Authors Note; This is just a little mushy idea I had, that I thought I'd write. I actually wrote it like, 6 months ago, and I've looked it over several times and edited it a bit, and now I think it's ready to post. It can't always be so serious! Or very good. Out of the few things I've written, I'd say this one isn't my best work. But hopefully there's a bit of a good mushy story in there, that hopefully you will enjoy! Soon, there will also be a little after story to my christmas fic "A Memory for Christmas" that I hope you guys will like. Now, on with it;
This is just a little one-shot, where Kate has a big change coming and Miles is trying to behave like he doesn't care. But what happens when Miles is the only person around to help Kate? What happens in the future? Can life work out for 5 people, who's gone through what these 5 have?
Untraditional Family
It had been almost two months since they came back from the Island. For some of them, it wasn't their first time returning. Frank had landed the Ajira plane somewhere in Fiji and from there, they had found a way back to society. Searching through peoples luggage, they had collected enough money and jumped a container ship back to the states.
Once back on American ground, James, Richard, Miles, Claire and Kate, had moved into a house, provided by Richard. None of them really felt like living on their own. Frank had gone to New York to continue to work as a pilot. How he could do that, after everything that had happened, Kate would never understand.
Living so closely together brought both good and bad things with it. There were often disagreements and arguments, but they had also found each other again and formed new bonds with each other. Claire had gotten Aaron back and slowly found her way back to being a mom. Her and James had grown closer over some time, but Kate had chosen not comment on it, or ask about it. If they were to find some sort of happiness and love togther, she didn't mind that at all. She doubted she would ever find love again herself. The loss of Jack had simply been too big for her.
Richard, who had only been off the island for special cases, spent most of his time reading, learning to use the newest technology, and keeping the lot from tearing each others heads off. Being the oldest of them, it came naturally to him to be the "leader."
Miles wasn't much to be seen around the house. He kept mostly to himself. Kate wondered if he struggled with something. She had thought of asking him about it. They'd had some talks before, so it wasn't like they were complete strangers. But still, something kept her from asking him.
Kate herself, lived much like Miles. She kept to herself. She mourned the loss of Jack in private and didn't speak much about it to anyone. Her and Claire had, had a few talks, but Kate mainly wanted to deal with it alone.
Even though she thought herself to be close to both James and Claire, and got along excellent with Richard, she couldn't have felt further away from the group and alone. Yet, she didn't exactly want to be all alone.
Maybe Miles felt the same way. He'd lost his dad for the second time in his life and found out his mother had passed as well. Maybe he was mourning too and maybe that made him feel seperate from the group too.
Kate wondered all these things while she tapped her shaking fingers on the granite countertop in the bathroom.
The kitchen timer, that was shaped as a strawberry, beeped rapidly and suddenly on the counter. More loudly than usual, Kate thought. She knocked it over in her hurry to turn it off. The two minutes had gone by too fast. With shaking hands and sweat breaking out all over her body, she picked up the little white stick.
For some time now, she'd felt nauseous and uncomfortable in general. Her chest had been sore and the smell of cooked meat had made her leave the room several times. When she skipped her first period, she'd thought it was because of stress. When she skipped her second and found herself, with her head in the toilet 4 days in a row, she knew something was up.
"Oh god." she whimpered. She almost lost her balance. Her head suddenly felt very dizzy. Leaning against the counter for support, she looked at the pregnancy test once again. Two pink lines stared right up at her.
Positive.
The tears burned her eyes as she dropped the test in the sink and brought her hands up to her face. She covered her mouth and closed her eyes. "Oh god," she sobbed. She sunk down to the floor.
Her nose started running furiously and she crawled across the floor to grab a piece of toilet paper. She dried her nose as the pain in her chest became unbearable. She wrapped her arms tightly around herself, as if to prevent falling apart. She'd only just stopped crying over Jack every night. Now she stood there, with a positive pregnancy test in hand, and knew for sure, that it could be none other than Jack's child. She remembered the night in his apartment before they went back to the island.
A hard knock on the door startled her. "Other people need to get in there."
Miles. Kate should have figured. Of the two bathrooms in this place, he chose to beat down the door on the one she was in. "Just a second." She called, hoping he wouldn't hear her voice crack.
She flew up from the floor, quickly picked the test up from the sink and shoved it down the waistband of her khaki shorts. She folded the box and did the same with that. Then she pulled her shirt over it so it wouldn't be seen. She flushed the toilet paper and looked herself over in the mirror. Her cheeks were wet and her eyes were already red. She dried the tears off with the back of her hand and splashed some cold water on her face. It didn't help. She turned towards the door, wishing she could just slip out and that would be that.
Kate unlocked the door and opened it, finding Miles standing on the other side with his hand on the door frame. She slipped by him and noted that her red eyes didn't slip past him as easily as her body.
"Thank you," Miles commented, dragging out the 'you' and entered the bathroom.
Kate didn't look back and walked straight towards her bedroom, down the hall.
Kate's agonized expression didn't escape Miles when she slipped past him in the doorway. Her face had been a badly controlled mask of calm. She wasn't very good at hiding her feelings. Unlike him.
He closed the door behind him and locked it. He figured she was just crying over Jack again. His bedroom happened to be right next to hers, and their beds happened to stand by the same wall. He'd listened to her cry every night for at least six weeks after their return. Normally he would have commented on it in a less polite way, but not this time. He allowed her to mourn in – somewhat – privacy, without his snarky and often negative comments.
