Disclaimer: I don't own Steven Universe
Title: Quiet Down
Summary: Sequel to 'It Starts off Small'. Pearl and Steven accidentally rush into fusion.
...
Peridot isn't very good at sitting still, Connie has noticed. That may draw back to the harsh stone floor of the arena itself; the natural coldness that clings in spite of the sun glaring down from above. Connie tried her best to do the opposite, if only as a challenge to herself; knees tucked under her, hands on her lap, shoulders straight. Peridot sprawled out criss-cross a little ways away, jiggling her leg irritably, chin in one hand.
"So, what you're saying..." Her eyes flickered up to their mentor, their true color a mystery behind the visor. Connie thought they were green, just like the rest of her. Steven joked that they might be blue, with the tinge. It's hard to say if those things effect a Gem's presentation. "Is that you don't trust me."
"Peridot," Pearl sighed, rubbing her gemstone with barely repressed frustration. "I've let you swing swords around in my general direction for months now. If I didn't trust you before, I certainly would by now."
"But you won't let me on missions?"
"That was Garnet's decision, not mine." She lifted her hand away in a half-shrugging movement. "She thinks you need more time, and I agree."
"I can fight!"
"You can sword fight. There's more to it than that."
Peridot waved her hands in Connie's direction. "You let her go on missions!"
"Connie has had more training than you have," Pearl reminded her sensibly. "I'm sorry, Peridot, but we're just trying to look out for you."
The tiny Gem let out an incomprehensible yell, frustrated. Connie watched her mentor's lips quirk downward, resisting the urge to cover her ears. Peridot was very good at expressing herself, and she respected that. It just usually came out louder than what might be necessary.
"If you're going to use such language, we're not going to train at all," their mentor said crossly, and that was the end of that.
Pearl took in a deep, steadying breath, lacing her fingers together. She considered backing out, but quickly tossed the thought away. She'd already turned back twice, now. Three times would be mortifying.
The Gem took measured, careful steps up to the couch. Steven was reading a book. His eyes darted upwards, smile gracing the edges of his lips, and she already felt a bit less uneasy. "Hi, Pearl."
"Steven," she greeted. Pearl gestures to the empty seat. "May I?"
"Sure!" Steven shut the book and set it aside while she sat down, one knee on top of the other. His brow furrowed with concern. "What's up?"
Pearl tapped her thumbs together. "I've been meaning to talk to you..." she paused, then said with a sort of finality. "About fusion."
"O-Oh." His eyes dropped to the floor. "Fusion."
"Now, Steven, you know I would never force you into anything."
"I know."
"But, when or if you get curious..." Pearl suddenly flung an arm around his shoulders, squeezing. "I hope you know you can come to me."
Steven patted her on the back. "I already know fusion, Pearl. The basics, anyway."
"Yes, well..." She drew back to lightly boop his nose. "You know what I mean."
He giggled. "Thanks."
"It's not fair!" Peridot shouted, wildly waving her hands. Her teeth had taken a sharp quality to them. "You're just a human youngling! I'm a certified Kindergartner! I've grown crops!"
"C'mon, Peri..." Steven put his hand on her shoulder supportively. "Don't take it out on Connie."
"Oh, no, I don't mind." Connie just barely resisted a smile. "She's kind of funny when she's angry."
Peridot pointed at her. "Fight me, Maheswaran!"
She cracked her knuckles. "Okay."
"Whooooa, girl." Amethyst cackled as she wrapped an arm around Connie's arms. "Don't wreck the rookie, mmkay?"
"I'M NOT A ROOKIE!"
Connie rubbed the sides of her skull. "Look, Peridot. No one is saying you aren't skilled at swordfighting. If I was your teacher, I'd give you a solid C. But there's more to missions than being able to swing a blade around."
"Yeah," Amethyst added. "There's usually a lot of walking too."
"Sometimes you gotta be able to survive in harsh environments. Sometimes you lose your sword, and there isn't any metal around. You at least need some basic hand-to-hand before you can go out." She shoved her hands into her coat pockets. "Heck, I've got all that down, and I only go on, like, one mission a month, if that. You just gotta be patient."
"Then teach me how to fight!"
"Okay."
Peridot blinked at her. "Wait. Really?"
"Yes, really." Connie gestured to the arena, the sky a rich orange as the sun began to set in the distance. "That's why we're out here, Peridot. This is our extra training with Amethyst time. That's literally its name."
"That reminds me," Steven prompted. "Pearl mentioned fusion to me the other day."
"I am not giving you fusion tips," Amethyst said firmly, frowning slightly. "Not after last time."
He raised his hands in a half-shrug. "Maybe you could give me some Pearl tips?"
"Get her comfy," she answered immediately, as if she knew Pearl by heart and could recite it on a dime. "Get her singin'. Pearl loves to sing."
"I like singing too."
"You'll be great for each other."
"Can we focus on more important things here?" Peridot insisted. "Like getting me ready for battle?"
"I can handle that," Connie said, shifting into a more solid stance. "Fight me, Peridot. I'll correct you on the way."
"A song?"
Steven shrugged, smiling. The warm sands of the beach dug into his ankles, but Pearl's arms around his belly were comfy. It wasn't often the Gem let herself sit on the ground like this- while not one to admit it, relating to humans and all, she preferred furniture. The breeze was salty but cool. "Singing makes everything better."
"Not always," she said, thinking back to her little performance at Empire City. How was she supposed to know they'd hear her? Steven had never stirred when she watched him before. Amethyst slept through everything. Her data was flawed. "Sometimes, singing hurts."
"But it gets your feelings out," he replied, closing his eyes. "It feels nice. Getting it all out there with a tune and a jingle."
"Perhaps."
"Wanna try?"
"Would you like me to?"
"If you wanna, sure!"
