Finding the Coeur

By Robin Gurl

(Um this is my first UtaPri fic. I was looking through the game wiki and saw that Syo had a heart condition and a missing (from the TV series) younger twin and got all excited and had to try and write on it. LMAO. So this is the result. It takes place sometime at the end of season 1 before they make their debut…um…yeh. I guess it readers want it to be it can be Natsuki/Syo but that's all that's in there. Well to my eyes anyway. xD

It's sort of funny Tokiya is my favorite character over all…but Syo is my favorite to write on. Weird how that stuff works out. If people like this story I do have another one where I continued the hurt and comfort after it all if people wanna read it. My friend and I enjoy writing these sort of stories because we're sadistic like that. )

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the idea to mix the game and the show together.

Natsuki was starting to get worried. It was already 10 am and typically Syo was up and outside jogging by 8am. It was his "super fighting technique" that he stuck to daily. Even if it was the weekend, Syo didn't miss a day…unless….he got up and walked over to the bed where Syo was sleeping. Was his condition acting up again? Last time it had acted up, Syo had trouble just getting out of bed because of how weak he was. "Syo-kun!" Natsuki gently shook his shoulder hoping to wake him. "It's getting late, you need to get up!" He got no response at first and sighed. He saw that Syo's face was pale and his body covered in sweat. He decided to try once more to wake Syo up. "Come on Syo-kun I have the prettiest dress to put you in! You'll look so CUTE!"

Syo groaned in his sleep before weakly sitting up rubbing his eyes. "Fuck y-you." He looked over to Natsuki, his eyes were glazed. He leaned over panting unable to catch his breath. He couldn't breathe properly - it hurt to inhale. One of his hands pressed against where his heart was on his chest to try and ease the pain. It didn't see to ease it at all.

"Is it that?" Natsuki asked gently trying not to rile him up.

"Yeh…damn it…why today?" Syo grumbled falling back into the pillows. His entire body felt heavy, it was hurting to breathe. All he wanted to do was sleep. But he couldn't. They had a photoshoot to attend at the Amusement Park. He couldn't miss that.

"Syo, I can call and let them know. If you can't do it they'll understand."

"NO!" Syo flew up then doubled over tears streaming down his cheeks, his hands shaking and gripping his shirt. "…f-fuck…" He croaked hoarsely.

Natsuki quietly got up and walked over to Syo's closet digging around one of his duffle bags before pulling out a blue emergency kit. He rummaged through it pulling out a syringe. He hated having to stick his friend but he knew Syo wouldn't back down from this and would go even if it killed him. "Syo-kun~ ! " He said lovingly sitting back down on the bed. He pulled the young boy towards him hugging him. "It's going to be alright, you just have to promise me to take it easy."

"P-Promise..w-what?" Syo's eyes opened briefly then widened as he cried out in shock. The needles were thick because of the medicine and even though he was used to them it still hurt, a lot! Especially he wasn't prepared for it. Slowly the pain in his chest lightened and he relaxed in Natsuki's arms trying to calm his breathing down. A few more tears, more from relief than pain, rolled down his cheeks. "D-Damn…this is so fucking embarrassing."

Natsuki blinked and looked down, "What is? You were born with this, Syo-kun…you can't just pretend you're not sick."

"No one can know! You promise me!?"

"Syo-kun, take it easy. I already promised you. No one but you, me and your brother know about your condition. But I promised Kaoru that I'd take care of you."

Syo didn't move from Natsuki's arms, he felt safe and protected there. He didn't want to move - at least not until his mind stopped racing. Each time this happened, his life flashed before his eyes and he got this over whelming fear that this was it, he was going to die this time. His stomach was still aching from the anxiety and he was still feeling sick.

"Do you need to throw up, Syo?"

Syo blushed bright red burying his face in Natsuki's side. "M-Maybe.." He then sat up and staggered to the restroom down the hallway.

