Note: For this fic, Helena is not and has never been pregnant. Sorry, Helena! I love you, Helena!
Helena didn't know why Sarah wanted to meet at Beth's apartment, but the text had been clear. If Sarah was in danger, she had to help.
The back door was unlocked - Sarah must have already arrived. She stepped through into the kitchen and instantly felt a knot form tight in her stomach. She hadn't been here since…
Anyway, she was better now. That's what they told her.
"Sarah?" she called out.
There were footsteps, and then from around the corner, there was a woman. Not Sarah. Someone else. Dark clothes. A mask. And a gun, pointed straight at Helena's head.
"Where's Sarah?" The words jumped out of Helena's mouth. Immediate, like a reflex.
"Sarah's not coming," the woman said. She had an accent. Her voice was shaking.
The message hadn't been from Sarah. A trap. But if this woman had come alone, then she'd only trapped herself.
"Who are you, little sheep?" Helena growled. "You are very brave or very stupid, I think."
Helena felt the weight of the knife in her pocket. Only about fifteen feet between them. If she wasn't dealing with a trained shooter, she could easily close the distance. She ran her eyes along the woman's arms, saw they were trembling. It felt achingly familiar.
"You have not killed before," Helena said sadly. "You should not start. It can be hard to stop."
"Ania Kaminska," the woman blurted out. It hit Helena like a bullet to the heart.
"Danielle Fournier. Aryanna Giordano. Janika Zingler." Bang. Bang. Bang. The woman swallowed, voice dry. "Katja Obinger."
Helena dropped to her knees, surrendering. If this was it, it seemed fitting it would end here, just a few feet from where she had...
"Do you recognize these names?" the woman asked.
"Yes," Helena said softly. The woman raised one hand away from the gun and pulled off her mask. She had their face. Another sister.
"Do you have anything to say?" she asked. Her face shone with sweat.
Yes. She had so much to say. A million words that flickered through her mind in every waking moment, in every dream, in every nightmare. Regrets she carried with her, a ball of lead in her stomach.
"Do it," Helena said and left it at that.
She closed her eyes and tried to imagine what came next. It wasn't too long ago that she had believed in something else - a place of light and peace and singing and angels. Just another lie the nuns told. She found herself wishing that someone had told her another story. Something, anything, to replace it. All she had now was… nothing. The gun would fire and then she'd be gone. Lost in endless, hissing black. It scared her. It had probably scared her sisters.
She waited for the bang. She heard something else instead - a door slamming open.
"Mika!" Sarah's voice. Helena opened her eyes in time to see her rounding the corner.
"Shit," Sarah said, seeing Helena kneeling on the floor. "Shit shit shit."
"You shouldn't be here, Sarah!" the woman named Mika yelled. She struggled to hold the gun steady.
"Mika," Sarah said, calm and quiet. "You can't do this, okay? She's one of us. Just like Beth. Just like Niki."
"No," Mika spat. "She killed us. So many of us." Mika's face caught the light, and Helena saw the scars. She saw the look in her eyes. Mika had lived through pain too.
"I know you're angry, that you need someone to blame. But that wasn't Helena. The Proletheans, they used her. Her entire life, they were making her into their holy bloody weapon."
"Then that's what she is. Someone else will come along with another convincing lie, and she'll turn against us again. She's not like us."
"You're wrong, Mika," Sarah said. She turned to look at Helena, making her stomach flip. "She's been hurt more than any of us, but she still… loves. She loves with everything she has. She's the kindest person I know, and I-" Sarah's voice caught in her throat. She breathed in and out. Helena saw a tear hit the floor.
"Maybe you're right. She's not like me, " Sarah said, nodding. "She's better."
"Sarah," Helena said softly. She had let herself get caught up in the moment - her sister, her hero, rushing in to save her. But she needed to stop this.
"It's okay," she said.
Sarah shook her head.
"Shut up," she whispered.
"I always knew I was not deserving of this. Of being happy." Helena choked back tears. She needed to be strong. It would be easier for Sarah that way. "You will say goodbye to everyone for me, yes?"
"Helena, shut up."
"Don't worry about me, sestra. I'm not scared to die," she lied.
"And what about me?!" Sarah screamed. Her face was wet, eyes swollen with tears. "What am I supposed to do, huh? Did you even think about that? All my life, I knew. I knew that something was missing."
"That was you," she said, pointing. Almost accusing.
Helena looked down at her knees, hiding her face. A switch had been flipped, and she was weeping.
"We only just found each other," Sarah said. "You can't go. Helena, I love you."
Drained, she crumpled to the floor, quaking with loud sobs.
"Mika, please," she whimpered. "Put down the gun."
The pistol rattled in Mika's quivering hands. A small trickle of blood fell from her lip where she was biting down. Slowly, she lowered her hands, her eyes fixed on Helena. And then, the gun was gone, back into her pocket. She scrambled to put her mask back on.
"I'm sorry," she mumbled as she turned away and slipped past Sarah.
"Oh, God. Helena," Sarah cried. She crawled and stumbled her way over to her, and then her arms were around her sister.
"You alright?"
"Yes," Helena said in a daze. "I love you too," she added.
Sarah laughed, bright and warm, into Helena's ear.
"I know, meathead."
Sarah's hand gently stroked her sister's hair, snagging at the tangled parts.
"It's not true, you know," she said softly. "That you don't deserve to be happy."
Helena pressed her face into Sarah's shoulder. She tried to believe it.
A flash of white caught her attention. She looked up and saw Mika in the mask, watching them with hollow eyes, then saw her scurry away.
"Wait!" Helena called out. "Please!"
Reluctantly, she pulled away from Sarah, pausing to help her to her feet. Mika was still there when she turned the corner, frozen in place with her hand on the door handle. A frightened lamb.
Helena put on her most gentle face, holding her hands up as she approached, until there was nothing between them. Close enough to see the eyes behind the mask, wide with fear. They were the same height, but she looked so small.
"It's nice to meet you, sestra."
Helena moved carefully, draping her arms around her. Her new lamb-sister. She felt vibrations in her bones as Mika shook against her, then saw her hand drop away from the door. She heard her start to cry.