As Miles stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around his waist, his eye caught something on the floor. He bent down and picked it up, realising it was a piece of paper. Most likely from some sort of medicine. He turned it to look at the other side.
"How to use"
Miles' eyebrows went up as far as they could, as he looked over the instructions on the paper.
"Well…" He mumbled.
Kate's pained expression made a lot more sense now. Miles put the paper down on the counter and started putting on his clean set of clothes. If Kate was pregnant, there was one thing he didn't understand. One thing he might not want to understand at all. How? Perhaps it wasn't Claire who James was so interested in after all. Miles knew Kate had history with him, but he thought it was just that… history. Why did he even care?
Miles shook the whole line of thought and picked up the paper. He wasn't asshole enough to leave it there for someone else to find. He threw the towel in the hamper and left the bathroom.
Kate sat on her bed looking at the positive test in her hand. The box was hidden in her nightstand and she planned to take it with her and throw it in a dumpster the next time she left the house.
She was at a loss. She counted that it had been about ten weeks, since her night with Jack. A million thoughts entered her mind. Would everything be OK? Was she still able to be a good mother? Would the others help her?
Not having it, wasn't even an option. She could never do that. Specially not to Jack's child. As much as it pained her to know, that this child would be a constant daily reminder of him, her mind was already made up.
Her tears was a sign of shock and grief, but not actual unhappiness. No, there was no doubt in her mind. She took care of Aaron for 3 years, as his mother and she considered herself to have done a good job. But she wondered if she could bring all those things forward in herself again. She sighed.
A quiet knock on her door pulled her out of her thoughts. She quickly placed the test under her thigh. The door was opened quietly and Kate was surprised to see who walked through it.
Miles.
He closed the door quietly behind him and Kate wondered why he did that, like nobody was supposed to know that he was there. Like he was sneaking.
"What is it?" Kate asked as Miles approached her.
Miles stopped next to her bed and held his hand out. "I think this is yours." He said quietly, handing her the piece of paper.
When Kate realised what it was, she gasped and nearly ripped the paper out of his hand.
"Oh god." She breathed, embarrassed.
She looked down, cursing that it had been Miles of all people to find something like that. She hadn't planned on anyone knowing for at least a few more weeks. How could she not have noticed that the leaflet fell from the box? Shit, she thought.
"I'm guessing you have some news to tell," Miles remarked and raised his eyebrows. Then he left the room without another word.
Kate sat for several minutes staring at the closed door. She mentally repeated the word shit. Quite unlike her to curse, she thought that at least mentally, right now it would be OK.
Another knock on her door sounded. "Yes?" She called.
Claire opened the door quietly. Kate instantly thought Miles had babbled already.
"We're going to be late," Claire reminded her.
Kate was momentarely confused before she remembered Claire's dentist appointment. Her teeth hadn't been taken care of properly for over 3 years, so Kate had convinced her to make an appointment, promising to go with her and hold her hand.
She rised from the bed quickly. "Sorry," She apoligised. "I just need my shoes, then we can go."
"I'll wait outside." Claire smiled and left.
Kate quickly pulled on her sneakers and left her room to grab her purse - which she'd placed on the kitchen counter that same morning. Miles, James and Richard sat at the dining table playing cards. Kate couldn't avoid Miles eyes on her when she entered the kitchen/dining room. He held her eye contact for a few seconds, then he looked back at his cards. Kate couldn't quite read him. She never really could with him. He face was always very apathetic.
"We'll be back in a bit," Kate shouted, before she closed the front door of the house and joined Claire on the curbside. The dentist was in walking distance and they had a good half hour, before they needed to be there.
"God, I'm so nervous," Claire whispered, running her hands over her upper arms, as they walked down the street towards the dentist.
"It's gonna be OK," Kate comforted. She didn't know who she was trying to comfort more – Claire or herself.
Coming back from the island had been hardest on Claire. The island had changed her. It had brought her over to the dark side and it had been hard for her to leave it again. After their return, there had been a few incidents, but once Claire was reunited with Aaron, the darkness began to leave her and she slowly found her way back to being a mother.
"Are you alright?" Claire asked. She looked deep into Kate's eyes.
Kate had been walking quietly beside her for several mintues. She was too caught up in her own thoughts.
"Yeah." Kate turned her head and smiled. There was some uncertainty behind her smile. "Yeah, I'm great."
"Are you sure?" Claire questioned.
"I'm sure." She assured.
They continued to walk in silence towards the dentist. Claire kept fidging with her hands and Kate resumed her thoughts about the upcoming addition to her life.
She was sure Claire would support her – being a mother herself. But somehow it mattered a great deal to her to have James' support. She had no idea how he would react to this. The never ending hostility between Jack and James might mean she wouldn't get a positive reaction from him.
She just hoped that their bond and feelings towards each other would be enough to get his support.
That evening, Kate found the house to be more quiet than usual. The only thing to be heard was movement in the kitchen and some ball game on TV. She had given up on her book several minutes ago, finding that she'd read the same sentence about five times. Having Miles know about her pregnancy made her nervous. She felt like she wasn't in control anymore. She was afraid that he would, or already had told the others about it. But wouldn't they have commented on it then? Maybe, maybe not.
Because of her carelessness in the bathroom, she would have to tell everyone about it much sooner than she'd planned to. She felt forced, and that caused her heart to pound in her chest non stop.
"Dinner's ready!" Claire called from the kitchen.
While Miles and Richard joined Claire and James at the table a few seconds later, Kate remained seated for several minutes, trying to calm her racing heart. Suddenly she wasn't very hungry anymore. She took a few deep breaths and raised off of the couch. She sat down at the only empty seat next to James, where a plate of lasanga stared up at her.
