For my lovely collaborators. Ya'll are dreams to write with and I love you. Have some sappyshippy and flower language! *beams and ducks flying newspaper*
A follow on from Cold Feet, Sanctuary and Home – I suggest reading those pieces first.
also- if you do read CF/Sanc and like them, please drop comments; I would like timewaster to be appreciated for her efforts in CF and assistance with Sanc. Even if its just getting reviews by proxy. Same goes for all my collaborators.
business: I own nothing except the heirverse and the flower dictionary.
a/n: Should really be packing stuff for moving but writing&posting instead because essay reviews have temporal powers. Also I've been traipsing through a comment forest that sprang up after posting Game ch21 that seems to keep springing back to life after I cut through it.
Also slowly gearing myself up for Helios that comes after this - and various other stories/updates.
Notes: happyfluffy, sappyshippy, possibly pwp-ish later. Post Cold Feet&Sanc but pre Helios. Flower language. Sap. Mild story-verse crossreferences/echoes. Ugh it was supposed to be a oneshot, I dont know what happened, but- Hopefully shorter than the standard heirverse multichapters. *crosses fingers*
Well that's me, so enjoy.
Love is friendship that has caught fire. It is quiet understanding, mutual confidence, sharing and forgiving. It is loyalty through good and bad times. It settles for less than perfection and makes allowances for human weaknesses.
- Ann Landers
Part I.
Sousuke lay on the large comfortable sofa in his quarters in the bowels of Las Noches, Cherry sprawled out on his stomach on her back, quietly enjoying the lazy belly scratches he gave her. He had his flower dictionary on his lap, turning the pages with free hand and fussing Cherry with the other. His mind running like a hamster in a wheel. Trying to think. After a time, Cherry's mate Tsuku, another white fox with black paws and ear tips, crept in and settled down beside him. Aizen spared a scratch for him, too and he stretched his black paws out languorously at the contact.
It might have been a peaceful night of reading, if not for his frustration. He frowned, at the pages of the book, and all of the possible things he could say with the flora listed within those pages. And not one of them were jumping out at him as a potential offering.
Heliotrope? No. Gin already knew how devoted he was.
Indian Jasmine? No. Again, his attachment was obvious.
Bellflower for gratitude? No.
Phlox? No. Their souls were already united. It didn't need repeating.
Red tulips? Too pedestrian. Besides, hadn't he already said those three words to Gin?
Daffodils? Again, redundant. It went without saying this was a new start for both of them.
Roses? No... too obvious. FAR too obvious.
Lily of the valley? Close... but no. He hoped Gin knew already how happy he was.
Pink convolvuvus? 'worth sustained by judicious and tender affection'? No. Too wordy.
Cactus for 'ardent love'? Peppermint for 'warmth of feeling'?
Argh. No.
No no no! None of those fit. None of those came remotely close to fitting. While he certainly felt great warmth and ardent love for Gin - especially after his little breakdown in the Central forty-six chambers - both seemed too inadequate as expressions of just how absurdly grateful and loved Gin made him feel then.
He huffed out a sigh, frustrated at his ineptitude. Why was this so hard?
He wanted something simple, understated something to say what his words could not.
What do you want to say? Kyouka had asked him. It would help if you knew that, as a starting point.
I'm aware of that. He snapped at her. There's just so much I could say.
Well, start by making a shortlist. That way we can eliminate possibilities.
He huffed again. Was speaking this language always so difficult?
You're thinking too hard, Kyouka sighed. Trying too hard.
He bit back his cutting remark, determined not to rise to the bait, eyes glued to the pages of his flower dictionary. Until a voice caught him off guard. A rare thing for anyone to do... well, except for one person.
"Ohh, tha's a deep frown yer wearin'." His eyes glanced up to find the object of his thoughts and affections standing in the doorway, having been apparently been watching for some time. "Whatchya thinkin' bout that's got ya frownin' so hard?"
Aizen simply smiled. And both the foxes lying on him looked up at the sound of Gin's voice. Wagging their tails. "Just trying to work something out." Aizen answered, holding out his hand to Gin, a wordless request to come to him. One Gin always obliged. He watched Gin walk the few steps into the room and take his hand, settling beside him on the plush sofa.
"Are ya stugglin' wit a meanin'?" Gin drawled, though his eyes opened a little, betraying his curiosity. "Aint like you."
"Struggle promotes growth." he answered simply. Not wanting to admit to more. And besides, it was true. Struggle and adversity made for strong people, strong wills, strong relationships – if they made it through the adversities. And god, had he learnt that the hard way...
Gin looked thoughtful for a moment. "Oh, well," Gin began, somewhat hesitantly, "is it a thing I can help with?"
Aizen kept his gaze on Gin's face, which then broke out into a hopeful little smile. One he hadn't seen in... god, decades. He let his lips curve upwards into a soft smile. Supposing there were still some faint echoes of the boy he met all those years ago inside the man beside him. Echoes that both time and darkness had failed to destroy.
"Of course it is." he said gently, and shuffled over to give Gin some room to lay down beside him and get comfortable. "Here, come sit with me. I'll scoot the foxes over..."
Gin crawled over him quietly, and squeezed in beside him, snuggling into his body, settling his head on Sousuke's chest, sighing contentedly. Sousuke settled his arm around Gin's shoulders. Gin on one side, the two dozing foxes on the other.
"Comfortable?"
Gin nodded. "Mm."
Sousuke allowed himself another smile, and began lazily stroking Gin's hair. His mind wandering away from his self appointed task in favour of more pleasing subject matter. Silvery hair, like the moonlight. Hm, it's no wonder you're the moon of my-
"So, whaddya need help wit'?" Gin asked, and he pushed the thoughts away.
