ON THE OUTSIDE, LOOKING IN.
A/N: Just a quick one-shot/drabble that came to mind contemplating tomorrow's episode, after seeing the clip between Felicity and Diggle. I tweaked it a bit.
I'm new to writing for the Arrow fandom, and hopefully it isn't too awful. Reviews and feedback would be greatly appreciated. Thank you!
She was having a shitty day.
Usually, she could compartmentalize pretty well but today it just wasn't happening.
Their lingering touches and half smiles when they thought the rest of the team were otherwise occupied were extremely hard for her to ignore.
A part of her was hell bent on holding on to her denial but her predominantly analytical part had the internal alarm's blaring. That same part told her it was time to finally get her head and heart out of la-la-maybe-it-could-happen-someday land.
For a genius, she sure was pretty stupid when it came to Oliver Queen…Oliver and his screw-anyone-but-her dick.
Helena.
McKenna.
Laurel.
Isabel.
Sara.
Not Felicity Smoak.
Nope. She was relegated to the shoulder zone and that was it.
And it wasn't as if the hurt she felt was brought on because she was out rightly jealous. Jealousy, she could handle.
This…inadequacy was not.
Computers were her thing. The only thing of value she brought to the team, the thing she was most proud of - and Sara had showed her up there too.
Was she even needed here anymore?
Damn, but she could kill for a pint of mint chocolate chip right now.
"Felicity?"
Diggle's voice brought her out of her reverie and she realized he must have been trying to get her attention for awhile.
"Sorry, what?"
"Everything okay?
"Oh yeah, sure. .Setic."
Diggle's eyebrow arched and she fought the urge to squirm beneath his penetrating gaze.
After a few excruciating moments Dig glanced over to where Oliver and Sara were walking up the stairs. He waited till the door closed behind them.
"I know we haven't talked about it, but it can't be easy for you."
No, no, no. They were not doing this. Not here. Not now.
"There's no reason it should be not easy Dig."
He sighed heavily.
"You're really trying to pull that with me? I mean, I know I'm not on your genius level -"
"Don't." She demanded, rising dangerously close to her loud voice.
Dig leaned in closer, his arms folded across his chest.
"What's the deal?"
"This," She gestured to the bank of computers. "Is me. Only this. I don't mean that's all I am. I mean, I know how to do other things…obviously; it's not even possible for someone do only know how to do one specific thing. Geez, what a waste of a brain that would be." She rambled. "Here…that's what I'm good at. That's why you guys drafted me in, why you let me stay against your better judgement…but now…now it's like that was what I was good at. Why would you need me here when -"
Felicity cut off as her eyes started burning.
Diggle leaned forward, his face serious. "We need you here because you're irreplaceable. No one else here can do what you do."
She snorted.
"You're just saying that because you don't want to her stuck behind a desk doing mundane work when she could be out kicking ass with you guys."
Dig shook his head angrily.
"I would never call you, or think of you or what you do as 'mundane' and for all Oliver's faults…and mistakes, you know he wouldn't either."
Shame coursed through her.
"I'm sorry." She said, "I guess, it just feels like I'm back on the outside looking in. I'm not good with that feeling."
"No one is but Felicity; you gotta know you belong here. You belong here."
"Thanks Dig." She said shyly.
"Come here."
She stood up and he enveloped her against his massive frame.
"You give good hugs Dig."
"Damn straight."
Felicity smiled in his arms, and even though she knew she still needed to work some things out for herself, that she had to reconcile the changes and what it meant for her personally she felt better knowing that she wasn't really on the outside.
She was part of the Team.
THE END