The minutes passed in silence while they ate. During the whole meal, Miles looked at her from across the table with an intense, penetrating look. Just like always, she couldn't read his emotions. Did he care? Was he trying to challenge her to speak up? Was he gonna speak up if she didn't?
The knot in her stomach became even tighter and she cleared her throat. "Umm…. I have something I'd like to say." She began.
Suddenly all eyes laid upon her. Miles stopped in mid-chew and nearly dropped his fork. The surprise was clear on his face. They all waited.
Kate looked down at her plate and shook her head. Then she raised it back up. Breathe in…
"I'm pregnant." She annouced with a steady voice.
In the silence that followed her words, they could have heard a needle drop in the other end of the house.
The big grandfather clock in their shared living room announced midnight. Kate was back on the couch in the living room. She'd been sitting there since after dinner.
After she'd announced she was pregnant, the whole room went quiet for almost a minute. She proceeded to tell them, that it was Jack's baby and that she was going to keep it. James had been the first to show his support. He'd laughed and made a joke about Kate not wasting any time. Then he had leaned over and hugged her and whispered in her ear, that he would be there and help her, all the way. Claire had also showed her support, complimenting Kate on having done a good job with Aaron in the three years Claire wasn't around. Richard had congratulated with a smile and with that, also showed his support. Miles had continued to eat his dinner and when James asked him if he was going to say something, he revealed that he already knew. He hadn't said any supporting words, or smiled and Kate figured it fit Miles' general personality fairly well. He didn't seem like the baby or family type.
Her tea had gone cold long ago. She had been thinking over everyones reaction to her news, and her own reaction to that. She had felt like a huge stone had been lifted off her chest. She was relieved that James had reacted positively to her news. When he'd hugged her and whispered in her ear that he would be there all the way, she'd almost wanted to cry.
She heard soft footsteps behind her. She turned her head to look over her shoulder. Miles entered the living room, dressed in pj pants and a t-shirt. His hair was quite messy. It was obvious he'd been sleeping for a few hours. He did that a lot.
Kate looked back down at her cold tea. Miles walked past her and into the kitchen, where she heard him take a glass from the cubboard and fill it with water. He returned to the living room.
"Hey," He said, rounding the couch. He put his glass down on the coffee table and sat down on the opposite end of the couch.
"Hey," Kate whispered and untangled her legs. She sat her cold cup of tea down on the table.
A minutes time passed in silence. Then Miles opened his mouth to speak. "I wasn't trying to challenge you to speak up earlier."
"Yes, you were." She said, knowing he was lying. She softened her words with a tiny smile.
"Okay, I was." Miles laughed nervously. "I'm just not very good with secrets."
"It's fine." Kate assured, trying to close the subject again.
They went quiet for some time again. Miles didn't get up to leave and neither did Kate. Miles drummed his fingers on the back of the couch. He wanted to say something to show that he cared, but he wasn't sure what to say. He hadn't exactly showed his support earlier on.
"Did you see a doctor yet?" He suddenly blurted out.
Kate moved her eyes to his. "No. Not yet." She answered, clearly surprised.
"When are you going?"
"Friday." Kate answered. She was taken aback by his sudden interest.
Miles nodded and got off the couch. "Alright." He said as he took his glass and left the living room.
Kate stared after him as he left, wondering why he'd suddenly asked those questions. Then she got up, left her tea on the table and went to bed.
After having laid awake for hours, wondering, she finally fell asleep.
The next seven months went by faster than Kate had counted on. There had been doctors appointments, planning and birth preparation classes, and lots and lots of shopping. Kate had revealed that the baby was a little girl. They had focused on buying lots of pink stuff, but since light blue was one of Kate's favorite colours, she had bought two onesies in that colour. One of them was a part of the baby's first outfit.
Her bedroom was more than large enough to fit all the baby stuff she needed. James had put together the changing table and the crib as well. It was all white, with flowers decorated along the sides. A dresser stood next to the changing table and contained more than enough clothes. Kate wasn't even sure, she would get to use it all before the baby grew out of it.
Claire and James had been taking turns in going to doctors appointments with her. Richard had also gone with her to one of her scans. Kate had smiled to herself, at the way Richards eyes lit up when he saw the baby on the screen. That sort of technology didn't exist when he was married to Isabella and Kate didn't know how involved he'd been in the baby issues on the Island, so she wasn't sure if he'd actually seen a scan before. Even though he wasn't related to them at all, she knew Richard would love this child. She knew it pained him that he never got to have one with Isabella.
Miles hadn't shown much interest since the evening they had talked on the couch. He'd asked a few short questions about her and the baby's well-being, but other than that, he'd stayed out of the way. Kate sensed something from him, but she wasn't entirely sure what it was yet. She had noticed that he only asked when no one else was around and he only offered his help, when there was no one else to do so. Kate wondered if Miles wanted to ask more questions and wanted to help, but didn't want to put himself on the spot. She suspected that he didn't want the others to know that maybe he cared.
Late at night, four days before her due date, Kate was woken by a sharp pain. She thought, her dreams had been playing tricks on her, but no. There was a sharp pain pulling at her. She sat up in bed to find out what was going on. For several minutes she felt nothing else. She sighed and moved to lay back down and go back to sleep, when the pain came again. Her hand imediately went to her stomach. She groaned slightly. The pain passed once again.