Natsuki only sighed watching him leave wondering what he was going to do about the photo shoot later on. Typically after these attacks he had to take it easy the rest of the day…which usually meant bed rest. No writing or singing music, no loud music, just naps and watching movies. Though today he couldn't do that. The tall blonde got up and grabbed three more syringes from the medical bag and put them into his own bag that he was taking just to make sure Syo didn't pull something stupid and forget them.

The walk over was slow, Syo was having to rest every other block. Each time he sat down it took him 10 minutes to get back up. Natsuki knelt down in front of him, "Syo-kun, let me call Ren…he's got a driver who can pick us up."

Syo shook his head wheezing, sweat running down his face. "N-Not giving in.." Tears pricked his eyes out of frustration. "T-They can't know.."

"Why not? They need to know, they are our friends after all…"

"I-I don't want Nanami t-to worry…." Syo blushed looking down at the ground. "Ahh…nnghh..haa..haa..ow….i-it..it hurts…." His breathing was more labored than before, his hand went back to his chest, fingers clenching his shirt.

"Who said she has to know? This is just the band today from what I've heard." Natsuki stood up and pulled out his cellphone. He dialed Ittoki's number and waited. "Otoya? Can you ask Ren to have his driver pick us up? I-It's a long story." He looked down worried over the youngest band member. "Just hurry. I'll explain when we get there." He then knelt back down and reached up wiping some of the tears away. "Syo-kun, you're allowed to cry if it hurts, you know that right?"

"N-No..I-I can't…have t-to be strong.."

"You are being strong just living with this condition." Natsuki said tilting his head smiling.

Syo opened his eyes slowly and looked at Natsuki, his breathing still labored. Tears welled up and he fell out of the chair into Natsuki's arms crying, his body shaking. He knew this was bad for his heart and the pain felt worse…but he'd been holding it in for so long…since the entrance exams when he said good bye to his twin..only his twin, until now, had seen him this way. Stupid Natsuki, pulling this out of him.

Natsuki wrapped his arms around Syo hugging him hoping this would ease his pain at least a little.

The black limo appeared at the photoshoot, the four boys jumped off the stage and walked to meet it. Ittoki beat them to the car and watched as the driver got out and opened the door. Ren appeared behind him wondering why Natsuki had insisted a driver pick them up. "Natsuki?" He watched as the tall blonde got of the car then turned towards the vehicle and leaned in pulling Syo out, this time not as rough as he usually did, almost gently.

Syo appeared leaning against Natsuki not as cheerful as he usually was. Something was wrong. The youngest band member was pale, his cheeks flushed, eyes heavy, his blonde hair usually styled perfectly was a matted mess. He wasn't even trying to fight Natsuki.

It was Masado who stepped forward. "Natsuki, what's wrong with Syo?"

"Take the bags." Was all the tall blonde said. His tone wasn't as playful as it usually was. It had dropped an octave and sounded serious.

The other teen took the bags and backed up not sure what else he could do. Ittoki appeared beside him, a look of worry on his face too. Ren and Tokiya exchanged worried glances as well. They all watched as Syo tripped over his own feet, his face clenched in agony. Natsuki caught him in mid fall and just gathered him up in a cradle carry.

"F-Fuck..i-it's..h-happening…a-again.." Syo wheezed not even noticing that the others were there. One hand was grasping his chest the other clinging to Natsuki's shirt. His breathing was labored and hoarse.

"I told you to just calm down on the way over here." Natsuki said sighing. "Is there a place we can lay him down for a short while?" He looked up seeing everyone's expressions of sheer terror and worry. He smiled weakly. "He'll be alright…he just needs to rest."

Behind the stage where the photoshoot was going to be held, Syo had been laid down on a futon mattress that was going to be one of the props. The rest of the band were sitting around him, on chairs, on the ground, wherever they could. It was Tokiya who spoke first, "Natsuki, what the hell is going on? Is Syo ill? Do we need to take him to the hospital?"

