I stand outside the dinning hall staring at the tree emblem carved on the doors. Any time I would look at the symbol that stood for the Amity Faction, which I had called home for the last 16 years, my stomach drops. My hand rests on the handles as I try to will myself to go in and join my friends and family. Today is my 16th birthday and my friends decided to throw me a party. It's supposed to be a surprise party but since everyone around here is always so happy and excited, its very rare for anything to stay secret for very long. Which was one of the many reasons why I don't feel like I belonged here any more.
Thankfully tomorrow I get to take the Aptitude test that will decide if I'm truly meant to be here, harvesting fruit for the rest of my life or if I'm supposed to abandon my family to join either Erudite, Candor, Abnegation or Dauntless. If you had asked me ten years ago which faction I would choose, with out even having to think about it, I would chose Amity. Now, however, I wasn't so sure.
A gentle hand on my shoulder brought me back to reality. I turn to see who the it belonged to and I saw it was my older sister. She was wearing a fancier dress than normal. It was red and flowed over every curve of her body down to the ground.
"Ready for your not so secret surprise party?" Jasmine asked, her usual Amity smile on her face.
"Of course!" I say, trying not to let the sarcasm in my voice be heard.
When my sister was 16, she choose to stay with her original faction. Now she was 22, engaged, and was more Amity than I could ever be. For as long as I could remember, whenever I though of what a true Amity was, my sister came to mind. She was tall, gorgeous, always smiling, loves nature and had a voice that makes birds stop chirping and listen. The only thing my sister and I had in common was our strawberry blonde hair and our tanned skin. Other than that I'm nothing like the rest of my friends here. While they were using ladders to pick fruit at the top of the trees, I was climbing all the way to the very top, hanging from the limbs. Definitely not Amity behaviour, which was why I didn't feel like I belonged here anymore. And it's not like my parents would be alone, they have my sister.
Before I could turn and head into the dinning hall, she pulled me into a bone crushing hug. I reach up and pat her on the back.
"I just can't believe our little Sally is 16 today. I still remember when mom and dad brought you home, placing you in my arms for the first time. 'Would you like to meet your new little sister?' They asked with the biggest smiles on their faces." Jasmine laughed pulling me away slightly.
"And according to mom and dad you handed me back and said no thank you." I smirk, raising an eyebrow at her.
We both look at each other and start laughing. I try to remember the way her hair bounced, the sound of her laugh. It was times like this that make me think that leaving was a bad idea. The thought of not seeing my sister everyday, made me sick to my stomach. So I tried not to think about it.
"I'm not surprised they told you. You always were their favourite." She smirks shoving me gently.
"That was definitely you." I correct, shoving her back.
She smiled and flipped her hair, "Well I'm not one to fight with the birthday girl. Now you ready to go in or not?" She asked stepping around me, with her ever present bounce in her step, placing a hand on the door.
I put a the smile back on my face and grab the other handle. "Ready as I'll ever be."
Jasmine gives me one more smile and a wink before we throw open the doors.
"Happy Birthday Sally!" Everyone cheers as I walk in.
My cheeks burn as I try and make my smile bigger. I let out a breath of relief when I felt Jasmines hand slip into mine. I just hope that she'll still want to hold it after I leave.
******
I jab a piece of lettuce with my fork but I can't seem to get it to my mouth. All I can think about is taking the test. I was so distracted I didn't notice my friend, Aaron placing his tray next to me and slide onto to bench.
"Hey Sally, what's up?" He asked taking a big bite of his apple.
"Oh hi Aaron. Just thinking." I say, still starting at my lunch. I could feel Aaron give me a once over. "About the test." I finish saying knowing he wanted more information.
"Oh that! Don't sweat it." He says waving it off, like he did most everything.
Aaron never worried about anything. School, family and now the aptitude test. It was one of the many reasons why I never got how we are friends. He is very laid back, while I had a tenancy to over think things.
"Easy for you to say, you know where you belong." I say before I can stop myself.
Aaron gives me a confused look. I quickly look away. How could I have said that! As I am finally able to bring food to my mouth, I realize I'm actually glad I said it.
"Does this mean you don't?" He asks leaning closer, making sure that the others at our Amity table didn't hear us.
I look at him through my eyelashes, and that was all the answer he need. Before I could bring another bite to my mouth, Aaron grabs my arm and pulls me from the table.
"Ow! Aaron, your hurting my arm." I cry, trying to pull my arm away as he drags me through the maze of tables.
It wasn't until we were in the janitors closet with the door locked, that he let go of my wrist. I pull my arm close, rubbing the spot where Aaron's hand was now imprinted on my wrist.
"What was that all about!" I snap.
Instead of answering me, I feel his lips on mine. After the shock wore off of the desperation in his kiss, I wrap my arms around his neck and pull him closer. Aaron and I have been close since we were little but recently we had gotten a lot closer. I tried to memorize the way his lips felt on mine and how perfectly his hands fit on my waist. Whenever the thought of leaving entered my mind, it was the thought of never being able to see him, feel his lips on mine or be in his arms again that made me think that maybe staying in Amity wasn't bad. Having to be a farmers wife almost seemed bearable if it meant being with him. After a few minutes we pulled apart, placing my head on his shoulder.