"Ouch," She whispered. But there was no need to panic, she already knew what this was, so she calmed her heart with a few deep breaths. These were most likely contractions. Her due date was four days away, so it didn't surprise her. She had never been in labor before, but women from the birth preperation classes had told her, she wouldn't mistake the real contractions when they came, and these were definitely contractions.
She sat through one more with gritted teeth and then she raised off of the bed slowly.
James and Claire were visiting Cassidy and Clementine, a couple of hours drive away, so there was no way they would be able to get back here in time. Richard had gone on a trip alone to Tenerife and was supposed to have returned yesterday, but his plane had been cancelled because of a local storm.
Kate felt her calm leave her again. James and Claire was supposed to be the ones to be there. They had gone with her to the birth preperation meetings. They were the ones who had been taught the techniques to help and support her. She almost felt a childlike hysteria come over her. The kind where you want to cry and stomp your feet on the ground.
"Damn it." Kate whispered and left her bedroom.
She didn't bother knocking on Miles' door and walked straight in. He was sleeping deeply, laying on his stomach with his duvet half thrown off of his body. She walked to the side of the bed and leaned down to touch his shoulder.
"Miles. I need you." She whispered loudly.
Miles flew up at her touch. Kate heard him take a sharp breath of surprise from having been woken up. He turned around too fast, getting his legs tangled in the duvet.
"What?" He asked, a little bit annoyed to have been woken at 3 o'clock in the morning.
"I need you." Kate repeated.
"For what?" Miles asked again, drying away what he could only guess was his own drool, with the back of his hand.
"I think I'm having contractions." Kate explained and as if on que, a new contraction came.
Miles barely had time to think. It was 3AM and he could barely keep his eyes open. Kate was standing beside his bed, her hands balled into tight fists and her teeth gritted. A small cry of pain escaped her lips. Then Miles remembered that no one else was home.
"Shit," He exhaled and untangled his legs from the sheets. The realisation hit him. He was the one who had to drive to the hospital and he was the one who had to stand by her side until the baby was born. If he wasn't an adult man, he would have shit his pants in fright. He'd never even considered that something like this might happen.
Sweat broke out all over his body and he flew up from the bed. He quickly grabbed Kate's upper arms and turned her around. "Come here. Sit down," He managed to say, then he raced to his closet.
Kate sat on Miles' bed, taking deep breaths, trying to make herself calm again. Miles was awake, now everything was going to be fine. She repeated that in her head.
Ripping off his pj pants, Miles pulled a pair of old sweatpants out from the closet. He pulled them on so fast, he almost fell over. Then he pulled his t-shirt over his head and grabbed a clean one. Not that the hospital would care about his t-shirt.
Behind him, Kate raised off the bed. "I need my bag. It's by my bed."
She could see Miles wasn't handling the situation as well as she was. The pain was bad, but she figured it could be worse. She knew it would be worse. Right now, she could still stand and walk on her own. She figured that was a good thing. She felt calmer already, now that she was sure Miles was awake and she knew he would take her to the hospital. At the moment, she chose not to think about having to go through the birth alone.
"I'll get it." Miles exhaled hard, out of breath already, and stepped into his shoes.
"Miles, I can get it myself."
But Miles had already left the room. Kate shook her head. Classic male reaction, she thought to herself. She briefly remembered Charlie's reaction when Claire gave birth to Aaron. How Jin had to hold him back and let Kate handle it. She was just about to chuckle when she suddenly felt something. Her pants became wet, and for a moment, she thought that she had peed her pants. Then she realised that her water had just broken. It ran down her legs and onto the floor. Was that supposed to happen already? She looked down and saw that the water was completely clear. That was a good thing. Or so she had been told. A slight panic worked it's way back into her head.
Miles returned to the room with her bag slung over his shoulder. He took in Kate's expression.
"What is it?"
"I think my water just broke," Kate whispered. "I'm not sure that's supposed to happen already."
Miles detected the underlying tone of panic in her voice. He reached out to take her hand. "Come on." He tried to sound calm. "I'll clean that up later."
Still dressed in her pj's, Kate took his hand and they walked through the house. They had to stop in the hallway because of another contraction. Kate held on to both of Miles' hands, while he stood helplessly, doing the best he could to try and help her. But he hadn't gone to any of the classes with her. It had been clear from the start that James and Claire were the ones who was supposed to be there. Miles now regretted that he hadn't at least googled something.
Kate sat in the car, taking slow deep breaths. The contractions weren't consistant and exactly the same time apart yet. She tried not to upset herself with worries, but naturally they came. Was this normal? Did everything usually happen this fast? Or did it just feel that way? Was the baby OK? She worried about the birth. She didn't worry about the pain. That didn't matter to her. She worried about whether or not it would go easy – or would it be difficult? Fast or slow. Would they end up having to do a c-section? What was the risk that she could die from blood loss? Would the baby be OK? That one came back over and over. Will she be OK?
She was pulled out of her thoughts when Miles agressively slammed his hand down on the horn several times and yelled 'move' to the car infront of them. The stress was beaming off him like a ray of sunlight. Kate couldn't blame him, but she didn't want to die in a car crash.
"Miles, calm down," She said with a soothing voice. "There's no need for you to stress like this."
Miles didn't slow his speed. He yanked the car to the left, to get past the one infront of them. "The hospital is too far away!" He hissed.
"I know," She said calmly, "But you need to slow down, before we end up on the side of the road."
Miles let out a frustrated breath, but finally slowed the car down to a more resonable speed.