Natsuki looked down then back at Tokiya, "If it gets worse, yes..a-and it's not so much of an illness…I guess. Syo was born with a heart condition. If he gets too excited or startled his heart starts to physically hurt and it hurts to breathe, usually ending with him collapsing. Most days its just being careful with what he does…but sometimes ..like today…he just wakes up in pain and nothing that we do fixes it."

"Why is he here then? He should be resting." Masado exclaimed.

"I tried. He insisted we be here. I gave him a shot with medicine to help the pain and it eased it temporarily but as you can see it came back." Natsuki shrugged sighing.

Ren sighed standing, he laughed looking down at Syo, "How childish, thinking he could get through the photoshoot as he is."

"Ren, that's uncalled for." Tokiya shot back. "He's giving this debut his all and I think it's commendable that he's trying, though dangerous as well."

"If he can't handle a simple photoshoot then how will he handle a concert?" The other teen asked glaring at Tokiya.

"Not everyone is ready to give up their dream as easily as you, Ren." Masado broke in hoping to break up their fight before it got started.

Ittoki was the only one asides from Natsuki that seemed worried for Syo's sake. "He just ..I've never seen him in so much pain. Do you have any more medicine? Can he take anymore?"

Natsuki nodded and opened his bag, "If this one doesn't work then we will have to go to the hospital…I won't lie, he can die from this if not properly treated, its not something to play around with …and Syo is young still…he thinks he's invincible…he hasn't learned that he's not yet…"

"So he just takes some medicine and he'll be ok, right?" Ittoki smiled happily.

"Not quite that easy." Masa motioned to the syringe in Natsuki's hand.

Ittoki visibly paled, "That looks like that hurts."

"J-Just f-fucking stick me…I-I can't b-breathe…" Syo responded clinging to Natsuki, his breathing heavy.

Masa was the only one who could watch without turning away. Natsuki took the cap off and stuck the needle into one of the shaking arms. Syo gasped trying to hide the pain he was feeling but this time it felt impossible to do. He just buried him face in Natsuki's side hoping no one else would see him cry. Natsuki patted Syo's head affectionately and gave him the biggest smile he could muster, "Almost done Syo-kun!"

"That just sounds way too painful." Ittoki responded making a face. "But then I hate getting shots."

Tokiya sighed, "Natsuki, I'm going to cancel the photoshoot. They will understand. He needs to be caring more for his health and less of this shoot."

Syo pulled away wide eyed, "NO!" He wheezed having to use Natsuki to support his weight. "I-I can do it! I know I can!"

"I never said you couldn't." The other teen knelt down beside Syo and Natsuki, "I learned this lesson the hard way as Hayato. You need to learn as well but it's not worth learning if it kills you in the process. Part of learning and maturing is to know when to face reality and step down."

"T-Tokiya.." Syo whispered blinking. He sighed letting go of Natsuki's arm, his breathing was slowly getting back to normal for now. The pain was still visible on his young features. He hung his head embarrassed, "I-I think I need to go see a-a doctor…t-todays just one of those b-bad days…" His cheeks were bright red.

"See - that wasn't too bad was it Syo-kun?" Natsuki asked smiling ruffling his hair. "You are so cute when you blush!"

Syo only glared weakly unable to retort back. Tokiya ran off to go cancel the photoshoot and as he left Ittoki bent down, "Wanna ride?"

Syo blushed bright red grumbling but reluctantly nodded. "Y-You tell anyone about this I'll kill y-you…" Natsuki helped lift him onto Ittoki's back.

The red head turned towards his side smiling, "That sounds more like the old Syo! Don't worry once the docs look at ya, you'll be good as new! Now you have to tell us if you are in too much pain and we'll stop and rest ok?"

"Why are you guys even caring about me? I-I would have thought you'd thrown me to the side and found someone else.."

Ren chuckled placing a hand on Syo's back, "It's what friends are for. Now rest, don't over excite yourself again."