"You can't leave. I would miss you to much." He whispers into my hair, his strong arms tightening around me.
"I would miss you too. I just don't think I can do it anymore." I explain as I run my hands down the curves of his spine.
"Can't do what?" He asks, running his hand down my hair.
"Live a lie. I just don't feel like I belong there anymore." I explain, relief washing over me. I haven't told anyone how I have felt over the last couple years. It felt nice to finally tell someone the truth, know I know why the Candors tell a lie.
"You belong with me, Sally. I love you and want to be with you." He whispers, causing my heart to leap slightly in my chest.
I reach up and bring his lips back to mine. Aaron first told me he loved me a couple weeks ago, but I had yet to say it to him. I knew deep down that I had the same feelings towards him but cause I had the strong urge to leave, I didn't want to tell him only to break his heart. We stay together, our lips desperately trying to remember the other, till we hear a loud voice call for attention back in the Cafeteria.
Aaron places his forehead to mine, "I guess we should rejoin the others." He smiles tucking a piece of my hair behind my ear.
I let out a breath and squeezed him one more time, " I guess. I wish we could stay here forever."
He laughs, "So do I. Now how do you want to exit? Me than you or the other way around?"
Aaron and I have kept our relationship a secret from our friends and family cause we didn't want them to make a big deal out of it. But as I looked into his bright green eyes, and the thought crossing my mind that this might be one of the last times I get to look at them, I decide I don't care anymore. I reached down and lace my fingers with his.
"Why don't we walk out together." I smile at him through my eyelashes.
Aaron smiles back at me, "Really?"
I nod and tug him towards the door. I open the door slightly to make sure the coast was clear before slinking out of the closet and walking back into the cafeteria. The Amity table was on the other side of the room, right next to the Erudite women explain about the test.
"So in groups of 5 I will call out names. When you . . . Nice of you two to join us." She states sarcastically, after noticing us as we made our way across the room.
"Sorry. We just wanted to stretch our legs. We are very sorry to interrupting you. By all means continue." He says with a big Amity smile on his face as we take a seat with the rest of our Faction.
I couldn't help but notice all the looks we were receiving by the others at our table. My friend, Joy, nudged me and pointed at our still, intertwined hands.
"What's this? Are you two together?" She asked, raising an eyebrow at us.
"That's right, Joy! This ship has sailed." Aaron cries, reaching over and giving me a kiss.
I hear a couple cheers and wolf calls from the Dauntless table. I even hear one call for us to get a room. As we pull apart, I steal a glance in their direction. They all wear black and either have a tattoo or piercing, in some cases they had both. Late at night, I would lay in bed and wonder what it would be like to be in the Dauntless faction. Be brave and never worry about dying. To get a tattoo or a part of my body pierced with metal.
The tall Erudite women called for order once again. I shift in my seat so that I can see only her. But I could help but smile when I feel Aaron's hand on my leg.
"Like I was saying, when you hear your name called please head through the doors behind me and into your assigned rooms. When you are finished you will come back in here and wait while the rest of your class finishes their tests. Need I remind you that you are not to discuss your results to anyone." She scan the room, her eyes landing on the Dauntless table. "Now for the first group . . ."
*****
It has been an hour since they started calling names, and it still wasn't my turn. As time went on I started to get more and more nervous. I just wanted to get it over with.
Aaron leaned over, close enough that I was the only one who could hear him.
"It's going to be okay." He whispers, rubbing my thigh with his hand.
"I just can't stand the waiting." I say back, placing my head in my hands.
"It shouldn't be much longer. And before you go in I need you to make me a promise." H says, lifting my chin so I had to look into his green eyes once again.
"What promise?" I ask, not wanting to say yes before hearing what I was agreeing to.
"I need you to promise that, you will let the aptitude test decide where you go. If it tells you to go, than go. But if it tells you to stay, please, please stay." He pleads looking deep into my hazel eyes.
I feel a pain in my chest. I can see how much it would hurt him if I left. As I looked into the eyes of the boy I had fallen so hard for, how could I say anything else but "Of course."
He leans forward, placing his lips to mine, sealing the promise. Just than the Erudite women returns to call more names.
"The next group will be, John Matthew, Elisabeth Norman, Gabriel Neuford, Sally Olsen and Jessica Pander." She says, reading off a sheet.
I feel all the air leave my lungs when I hear my name. I slowly raise from my seat. I had barely taken a step when Aaron grabs my hand.
"You will do fine." He says, giving my hand a squeeze before letting me go.
I nod, feeling my heart pounding in my chest. I slowly make my way out of the cafeteria and towards the rooms that were only used for the test. There are 5 doors and each of us stand in front of the one with our faction symbol on it. On my right is a Candor boy in a black shirt, white pants and jacket. On my left is an Abnegation girl in a long grey dress.
"You may go in now." The Erudite women says.
We all glance at each other before stepping in to our rooms. I close the door behind me, before looking around. The wall on my right is made up of mirrors. In the middle of the room is a chair, where a young Abnegation women was setting up. She looks not much older than me. She turns and smiles at me, making sure not to look at the mirror behind me. The abnegation are known for not looking into mirrors, they think it induces selfishness.