Kate reached over and lightly touched his arm. "It's OK." She whispered softly. Another contraction came and she quickly removed her hand from his arm to avoid disturbing his driving.
It seemed like Miles cared more than he let on, which was exactly what Kate had suspected since the night on the couch. His breathing was hard, he held the steering wheel so tight, she thought it might break, and she could see a whirlwind of emotions in his eyes. Panic. Fear. Worry. Impatience. Impatience, most of all.
She never thought Miles was capable of having so many emotions.
Suddenly, on top off it all, she felt guilty for thinking that about him; for thinking that he had no emotions and that nothing ever faced him at all. She took another deep breath, while another contraction passed.
Miles hadn't left her side since they placed her in the hospital bed and examined her. They had listened to the baby's heartbeat and Kate had let out a relieved breath when they said everything was OK. The doctor had calmed her and explained that most births didn't always go right by the book. Miles had stood on the side line and let out the same relieved breath as Kate had done.
Kate had already been at 5 cencimeters when they got to the hospital. The contractions had – as Kate had predicted – gotten much worse over the course of the next two hours. Several curses had left her mouth during the really strong ones. Miles had still stood helplessly by her side, not being able to do much but offer her a hand to squeeze and caressed her back. She had refused any kind of pain medicine that they offered her.
Kate wasn't under the belief that medicine would hurt the baby, but there was something she wanted to prove to herself. She wanted to prove that she could do this too. After everything she had done in her life – on and off the island – she wanted to prove that she could go through this birth - without any pain relievers. Miles had asked her several times if she wanted something for the pain, to which she – more than once – had hissed a very large 'No!' When it had gotten really bad, he had almost called the nurse himself.
The birth itself took just under half an hour.
The doctors had urged Miles to sit behind Kate on the bed, to support her and he had done as he was told. He'd sat behind her, holding both her hands, trying to say soothing things, while Kate repeatedly pushed and let out cries of pain, that he never wanted to hear again in his life.
As soon as the baby was out, the doctor had informed them of what they already knew – it was a girl. Then they had quickly cut the cord and taken her to a small table nearby. Kate looked at the nurse, confused. Wasn't the doctor supposed to lift the baby up to her chest? The nurse quickly explained that they needed to examine her, to make sure she was alright. It was then, that both Kate and Miles noticed that the baby hadn't cried.
Kate had felt the panic rise in her chest in a single heartbeat and even Miles had frozen in place. The pain in both his hands was long forgotten. They waited in complete silence for - what most likely - had only been less than a minute, but felt like years.
Kate held on to one of Miles' hands, even though the birth was over. She'd pulled it all the way infront of her, as if his hand would help her from falling apart. Miles instinctively wrapped his free arm around her, just above her chest, holding on to her upper arm on the opposite side. He could feel her heartbeat just under his elbow. If he looked down, he was sure he would be able to see it beat against her skin. His chin rested on her head, just above her ear. His breath wouldn't bother her, because it wasn't even there.
Tears had already formed in Kate's eyes.
Just when the world seemed to have gone to a complete stop, a loud cry had pierced through the hospital room and instantly, they knew the baby was alright. Miles removed the arm he'd wrapped around Kate, so she would be able to hold the baby.
Kate sighed loudly and dropped Miles' hand and brought her hand to her chest. A few tears rolled down her cheeks in mere relief. The nurse wrapped the baby in a blanket and then handed her to Kate. She instantly clutched the baby to her chest, with weak arms. Miles sneaked an arm around to help support the baby underneath.
Drenched in sweat, with a headache she had no idea where came from, and tears in her eyes and on her cheeks, Kate saw her baby girl for the first time. She held the baby even tighter in her arms and leaned her head down to kiss her forehead. She now understood what all the women meant when they said that, the love you feel is unlike any other. This love wasn't like anything she'd felt, when she took care of Aaron. She'd never loved anyone like this. A warm feeling filled her from top to bottom and she knew that from his moment, she was a mom. She sobbed loudly, and smiled.
She was a mom.
Miles sat on the hard wodden chair next to Kate's bed. At some point, he'd leaned forward and placed his head on the mattress. He still held one of Kate's hands in his. She was finally sleeping, after having argued with both the nurse and Miles. She hadn't wanted to let the baby go. Miles had tried to convince her, that no one was taking the baby away from her, but she still hadn't wanted to let the baby go. "You don't know that!" She'd cried. Miles understood where her fear came from, but the nurse thought she was just being ridiculous. In the end, the nurse had agreed to leave the baby by her bed while Kate slept. The baby had also fallen alseep shortly after.
Miles had shortly left her side to use the bathroom and call James and Richard. James had said they would leave Cassidy's place within an hour. Richard had said to pass on his congrats and said he would be on a plane later that day - if the storm passed. Miles had returned to the room and fallen asleep.
Miles woke to a sound he didn't quite recognize. He lifted his head off the bed and looked at Kate. She was still sleeping, not letting out a sound. He looked to the opposite side of the bed. It was the baby. She was fussing in the small hospital crib.
Miles untangled his hand from Kate's and quietly raised from the chair. He rounded the bed and picked up the little baby girl. "Shhhh." He cooed.
He held on tight to the little child as he walked back and forth on the floor of the hospital room. The baby was still half asleep, but somehow managed to fuss. Tempermental, Miles thought to himself and smiled. He couldn't hide how much he liked this baby. She was so cute and beautiful – even as a complete newborn. He'd spent a lot of time trying to seem like he didn't care, when he really had all along. His plan had been on continuing to pretend after the birth, but standing with the baby now, he wasn't so sure that was gonna be possible for him.