Masa nodded agreeing, "For once he's right. This band is our family and families take care of one another."

Syo smiled weakly before resting his chin on Ittoki's shoulder, his eyes heavy as they started to close. He drifted off into an uneasy sleep. Natsuki sighed, "I just hope he really is going to be alright. His brother and I have always watched over him and we had hoped that he had maybe out grown it."

"He's got a brother?" Ren asked intrigued as they exited the park as a group.

"They are twins. Kaoru, is his name, he wants to go into medicine to help find a cure for Syo."

"Twins? Really? That is interesting." Tokiya said catching up with them. "And I doubt with his condition that he'll ever grow out of it.." He eyed the youngest band member who was comfortably curled up on Ittoki's back sound asleep from the ordeal.

"Hehe, another Syo…I wonder if he's as hot headed.." Ittoki said jokingly.

"May I ask why we are walking over the hospital? Won't it cause unneeded attention?" Masa asked randomly. "What if people see us outside of the school."

"Are we that famous yet? I sort of figured we were still mostly invisible…" The red head responded winking back at Masa. "Or is it that you are just too lazy?"

"Besides, Syo-kun is so cute curled up like that!" Natsuki clapped his hands together. "It makes me want to hug him so tight!"

"Hold off on that until we know he's alright." Tokiya ordered.

Syo awoke in the hospital many hours later, a heart monitor had been hooked up to his body and a tube had been inserted through his nose to help him breathe. He tried to sit up but felt too dizzy, the doctors must have drugged him as usual. He looked around the room surprised to see all five of the guys in various positions, all of them asleep but Masa who was reading. "Y-You stayed…" Syo croaked with surprise.

Masa looked up and closed his book. He silently reached over and poured a glass of water handing it to Syo. "You've been out for nearly six hours. The doctors said if you hadn't come in it could have been fatal." Syo's eyes widened as he took the water and sipped at it slowly. "You are getting various medications to help quell the attack and tomorrow if you feel up to it we can take you back to the dorm where you can rest."

"But the shoot- the practice!" Syo protested.

Masa only shook his head pulling his chair closer. "Tokiya was right at the park, we aren't going to kick you out of the band. You need to rest up so when we have our debut you can be there to be apart of it and sing. As it is now you can't do much of anything."

"T-That's a lie! I'm strong! I know I am!"

"Have you thought of the trouble you are causing your loved ones? Natsuki? You worry them so much without so much as apologizing for it."

"Of course I care for them." Syo's heart monitor started to beep and Masa pushed him back into the pillows. "I-I care for them more than anything."

"You are a strong boy, Syo-san, I've seen you in action and while this attack surprised me - I don't think any less of you as a person nor that you are weaker."

"Yeh, I'm strong…its just my stupid heart that isn't.."

"Your heart is strong. According to your file you weren't supposed to live past the age of 12? You are 16 now? I consider that strong." Masa held up the file. Behind them the guys slowly started to wake up at all of the commotion. "Strong doesn't always mean strength, Syo, it means being able to push through hard situations and being able to move on and learn."

Syo looked up at Masa then back down at his hand where the heart monitor is. Natsuki hurried over and sat on the edge of the bed hugging Syo to him. "Auggh! Natsuki! N-Not so tight!"

Natsuki only continued to hug him, "I was so worried, Syo-kun! The doctor said…"

"I know, Masa told me everything. Hey guys…um..I'm sorry …f-for making you all worry ..and for having to watch me be an idiot…." Syo mumbled embarrassed pulling away from Natsuki. He looked over at the tall blonde, "Thank you, Natsuki for t-taking care of me…and everyone else for staying…I-I'll do my best to watch myself from now on…"

"S-Syo-kun.." Natsuki said shocked.

Syo laid back into the pillows smiling as bravely as he could, "Don't worry a-anymore Natsuki…" He turned his head to look at his best friend. "I-I'll be ok now…the medicine is going to help."