"Are you Sally?" She asks looking at the clipboard in her hand.
I cross my arms around my chest and nod. For some reason my voice wasn't working.
"Hi, my name is Natalie. I'll be administering your test." She smiles gesturing to the chair.
"Aren't you a little young to be giving the test?" I ask, my voice cracking slightly.
"Maybe a little. But they needed help so I decided to help." She laughs, handing me a small glass with blue liquid in it.
"What's this?" I ask, my voice a little more steady this time.
"Unfortunately I am not aloud to tell you. But it's safe, I promise. Now lean back and relax. It's all going to be okay." She says, placing a gentle hand on my shoulder.
I let out a breath and bring the glass up to my lips. I quickly drink the blue liquid before handing the glass back. I could feel my eyelids go heavy as I lean back, placing on my head on the head rest.
"Good Luck Sally." Is the last thing I hear before everything goes black.
*****
I open my eyes to see that I'm standing in a room made of mirrors. I slowly made my way to one of the mirrors. I look into to the eyes of my reflections and have this gut feeling that this wasn't real.
"Choose." A women's voice says out of no where.
I look around and see a tray with a piece of meat on one side and a tray with a knife on the other.
"Why?" I ask, looking in the direction of where I thought the voice was coming from.
"Choose!" It yells at me.
With out thinking I grab for the knife. As soon as my fingers wrap around the handle, the piece of meat disappears. Just than I hear a deep growl come from behind me. I look into the mirror in front of me and see a dog standing behind me. It was larger than normal, with it's head bent slightly and it's teeth showing as it growled. I turn slowly so I don't startle the animal. It slowly makes it's way towards me. I raise my knife with both hands. I expect my back to hit the mirror as I slowly step backwards, but it never happens.
This isn't real, I hear a voice in my head say. I look at the dog and swear I see it change for a sec into a small puppy. Before I can think to much into it a little girl, no more than 6 or 7 stands behind the dog.
"Doggie!" She cries jumping up and down.
The dog turns and starts towards the little girl. Her smiles is replaced with a look if terror.
"Run!" I tell to her, but she seems frozen in fear.
The dog was about to get ready to attack when the knife in my hand beds it's self in the animals spine. It let's out a yelp of pain as it collapses to the ground, dead. The little girl starts to cry at the site of the dog, laying dead in front of her. I walk over and kneel down in front of her.
"It's okay. Everything is fine. Your safe." I say softly, tucking a strand of loss hair behind her ear.
"Thank you." She sniffs, tears running down her small cheeks.
I pull her into a hug, trying to comfort her. She sobs slightly into my shoulder.
"Your safe now. It's okay."
She looks up at me with a smile, "Thank you."
"You're welcome."
She gives me one more smile before turning and running away. I turn and look at the dog still laying on the ground, blood bowling around it. I look down at my hands. I can't believe I just killed the animal. I look up again to see that I'm in the room of mirrors anymore, but the part of town where the Factionless live.
Fear rises up inside me. I've never actually been in this part of town. Whenever my family and I would make a trip into town, my dad would always make sure to steer clear of this part of town.
A hand grabs my shoulder and spins me so I'm facing the person it belongs to. A man in his 40's squeezes my shoulder causing pain to sheer through it.
"Let me go." I say trying to keep my voice steady, so he wouldn't hear the fear in it.
"Why would I let such a pretty girl go?" He asks, his smile sending chills down my spine.
"I said let me go!" I say again, this time anger being heard in my voice instead of fear.
He grabs my other shoulder and pins me to the brick wall behind me. I knew I had only a few minutes to act before he either killed me or something worse. As he leans in towards me I thrust my head forward making contact with his head. The man stumbles backwards grasping his head. I take my chance and run away from him. I hear him regain himself and start after me. I look around for a way out and notice a door to my right. I throw the door open and run in.
****
My eyes fly open as I let out a scream. I look around to see that I'm back in the test room. Natalie looks at me with a half frightened, half curious look in her eyes.
"Sally it's okay. Your okay, your okay." She says softly.
I run my hands through my hair trying to calm myself. I can't believe what had just happened. If my mother knew what I had just done, she would be so disappointed in me. I look back at Natalie.
"What was that?" I ask, trying to get my hands to stop shaking.
"Did you know that all that wasn't real?" She asked, looking straight into my eyes.
I give her a once over, not sure how she wants me to answer. "Yes, I did." I say, deciding to be honest to her. "So what was my result?"
"According to the computer your result was Amity . . ." She says, as I feel my chest tighten with disappointment. "And Dauntless."
"Dauntless and Amity? But I thought we could only get one result. How could I have aptitude for two factions?" I ask, still not able to understand what was going on.
"It is possible Sally. But you can't tell anyone about it."
"What do you mean? I thought we weren't supposed to tell any one."
"I know, but this time you can't tell anyone ever." She states, quietly as if not to be over heard.
"Natalie what are you talking about? What am I?" I demand grabbing her shoulders.
"You are what they call . . . Divergent."