He craddled the baby closer and continued to walk the floor, making soothing sounds to her.
Kate was half awake, when she felt a disturbance around her. Opening her eyes, she imidiately wanted to turn and check on the baby, but before she even got to move her head, she saw Miles.
He was walking back and forth on the floor, craddling the baby in his arms, making cooing noises and whispering to her. His eyes didn't leave the baby's face, even for a second. He didn't see anything that was happening around him.
Kate instantly felt relieved to see that the baby was just fine – that no one had taken her - and then she smiled at the sight before her. He does care, Kate thought to herself. His face was so completely different from what she usually saw. He was smiling and there was a sort of peace in his eyes. She didn't want to disturb this moment and make Miles uncomfortable, so she stayed still and watched them for a little while, even though her heart ached to be close to her daughter.
After a few minutes, Miles turned his head and saw that Kate was awake. Instead of reacting with embarrassment and getting all awkward, he walked towards her, keeping his smile on his lips.
"Your mommy is awake now," He whispered affectionately to the baby and handed her off to Kate.
She took the baby in her arms and immediately leaned down to kiss her again. Miles pulled the chair a few inches closer to the bed and sat down. "She's so cute," He said and lifted a hand up to carress the baby's cheek.
Kate smiled, "Yeah, she's perfect." She took her eyes away from the baby and looked at Miles. "Thank you, for being there for me."
He looked back at her and she expected some sort of sarcastic comment. Instead he surprised her.
"You're welcome." Then he laughed. "Though I'd like to avoid the stress and worry another time."
Kate laughed in agreement. "Yeah."
"Did you think of a name yet? You know, you can choose whatever you like."
Kate's smile faded and her eyes turned sad. "No, I haven't thought much about it. There are so many names." She took a deep breath to stop herself from crying. "Shannon, Ana, Libby, Sun… Juliet."
Miles bit his lip. He'd only known two of these women, but he knew they were all great losses.
"Maybe something entirely different?" He suggested.
"Yeah… Maybe." She looked back down at the baby. Miles' eyes had also returned to her.
They sat still like this for a long time. The baby still slept happily. Miles had popped his elbows up on the bed and rested his chin on his hands, so he could still see the baby. Even though he'd slept, he was beginning to feel the exhaustion. He could only imagine how tired Kate was.
"Isabella." Kate suddenly whispered.
Miles blinked his eyes more than a few times. They had completely dried out. "Isabella?" He asked.
"Yeah. Isabella." Kate said.
"As in, Richards wife, Isabella?"
"Yes," Kate confirmed. "He's so seperate from the rest of us, I think this will make him happy."
"Isabella it is." Miles smiled and once again touched the baby's cheek.
Kate had just finished feeding the baby, when a quiet knock sounded on the door to the room. A few seconds later, it was opened quietly. James and Claire entered the room carefully. Kate looked up at them and pressed a finger to her lips. "Shhhhh." She whispered, then pointed down to the side of her bed. Miles' head rested on his arm on the edge of the mattress. James nearly laughed out loud, but managed to stop himself.
They came closer and Claire instantly brought her hands to her mouth, to cover the 'awe' that burst out. James remained quiet, but leaned in to take a good look at the baby.
"Such a beauty." He stated with a big smile.
"Oh, she's amazing!" Claire's smile could easily break her entire face. "May I?" She asked, not sure what the answer would be. Many new mothers were reluclant to let go of their baby. She remembered that very well from when she had Aaron.
"Of course," Kate lifted the baby up towards Claire and she took the baby in her arms. Claire leaned down and gave the baby a little kiss on the forehead. James looked the baby over once again and nodded to himself. Then he raised a hand to carress the baby's cheek.
"What are you gonna call her?" Claire asked.
"Isabella."
Claire didn't take notice of the name the same way James did. "Isabella." Claire whispered and smiled even wider.
James made eye contact with Kate. "I think, that's a fine name." He nodded once and Kate knew that James knew exactly why she'd picked that name.
Claire handed the baby back to Kate. "Should we bring him home?" She whispered and pointed to Miles.
Kate turned to look at him. "No, just leave him there. He was so stressed, he deserves to sleep."
"Alright. We'll come back later."
Claire and James quietly turned to the door and waved to Kate and the baby. Then they left. They were most likely gonna go home, unpack, take a shower, sleep for a few hours and come back. They would probably also call Cassidy and tell her everything was fine. Cassidy would most likely come to visit, once they were back home from the hospital.
Not long after, a nurse came in to check on them. She took the baby and placed her in the crib. Then she told Kate to get some more rest. Kate chose to listen this time and not argue. Without disturbing Miles, she slid down and got comfortable. Then she closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep.
The next morning, Claire and James returned to the hospital, this time bringing Richard as well. They had just picked him up from the airport. Miles was standing by the window, catching some of the early morning sun, while drinking a cup of coffee. Kate sat on the bed, dressed in her own clothes, rocking the baby. They were waiting to be discharged.
They let Richard approach first. "Hello," He greeted, polite as always.
Then he sat down on the edge of the bed. He looked at the baby and his eyes lit up. He hadn't been around a baby in so long, he couldn't even remember. He didn't dare to ask if he could hold her. As if Kate had read his mind, she handed the baby off to him, with an assuring smile.
Richard took the baby in his arms and smiled widely. "Oh, she's so beautiful."
"Her name is Isabella." Kate told him.
Richard's face changed. His eyes welled up and he turned to look at Kate. "Isabella? Really?" His voice cracked.