"We called Shining and Ringo…they said to not worry about school work and only worry about getting better" Tokiya appeared behind Natsuki. "So that means there is no excuse to taking care of yourself."

"The Nurse drugged you pretty heavily," Ren commented, "So just lie back and take it easy. We'll stay as long as we can."

Syo nodded, the EKG hooked up to his chest was slowing down showing he was relaxing more. Natsuki sat down where Masa had been sitting and held Syo's hand. "See Syo-Kun, its all ok."

Syo squeezed back giving a weak smile before drifting off into a drugged sleep.

"I can't believe there isn't a surgery or a cure for his condition yet." Ren commented quietly, his eyes on the youngest band member as he slept.

"There is," Masa opened up the file again. "It's an open heart surgical procedure that would take 16 hours and can only be performed in America. According to what this says, his condition is too severe and it has a high probability of killing him."

"He's talked about it before but he's just too scared to try it and well you can't blame him. He said he'd rather just live with it and try to work with what he's got." Natsuki explained. "The doctors agreed with him, he's supposed to take medicine every day for it but once this school started he's been too busy and has forgotten a lot."

"Well, that is unacceptable." Masa crossed his arms. "From now on, I will keep him on a strict schedule."

"Yeh, sure, I'll help remind him as well!" Ittoki cried out. "And we can put it in his phone!"

"Or stuff is down his throat if he won't do it quietly…" Tokiya commented smirking.

Ren just laughed shaking his head, "I guess it's settled then Natsuki, it's not longer just your burden to bare any longer. It belongs to Starish."

Epilogue

It had been a week before Syo was released from the hospital. A lot longer than planned, but the doctors wanted to make sure he was going to be alright since he nearly died before. He had strict orders for another week of bed rest and then after that to take it easy. And the other band members had strict orders to watch over him, not just from the doctors but from Shining himself.

The day he was released the rainy season in Japan had just started and today was no exception to that rule. As the Nurse wheeled him out in the wheel chair he saw a black car at the front, Ren's driver was standing next to it. Syo sighed embarrassed – did they really have to go that far? When they got closer the guys started to exit the car. Natsuki ran over to him with flowers, "Syo-kun~ I got these for you!"

"N-Natsuki…t-there was no need for all of this.."

"Walking home in the rain wouldn't be the best idea." Ren said stepping out, his driver holding an umbrella over his head. "Not to mention you can't exactly stand right now as is. The doctors told us everything, remember?"

Tokiya ran over and opened an umbrella holding it over Syo's head as the nurse smiled and bowed and left. Natsuki bent down and gathered Syo up in his arms, they were protected by the umbrella Tokiya was holding. Syo was unable to protest the treatment he was receiving and could only grumble. He was sat gently into the car noticing two of the band members were missing. "Where are Ittoki and Masa?"

"Fixing up our dorm room!" Natsuki said happily sliding in beside him. Ren and Tokiya followed.

"Your room was inadequate to say the least," Ren explained. "Masa did research on your condition and so is cleaning your room accordingly."

"Guys! This is too much!" Syo exclaimed wishing immediately he hadn't done that. The pain reappeared briefly and he sat back in the seat panting.

"Syo, take it easy. Another out burst like that and you will be back in the hospital hooked up to all of the wires." Tokiya sighed. "And this is easier on all of our minds if we know we at least did something to help. We want you in the band and if that means changing a few things around to make it where you can be, then why not?"

Syo only grumbled but found himself relaxing. It was a nice feeling for someone else to be caring for him for a change. He curled up turning towards Natsuki and lay his head on the older blonde's arm. His eyes closed by themselves he was so exhausted- he just wanted to sleep.

He woke up when he heard a door slam. He sat up noticing he wasn't in the car anymore and that he was being carried. He didn't know which was more embarrassing – being carried by Natsuki inside or being wheeled inside in a chair.

"Otoya," Masa's voice came from the side of the room sounding annoyed. "You woke him, I told you if you were going to help to be quiet."

