The winds were blowing strong this night. Samwell Tarly was gradually ascending the stairs of CAstle Black, his breaths becoming more labored with each step. He was not payed enough for this shit. In fact, he was not payed at all. This job kind of fucking sucked. So, as Sam reached his dearest friend Jon's door, he noticed that he didn't hear the usual telltale scribbling of Jon's quill or cawing of JOn's crow WINK WINK. "Jon?" he questioned loudly frommbehiind the door, not sure if he should intrude on anything, as he had once mistakenly done before. He shuddered at the distant but ever so fresh memory of when he clearly assumed that Ygritte was hurting Jion, as groans of pain seems to endlessly emit from the room. They were not fighting. Fuck my klife Sam thought, as he decidly opened the old oak door. What he happended upon was a Jon incapacitated on the hard stone fllor surrounded by his quills and parchment. Jon was not asleep, his eyes in fact were half closed, but redshot. He must be tired from his sleepless night tohught SAm obliviously. Ugritte is dead. Maybe Jon was crying because he was a little bithc. Haha thought sam litle bitch. No that's your best friend Sams ,mind said. Stepping on one of the pieces of parchment, he remove from uner his foot and his eyebrows knitted together as he tried to decipher what the fuck was on that paper.
DeAr FaThE, WHYYYYY do You LEAve Meeeaaaahhhhhhh ThE WiGHtz r attkING WaiT HaaHAHAHAS iTS JUSt Umuuuuuuumm GOdssdammiTT WHat IOOHHOHH ItS SHMOST Godod Boy I miss You Dab, LoVE SNON
WHAT THE LITEREALLY HELL thought Sam. Better wake this bitch up. Jon was shirtless, but was had a [elt slung across his shoulders. Sam shook Jon gently, and hard. "Wass goin on?" slurred Jon. "Jon, there are new recruits. You need to brief them! What's wrong?" "I"m just so hungry. Whhaaaaaat? Wait what are recruits? How do you do them? Isn't that the Lord COmmander's jon?" "JON, you are the Lrod Commander you piece of shit!" "OOOOHHHHHH my godds I remember. The freefolk gave me this herb. They said it would help me realize my full potential. I think I had a bit too much, Sam" "Well who cares you gotta go now homie. Go be a man!" Jon put on the world's first pair of sunglasses and stood up. "Hell yeaaaaah"
"Welcome to training, assholes! Do guys want to know somethings about me? My fa,ily is dead! And my grilfriend! OHHH yeah that's right Snon Jow. Now, the first thing you need to know about the wall is that you donb't talk about the wall. The second rule is that you do talk about he wall. GET IT? IT"s like FIGHT CLUB? Just kidding there is no way i even know what the fuck that is."
"Sir, when are we going to start training?"
Jpon stared him down with a grave look, which quicky turned sexual. "Who's this guy over here? He looks like me. I WANT HIM"
Jon pulled the recruit over to him and made him his bitch. "Alright, time to build the WAll!"
"Sir, isn't the WAll already built?"
"Ooohh shit oh my god yeah sorry sorry I was like what when did this get here its so big yknow that makes sooo muh sense that like we made that. Were spoo cool for making that! Hey where's SHmost?"
Sam blinked "Dpnt you mean Ghost"
Jon turned aroudn and stabbed Sam in his neck "oh my god sam why are always such a prick. JUst take a chill pill"
"You're all gonna do great! Now let's start takin down this wall!"