Kate reached over and touched his shoulder. "Really." She nodded.
"Oh…" Richard turned his head back to the child. His bottom lip shook. "You didn't have to do that." He whispered.
"No. But I wanted to. I think it's just right for her."
"It really is," Miles commented from across the room.
Kate looked around the room. Everyone she had left in her life was there. To help her. To support her. To be her family. The only person missing was Frank. He'd said he would visit as soon as he could.
She looked back to the baby in Richard's arms and felt like her skin could break with happiness. Tears were forming in her eyes. Even though he wasn't there, she knew that where ever Jack was, he was proud of her.
In the following months after the birth, Miles spent more time with the baby than anyone else in the house. He went with Kate on walks with the baby and he was the first to offer to watch, when Kate wanted to sleep or take a shower. He also found himself waking up at night, worrying about her.
Kate didn't seem to mind that Miles had formed such a strong bond to the baby. He'd expected her to tell him to back off, but she never did. Instead she smiled a lot – at him, and the baby. Miles took that as a sign, that she was completely OK with it.
Kate awoke with a startle. She'd had a nightmare, but she'd forgotten what it was about the second she sat up in bed. She exhaled and ran her hand through her hair to clear her face. Glancing at the clock, she saw that it was almost 10AM. She rised from the bed and walked the short steps to Isabella's crib. Not surprised to see it was empty, she laughed quietly. She knew exactly where the baby was and who she was with. Smiling, she left her bedroom.
Miles had been spending a lot of time with the baby. Kate had been surprised to see that he didn't try to hide his emotions anymore. She loved seeing him with the baby. His whole body language had changed drastically, and so had his face. He seemed like a completely different person and Kate wondered if that person had been there all along, blocked in behind Miles' sarcastic and pissy attitude and the things he'd experienced in his life. She'd found out, over these past months, that Miles, deep down, was a sensitive and loving person, and she didn't hate it.
Entering the living room, she found exactly what she thought she would.
Miles sat on one of the couches, his legs popped up towards his chest. Resting on his legs was, Isabella. A big smile on her little face, showed that Miles was doing something to make her laugh. When Kate stepped closer, she saw that he was tickling her feet. She smiled once again and walked to the couch.
"Good morning," She greeted as she sat down close to Miles and the baby.
"Hey," Miles answered, not looking up from the laughing baby. "She was fussing earlier and Claire said you were up half the night with her."
"Yeah, I was." Kate leaned in and kissed Isabella atop of her head.
"I gave her a bottle, so I wouldn't have to wake you."
"Thank you," Kate smiled.
Leaning on Miles' legs, she looked at her daughter. She didn't feel the need to take her away from him and hold her herself. She had become perfectly content letting other people take care of her too. She knew that the baby was both loved and protected, no matter who she was with in this house. That created a calm within her that she appreciated a lot.
When the baby let out another small laugh, her eyes filled with tears of joy and also a slight sadness. She looked just like Jack when she smiled. The tears had happened a lot ever since the birth and Kate wondered if it would ever really stop. And if she even wanted it to stop.
6 Years Later
Miles swung through the glass door leading out into the enormous back yard, carrying a tray full of plates and plastic cups. He sat it down on the big wodden table on the patio. He shot a glance toward the BBQ grill to see if it was about ready to cook on. The flames had finally settled.
"Daddy, look!"
Miles looked up and saw Isabella run towards him, clutching a gigantic sunflower in her tiny hand. He rounded the table and walked towards her. Isabella was just over 6 years old by now and was starting school later this summer. She was dressed in a wildly decorated floral dress and her long brown hair hung loose down her back. Miles bent down and picked the girl up.
"Where on earth did you find that?" He asked and looked at the flower.
Isabella stuck the flower in his face and pointed to somewhere he couldn't see. "Over there!" She exclaimed excitedly.
Miles gently moved the flower out of his face to look. He looked past Richard and Aaron playing soccer and saw that all the way in the back of the yard, by the fence, there was indeed some sunflowers. "It's lovely," He said. "Why don't you go pick some more?"
He sat her down and she ran off toward the many flowers planted around the yard. "OK, Daddy!" She yelled as she ran.
Miles smiled and turned to go set the table.
It had evolved slowly, but steadily between Kate and him since Isabella was born. They'd grown closer over some time and eventually, it ended in a kiss. Then a shared bedroom. Then a wedding.
They had only been married for a year, but Miles felt like it was much longer than that. He felt like it had been forever already. He'd never expected to fall for someone like Kate, and he had definitely never expected her to fall for someone like him. Miles thought Kate would never be able to love anyone again and Kate had expressed years ago, that she never thought so either. But somehow, they had managed to create a relationship. Miles thought to himself at least once a day, that he was the luckiest guy in the world. He was lucky to get to experience this kind of love and he was lucky to get to be Isabella's father - even though he wasn't her real father. It was corny, but he really considered every day with her and Kate a gift, and he would never do anything to risk what he had. If someone had told him 10 years ago - just before he came to the island - that this was his future, he would have laughed and called them a liar, cause he never really believed he was good enough to deserve any kind of love. Or a family.
Miles was pulled from his thoughts, when a nearly ten year old Aaron yelled. "Yes!"
Miles looked up and saw Aaron raising his hands in the air in victory. Richard was laughing. Aaron had managed to get the ball past Richard and into the soccer net. He heard Richard praise him with a big smile. "Good for you!"
Behind him, James walked through the door, carrying another tray of things. He chuckled. "Did he finally get a goal?"
