AU/OOC story. Research Question: Does using the How to Win a Girl's Heart List written on the boy's locker room really work on any type of girl? Test Subject: Kagome, brainiac extraordinaire. Chosen Data Collector: Inuyasha, the unfortunate one. Background Info/Conclusion: Koga and Miroku, the sidekicks. Fluff and nonsense alert.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything.
Warning people, when I read this, it didn't even make any sense to me!
Prologue: The Official 'HTWAGH' Guide
It should be easy really.
You know, getting her to date him.
Using a bunch of 'steps' written on a bathroom stall no one uses and eventually, break up with her.
He read it and he even used some of the stuff written on there. And he knew it would work like a charm already. It was sorta different this time around though, he didn't like this particular girl in that way and he barely even spoken three words to her.
…
Okay, it's not like he didn't feel bad about it. He wasn't as heartless as people made him out to be, but he had his pride and dignity at stake here, once Inuyasha Takahashi decides to do something, Inuyasha Takahashi doesn't back out. He was thinking about making her like him just enough to be boyfriend/girlfriend but not enough that he would break her beyond repair when he eventually reveals like this was all, in fact, a ruse.
He's still working on the mechanics of that though. There's a very thin line in there and so far, he hasn't found it yet.
The girl is Kagome Higurashi.
Who else really?
Some minor info: Kagome was pretty average. Black hair and brown eyes and she's short too. Not really the kind of girl you would look at twice.
She also had a guard dog for a best friend… Sango was it? Inuyasha vaguely remembered that that was the name of the girl Miroku was obsessing at currently. Great, that should make the task even easier. That was complete sarcasm right there. Their relationship consists of Miroku consistently trying to grope her and Sango slapping him (or knocking him out, whichever works best for the situation). Sango's not really a big fan of him and his friends at the moment. And Inuyasha's thinking Kagome would follow Sango's advice regarding anything.
Another question the readers may be asking.
Why her?
She's nothing spectacular.
Mostly just because she was passing by right at that moment they decided to try it.
It was all written down on the boy's locker room. The school officials never checked the boy's locker room ever. There were over seventy listed down on the first stall, but they knew they weren't going to do all of them. Most looked ridiculous that they would never even try it.
Come on, they were the popular guys at school, of course they had girlfriends. It would be like a crime for them not to.
Inuyasha glanced down once again at the crumpled piece of paper on his desk, his gold eyes darting back and forth to the girl on the farthest seat on the right and back to the paper with chicken scratches for handwriting. It was two pieces of notebook paper stapled together. The front page saying 'The Official HTWAGH Guide' and the next one saying this:
Welcome dear readers,
As of now, you are reading the first page of the official 'HTWAGH' guide made by yours truly and two of my very dear friends Dog Wonder and Wolf Monger. Oh, I'm the 'Gorgeous violet-eyed hunk' by the way. You are probably a beginner if you're reading this, so we'll start out with some easy steps.
Since we are only testing this, we don't guarantee that you actually will get the girl. And if you don't, please blame our data collector, Dog Wonder, for screwing up the test. Since it is a proven thing and we're just doing this to actually prove it.
To make it appear completely random, the girl we've chosen for the experiment is the first girl who walked right passed by us the moment we decided to do this.
PS: This is based on and inspired by the list on the boy's locker room at Shikon High School, room 110. BUT, instead of filling you in all at once, I'll gradually explain it through the... er, book. We'll be spending a lot of time together, eh?
Let us begin….
Rule, Experiment, Example, Note, Step… (Dude, we should totally work on this later) #1
Compliment the 'Girl'
What kind of girl doesn't like to be complimented? This is the easiest rule, experiment, example, whatever. If she doesn't respond positively then 'Girl' is not human at all. Actually this doesn't even count as a rule, it's like a fact. It's a known thing and –
… Are girls even really human? *Squiggly eyes right here*
If this was an anime show, a huge sweat would appear at the side of his head right now. They couldn't even decide on what to call the steps (he pitched in the step idea so he was going to use that one). Was he really friends with these people right here? Or to be more specific, Miroku Hoshi?
"Do front and back," Mr. Imoto said, snapping his attention back to reality. The teacher was handing out the papers to the front row to pass out to the people at the back. "Talk to me after class if you want some extra credit worksheets because we don't have enough time. Remember, I only give out extra credit once in a blue moon, so seize the opportunity."
He groaned inwardly when he looked the paper over, the numbers are not even making any sort of sense at all.
Calculus is kicking his ass.
Inuyasha should've known Higurashi would take that extra credit bait. That girl inhaled knowledge like freaking clam chowder.
He tapped his shoes once, twice somewhere around thirty times.
Then she came out. He practically turned to stone when she turned the other way.
"Higurashi," he called out before she got too far. Practically known her his entire life and he's still at the last name basis. He and Kagome had been classmates ever since preschool, he never knew one class that he had without Higurashi in it his entire life.
