A/N: My attempt at a romantic comedy. Don't let the title fool you, I won't be putting any erotic scenes in this. I'll try and update this weekly or bi-weekly.

XXX

Pew Pew Pew. 'Murica.

She turned her head and snorted.

Wait, did I say that out loud?

"You might as well have," Tattletale said to him.

He snickered at himself, but he didn't apologize. "I'm easily entertained," he commented.

Lisa sighed, she knew she desperately needed a break from the work she'd been doing. Doing non-stop work since Taylor left the team, Lisa's sole mission was re-establishing Coil's assets to her own proper liking.

Looking around the room, she stared at the blank wall to tone down the volume of her powers. The information would still enter her like a smooth river, but she didn't force its entrance like raging dams of water.

She turned to one of her two security guards. Both were veterans but treated their jobs starkly differently. While one treated his job with the utmost professionalism, the other was practically aloof. She wondered whether she should fire him.

She typed back onto her computer, shaking her head disapprovingly to him.

Welp, I've probably lost my job. Might as well pack up once my shift is over.

Matthew sighed. She paused typing from the computer.

If I'm doing something wrong, this girl should really let me know. Seriously, constructive criticism would be super helpful right now.

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Yep. He's definitely fired. Way too distracting. Plus reading him is just... guys are pretty easy to read. They either really want to work with us, or are really bored at the job. The amount of indifference with that guy was just... distracting.

XXX

Alright. I'll go to the next supervillain that pays me well. If I'm lucky, I'll just be moved to another Undersider's base. If I'm not, I'll probably be... Homeless in a month? In prison in a week? Or dead in a day? Meh, worse things could happen.

"Seriously?" Tattletale finally said to him.

I want to assume she reads minds, but I don't want to come off as racist.

Tattletale covered her mouth and began laughing. Matthew shrugged, "it's such a cliche..."

Tattletale shook her head. "No, guessing powers is not prejudice," she mocked.

Matthew shrugged again, "good to know." Matthew noticed she was leaning back from her desk. She probably needed a break from all the work she'd been doing all day. As a security guard, it was his job to make sure she wasn't disturbed from her work. But as a person, he felt she needed a break from the heavy amount of work she was doing. A chance to recharge those mental batteries.

XXX

Well, this is interesting. He's about to entertain me.

XXX

Matthew lifted his chin, "reading minds must suck. I'm 100% certain you hear things you're better off not knowing. Nudge, nudge, wink wink, Y'know."

"You don't know the half of it," she snickered. "Besides even what guys generally think, the things people are insecure about are astounding."

Matthew felt a challenge initiated, and began recollecting all the insecurities he'd accumulated over his life time. The movie Troy made me insecure about my mortal body once. My mum gives me the disappointed look when I see her since I'm still not married. Popular books make me feel like a sheep, but I still read them so I'll have something to talk about with my friends.

Tattletale rubbed the templates of her head. "You get all that?" Matthew asked.

"That, and so much more."

"This is really fun."

"You're the second strangest person I've ever met."

I enjoy making drug jokes even though I've never gotten high. My brothers make fun of me for living in America, so sometimes I send them post cards with monopoly money to piss them off.

Tattletale got up from her chair, furiously trying to contain her laughter. "Okay, I get it, I'll take a break." She headed out the room, "You too Matthew."

"Cool. Are you still gonna fire me?"

"Nah, if I fired everyone because their thoughts were weird, this base would be empty." She headed towards the door.

He took a glance at Tattletale. She was four years younger than him, but he could tell she was still blossoming into a young women. He hadn't noticed it until he'd heard her speak, but her speech carried an aura of both genuinity and pride. She really was the smartest person in the room, and she was truly proud of that.

To him, that level of intelligence seemed more like a burden. The phrase "the more I know, the more I realize there's little I can do about it" came to mind. Then again, Tattletale was running a crime ring, so maybe she did have the strings to move the world the way she wanted to. To Matthew though, her, and all the actions she did, felt small, in the grand scheme of things.

"Wanna eat lunch together?"

"Can I take it out of your paycheck?"

"No." Matthew said casually.

"You really don't get the concept of dating do you?"

Ma'dam, would you like me to pull out my coupon book?

"What, oh God no."

"Cool. There's a cafe right across from here. Tea, or Coffee?"