Miles laughed, then lowered his voice, "How hard can it be to get a ball past a 180 year old?"
James burst out laughing and had to put the tray down before dropping it on the ground.
"Is that thing ready?" James asked when his laughter died down.
"Yeah, in a few minutes." Miles answered and turned when he heard the gate to the back yard open.
Kate and Claire entered the yard. Kate parked a baby carriage in the shadow, and Claire was pushing a stroller where a 3 year old, blonde boy started jumping in his seat, calling out for his dad.
"Daddy! Daddy!" The little boy yelled and reached his arms out into the air.
Miles and James approached the women. James went directly to the stroller and picked up the boy. The boy hugged him as tight as his small arms allowed. James bent down and kissed Claire on the cheek. "Hey," He whispered affectionately and smiled.
It had been obvious since they came back from the island, that James and Claire were growing closer. It had been a long time before they admitted, that they had become a couple. James had taken on Aaron as his own and 3 years ago, Claire had given birth to another healthy baby boy. They named him Charlie. They weren't married yet, but James had secretly told Kate that he was planning on asking Claire soon. They too, had managed to move on and create a life.
They seemed so happy and content together and that pleased Kate to heavens. She was honestly relieved that they had found each other. They both deserved some kind of love. They had lost their loved ones too.
Miles waited until Kate had placed the mosquito net over the carriage, then he leaned in and kissed her on the lips. It was soft and quick. While James and Claire were more private with being affectionate, Miles and Kate were the exact opposite.
"How was your walk?"
"It was good," Kate replied. "Lara went out like a light."
Miles leaned over and looked at the baby girl sleeping in the carriage.
Baby Lara was born just two months earlier, at a home birth. Kate's second birth had gone even faster than the first one, but this time they were both more prepared. Kate had insisted they called her Lara, after Miles' mother, who had passed away while Miles was stuck on the island. Miles hadn't objected to it.
Miles put his arm around Kate and they walked towards the table, where James and Claire had already sat down. They were talking about moving some stuff around, to make more room for Charlie's things.
Kate looked around for Isabella and found her by one of the flower beds, where Richard and Aaron had joined her in picking flowers. She smiled. Aaron and Isabella behaved much like siblings, even though they were only cousins. Richard was considered an uncle and he loved spending time with all the kids. He played soccer with Aaron and took him to school, played with blocks with Charlie, and had fake tea parties and picked flowers with Isabella. Baby Lara couldn't do much yet, but fuss and throw her hands around, so Richard often opted for just giving her a bottle. Kate saw light and pure happiness in his eyes, every single time she saw him with one of the kids. He was definitely a part of their family. She hoped he felt that way too.
Kate sat down on the chair next to Miles. She crossed her legs and Miles' hand almost instantly rested on her knee. A habbit, that none of them really took note of. It was just one of those things.
A cap pulled up outside the house. They could hear it, but not see it. Kate turned her head and called down to Isabella and Aaron.
"Bella! Aaron! Uncle Frank is here!"
The two children looked up from the flower bed and rised quickly. Richard rised as well. Isabella called out for her uncle Frank before she could even see him. Aaron ran right behind her, most likely waiting impatiently to get to tell him about his big goal shortly before.
They ran through the gate and a few seconds later, they could all hear Frank greet the children at the front of the house. A minutes time later, they all came back to the yard.
Frank was also considered a part of their family. The kids called him Uncle Frank and he loved it. He'd visited several times over the years and he always brought the kids something from where ever he'd been. They always listened intently when Frank told them about the places he saw, when flying the big airplanes up in the sky.
"Hey!" Frank greeted as he stepped onto the patio. Everyone raised off their chairs to greet Frank with handshake, hugs and kisses on cheeks.
That warm summer evening, they were all back together. Kate sat on her chair next to Miles, who talked about football with James and Frank. Claire was helping Aaron with the rest of his homework and Isabella had dragged Richard towards the swing that hung in the tree, back at the end of the yard. Lara had fallen back asleep, after having been fed and Charlie sat comfortably on his blanket on the ground with his building blocks.
Kate's mind drifted. Maybe her emotions were just running high today, but she loved when they were all together like this. It didn't happen very often, but when it did, Kate cherised the feeling of togetherness. These people were her family. Some of them still had pieces of their own family left, but the things that had happened to them on the island, had brought them all together in a way no one else would understand. They were family now and they always would be.
Kate had never expected to ever find love again. She had thought it would just be her and Bella for the rest of her days, because her heart had felt so broken, that she never thought anyone could mend it just a little bit. But somehow Miles had. She'd fallen for him and loved him with all her heart, and she knew he felt the same.
She had to fight the tears. They were tears of happiness. They were there because she thought back on the last 6 years of her life. More had happened than she ever thought would have been possible. She had found new love and soul peace with her new family and she would cherish every single minute of it until the day she wasn't here anymore.
"Are you OK?" Miles touched her thigh and pulled her back to present time.
"Yeah," Kate whispered and turned to look him in the eye. "I just love you so much."
The words weren't unfamiliar to Miles. He heard them every day, but this time, he heard everything behind them. As if he was able to read her mind, he knew exactly what thoughts had just gone through her head and why there were small tears in her eyes fighting to get out. He knew.
He leaned in and gave her another kiss. This was deeper and longer.
"I love you too," He whispered. "And our very untraditional family."
Kate smiled and took Miles' hand in hers. Then she turned her head as if nothing had happened and started a conversation with Claire. Miles went back to his football talk.
She loved their untraditional family too. Her life couldn't have turned out better than this.