Pearl awkwardly cleared her throat, a bemused look on her face. Song time, as Steven had labeled it, wasn't something usually planned. Or brought up. They typically just kind of went with it, belting out whatever came to mind and facing the consequences later. It wasn't always the most strategic of plans, but it worked for them nonetheless.
Oh, a song
But what to say?
I didn't expect today to go this way
The sands are nice
The night is young
Soon the stars will glitter and shine
And you'll be tucked in and sleeping
I have to admit
I'm not very good at aesthetically pleasing rhymes
When I'm pressed on time
You'll just have to forgive me
Steven laughed and nudged her arm, taking up the tune.
No need to say sorry
You're doing fine
The ocean is lovely
And there's plenty of time
I kinda wish I had my ukulele
But I'm too comfy to go get it
You'll have to forgive me
I think we might be bad at this
"We both say sorry too much," Pearl decided, pressing a gentle kiss to his hair.
Don't worry about perfection
There's no limit on time
We can go and fix this ditty later
When we're of better mind
As it is, I'm tired
It's been a long day
That corruption sure didn't go out
The easy way
But Rose said we must be patient
And I trust in her word
So I'll get up again tomorrow
And we'll perhaps play a game on one of those silly boards
For a moment, Steven was dead still, the reminder of his mother drifting him off into thought. He slowly tilted his head back until his hair was pressed against the tiny star on her chest, blinking up at her blankly. He only sang one line.
Did you used to sing this way with her?
Pearl turned bright blue, as if she'd been caught doing something wrong. But what, she wondered. What could she be doing wrong? She was singing on the beach. There wasn't anything to be embarrassed about here.
Oh, no
Never like this
Your mother
She had the most beautiful voice
But, when given a choice
She tended to hide it
It wasn't easy for us to sing in tandem
My voice was just a bit too high
They'd reverberate against each other
The air would turn awkward
She'd excuse herself real quick
Oh, dear
Now that I think about it
I never apologized for it
I hope she knew I was sorry.
Steven shook his head.
You don't have to apologize
I think she knew
It wasn't anyone's fault.
Pearl chuckled and gave him a good squeeze, smiling a bit too wide to be completely real.
Oh, you're too nice
You take after her
Too much for your own good.
Steven slipped out of her arms, surprising her. He made some awkward finger guns, trekking backwards and up the stairs to the beach house.
I think song time is over
I had some real fun
Maybe next time
We can do a full duet.
"Steven?"
He had the audacity to send her a peace sign. "Stay real, Pearl!"
The door creaked closed. Pearl was left alone on the beach, waves crashing and gulls screeching, staring after him with a face best described as conflicted, or perhaps confused would fit better. A mixture of both. Mostly, she just felt alone.
"Honestly, Amethyst," she griped, pulling the comb a tad more harshly than she might have any other day. Pearl knew Amethyst rarely felt any pain on her scalp, and that it was of no bother to her, so long as she didn't take out chunks. "You have this lovely mane of hair, and yet you never do anything with it. It's criminal."
"What can I say?" Amethyst kicked out a foot, scattering water droplets across the ground leading to the pool. "I like bein' a criminal."
To this day, Pearl wasn't entirely sure why their rooms built upon one another like they did. While it was true they all overlapped, Amethyst was the only one who had waterfalls slipping and sliding through the geode she called home. They'd never really minded enough to make a big deal out of it. True, Pearl didn't enjoy the odd bit of trash that gurgled up, and it was practically impossible to find a sword if it went over, but otherwise it made visiting easier. They both quite liked being able to visit easily.
"I'm putting it up in a braid," Pearl decided, setting the comb down. "Unless, of course, you have any major complaints?"
"Naaah, I don't mind. Jus' don't make it anything too fancy, okay?"
"Deal."
They could probably be doing this fully clothed. But what would be the fun in that? They'd just gotten out of the bath, warm and languid, and nobody likes relinquishing that feeling, even creatures who don't technically even need to bathe.
"So," Pearl said, making the first twist.
"So," Amethyst replied, tapping her fingers on Pearl's technically barren thigh. She counted herself lucky she wasn't ticklish.
"I need your advice."
She gasped. "Did those words really just leave your mouth? I thought it was impossible!"
"Amethyst," she tsked.
"The apocalypse is coming! Dogs and cats are gonna share bedspace soon!"
Pearl tugged on a lock of her hair. "Are you done?"
"I could keep going for a while, actually."
"Please don't."
"Fine, fine. Whaddup, Pearl?"
"It's about Steven."
Amethyst opened her mouth, closed it, then opened it again. "Are you seriously saying you want my help on how to be a good guardian for Steven?"
Pearl didn't want to let go of her hair, so she settled on stretching forward at an awkward angle to press a kiss to her shoulder. "Please, stop making it sound like you're turning him into a delinquent. If you were nearly as bad as what you assume, we wouldn't let you near him."
She crossed her arms. "You didn't, for a while there."
"Oh, Amethyst, we all grieve differently. You just happen to grieve by yelling and screaming."
"That wasn't the issue, and we all know it. You got all worried I'd tell him about the Kindergarten or whatever," she scoffed. "Like he would even understand what I was saying."
"I'd really rather not argue with you right now, if it's all the same to you."
"I getcha. Arguing while naked is never fun. Well, unless you're into that sort of thing."
"I don't know what you're referring to, but I'll assume my answer would be no." Pearl reached into her gem to pull out a hair-tie, securing the braid with a quick flick of the wrist. Each loop was as thick around as the Quartz's wrist, leaving the mass near the middle of her back. "There."
"Whoo-wee." Amethyst let out a whistle as she studied herself in the water. "I'm a dang fine momma."
"I told you," Pearl chimed in with a smug smile. "Anyway, as I was saying. It's about fusion."
