video will stay here at Smash Corp. Those who aren't….." Bowser stared directly at Jigglypuff, and then darted to Toon Link, smirking, "will pack whatever shitty belongings I didn't steal yet, into their bags, and get the hell out of my domain! NOW SIT AND WATCH THE FUCKING VIDEO!"
The trailer was magnificent. Various people were cheering. Samus sat in her chair, simply nodding. Link had fallen asleep during the trailer. Donkey Kong was so excited that he pooped on the floor, and was throwing it wildly in all directions. Pit was flying around, singing. Pikachu was dancing and cheering, much to everyone's enjoyment of the adorable yellow mouse. Kirby's tears dried up. Fox was twirling his gun, stating how he knew he'd be back, and that they couldn't get rid of the coolest fighter.
"Now wasn't that just….amazing?" Bowser wiped away a nonexistent tear. "But here's the best part: EVERYONE WHO WASN'T IN THE TRAILER, GET THE FUCK OUT, NOW, OR DIE!"
"Bu-but, you can't fire me!" Toon Link stumbled on his words, crying. "How can you replace me?"
"Like THIS!" Bowser yelled. He leaped into the air, pouncing Toon Link. Bowser grabbed him by the leg, and threw him out the wall, sending him seven stories below. A pool of blood began to flow from his body gradually. "Now I suggest you all get out before I really start to have fun…" He pulled out a flame thrower out of his shell.
"But why do you need a flame thrower if you breathe fire, sir?" both Ice Climbers asked at the same time.
"DON'T QUESTION MY MAGNIFICENCE." Bowser torched them to ashes. All of the sacked Smashers started screaming and pushing over anything in their ways to get out of their nightmare. "Now then, ALL OF YOU GET BACK TO WORK, NOW." Marth was bellow, viewable from the Toon Link shapped hole in the wall, skipping.
"Oh Gods, YES. I'm FINALLY FREE FROM THAT HELL HOLE!" Bowser launched a desk at Marth, killing him.
"You didn't tell us what our jobs are yet, you idiot… It changes every game you know…" Samus said.
"Well Samus, for once, you are actually correct. Now everyone, get back to their fucking offices. You are to brainstorm ideas for new fighters! I want someone NEW. Someone I can rip to shreads…. Mmmm…" Bowser licked his lips. This scarred Kirby for the rest of his life. "Contact many people from various games. MAKE them try out for this game. Besides, I haven't had fresh meat in a long time. Mario doesn't exactly have the same flavor anymore." Dr. Mario shot a dirty look at Bowser.
"Y'know, this is a really-a hard job-a," he said.
"Do I fucking care? You work for me because I can't just have my employees die all the time. I've got things to do, like do things to those pictures of Peach—er cooking! I, uh, cook….food?" Kirby's mouth started to drool. "NOW GET TO FUCKING WORK, YOU BITCH ASS IDIOTS." Everyone stop their celebrating, finally. Pit however, because he flew longer than five minutes, plummeted; his wings on fire. "Ah Pit. My most favorite 14 year old angel in the whole world," Bowser picked him up by his white scarf, putting out the flames before they did any real damage. "I have a VERY special job for you…." Pit looked at him cheerfully, beaming. "You are to contact Mega Man and Villager. Tell them they are now employed!"
"Yes! I can't wait to meet them! They seem like really cool guys! Besides, I'm always up for some new friends!" Pit skipped in his step. However, this was just disgusting in Bowser's eyes. He quickly charged at Pit, grabbing him by his tunic, and threw him out the glass door, shards spreading everywhere. This caused his tunic to fall off, leaving only his black tight pants and tank top.
"Oh, that's TOO GOOD. Not only are you girly and you skip, but you wear tight clothes too. OH MY GOD, BWA HAHAHA!" Everyone started to laugh, as if on cue. Pit started to turn red.
"S-stop! Everyone! This is my uniform! I wear it for Lady Palutena…" tears started to form in Pit's eyes as he dashed to his office.
"And that is why he's my favorite. So easy to mess with. So easy to get into his head. And that's what all of you will be like when I'm done with you this game….Ooh, this'll be a great time..." Bowser stroked his flame thrower. Kirby threw up from fright.
And that's the first chapter. There will be many more to come. If you have any constructive criticism, that would be great, as every bit helps! I just love Bowser's character. He's just totally off the wall, obnoxious, and just plain wrong. Also, if you have any suggestions, I will definitely have a look. Reviews are also nice!