Ah! Hello! I have successfully dug a hole of I'm fucked. Eh… this is an idea I had while looking for something fun to read. Badass Jaune away! I also wanted to change Jaune's origin a little bit so you'll see what I mean soon. Also chapter names are lyrics from songs so yeah…
I don't own RWBY, Final Fantasy, KIngdom Hearts, Legend of Zelda, Soul Calibur, Percy Jackson or Gurren Lagann.
I will never repeat this okay.
Jaune's Young Cleaver is the Cloud's Buster Sword
Jaune's Kindling Fire is Sora's Keyblade
Jaune's Evil's Bane is the Master Sword
Jaune's HPSR(High Powered Sniper Rifle) or Punisher is Yoko's sniper
Jaune's Sorrow of Heaven is the Soul Calibur
Jaune's Soul Reaper is Kronos's scythe
Jaune's Speed Cure is Shulk's Monado
Chasing your tail and it drives me crazy.
Ironwood
I had just gotten out of a war meeting and I was walking out when I heard crying. I walked behind a building a followed the sound. I reached a dumpster and, looking inside, I found a young boy, with blue eyes and blonde hair. He couldn't have been much older than a few weeks. He was strapped to an ancient shield and I assumed that this was his.
I reached inside the dumpster and brought the child and shield out. I originally intended to just put him up for adoption, but when his little, chubby fingers, grabbed my much larger ones, my heart melted. I would raise this boy and spoil him rotten.
I walked out of the alleyway carrying the boy. One of my soldiers noticed me, "Uh… Sir, what the hell are you carrying?" He asked.
"A child… my child. His name is Jaune Arc, after the legendary hero," I said.
"Okay, sir," The soldier said dubiously.
Time skip three years.
"Meet your new friend, Penny! I made her just for you!" Daddy said.
"Hello, Jaune, I'm combat ready!" Penny said.
"Hi, Penny," I yelled happily.
I then proceed to chase her. We ran around laughing and I tried to catch her. I saw Daddy smiling at this scene looking truly happy.
Time Skip five years
"Do I have to?" I whined.
"Yes, you have to go to school. It's so you can kick ass! C'mon don't you want to be a badass?" Daddy asked chuckling.
"I don't even have a weapon," I pouted.
"I think I shall change that," Daddy said pulling out two batons, like the ones used in races.
"Um… those are metal cylinders, short ones at that, not very good weapons," I said utterly confused.
"Oh, just give em a flick," Daddy said with a smile.
"Okay…" I said taking them from him.
I flicked the yellow one and it turned into a… KEY? well it was a sword key thingy, so I flicked the black baton and it turned into a sniper rifle.
"Cool, ey?" Daddy said.
"Hell yeah!" I yelled, I picked up a few words from Daddy.
"Okay off to school with you," He said.
"Bye Penny!" I yelled waving to Penny.
Time Skip! Four years.
"Ha ha! Can't catch me Weiss!" Penny yelled laughing.
Weiss lunged for her, but missed. Jaune was watching Weiss trying to catch Penny. It was fruitless, I wasn't going to tell her, though, in all of my years with Penny I have only caught her two times.
"You mother- you b- AH!" Weiss yelled.
"Can't catch me!" Penny yelled, dodging farther back.
Weiss, in a last ditch effort, dove for her. Penny jumped out of the way and Weiss landed face first into the ground.
"Dammit!" Weiss yelled as Penny and I laughed at her misfortune.
Another Damn time skip(sorry mates, I need to do these.) six years.
I was sparring with my teacher today. This was to see if I was going to graduate early or not.
I ran at him and drew a pocket watch and clicked the button on top. It shifted to a huge sword, it was six feet long and two holes near the handle, why? I have no clue.
I slashed at my teacher forcing him to jump back and halt his attack. I dropped the sword carelessly and pulled out a yellow baton and flicked my wrist and out of it came my sword that I have named Kindling Fire. I ran in and swung over and over. This sword was really lightweight and easy to get many hits off very fast.
I reached into my pocket quickly and pulled out my pocket watch again and turned it into my sword Young Cleaver. I thanked my father for my magic satchel enhancement it allows me to pull anything out of nowhere. I delivered a powerful slash and sent him flying backwards. I then pulled out my black baton, flicking it and it shifted into Punisher, my sniper, and I began to shoot at my teacher who couldn't move.
I drew Sorrow of Heaven from the sheath on my back and ran at him. I jumped up and hit one last, devastating, blow. His aura was far in the red and I backed up.
"I reckon that I won, ey?" I said.
"Yes, damn," Was all my teacher said before he passed out.
Time Skip two years.
"Beacon, huh?" I asked Dad.
"Yup, you've had your time off, I figure that you should start at the best academy in the world," He said.
"Sounds, awesome, I'll start next year, Penny and I have a few more places to go!" I said excited.
Laughing Dad agreed.
Time Skip one year(probably the last one)
I was on a dust plane, I hate dust planes. The first time I was on one Penny and I got violently ill and threw up, a lot. After that day, I never took dust planes, always found another way. I looked over at Penny and she was breathing in and out, quiet green.
"Nearly there, Penny," I said reassuring her.
"Please be soon, I can't fucking stand it much longer," Penny said.
"Don't worry, bolts," I said.
"What did I fucking say about that?" Penny said pissed, completely forgetting about her motion sickness.
"Well… um… damn," I said.
"Well?"
"Um… don't do it?" I asked.
"Bingo, bitch," She said.
I always joked with her that she took after Mrs. Schnee, cusses like a sailor. Maybe because he was a sailor. I decided to point this out.
"You aren't better, you talk like that too," She said.
