Multi chapter HR fic, set directly after 3-7, when Ruth is kidnapped by Andrew Forestall. Changing some of the minor details as I need to, but hoping to keep it generally in canon (but a bit happier!)

Ruth had spent a sleepless night tossing and turning. No matter what she tried, she couldn't get to sleep until daybreak. When she finally did get to sleep, she was awoken much earlier than she'd have liked by her doorbell ringing, repeatedly. Glancing at the clock, she saw it was just before ten in the morning. She sighed, throwing a thick baggy jumper on and didn't bother changing out of her pyjama trousers, and went downstairs to the rhythm of the bell.

"I'm coming," she said, though she recognised the silhouette through the glass on her front door. It was Harry. She fumbled with the locks, which took longer than normal as she was so tired, and opened it.

Harry stood there breathing heavily, but he seemed to relax when his eyes took her in. Ruth didn't say a word, just turned aside and let Harry follow her into the kitchen. She put the kettle on out of habit and neither of them had said a word.

"When you didn't turn up at work, I got worried," Harry said softly.

"Forgive me for not calling," she said sarcastically. "I've had a rather bad twenty four hours."

"Well, the last time you didn't call in, you'd been kidnapped. I rather thought I'd check on you."

"Mm," she said, supposing he had a point. She reached for the mugs on the top shelf of her cupboard, but her hands were shaking too much, and one smashed. Harry rushed to help and she shook her head.

"Sorry, my arms are… well, they ache a little."

"That happens," he said gently. "Do you want tea or coffee?" He moved her aside and continued to make their drinks.

"Tea," she said. "Thanks." She sat down at the table, rubbing her arms and Harry could see briefly red rings around her wrists from where she'd been tied up. He didn't say anything until they were sat together, drinks in hand. She warmed her fingers on the mug, blinking at the surface of her drink.

"You don't look well." She didn't. Her face was chalky white, her eyes were red and she had dark circles under her eyes. She looked as if she'd never smile again.

"I look terrible, Harry," she said, knowing it was true. "I was tied up next to a corpse for ten hours," she said bluntly. "After having seen one of my old friends die right in front of me. I've been better, Harry."

"He was…"

"I know what he was," she said, very angrily. "It doesn't make this any easier."

"Ruth…" he tailed off, not wanting to finish his sentence.

"What?" He still didn't speak, looking highly uncomfortable. "Spit it out, Harry," she said sharply. "I'm sorry," she added in a softer tone. "I don't mean to be harsh, it's the lack of sleep."

"Did he rape you?" he asked. She caught his eye for a moment and saw the genuine concern there.

"No, Harry," she said. "No, he didn't. But... being tied up in the house of someone who's lost the plot and you don't know what he might do… it's… shaken me. I'm not up to work today, and I don't know when I will be."

"I'm not here for work," he said. "I'm here to make sure you're okay and… hopefully as a friend."

"Thank you," she said warmly, taking a sip of tea. "I do appreciate it."

He smiled at her, a warm genuine smile that reached his eyes. She'd rarely, if ever seen him smile like that.

"I don't know when I'm coming back to work," she said. "Or even if I am."

"Ruth…"

"I'm lonely, Harry," she said. "So lonely. Before he revealed his true colours, talking to Andrew made me think. I never intended to dedicate my life to work, to MI5. I never intended to spend my life alone. I don't like my life right now. And if I worked a normal nine to five job, I might be forced to go out and get a life outside of my work."

"You can't leave, Ruth," he said fervently.

"Why not?" she asked, looking at him directly. He did not break their eye contact and neither did she as the seconds passed. Eventually he shrugged.

"It's not the right time," he said, looking at his tea.

"No, Harry," she said. "If there's a reason to stay at section D, tell me."

He breathed heavily. "You should take some time… to recover from the shock. Before you make any hasty decisions."

Ruth felt disappointed that he hadn't said anything more personal. She had no reason to expect anything personal, but she did live in hope. She'd had a crush on her boss for quite some time, even though the word "crush" was more of a teenage word that she didn't like. But it seemed like the best fit for what she felt for Harry.

"What are you working on today?" she asked, in order to change the subject.

"Just paperwork until something more drastic comes in."

"Mm, well tempting as that sounds, I think I'll stay here." He smiled.

"I don't blame you. Get some sleep."

"Yes," she said. Clearly something in her tone made him stop.

"I woke you up, didn't I?"

"Don't worry about it," she said with a smile. "I'm going back to bed." He smiled tightly and she nodded. He got up, the silence slightly uncomfortable until he left her house. She sighed and shook her head once she was alone. She was far too tired and her pride was too hurt from being held captive to think too long about Harry. In private, he took up a lot of her thoughts. Maybe even most of them. But not right now. Right now, she needed sleep.

.