The Quartz turned one purple eye on her. "Are you actually asking me for help with fusion? Me?"
"Well, you are the one who fused with him first."
"Didja forget about Connie, orrrrr...?"
"The first Gem," she rectified. "I thought your experience would be a bit closer to what I'd face. No offense to Connie."
"Pearl," said Amethyst, eyebrows raised. "It's Steven. You know Steven."
Pearl lightly whacked her shoulder. "You're of no help to me, I'll have you know."
The smaller Gem leaned her back on her, braid digging into her form. "Chill, Pearly. I never said I wouldn't help." Amethyst was smiling. "You gotta get chill, bro. Take it a step at a time. There's no rush."
"I'm worried there might be; Homeworld and all. But I don't dare say that to his face."
"Good. Don't."
Amethyst held up a finger. "Mmmkay, so here's the thing. You remember how I told you that fusion can be emotion or intent?"
"Yeah?"
"Well, there's a bit of an issue I didn't bring up."
Steven let out a long groan, running his hands over his face. "Isn't fusion complicated enough?"
"Better question," Peridot said. "What's wrong with your follicular area?"
Amethyst shot her a mildly miffed look over her shoulder, hands on her hips. "It's called a braid, and it's highkey fashionable. But, seriously, Peri." She waved her hands. "Kinda in the middle of somethin' here."
"Focus on me, Peridot," Connie demanded, taking a shot at her face that she ducked away from with a squeak. "Don't just start a conversation in the middle of the fight! It's bad manners."
"I can't help it!" she yelped, scuttling around her. "This is so boring! It's just action and reaction!"
"That's all fighting ever is, Peridot."
"Blech."
Connie sighed. "Gonna have to figure out a musical number to montage this over. Noted."
Steven cleared his throat. He looked unhappy with basically everything going on around him, from the conversation to the physical training. "A-anyway. Keep going, Amethyst."
Amethyst sat herself down next to him on the bench, the braid bumping against basically everything. "Okay, so normally you can mix emotion and intent. That's fine. Stevonnie is always a mix. And it's not like I hate the others, yaknow? We still care about each other, even though our fusions are usually for business. But you can't be all one or all the other if the other person is too."
"Meaning?"
"Pearl is going for emotion. And why shouldn't she? We love ya, duder." She poked him in the arm. "But you want to focus on intent. It don't work like that. Even if you don't agree on anything else, you at least gotta agree on why you fuse."
"Crap." He put his chin on his hands, troubled. "But, like... there's a lot of stuff between us I don't want to get into. Emotionally. I love her, but... it's not that simple."
Amethyst opened her mouth to ask, but before she could Peridot was back, panting. "Didn't you say you weren't going to give out fusion tips?"
"It's not fusion tips," she answered quickly. "I learned that from the last time."
"Peridot!" Connie yelled, sprinting after her. "What did I just say?"
Peridot let out a high-pitched shriek. "I'M TOO PRETTY TO DIE!"
Steven slipped out of his bed, not feeling sleepy despite the late hour. Outside, the water was as deep as the night sky itself, sloshing with foam and stars. He kicked up a sandal's worth of sand, thinking back to the unfortunate end of song time. If he couldn't even plan a musical number, how the heck was he supposed to work through years of emotional issues, most of which stemmed back from before his time? It just didn't feel fair.
Nothing felt fair, anymore.
He took in a deep breath and began to sing, hoping to wash away the bitter taste from earlier.
When I fused with Amethyst
I thought I was all through
I had my plus two
And who could blame me?
For assuming, maybe
We wouldn't be a good match?
He chucked a stone into the water, hearing more than seeing the splash.
Because we all knew
That she's looking for a Gem far beyond my view
And even if she isn't, maybe
That's what I'm looking for too.
How do I live up to her?
When I can't even fit her boots?
All I've got are her hands
And her laugh
And her issues
This game is getting pretty tiring
Steven drew the last one out, as if the words themselves needed time to yawn and stretch. He paused, crickets chiming into the silence, and waited for- well, he wasn't sure. Something. A hug, maybe.
I know how to speak my mind
And I can keep my peace
But what's the use?
When there's no yes or no
And all's bound to go wrong?
Now's not the time to make enemies.
He suddenly blew a raspberry. "Man, what am I doing? It's the middle of the night. This is the kind of silly musical shenanigans that gets people in trouble." Steven shook himself, trudging back to the stairs. "This is what I get for not having deep emotional talks with Amethyst during our private training time."
Smoky makes appearances often enough that Pearl and Garnet both have gotten used to them. It's the same with Stevonnie. Steven just has a knack for fusion, and dabbles in it for battles; which, considering his more defensive battleset, makes logical sense.
It feels natural to hop on their yo-yo for leverage as she sliced at a corruption. When she falls and is caught by three arms, it doesn't feel odd. It's comfy. Friendly. Amethyst would probably use the term 'chummy.'
"Who knows, Pearly," they laughed, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. "We might just be good for each other after all. Whaddaya think, G?"
Garnet adjusted her shades and turned away from the display, waving them off. It was impossible to tell if she was smiling or frowning from this distance. "I'm stayin' outta this."
(Later on, Pearl would curse herself for not realizing what was coming, just from that statement alone.)
Steven is the one who offers. Pearl reminded him that there was no rush (though, deep down, she still didn't know how true that was or wasn't) and that he shouldn't feel forced to rush into anything, that she had only brought it up so he knew he could come to her, but the smile on his face didn't fade. He'd made up his mind. He wanted to try.
Pearl wasn't exactly opposed, herself.
They hug, and glow, and begin to meld. But then there's a snapping sensation- it's hard to tell where it starts or where it ends, just cracks upon cracks within their light. Something in Pearl's form groans "I hope this will make her proud of me", while Steven had "I better do this right, or else" resonate in his mind.
