The trials of professor Fubuki
I do not own kuroko's basket
Pov professor Fubuki
After reading my students' presentation sheets, I knew that teaching them History would not be a walk in the park. But the things that I had to endure defies anything that I might have imagine back then.
First thing first, there is the fact that capillary speaking when you take a good look at my students it is as nice and colorful as a Care Bears episode. I am not kidding! But this is only a small observation, the kind of thing that just kind of pop-out, you can not miss that. Technically the six first classes had been alright, I mean that everybody was there and awake. Well a normal class. It is on the seventh course that the strange things began to happen.
I got into the classroom as usual. I made the roll call as usual, everybody is present, great. Then in the middle of the lesson, I decided to ask someone just to see if they were paying attention to the class, so I took my class roll call, closed my eyes and put my finger on the paper. Then I called for Kuroko Tetsuya, I lifted my eyes and then… big blank his seat is open but I did the roll call and everyone was accounted for. And each time that I tried to interrogate him it was always the same thing: he is there without being present. In the end I think that he only comes to class for the roll call and after that he is able to disappear I do not know how, well it is either that or I am becoming crazy.
After that some of my students decided that my classes were the appropriate moment to eat any kind of snacks or drink tea, not really taking notice of the hour of the day the lesson was at. I naturally tried to put a stop to this but I quickly renounced after Murasakibara Atsushi declared that he would crush me like crisps if I still tried to keep him from his precious snacks. And let's be realistic, I really feared for my life that day because if we consider his tall frame he could clearly put on his threat. This was followed by an acute Murasakibarite epidemic. Everybody was drinking tea with their snack during my class. And I am ashamed to admit it but I was also contaminated since I now have a thermos flask full of tea sitting on my desk. Though I was still able to banish crisps from my classroom since they make too much noise while being munched on.
Then during my Thursday afternoon period there has been a nap epidemic, but after further investigation it seemed that it was due to an indigestion. The first to fall were Kise Ryouta and Aomine Daiki. Apparently, they had tasted a dish cooked by one Momoi Satsuki. Once asked about the reason that made her give some of her so special cooking to those two poor unfortunate boys she responded that: « I needed to be sure that it was edible before giving my bento to Tetsu. ».
Really what kind of stupid question is that, I mean come on is it not the most logical thing in world. It is best to poison two unsuspecting guinea pigs rather than the loved one, easy as pie.
Once again, this time we were nearing Christmas it was during Homeroom. We were supposed to decide upon an idea of activity for the school festival as well as decorating the classroom for Christmas. Regarding the decoration of the classroom some of the students were more involved than others. For example, Akashi Seijuro had declared that he was in a party mood so he immediately set himself to work and created an uncountable number of Christmas paper chain. The liar, it was just a way for him to get his hands on a pair of scissors. But I must admit that he is able to use them with great dexterity. In the end, it is impressive yet scary which reminded me of my biggest fright since teaching this class:
FLASHBACK
It took place about three weeks from now more or less. That day I had a cold. I was writing with chalk on my blackboard when I was overtaken by the urge to sneeze, I did not have the time to finish what I was writing that ATCHOUM… followed by a CLANG … and a « bless you sir. ». I did not have the time to thanks my student when I understood where the CLANG came from, a bright red pair of scissors had impaled itself on my blackboard on two good centimeters. I turned around facing my class when Akashi Seijuro said « You forgot an –s sir. » with a smile that told you that butter would not melt in his mouth (that is only if you do not know where the scissors came from). Too shocked that I nearly died I could not say anything. But before going back to my lesson I decided to take the scissors out of my poor blackboard, unsuccessfully. This was followed by a Kaamelott kind of moment, one by one all of my students tried to take Excalibur (aka the pair of scissors) out of her rock (aka my blackboard) with no success until the chosen (aka Akashi Seijuro) succeeded with no real difficulty it seemed.
End of FLASHBACK
Back on topic, I gave them a week to think about it. And a week later, I was barely inside the classroom that the first thing I took notice of was the enormous Santa Claus at the back of the room that Aomine Daiki was using as a dart board for his pencil in order to make it talk « Oh oh oh… ». When I asked as to the reason as to how that thing came to be here, Kuroko Tetsuya pointed out Midorima Shintaro. I turned to him for an explanation and the only thing he told me was : « Oha-asa foretold me a bad day so I acquired the cancer lucky charm of the day in order to lessen my bad luck. ». In the end this one might just be too far gone.
Following the vote our class decided to do a café for the school festival winning against the drama by only two votes. I hardly had the time to tell them that the class that would make the most money got to choose the destination of their school trip (Sapporo/Kyoto/Osaka). Sadly I had forgotten how much my class loved competition. Not even a minute later, they came up with the biggest scam that Teiko middle school had ever seen: the one able to score a basket in a one on one against Murasakibara,Aomine or Midorima get free consumption. Then, it was decided that Momoi should not come near the kitchen (wise decision) and that Kise would be a waiter since he is very popular. To finish Akashi would take care of the cash register so as to scare of potential thieves. I suppose that there is no need to say that defeat is not an option.
The end