"Hehe, sorry, the wind blew it shut! It wasn't me I promise!"

"Wow, our room looks so clean!" Natsuki exclaimed happily. "It smells so fresh and almost new! Masa-chan did an amazing job!"

Syo looked around quietly just trying to get his bearings back completely. He reached up noticing for the first time that there was an IV still in his hand. He groaned, they forgot to take it out. He started to prepare himself for pulling the needle out when a hand covered his own. He opened his eyes and saw Tokiya. "Stop that, if you pull it out, we'll never get it back in."

"B-Back in? I want it the fuck out! It's a needle you know!" Syo exclaimed weakly.

"Yes, it's an IV. You're required to be hooked up to one for the next week or so. It's pain medication and sedatives to keep you from trying to over do it." The other teen explained motioning towards the set up by the bed. "Ren and I were worried that you'd break free and escape and not heal properly so he and I spoke with the doctor."

"They've never done this before!"

"Yes, well." Tokiya winked. "As Hayato, I still have my connections. He owes me a favor as it is."

"Fuck you Tokiya!"

"Syo-kun, calm down!" Natsuki said. "All of this will help you get back on your feet faster." He walked over and laid Syo down on the fresh sheets covering him up. Behind him Masa hooked up the IV following the instructions the nurses gave them before Syo was discharged.

Syo started to protest the treatment hoping to regain what little dignity he had left when the new drugs entered his system. Sitting up left him feeling sick to his stomach and dizzy, his vision was blurry. He fell back against the pillows trying to glare at his friends but he was falling to the drugs too quickly to snap. "N-Not fair.."

"Just rest, Syo-kun…we're here. We're going to make sure you follow the doctor's orders this time." Natsuki stayed sitting on the edge of the bed watching the youngest fall asleep. Syo weakly reached for his friend and Natsuki smiled holding the out reached hand. "Don't worry, it's for your own good…"

Behind Natsuki the others started to settle down pulling out their new music from Nanami and started to write lyrics. Unknown to Syo, the band was serious about caring for their youngest member, whether or not they verbally expressed concern.

Before Masa joined the rest to write his own lyrics, he finished his cleaning and redecorating by hanging up a big schedule written in bright blue as to when Syo would need to take his medicine. He had already programmed each of their phones to ding and remind Syo if he didn't follow through. As well as counted the pills and made a tally in his personal notebook of how many were there. He was going to count them himself once a day and make sure Syo wasn't lying to them.

This time there was no way Syo could forget.

Beside the bed on the table was all of Syo's school work, Ittoki and Nanami had gone around to the teachers and asked for the assignments and had gathered their own notes together to combine a study guide to help him pass. They had even gotten permission for him to have the ability to retake the tests when he was able and had gone further to allow Ittoki to record the classes on tape so Syo could still attend the lectures.

Tokiya had used his influence to get all of the information they would need to care for Syo through out the healing process and beyond. They had enough medicine in IV form until he was able to get up and walk around again. He was also trained by the Nurses in how to see when Syo was in pain but trying to hide it. Later that afternoon everyone was going to receive a lesson on how to see it as well.

Ren had arranged a doctor to be ready on call if they needed the assistance. Each of the band members had the number in their phones and Masa had reportedly inserted it into Syo's phone as well.

Natsuki had informed Syo's twin brother of what had happened but had reassured him many times that everything was now under control. Kaoru had thanked them all numerous times via phone for caring for his older brother and that if they needed his help to just call.

Nanami was staying on the sidelines this time as much as she could, she was happy to see them all work together to care for one of the team. She had been worried originally that the band idea wouldn't work because they wouldn't step off their pride to work in a group. Now she was excited, as soon as Syo was able they would start to choreograph their song for the big debut. She stood silently at the door watching and listening as they collaborated on lyrics and watched over Syo as he slept recovering. After a while she finally started back to her own dorm room to start writing more songs.

Maybe this band would work out after all…