They exploded apart, falling and rolling. Pearl got up first, grabbing Steven and pulling him up. "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine," he said, sounding like he wanted to cry. "Are you okay?"
"Gems are a lot tougher than humans, Steven," she replied. Which, honestly, wasn't an answer at all, but Pearl didn't really know what to say. She wasn't even sure what she felt. Confused? Hurt? Ashamed? Those were emotions she knew fairly well, but something else buzzed under the surface of her metaphorical skin. Pearl needed time to analyze and compartmentalize it.
"I messed up, didn't I?" he mumbled wretchedly into her arms.
"Of course not." She set her chin on his hair. "We're just... not immediately compatible. That's all."
Connie caught Peridot mid-punch, using her surprise to her advantage, tripping her. She flopped onto the stone ground with a long groan. "We're getting nowhere."
"We just started," she pointed out sensibly.
The Gem rolled onto her back. "No, I mean- this is getting me nowhere! I've been practicing for days, and there hasn't been any improvement!"
"Practice takes time, Peridot." Connie carefully crouched next to the depressed Gem, poking her in the nose. "And, sometimes, you just gotta stall."
"Stall?"
"Well, yeah." She shrugged. "We all hit a point where we need a break now and then. Especially considering the stressful circumstances." The girl's eyes darted around a moment, biting her lip, before quietly admitting, "Sometimes, I can't even sleep; it's just too much."
"We're just practicing."
"We're practicing to do the real deal. That's not a 'just' type scenario."
"You do the real deal."
"Maybe once a month, if that," Connie said. "I don't really see why you're so determined lately to go on missions."
Peridot's eyes slid away from her. "It's... about more than that."
"Okay?"
She didn't elaborate.
Pearl found Amethyst munching on a pile of various objects in her room, hair still in the braid she'd put it in. Had it not for the not-so-nice things passing through her lips and into her mouth, Pearl might've found it endearing. A hand covered with motor oil waved at her. "Heya, P. Thanks again for the new look, by the way. It makes eating without inhaling hair a lot easier."
Pearl had to force herself not to gag. Gems didn't technically have a gag reflex, of course, but her hatred towards food (coupled with her absolute loathing for what Amethyst considered food) was almost enough in and of itself to trigger a reaction. She swallowed. "I think we should work on Opal."
Amethyst swallowed, but while Pearl swallowed air, she swallowed what she had in her mouth. "What's the sudden rush for?"
"I just..." She perked up, fanning her hands out. "I thought it'd be a good way for us to bond!"
"Pearl," Amethyst said. Her mouth was covered in what Pearl hoped was mustard. "You're a terrible liar."
Pearl let out a long sigh and perched herself on an old car hood. "Fusing with Steven proved... ineffective."
"It doesn't usually happen overnight."
"I know, I know. But it felt vaguely reminiscent of Opal, if that makes sense? We both wanted to fuse, but everything else was jumbled."
Amethyst hopped up next to her, all smiles, but something odd in her eye set Pearl on edge. "So I'm your lab rat, huh?"
"Something like that."
"Alright. How do you propose we do this?"
"I..." Pearl put her chin in her hand, contemplating. "I didn't think this far ahead."
"Wow, really?" Grinning, Amethyst draped herself across the taller Gem's lap, one hand coming up to wave just inches from her nose. "If you're gonna proposition a gal, you should at least have a pitch ready."
Pearl suddenly felt embarrassed. Amethyst had trusted her enough to reveal just why she was on a fusion hiatus not that long ago now, or so it seemed, and here she was. Trying to form Opal with her. But the Quartz looked earnest in her willingness. What if I'm a test? She thought. Maybe she wants to ease back into it with me. That only made the pressure on her shoulders heavier. "We could just... talk," she offered finally.
"Okay," Amethyst replied readily. "What d'ya wanna talk about?"
"I don't know. Feelings?"
"You know me and feelings don't mix, P."
"It's the same for me." Her long, spindly fingers found their way onto Amethyst's other shoulder, pulling her close. "That may just be our problem."
To her surprise, Amethyst simply laughed. "We're bad at this."
Steven was saved from what would definitely have been a harsh landing by four cradling arms, pulling him to Opal's chest. He clung to her and waited for his stomach to settle, tiny tremors of fear flitting across his face.
"It's okay," Opal said, her voice low and soothing, as she slid gently to the ground. "Garnet's got this. We can sit and relax."
He squeezed her sides gratefully, then carefully shifted so he was propped up on her lap. "Opal?"
"Yes?"
"Why're you here?"
Opal's face grew blank. She blinked at him twice before shrugging. "I don't remember."
"Oh. You forget a lot, huh?"
"More or less." She pressed a kiss to his forehead. "But I remember that I'm gonna keep you safe, and that's all I need."
Steven giggled a little. "Your hair looks nice."
"Does it?" Opal reached up, finding her long mane to be in a bun. "Well, I'll be."
"Opal?"
"Hmmm?"
"What's it like, being you?" The boy hesitantly fiddled with his fingers. "I mean- a fusion like you."
She tilted her head to the side. In the distance, they heard something exploding. "Is this about forming Heliotrope with Pearl?"
"Forming who?" Steven's face pinched. "Do you mean Rainbow Quartz?"
Opal shook herself. "Sorry, sorry. I'm really bad with names," she said sheepishly, then turned contemplative. "Well, I'm always comfy and warm. I don't last long, but the time I spend as myself is always good."
"Even when they're arguing?"
She shrugged. "Pearl and Amethyst are very different people. It's natural, and I don't mind. It makes my time all the more precious."
Steven relaxed, soothed slightly by her words. It was too soon to tell yet if the newest Rainbow Quartz would be like Opal; but, if they were, he could take comfort in the fact that their unstable nature might be okay after all. "Thanks, Opal."