Sousuke sighed, long and deep. Finding a way to thank you, for all you've done for me.
. . .
Gin settled more comfortably against his lover's body, peering at the flower dictionary in the man's hand.
"A'ight." he began, "So what d'ya wanna say? An' in what context?"
He listened to Sousuke sigh, felt his chest rise and fall against him, and waited patiently. He knew better than to interrupt when the man was thinking deeply. Particularly thinking deeply about how to express himself. He knew it would take time to get true honesty from the man without so much of this thinking beforehand, but... at least he was trying.
He loves me enough to try, tha's the main thing.
"Alright," Sousuke said softly, "I'm looking for ones that express deep gratitude, love in a romantic context, and dispelling of doubts."
"So that's th' context. Bu' what do ya wanna say?" Gin probed. "I can' 'elp ya if I dunno what ya wanna say."
Gin curled closer to Sousuke's warm body and gently lifted the flower dictionary out of his hand and flicked through the pages. Holding the little book above the both of them so they could both read it. He heard Sousuke sigh again, frustrated. And Gin had to fight a grin. He knew that sigh.
I know what it is. Yer lookin' fer an offerin' fer me but ya don' wanna say. Yer so transparent, ya know.
"Let's say hypothetically..." Aizen began, and Gin raised his eyebrows as Sousuke gently lifted the book from his hands.
"Hypothetically?"
"Hypothetically," Aizen reiterated, "let's say I want to express firstly my gratitude for your love and support, apologies for my sheer idiocy, and..."
Aizen's voice trailed off and Gin waited for the rest. He wasn't disappointed.
"How happy I am you're here."
The words were punctuated with a loving squeeze of his shoulders, and Gin felt another giddy, ridiculous smile coming on. He shifted slightly so his face was out of his lover's sight. Just so Sousuke wouldn't know he knew. He could have laughed. Or cried. Or both. Gin swallowed in an effort to contain himself. What struck him though was the fact that never, in all of their decades together, had he felt an urge to kiss that man this strongly. And he'd had strong urges to do so quite a few times.
Oh you sweet, sappy idiot...
"Hypothetically speakin'?" Gin asked again, hoping his voice wasn't trembling too obviously.
"Hypothetically speaking." Sousuke assured him. Though Gin knew it was a lie. It has to be after his mask crumbled to dust in front a me.
Gin took a moment to bury his excitement, knowing he had to at least act naïve. Of course he knew how his lover felt about him already, but hearing it said aloud was another matter. Gin may have wanted to kiss him silly, but... if Aizen wanted to keep up a charade to surprise him, he'd play along. Gotta let him have some of his illusions...
"A'ight," Gin said, keeping his voice steady. Calm. Calm like Aizen-sama is. "So ya want gratitude, tha's bellflower. Madwort, for happiness. Gorse fer enduring affection. So those three say 'I'm happy an' grateful ya still care fer me'. If ya want 'forgive my idiocy', ya want purple hyacinth, ta ask forgiveness. An' horsehoe leaf geranium fer stupidity."
"And for doubt?" Sousuke prompted. And Gin knew the man was testing his knowledge.
"For doubt, apricot blossom." Gin answered, always quick to place that flower. Because he too had his fair share of doubts about their relationship over the decades. He had to wonder where the doubt fit into all of that, though. Why his Sousuke wanted a flower for doubt.
'Forgive my doubts' maybe?
Gin shifted positions, rolling over onto his stomach and caught Aizen smiling at him. The way he did when he thought no-one else was looking. The smile where the warmth of it reached his eyes and seemed to radiate through his whole being, and all the ice around him just seemed to melt. Gin might have melted, too, if he weren't trapped in those arms, and tethered to his solid state by them.
Damn. Eight decades later and he still turns me on with just a look.
"You've learnt well." Sousuke praised. "I'm pleased. All that without a dictionary."
Gin had to grin at him. "Well, I had a good teacher." he answered, leaning in close, "The best, in fact."
"That you did." Sousuke answered, and Gin leant down to gently press their lips together, tongue pushing into his mouth for a deeply passionate kiss. His tongue gently coaxing Sousuke's out to play, and soon they were both lost in each other. Gin could feel his lover's strong fingers in his hair as he moaned into the kiss. Gin devoured him for as long as he could, until he needed to breathe again, and a familiar lust started to coil around his spine.
"Thankyou." Sousuke breathed. And Gin had to smile.
"Glad I could help." he beamed. "Come to bed soon?" he asked, though it came out of him as more of a plea. Gin hoped he didn't sound too desperate for the man, but Sousuke's answering chuckle told him his desires were totally transparent to him. Gin supposed some things never changed. Even after eight decades.
"Soon." Aizen promised. "Go and wait for me."
Gin sighed softly, perfectly content with his lot in life. He leant in to capture his lover's lips with his own again and run his slender fingers through the man's dark hair. And felt the man relax into his touch.
"Don' be too long." Gin said, though it came out as more of a whine. He remembered another promise like that too. One not kept.
Don't be too late.
I won't.
He had to remind himself things were different now.
"I won't." Sousuke answered him, reaching up a gentle hand to softly cup Gin's cheek. "Promise."
Gin's eyes flickered up to meet his, and in those chocolate pools he could see all the love and sincerity within them. Coupled with an affection deeper than the ocean, and warmth flooded his body as if he were bathed in sunlight. A tiny part of him was surprised by this, but it quickly faded when he realised it made sense.
Ah, but then, Gin thought with a soft smile, he is my sun and my stars. Of course he'd warm me up inside.
"Mm," Gin widened his grin. "I'll hold ya ta that." he said.
Sousuke's answering grin was a knowing one, and one that promised a long and pleasurable night. "I'd be disappointed if you didn't."