"Yeah, well you can go fuck yourself," I said.
Everyone had been watching us bicker.
"Do you know how to speak to a lady?" said a mysterious voice.
"Kind of," I said.
This second year stepped forward to slap me. She was tall and wore the most badass sunglasses that I have ever seen. I also saw her carrying a handbag, and if I have learned anything from Dad's work is that the handbag shifted into a weapon of some sort.
"Why do you treat this innocent woman this way?" She asked.
"Innocent, what the fuck is wrong with you?" I asked laughing.
She smacked me again, "Apologize,"
"Who are you, Mom? Then again Mom just told me to go fuck myself…" I trailed off when I noticed the woman looked at me, mortified.
"Mom was pretty funny," I said.
"How awful of you to insult your mother like that?" The woman asked me.
"Pshh, Mom would cuss out everyone," I said,
"You have to be kidding,"
"Sure," I said.
During this whole affair Penny was laughing her ass off.
"Go fuck yourself, Project-357 AI," I said.
"Oh, it's on Jaune Arc Schn- shit, shouldn't have said that should I?" She asked.
The second year just stared at us.
"Hey look, we've landed!" I yelled and ran before that nutty second year could follow.
I walked at a normal pace when I was far enough away that the nut bag wouldn't be able to find me. Penny, using her homing beacon, found me quickly.
"That was funny," She said.
"Yes it was," I laughed.
"You little, insufferable, whore! You knocked into me!" Said a hard to miss voice.
"Sorry, sorry," said a young voice.
"Well looks someone got in sis's way, damn," I said.
I looked around and saw a poor girl in a red hoodie get chewed out by my sister, more like honorary sister, anyway, she was yelling at the young girl shaking a bottle of dust at the poor woman.
"Fuck," Penny said just before the girl sneezed and blew them up.
"You can say that twice," I said.
Out of nowhere came a mysterious black haired girl and she chewed Weiss out.
"Poor Weiss," I said.
"Anyways, Penny, you should dissapear, we don't want more people seeing you," I said.
"Aye, aye," She said and then used a built in invisibility function.
I walked forward and offered the girl a hand.
"Hello, are you okay?" I asked.
"Yeah, that girl was scary," She said nervously.
"Weiss can go a little bat shit insane at times so be prepared," I said chuckling.
We walked and talked and then Ruby(I found out her name) freaked out about how it was nearly time to meet up with the other students.
"Dammit," I said, "follow me, I know where to go,"
Without complaining she followed me.
We walked into the auditorium and some busty blonde called Ruby over to stand with her. I walked over with her for the hell of it.
"Who are you?" the blonde who probably had awful back problems asked.
"Jaune" I said.
"Nice name!" The well endowed blonde yelled.
"Dad named me after he found me," I said.
"Huh, interesting," The blonde said, "I'm afraid that there isn't a spot for you here,"
"In case you haven't noticed I am at least a head taller than you," I said, "I will just stand behind y-" I was cut off when Weiss stormed up.
Ruby jumped into her sister's arms as Weiss began to chew her out.
"Yang! Save me!"
I slunk away and stood out of sight of Weiss. After Weiss was done being the bitch that she can be, Ozpin began his speech about power, knowledge and other shit I didn't care about. Dad didn't think too much of Ozpin so I didn't either. Ozpin finally stopped talking and I pulled Ruby and Yang out of there as fast as I could.
"That was a lot of pretentious bullshit, it's like I'm watching the Matrix again," I said.
"The wha?" Yang asked.
"So, Jaune, I didn't get a chance to see your weapons," Ruby said.
"That's what she said," Yang said.
"Slut," I said.
"Shaddap," Yang said.
"Sure, Ruby," I said, "Why not? It'll be fun showing the weapons I'll kick your ass with," I said changing the subject, "Let's go a cafe to make my life easier,"
We all agreed and we got a table at a nearby cafe looking out on Beacon.
"Here," I said pulling out my first weapons, Kindling Fire and Punisher. I then pulled out Young Cleaver, followed by Evil's Bane and Speed Cure and finally Soul Reaper.
"Wow! You can use a scythe too?" Ruby asked excited.
"Yep, learned from Qrow's mentor," I said.
"He's still alive?" Ruby said.
"Barely, Dad created this awesome machine that lets me transfer memories, it worked really well in teaching me to use my weapons," I said, "Believe it or not I graduated school at fourteen I went exploring the world with my best friend, Penny,"
As if on cue, which it was, Penny walked past the cafe.
"Penny, you mechanical psychopath," I said as Penny walked over.
Penny walked over grinning, "Friends?" She asked.
"Yup, guys this is Penny, companion since childhood," I said happily.
"Wow! Hi Penny," Ruby said.
Penny sat down and we began talking school, weapon maintenance, etcetera. It was eventually time to go to our dorms.
Okay, so this was fun to write. Definitely here so we can get filler for Summer's Shadow. I like the idea and this will be Arkos, nothing will ever be a better pairing for Jaune then Arkos so no room for negotiation there, though other pairings could be fun to read. I have also been reading bad fanfictions with my friend and I have begun to wonder, how the hell are there so many spelling mistakes, you have fucking spell check! Anyways, I have read a lot of Jaune's a badass and a lot of them get discontinued and I plan on changing that. Also I plan on writing an Authors Note where I don't clean up any typing/spelling errors, so you can see just how much I fuck up and show you that you can use FUCKING SPELL CHECK! Also, main focus will be on JNPR, with an almost equal amount of focus on RWBY because of some bullshit system that I will come up with that allows me to do that. The song is Dream Come True by Jeff Williams.