"Anytime, Steven."
"I need bigger prey," Peridot decided suddenly one day, putting her hands on her hips. "Amethyst, spar with me."
Amethyst, busy sunning herself on the stones, snorted. "Hard pass."
She grabbed her hand and pulled, aghast. "You gotta!"
Connie purposefully tapped her shoulder, frowning. "You still haven't even beaten me, 'dot. You really want to go after the big dogs like this?"
"I can handle it!" she defended, shaking her off. "Come'on, Amethyst. You can't just leave me to the human like this."
"Can and am, Peri."
"How am I supposed to grow if I'm not given a proper challenge?"
Connie's eyes sharpened at that, scowling. "I'll break that visor of your's if you keep it up."
Peridot flinched and edged away from her, eyes half-lidded with contempt. "You see what I mean?"
"Peridot," Amethyst rumbled, but didn't keep going. She rolled onto her belly to study the Gem better, tiny nose wrinkling slightly. "You couldn't hurt a fly."
"Perhaps not." She bunched up her muscles for a pounce. "But I could hurt an Amethyst."
Steven and Connie both exchanged a laugh at their playful banter. The two Gems rolled around, Amethyst swatting away Peridot's fists with a laugh, Peridot cackling. Eventually Amethyst ended up on top of her, slamming a fist next to her head like she was in some sort of anime scenario, audibly giggling as she asked. "Do you yield?"
"Neeeeeeeeeeeeever!" Peridot cried, trying to kick her in the back.
Unfortunately, the happy scene jerked to a halt when a rather high-pitched voice had all of them freezing in their tracks. Pearl stood at the entrance of the sky arena, eyes wide, one hand resting on the stone.
"WHAT IS GOING ON HERE!?"
Amethyst sat up while Peridot shrunk a bit, blushing. "What does it look like, P?" She winked. "We wrasslin'."
Pearl dismissed the wayward pupils, pinching the bridge of her nose as she gathered her thoughts. Amethyst kicked her legs out, lounging back on the stone rubble she'd propped herself up on, and waited for her to speak.
Finally, her voice flat, Pearl asked: "How long has this been going on?"
"Which part?"
"There is no 'part' to this, Amethyst." She looked at her, blue eyes burning with a million questions and a trillion accusations. "How long have you been stealing my students?"
Amethyst rolled her eyes. "Okay, one, I'm not stealing anyone. They asked me for some tips, and I gave 'em tips. I kinda work as a living training dummy." She held up fingers as she counted off. "And two, I asked because I've been training with Steve-o and Con way longer than I have Peri, so."
"That doesn't help your case."
"I'm jus' being honest, Pearly-Pear."
"Okay." Pearl went back to pinching her nose. She sighed with frustration. "So let me get this straight. You've been giving my students tips without my permission. Knowing full well that we have completely different teaching styles, boundaries, and goals, probably muddling up various aspects of their learning process that I will have to correct later on?"
"Pretty much."
"Amethyst, that's just... so you."
"Thanks."
"You're welcome," she said dryly. Pearl set a hand on her shoulder. "Amethyst, you should've come to me about this."
"They asked, I delivered."
"We could've come up with a proper teaching plan. A schedule."
"And that's exactly why I didn't go to you."
Something flared in Pearl's blue eyes. "Do you have a problem with my teaching, Amethyst?"
"Peace, Pearl." Amethyst lifted her hands. "All I'm sayin' is that they expect different things from me than they do you. You teach them techniques, and body posture, and all that good stuff. I teach 'em how to work with adrenaline, and fear, and all that emotion junk." She lifted and lowered her hands as makeshift scales. "Different stuff, different Gems."
Pearl bent over a little, putting them at eye level. "So the problem is with my emotional support?"
"For pete's sake- you don't have a problem with anything, P!" Amethyst cried. "Why is it always such a big deal that people trust me with this stuff?"
"I never said it was!"
"That's, like, the biggest lie you've told all day." A stubby purple finger poked her in the nose. "You and Garnet both act like it's the end of the world when I step up and do something decently mature. Then you get all up in my grill when I'm being a little snot!" Her voice wavered, torn between anger and confusion. "So, which is it? Am I supposed to be a big tough tiger mom, or a bratty fun tiger sis?"
"Both!" Pearl snapped. "You're both. You've always been both."
"Then act like it," she emphasized.
"Believe it or not, it's not always about you."
"Are you really calling me selfish for helping your kids with the stuff you can't cover?"
"I'm merely stating that you have a habit of making every argument about yourself." Pearl's hand fluttered to her chest. "That's all."
Amethyst crossed her arms. "S'nice to know there's somethin' around here that's about me."
"What's that even supposed to mean?"
"Nothing, Pearl." She hopped off the rubble, face blank. Pearl hated it when she went blank. "It means nothing. Like it always does." She stalked away to the stairs, calling over her shoulder. "I'm just the queen of nothin'. The defective queen of nowheresville, brah."
The hurried stamping of shoes was the only warning Amethyst had before she was being wrenched backwards by the wrist. Pearl's voice was hauntingly quiet as it echoed off the sky arena.
"Where did you hear that?"
Amethyst's frown dipped full-scowl. "From the folks who actually care enough to let me make it about me."
"Pearl?"
"Yes, Steven?"
"Are you and Amethyst mad at each other?"
Pearl puffed out a sigh. "I'm not entirely sure myself, Steven."
"Oh." Steven awkwardly waved his feet off the end of the couch, contemplating. "Is it because she was helping us? 'Cause it's not her fault. We asked for her help."
"It's... It's a lot of things, really." She idly traced the smooth facets of her gemstone, subconsciously checking for dents and scratches- a habit borne from ages of war. "But that's part of it, yes."
