Disclaimer: Nope. Gundam Seed and Gundam Seed Destiny ain't mine at all. By the way, the song isn't mine either. It's Avril Lavigne's. The song is called, "My Happy Ending".
a/n: Hello, me again! Surprised, again? Yes, I got VERY pissed off with Athrun Zala during episode 28 of Destiny. Hey, I may not be able to watch it, but I saw the summary and screenshots. And now I can't believe what happened. He's more worried about Shin than Cagalli? He blocked Kira from PROTECTING Cagalli? That guy is such a jackass! Um…ehem. Well, this angst fic will tell you more about what I think. Enjoy the angst!
So much for my happy ending…
Oh…oh…
"Are you sure you're okay, Cagalli?" Kira, my twin brother, asked me for possibly the millionth time.
"I'm fine, okay?" I said calmly. "I'm fine, Kira."
"Well, I'll leave you for a while," he said. "Gotta go check on the ship." He went out the door of my quarters, which quickly shut after he exited.
I sat on my bed and remembered what happened a while ago.
Athrun…it's as if he never cared at all, I thought.
Let's talk this over
It's not like we're dead…
Why did he even have to go back to ZAFT in the first place? I wouldn't have to fight him if he never left. And he told me…he would be with me till the end, I thought.
Was it something I did?
Was it something you said?
He lied, I know. And for that, I was angry at him. But mostly, all I wanted to know was why he did it.
Don't leave me hanging in a city so dead…
Tears streamed down my face before I could even think about holding them back. Was it because I decided to marry Yuna? But I only did that to take away the anxiety of my people. Doesn't he understand that?
…held up so high on such a breakable thread…
I looked at the ring I was wearing. The ring Athrun gave me. Looking at it brought back more memories, more pain, and more sadness.
You were all the things I thought I knew
And I thought we could be
"Athrun," I said wistfully.
You were everything, everything that I wanted
We were meant to be, supposed to be but we lost it
All of the memories so close to me just fade away…
You left me. I thought you would come back. You lied. You LIED, DAMMIT! I screamed in my head. You said you would protect me, but you blocked Kira when he wanted to do what you were supposed to do.
…All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending… oh, oh…
My tears went down fast, and I couldn't will myself to stop. If Kira saw me like this, he would start playing twenty questions. Which would be quite annoying, wouldn't it? I thought.
But no matter what I did, my thoughts would always dwell back to Athrun.
You've got your dumb friends
I know what they say
They tell you I'm difficult
But so are they
Did he care too much that he was a Coordinator? So he would choose ZAFT over us, any day of the week, that bastard, I thought bitterly.
But they don't know me
Do they even know you?
All the things you hide from me
All the shit that you do
Flashback…
Kira's speaker was was on, so I could hear the words he told Athrun while he sliced up his Gundam.
"You…" He sliced off the Saviour's left arm with his beam saber. "…Don't know how much…" he sliced off the right arm. "…Cagalli's been suffering. You don't know how much she's been crying…" he sliced the right leg, then the left. Athrun didn't make a move to stop Kira. "…because of all the people who died. Because she thinks she can't do anything about it. And because of YOU! She won't talk to anyone, but I know. And now I'm only trying to do what you used to do. So don't you dare stop me, because you don't give a fucking damn about her!"
I couldn't say a word. My mouth was dry. My mind was frozen. So I just watched. Watched as the Freedom cut off the Saviour's head. Watched as the only thing left of Athrun's Gundam was his cockpit.
You were all the things I thought I knew
And I thought we could be
I decided to lie down on the bed and faced away from the door. If Kira comes to check on me, he'll think I'm asleep. Hopefully he wouldn't come in, I thought. Hopefully.
But I continued to sob silently. How couldn't I? The people of ORB needed a leader, but was I really one? Now they were in danger because of me. I was their representative, and I had tried my best. But it didn't seem to be good enough.
Worst of all, Athrun Zala didn't seem to give a thought to it, or to me, I thought ruefully.
You were everything, everything that I wanted
We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it…
I had always imagined what life would be after the war. I imagined Athrun helping me out when there were just some things I couldn't do by myself. We'd live in a quiet place.
But of course, that fantasy was not going to come true. Not for me at least. I wouldn't live happily ever after with him.
…all of the memories so close to me just fade away
All this time you were pretending, so much for my happy ending… oh, oh…
For the first time today, I smiled, even a little.
Thanks for giving me the illusion if true love, Athrun, I thought. I was fooled pretty well. I will never be able to forget you. I'm not sure if I'm even going to get over you. I'm just wondering… did it ever hurt you? It seemed so easy for you to rejoin ZAFT without much hesitation.
It's nice to know you were there
Thanks for acting like you cared
And making me feel like I was the only one
It's nice to know we had it all
Thanks for watching as I fall
And letting me know we were done
I knew that by going back to ZAFT, he was telling me that our relationship was over. But deep in my heart, I really wished that wasn't it.
Thinking about that made me cry even more. I knew I would never forget him. I can't. I can't!
I realized that I'd been breathing heavily.
"No, I'm not gonna break down because of him," I whispered. "Athrun, I don't know you anymore. To me, you're just another ZAFT pilot in a mobile suit." I then took off the ring and placed it under my pillow.
You were everything, everything that I wanted
We were meant to be, supposed to be but we lost it
All of the memories so close to me just fade away
And all this time you were pretending…
Just then, the door opened.
"Cagalli?" Kira said softly.
I sat up. He saw my tears, which I didn't even bother to wipe off.
I hugged him. I cried. He told me everything would be all right. He was the perfect brother. At least, for me.
…so much for my happy ending…
Oh…oh…oh…oh…
a/n: By the way, I just made up the flashback. I hope the fic's okay. Please review. Hope you like my first angsty songfic!