So like any other polite girls in school, Kagome stopped to look at him dead center in the eye.
Now, he hasn't actually even looked at her face to face before. He realized nervously that she kinda resembled Kikyo. Well, not really in way. Kikyo was more ice princess than nice next door neighbor.
Minor background info, Kikyo was the biggest crush he ever had and the only thing he ever got knots in his stomach for. Well that's not true considering he got knots when he has pop quizzes all the time.
But now he's on his way to add this girl on to the list too. Kikyo, pop quizzes, and Kagome Higurashi.
Inuyasha wondered if they were related somehow. Cousins, he guessed?
"Yeah?" She raised her eyebrows. Inuyasha mentally slammed his head against the wall, he didn't realize he had been staring at her for almost two minutes. "Do you need anything?"
"Homework," he blurted out.
It wasn't his fault he had a puppy crush on Kikyo.
"What about it?" she inquired.
"Do you have any extra extra credit worksheets?" Extra extra credit?
If Kagome found that weird, she didn't show it. Instead she just shook her head. "I don't, but you can go back there, I'm sure Mr. Imoto has a few more copies."
"Um, yeah, yeah, thanks." He bobbed his head. Repeatedly. He was starting to see red dots.
She was about to walk away again before he called her name.
"You look…" He can just imagine a huge hole swallowing him. "Nice today," he finished lamely.
Her eyes widened incredulously, but smiled nonetheless. "Thanks… I guess. You don't look too shabby yourself."
Before he could get another word in, she turned around and proceeded to walk towards her locker where Sango was waiting.
Real smooth, Takahashi.
No one would believe you're the most popular guy in school now.
"You look nice," Miroku deadpanned. "That's all you had to say to her?"
"Not really, I also asked her if she had any extra extra credit worksheets." Inuyasha slammed his head against the table, for real this time.
Miroku shook his head dramatically. "Dude, you're totally ruining the plan!"
He lifted his head. "We don't even have a plan!" Inuyasha growled.
His best friend pouted. "You could've at least made your compliment more elaborate… like your hair is like the shining night sky or whatever."
Inuyasha glared at the boy with violet eyes. "No one ever says that," he said. "And I froze." Because she looked remarkbly like the girl I'll never ever get. There is no way he's ever going to say that out loud.
Miroku grinned anyways. "Are you still going through this?"
"Of course I am," he answered.
Koga whistled before gobbling down five french fries. "I just have a feeling that you picked the wrong girl."
"We didn't pick her," Inuyasha continued, "We said that we would try it on the first girl that walked pass by us."
"Wasn't it Mrs. Hirasagi the lunch lady?"
"Technically," Miroku pointed out. "Mrs. Hirasagi is more of an old woman rather than a girl."
The three boys accepted that explanation and shut out the subject
"Seriously though, we've known Kagome for a long time and I have never even seen her wear skirts before, or even go to a party. And as far as I know, she's never had a boyfriend either. She's a tough cookie to crack."
"Isn't it supposed to be tough walnut to crack? How would you even crack a cookie?"
A vein popped in Koga's forehead. "Shut up."
"So what?" Miroku said. "Lots of girls here have never had boyfriends before."
"I think that it's going to be really hard… harder than some people."
"Are you saying I can't do it?" Inuyasha frowned. He never ever liked to be mocked.
"Another thing I find weird is how she's related to Kikyo."
"Is she really?" Inuyasha asked. He tried not too sound a little bit too much curious but his two friends knew what he actually meant.
Miroku blinked. "You didn't know?" He looked flabbergasted. "You had a crush on that girl for two years and you had no idea that Kagome was her younger cousin?"
"Obviously not," Koga answered for him. "It's not like he had a chance anyway, Kikyo dated that weird dude, Naraku, who had spider obsession all throughout her junior and senior year. It's kinda weird that you're trying to score with the younger cousin of your unrequited love."
Inuyasha frowned. "It's not like I'm going to marry her."
Miroku's fist slammed on the table. "Oh my god, I heard that they're planning to get married! My mom is friends with Kagome's mom who heard from her older brother that they're planning to get married this summer and planned their honeymoon to be somewhere in Bermuda. It's hard to imagine what their kids would even look like!"
"He's okay," Koga said. "Creepy as hell, but okay."
"Do you guys realize that you two gossip worse than actual girls?" Inuyasha said dryly, cutting their conversation entirely.
"Er.." Miroku and Koga immediately returned to eating their own respective foods and stayed quiet.
Inuyasha groaned. Was he actually friends with these two idiots?
Sadly, the answer was yes.
"Can we just work on step number two?"
That's it for now, folks!
BTW, I just made this for fun!
I'm also sorry for the grammatical errors in there. Commas are not my friends and I don't have a BETA reader.
Thank you for reading 'The Handbook' although I'll probably think of a better title later on and I hope you enjoyed it!
R&R!