I can't believe I'm even doing this, speed dating. Not just speed dating but speed dating for bisexual people. I sigh as I pin my number to my shirt looking around at the number of people here. Makes me wonder if they're as lonely as I am. What am I saying? Why else would we fucking be here? I tried dating websites but I swear all people want to do on there is fuck. Like is it so much to ask for a decent conversation before we get to that.
Some people here look like they don't get out much while others look like they get around too much. Something about the way they carry themselves and the look in their eyes like they have seen a lot, done a lot. I have been selected as one of the people who will sit down instead of traveling from table to table. I always wondered how that works. I get seated at the small table wondering what is in store for me since they had a bigger turnout than I thought they would. Before I know it, things are starting. The first person to my table is this girl who looks beyond nervous.
"Hello," I greet.
"H-Hi," she stammers sitting her seat. "I-I'm Rebecca." She has long wavy brown hair and is really pretty. I like that is not wearing a lot of makeup. She is running her fingers through her hair.
"How are you?" I ask hoping to break up her nerves.
"I'm fine," she replied. Okay well, I tried, let me get down to business.
"How old are you?" I ask.
"I'm 25," she replied. "You?"
"26," I replied. "What do you do for a living?"
"I work in a doctor's office but I am also going to school to be a doctor," she grins. All right, I like her so far. I can work around her being shy, she seems to have her head on straight. "What do you do?"
"I'm a PR for a furniture store," I reply.
"What does that mean?" she asks.
"I ensure everything looks good on their social media, ads, things of that nature," I explain.
"Oh," she replies softly. She tilts her head. "Can I ask you a question?"
"Of course," I reply. I'm glad to see that she is even willing to ask me questions.
"Is that your real hair?" she asks.
"Yes," I reply trying not to get annoyed. People ask me is my red hair real, like is your skin color real, the fuck kind of question is that.
"Your eyes too?" she asks. I nod yes as she is annoying me but not enough to reject her. "Sorry I didn't mean to be rude. I have a thing for redheads." This causes me to laugh. Okay, she just made me happy. "Your curls are super cute too." God bless her heart because I can't stand these fucking curls.
"I see," I reply. I chat with her until our time is up. I write her number down getting ready for the next person. It's another girl and I didn't like her at all. We had nothing in common and that's okay. Plenty of people for me to weed through tonight. The next person I get is a guy, an overweight guy. I don't have a problem with that but he looks so smug. He is wearing a tee shirt with jeans, nothing too fancy.
"How you doing?" he asked sitting in the chair.
"I'm doing good," I replied.
"Name's Cartman" he smirks. "You?"
"My name is Kyle," I reply.
"That's pretty plain," he states. I glare at him knowing this is not going to go well. He is sitting there turning his nose up at my name, what kind of name is Cartman?
"Hmmm…" I reply before starting in on my questions. "Age?"
"Old enough….." he replies. Smart ass. "Let's cut to the chase here. I need someone is who going to be there for me when I need them to be. Cook dinner, do a little cleaning, suck my dick on the regular, you know the usual." Is this guy for real? I cross my legs folding my arms.
"You can stop talking," I reply. "This is not going to work."
"You're not going to even try?" he asked clearly offended.
"Hell no," I say harshly.
"Should have known you were stuck up," he states bawling up his fist before slamming the right one on the table. He is the one coming over here with demands but I'm the stuck up one. I look away from him refusing to talk to him any further, I have had enough. I'm so glad when the timer goes off. I go through a few more people and none of them are right. I don't know why I thought this would go well. Maybe a part me was hoping deep down that it would. I'm burnt out and still have another hour of this shit. This guy sits down across from me. He looks so out of place compared to the others I have seen. He is wearing a tee shirt I guess. He has a flannel short sleeve shirt on top of it with some dark jeans. His hair looks light and fluffy as if he just blew dried it.
"Hey," he says casually.
"Hey," I reply. He smells so good, like freshly washed laundry. Smelling clean is certainly a good way to start.
"I'm Stan," he replies before laughing and looking down. He looks back up with his blue eyes burning into mine. "God this so weird."
"What's weird?" I ask.
"Being here," he states looking around before looking back at me. "Doing this….."
"First time?" I ask.
"Can you tell," he laughs. He makes me smile because he sounds like he is not trying hard at all. I'm not sure if he is trying to or not but it's welcomed. "I'm so nervous. Like a bisexual speed dating, I didn't even know it was a thing."
"Right!" I agree. "So how old are you?"
"I'm 26," he replies. "I'm a football coach for South Park High School but I really want to be a coach at the university here in Denver. Have to build up my resume first."
"Did you play?" I asked. He sounds so passionate about it.
"Yeah," he replies. "I was a safety."
"Safety," I reply. "I'm so use to people being a quarter backer. You're the first person I met that has played a safety. Defense, you must be good at it." He looks impressed.
"You know about football?" he asks.
"I dabble," I reply shrugging. "I'm more into basketball but I do like to watch a lot of sports."
"Cool," replies Stan. "What do you do for a living?"
"I'm a PR for a furniture company," I reply.
"I don't know if I could handle that," says Stan. "I'm not a big social media person but you look like you're good at it." I chuckle glad that he even knows what my job is.
"How do you know I'm any good at it?" I asked.
"The way you handled Cartman," he replies with a short laugh.
"Oh my god," I exclaim. "You know him?"
"Sadly," says Stan rolling his eyes. "We grew up together. He's not so bad."
"Dating wise for me he is," I reply. Stan laughs.
"What do you like to do for fun?" he asks.
"Depends on what you mean by fun?" I ask him. Soon as he starts to blush I realize how bad that came out. "S-sorry I wasn't talking about sex." I look away from him feeling completely embarrassed.
"It's fine," he says softly. "I like to pretty much go to the bar, get a couple of drinks. Every now and then I like to go to the arcade. I like camping, fishing, and hiking. Don't get me wrong I also like to hang out at home too but you know….but a little lonesome lately." I do know what he means. I hear the bell go off and I'm almost mad, I wasn't done yet! "It was nice meeting you, Kyle." He looks at me one last time before going to the next table. I see a pretty blond sit down in front of me covering up Stan's clean scent with this god awful perfume. I try not to be rude and listen to her.
A few more people later and I excuse myself when one of the girls is talking. She sounds superficial and now is the perfect time for me to go to the bathroom. I could have waited for the short recess but fuck that. I see Stan outside the bathroom texting on his phone. I should just keep going but I walk up to him. He jumps when he sees me.
"Dude you scared the shit out of me," he states grabbing his chest with his free hand, phone in the other.
"Oh sorry," I replied. "You okay?" Stan sighs.
"I really don't want to go back out there," he replies running his hand through his hair. "This is not working out."
"Then don't," I encourage him. I feel sad that he didn't feel a connection with me. He sounds like he is ready to get the fuck out of here. "Just walk away from this, I tempted to ditch myself." Stan begins to smirk. "What?"
"I will ditch if you come with me," he says. I let out a little laugh.
"You can't be serious," I reply.
"You suggested it," says Stan clearly amused. "Are you backing down? I will buy the first round of drinks." I look into those blue eyes and my decision is made quickly.
"Let's go," I reply. Stan and I both use the restroom before sneaking out the back door. I'm laughing as I push Stan lightly. "God I'm a grown man and you have me sneaking around."