"I will now call up Mr. Peter Van Houten for kind words on Hazel." The priest spoke. I waddled up to the stand and lay the pages down in order. I hoped I wouldn't mess this up.
"Hazel was beloved by everyone, and someone very special in particular. Hazel was with a boy named Augustus Waters who osteosarcoma, he died a year ago. Before he died he wrote to me asking me to write a eulogy for when Hazel died and gave me details on how much he loved her and things about her, on account of I was not close to her. I never in my wildest dreams thought I would have to do this so early. I didn't know Hazel very well, last year she came to Amsterdam with Augustus to visit me at my humble home. At the time, I do admit, I was unstable. She came to me seeking answers about her favorite book Imperial Affliction, which I am the writer of. I was so unstable I couldn't give her answers, she called me a drunk and stormed out my house. It never really fazed me until after Augustus died, what an impact she had. Her words got to me more than my own can to any reader. Because of Hazel Grace I changed my ways, and I am thankful to her for it. Now I give to you what I think Augustus would have said, had he been here today." I spoke. I then grew nervous, I knew this is what everyone wanted to hear.
"I remember the day Hazel Grace had told me she loved me, I was incredulous, I was surprised, more surprised than when I found out the way Imperial Affliction ended. One time Hazel told me she was grenade and that she would blow up. The only thing she blew up was my heart; my heart ached for her, beat for her. She was a grenade to me. She left an impact like a grenade on everyone. Our trip to Amsterdam was the most magical trip I had ever taken anywhere. It was a trip that I will forever remember in the most solemn of times. I hope that in the depths of Somewhere we can reunite. I find myself no longer fearing oblivion, because it is inevitable. I am eager for oblivion because I will be in oblivion for her. You all are probably starting to get bored now, that's the way funerals are right? Dragging on and on with endless sadness that you cannot help but to bore out. Last final thing, Hazel Grace will always be with me and in my heart forever. My thoughts and dreams of her are stars I can't fathom into constellations. She gave me an infinity in a number of days and I can't tell you how grateful I am for that. Thank you."