"She just wanted to help."
"I know."
"She did help."
"I know."
Steven hesitated before continuing. "Then why are you mad?"
"Selfish reasons, mostly," Pearl admitted, but said no more.
"Everyone in this family is messed up in some way," Steven said suddenly, surprising her. He looked pretty surprised himself. "Usually it's lowkey. Then we glitch like video games, and some of the ugly comes out. I wish I didn't feel so ashamed of it." He glanced away. "I wish I could speak up like you do."
That night, they eat dinner in silence.
'Eat' is a subjective term, as Pearl doesn't eat and Garnet only really tends to eat sweets, but Amethyst and Steven gulp down their own meals with a forced cheerfulness that sends uncomfortable prickles down her back.
Garnet doesn't ask.
Amethyst refuses to speak.
Steven stares at his plate, a conflicted look on his face. He wants to prompt them, she can tell, but he's keeping his peace. He's quieting down.
It scares her more than she'd like to admit.
"Quiet down"
It's something I heard everyday
I knew it well
A proper Pearl
Is one who stays out of the way.
And then one day
One perfect, glorious day
I met a Gem with hair
The color of the morning sky
And she said to me
With quaint sincerity
"Speak up."
I sang my heart out
And then I gave it to her
As a gift
But I never wrapped it quite tight enough
Pearl sighed at her own foolishness, leaning her back on the nearest waterfall. She didn't know which was more pathetic- singing her troubles away, or that metaphor.
Cut to now
I've always liked being loud
My greatest achievements
I've always sung
But it's come to my attention
Though I'd prefer it not have been
That my mistakes remain bottled inside
I may speak up…
But I still quiet down.
She pushed off, hand flying outward with her own frustration.
How was I supposed to know?
The ways of this world confuse me.
Be loud, be proud, be flashy
Isn't that the way it's supposed to be?
But, then…
Her son is disappointed in me.
What to say?
What to sing?
This whole situation's been a disaster
The kind only I can bring.
Have I pushed too far?
Have I pushed not enough?
Am I simply just not up to snuff?
Pearl grabbed at her hair.
Why can't it be easy?
Why can't he just talk to me?
Why can't he just speak up?
A loud, overdramatic sigh ripped itself free from her lips.
When did I teach him?
How did I preach to him?
When did he learn to quiet down?
And how can I possibly
Probably, and plausibly
Turn back time
And take it back?
Oh, how I would love that.
To be the one
On a perfect day
To look him in the eye
And say
"Speak up."
Instead of being one of the
Many
Nameless
Faces
To tell him
"Quiet Down"
"Nice tune, P. A downer, but a sweet downer."
Pearl let out an undignified shriek, whirling around with her spear half-out. Amethyst peered over the edge of a waterfall, looking like she'd just seen the Gem kick her puppy. "Chiiiiilll, P. I just came up to apologize."
She blinked down at her. Amethyst took the silence as an affirmative, flipping herself up and over, dunking the dry half of her body in the lukewarm waves. "Apologize? To me?"
"I can be an adult when I gotta be," she shot back sourly, flicking her hair back. It's still in a braid, albeit much messier. "And you were right, I guess. They're your kids, and I should've talked to you first. There. I did an adult thing. See that, Pearl? I got this adult shindig covered."
Thin hands cup under her armpits, lifting Amethyst off the floor with a yelp. Pearl bundled the soaked Gem into her arms with a quiet yet relieved chuckle, pressing their foreheads together. "I need to re-do your look."
"I got a place we could go," she offered hesitantly. "S'more private. And it's clean, I swear."
"That sounds lovely," she murmured, and found she meant it.
There are a multitude of places in Amethyst's room that are considered clean and private. There's plenty Pearl doubts anyone is privy to. For all the Quartz's energy and fun and playfulness, there are days when she just wants to be left alone, and far be it from them to try and take that from her.
This place in particular is a pillow fort. Under her is soft and warm, shielded in by a large blanket with holes poked into the top. Amethyst kicks a lamp on, and a shower of lights glint across their forms like stars. It's a comfy place- though, realistically, there's no way for them to work on her ponytail here.
Pearl let out a tiny, bitter sigh. Her voice wavered a bit, uncertain, but song time with Steven had done something, so she might as well give it another go now.
Do you recall
That day
When I took you
To see the aurora borealis?
Amethyst shoot her a look of confusion but played along, her voice scratchy and uncertain.
I remember it was really cold.
Pearl nodded.
Or your first night
Under the stars
When I showed you where the big dipper was
Where Homeworld's galaxy lay?
Amethyst cracked a smile.
Preeetty sure you cried.
A light laugh.
I do tend to do that.
Amethyst stopped singing. "Remember when you out-drove the cops?"
She raised an eyebrow. "I do. It was recently."
"Yeah. It was pretty cool."
Pearl sighed. "We were so different back then."
Amethyst let out an uneasy laugh. "Not really."
"I beg to differ. We hung out a lot more."
"Because Rose asked you to watch over me."
Pearl felt disappointed, though she didn't know why. "Oh, Amethyst, you know it's not like that."
"Do I?" she asked.
"I'd like to think you do."
Amethyst rolled her eyes. "Don't front with me, P. I know how it is. You spent all your time with Rose. You did everything for her. The only reason you looked in my direction was because she told you to."
"I beg to differ," Pearl said, scowling.
"'Course you do. Nobody likes to get caught in the act. But I figured you'd 'prefer' knowing that I knew."
"What do you count all of this, then?"
Her voice was blank. "Your way of getting to Steven."
Pearl gasped. "Are you implying that I'm using you?"
"Are you actually trying to deny it?"
"Of course I am! It's not true!"
Amethyst scoffed. "You've always sucked at admitting when you're wrong."
"Like you're one to talk," she snapped.
She shrugged. "At least I'm trying. At least I'm learning."
"When?"
Her eyes narrowed. "Probably when people bother to tell me that I'm defective."
"Are we still on that? I thought you were feeling better about that."
"One talk doesn't magically make things better"
"Stars know I wish it did," she muttered.
Amethyst ignored that. "You know what pisses me off the most? That you guys didn't tell me. That Rose didn't tell me. Do you have any idea how much that hurts? That I couldn't talk to her about it when she was alive?"
"Don't go there."
"Too bad, I'm going there. You all left me in shambles, just so you could feel better about yourselves. Ooh, look at us, we raised this defective Quartz, we didn't tell her anything because she might make a decision for herself. We're gonna do the same thing to our leader's offspring. And then you wonder why Steven trusts me more?"
"Stop."
Amethyst broke into some sort of tune.
No, you need to hear this.
I've done everything
To put myself together
You did everything
You could
To stop me.
I ain't mad
Not too salty
But I don't do liars
You really oughta know that about me.
Pearl scowled.
What did you want us to do?
Blame you?
We love you
Amethyst rolled her eyes.
You're deflecting
Seems to be a skill.
Pearl finally decided to sit up, eyes stinging.
I'm reflecting
You seem to find it quite hard
Amethyst snorted.
Going to insults?
My specialty.
You're a coward
And you've got jealousy in your belly
I mention a possibility
You rip my head off
I've bent over backwards
For you lately
And you show it
By being petty
Pearl went on.
I thought you'd grown past this
This immaturity
Perhaps I was wrong
Perhaps I was just praying
You steal my pupils
You steal my attention
You recompense
Your own lack of awareness
You never change
Oh, you never do
You never change
Honestly, I don't know what you expect me to do.
Amethyst stood up, knocking her carefully made fort askew.
Oh, sure, I'm the one who never changes
Never heard that before
You're a bit late, duchess.
But you know what?
When you were off with Garnet
Makin' messes out of this family
Y'know who stayed?
Me.
You know who stood by Peri's side
When the going got bad
And Lapis left her behind?
Me!
Y'know who Steven leans on
When your words bite deep?
Me.
Pearl stood and walked away, hands clenched into fists. "I won't listen to this."
Amethyst's voice echoed in the distance.
Sure, go ahead
Go on and go
Just know
At the end of the day
I've changed more than you know
And the one stuck in a loop?
That's you.
Because at least I try
And that's more than you do.
The next day, the braid is gone, torn out with angry hands and angrier tears.
Amethyst found Steven huddled up on the edge of the stone hand, knees pulled to his chest, and joined him. "Whelp, I'm officially on the Pearl salt train, population of two. Toot toot."
"I'm not angry at Pearl," Steven said, eyebrows dipping down. "At least, I don't think I am. I think I'm mostly just mad at myself."
"You're always mad at yourself."
"I know. It sucks."
She reached out to ruffle his hair. "You wanna talk about it?"
Steven's reply was to flop against her side. "I know I shouldn't worry," he said. "It was our first time trying. But I've never had a rejection like that before."
"Like what?"
"Like... we both wanted to fuse, but we were so confused and uncertain it all fell apart. It kinda hurt."
She whistled. "Oh, yeah, that. I know that one."
He let out a quiet, sad little chuckle. "I don't suppose you have any tips for this?"
"I would say talk to her about it, but I'd be a hypocrite if I did. Just do you, Steven. It'll turn out alright."
Peridot didn't meet Pearl's eye as she handed the Gem her sword. The gentle heat of the arena made the steel glimmer.
"So," Pearl prompted. "That's it."
"That's it," Peridot agreed.
"You're really just quitting? After all the progress you've made?"
"Yup."
"Was Amethyst's private tutoring really that special to you?"
"No, no. That's not it." Peridot restlessly scratched her elbow. "I just... realized I wasn't made for this."
"I'm not either. It hasn't stopped me yet."
"Pearl?"
"Yes?"
"I'm trying to be mature and sensible here. Don't make it any harder for me than it already is."
"I don't follow," she admitted.
Peridot sighed, rubbed her nose, and gnashed her teeth. "What do you want me to say? You clearly don't think I'm actually useful. I assumed that mastering weaponry would make me more appealing for missions, but that is not the case." She took in a deep breath. "Nothing I do will make my presence on this team a necessity. Sure, my amazing skills may save the day when there's battleships or giant robots involved, but I'm... well, I'm not a main character."
"Peridot-"
"Exactly. I'm a Peridot. We're a hardy Gem." The green Gem squared her shoulders, trying to make herself look bigger- or, at least, a bit more solid. While definitely tough, it wasn't something that really showed. "I can handle rejection. I'm sure I'll yell and whine and complain, but I can handle it. You don't have to dance around the topic to make me feel better."
Pearl flapped her hands, frustrated. "Asteroids, Peridot, I don't think of you this way! Nobody does!"
"I think of myself that way!" Peridot retorted. "And I'm trying to think better of myself! But it's kind of hard when some Gems won't let me work to realize my full potential!"
"Risking yourself for no reward isn't realizing your potential!"
"That's pretty rich, coming from you!"
They stared each other down a long moment, waiting for the other Gem to spring full-force into a tirade. Finally, Pearl's shoulders loosened. She rubbed her eyes. "I'm starting to wonder if this entire situation is weirdly symbolic of my current predicament."
"I'm glad to know that my personal issues are helpful in deciphering instabilities in your life."
"Is that supposed to be serious or sarcastic?"
"Gee, I wonder."
Pearl started song time. It was just as awkward as it had been before, but Steven didn't complain when she perched next to him on the couch. It was exactly like it had been when she had prodded him in the first place, book and all.
Listen to me
I know I've made mistakes
But, please
Just know I'm trying.
And I hope
One day
We'll be able to look back on this
And laugh
At our own foolishness
I know
I haven't been the best
But, please
Know this
I'm trying.
I want to see the day
That these things are behind us
Be it far from now
Or tomorrow morning
Please, just know
I'm really trying.
Steven picked up the slack, surprising her.
I know
You have
A lot of expectations for me
Or maybe they're all in my head
Maybe I'm just really good at giving myself tests
Or maybe it's a mix
Not too clear either way
Just, please
Know I'm trying
I know I can cause a lot of trouble
But know I'm trying too
And I'll keeping on going
Until I'm completely through
Steven holds a hand out expectantly, the tiniest of smiles on his face.
Let's try together
Let's work through it together
I know you can do it
And I can too
Together, let's make a fusion bloom.
Instead of quieting down...
Pearl grabbed his hand, joining in.
Let's speak up instead.
"Amethyst-" Pearl started.
"No," Amethyst cut her off, holding her hands up, fully expecting them to devolve into another round of arguments. "I know this song and dance. I'm the queen of this song and dance. We ain't doin' this."
"I fused with Steven."
The Quartz stared at her, floored, lips parted for another scathing compliment, this one half-formed. "Oh."
Pearl grabbed her arms to shield herself from the shock. "Your advice helped matters a lot. I wanted to thank you."
"Uh, no big? Congrats."
"It is big," she argued. "I keep asking things from you, over and over again, and you never turn me away, no matter how selfish I can get. But I never really seem to show you how important that is to me." Pearl wiped away a stray tear, determined to keep her composure. "You're important to me, Amethyst. I'm sorry that I'm so bad at showing it."
Amethyst, her face having turned a rather interesting shade of lavender, sheepishly ruffled her long hair. "This is going a completely different way than I thought it would, honestly."
"In a good way, I hope."
"Yeah. Yeah, it is." Her eyes jumped at the chance to meet her's. "M'sorry, P. I can be a real jerk."
Pearl held out a hand, just as Steven had done. Amethyst took it, weaving their fingers together. "Well, you're in alike company, then."
They shared a secret, silly smile, and knew everything would be okay.
"Connie," Priyanka said impatiently. "Can you tell your friend to stop taking the grill apart?"
"I wish I could, mom," Connie answered earnestly, then waved for her to give them some space. It was hard to say when Peridot had arrived in her backyard. Her father had poked his head out to check the sky and found her surrounded by grill parts. He immediately called for his daughter. Connie had grabbed her typical training outfit as well as his jacket, as it was a chilly night, then joined her. "Peridot, I understand that you're upset. I am too. But do you really have to take it out on our cooking equipment?"
"Why shouldn't I?" she snarled in reply, clutching a wrench like she would a weapon- clumsily. "Your Earth technology is so basic it's pathetic. I could make you a better heat-holder with some scrap metal and a torch."
"It's a grill. We use it to cook."
"Cook what?"
"Meat, usually."
Peridot blinked at her, uncomprehending. Her nose wrinkled. "You eat other humans?"
Connie wrinkled her nose right back at her. "Ew, no. That's gross. We eat animals."
"That's not any better." Peridot kicked the gas container; then, looking like she regretted it, pulled her foot back with a hiss of pain. "Why not just eat it like it is? What could you possibly gain from setting it on fire?"
She shrugged. "Raw stuff can make you sick. Cooking it properly typically gets rid of that issue."
"Humans are so gross."
"I could go on a whole rant about how Gems aren't exactly kosher, but I won't." Connie reached out to touch her shoulder. "Tearing my grill apart isn't going to make this better."
Peridot sighed. The wrench fell uselessly into her lap. "Everybody keeps telling me that it's a matter of time and practice."
"It is," she agreed.
"But we don't have that kind of time."
"We don't," she repeated, quieter this time.
"It's frustrating." Peridot turned to her. "How do you stand it?"
Connie's eyes fell to her hands, which had begun to clench a little. "Honestly? I don't," she said. "This is gonna sound... weird. But, in a way, I admire you. You're so open about it. Half the time, I can barely talk to my parents."
"I don't know what those are, and I don't want to," Peridot responded, just a little stunned. "Wow. Thanks."
"Mmhm."
"I kind of look up to you, too, in a way. You always seem so composed during training."
"Oh, trust me, that's not even slightly the case. I've just gotten better at keeping my anxiety private."
Peridot laughs. "That's one thing I could stand to learn."
Connie smiled. "I'll teach you if you put my grill back together."
She picked the wrench up once again. "Deal."
Author's Note: Holy crap? I honestly didn't think I'd ever write a sequel to this? Let alone finish this?
I wrote the first 3/4's of this pretty quickly, but I made the mistake of writing out all the songs and therefore some of the important emotional bits first, and without the prize of building up to them, writing inbetween stuff is kinda tedious, hence why this took like over a month longer than it actually had to.
As for quality... I'm not sure, honestly. I feel like Pearl is the Gem my writing is flimsiest with. She's great at dodging emotional problems, and so is Steven, and it's kind of hard to try and find a way for them to mash up that feels natural. I didn't mean for Amethyst to be as intrinsic to the plot as she was, but I suppose it makes sense- she is the only Gem to have canonically fused with him. (Also have the lowkey/middlekey Pearlmethyst I guess lol) You bet your butts I enhanced the Connie-Peridot part of this as well.
This has waaay more songs than It Starts off Small, but that draws back to Pearl and Steven tbh. Amethyst has only gotten a handful of songs in show, so while she loves music, she's more into dancing. Pearl and Steven both are huuuuge music nerds, which makes this into a sort of fanfic Mr. Greg parody, almost.
Until next time!
-Mandaree1