Chapter 1: Maybe I came on Too Strong
"Hang on a sec, Prongs, I need a smoke," Sirius called after James, stopping to unzip the pocket of his leather jacket.
"I thought you quit a month ago, you bastard?" James shook his head in disbelief.
"Nah, only during working hours, and under normal conditions, but in case of emergency, I'm allowed a smoke," Sirius smirked mildly, cupping his hand over the lighter and inhaling sharply. "And starting a new job counts as an emergency, Prongs, it's in your damned list of stressful life events, is it not?"
"Bastard!" repeated James, looked at the cigarette longingly, then shoved his hands into his pockets, leaning against the railing, his back against the cold wind. He had given up smoking years ago, but he still occasionally had a strong urge to have one.
"D'you know, I don't know a single respiratory physician or neurologist who smokes," James commented after a pause.
Sirius shrugged.
"I get it, I mostly see the dramatic effects of smoking in the ED, the cardiac arrests, all that stuff. That's not going to put me off. They get to deal with the chronically shit problems it causes, way more sobering," he said, exhaling contentedly and smiling at James. "Trying to save me again, Dr. Potter? Your White Knight Syndrome when it comes to me is inexhaustible, you know that?"
He had a teasing look in his clear, grey eyes. His dark hair was tied back in a high man bun, which highlighted his stunningly good-looking face – his defined cheekbones, his arched brows, the distinctive nose.
James shook his head again, grinning good humouredly.
"Fuck off, you prat!" he said, poking Sirius' leg with his foot.
"You know I wouldn't be here but for you, Prongs, don't you?" Sirius' tone had changed marginally, staring straight ahead and sighing deeply.
James looked surprised, he hadn't expected the conversation to take such a turn that morning. But the tense line of Sirius' jaw told him he was correct.
"You know you're a massive pain in the arse, Pads?" James said, taking his hands out of his pockets and turning to lean forwards onto the iron railing. "You were there for me just as much…"
"Yeah," Sirius said. "I was such a great help alright, what with my family causing the collapse of Slytherin Pharmaceuticals, as well as your parents' untimely death, and the whole damned disaster eating up most of your inheritance. Great help… oh yeah, and then to top it all off, my shitty coping strategies landing me in rehab and resulting in us both having to take another year out of med school… I mean, I call that stunningly helpful, Prongs, don't you?"
"Fuck off, Pads. If it wasn't for you, a dangerous drug with no benefits would have been unwittingly released into the market, and thousands of people worldwide could have been badly affected. If it wasn't for you, the people who took part in the Salazar Trial would have been damaged for life!"
James' eyes were blazing. When it came to standing up for his best friend, his adopted brother, he couldn't stop himself.
"It was Reg who saved them, not me!" said Sirius bitterly. "Reg who was brave enough to risk telling me what was going on, blowing the whistle on that damned house of lies, and what did I do? I didn't even manage to save him, Prongs. I failed him!"
James' face had turned a grey colour.
"You don't know…"
"It's been years Prongs, years. He's dead, I know it. I can feel it."
They were both silent then, staring straight ahead, lost in old memories.
"They were proud of you, you know that?" James said finally.
Sirius' head fell, he looked over at James briefly.
"I know," he said, letting out a long sigh. "They were everything to me, James. Them, and you."
"We were lucky to have them, we couldn't have asked for better parents."
"No, we couldn't."
"We best get going," said James, putting his hand on Sirius' shoulder and squeezing it tightly, hoping to convey everything he wanted to say, but couldn't articulate.
"Yeah, wouldn't do to make a bad impression on our first day in St. Godric's, now would it?" said Sirius. His smile was a mixture of gratitude and grief.
He stood on the cigarette butt and straightened up.
"Then again, I don't think it's physically possible for Sirius Black to fail to impress," he continued, winking at James. "There's going to be a lot of people complaining about how hot it is today, the rates of pyrexia in this hospital are going to hit the roof!"
James snorted loudly.
"Oh good grief, Pads, you're a disaster! Just so you know, if anyone asks me who the flirting dickhead with the man bun is, I've never met you in my entire life!" said James laughing.
He was glad to see Sirius turn to humour, his favourite defence mechanism.
"Well I've no idea who you are, you're way too nerdy to be hanging out with someone like me!" retorted Sirius haughtily, looking him up and down and shaking his head with disapproval. "That tie is hideous!"
"Me, a nerd? I've no idea why I put up with you, you tosser!" said James, shoving him in the arm, as they crossed the road and entered the hospital foyer.
"Because I'm irresistible and you love me?" said Sirius batting his long eyelashes at James.
"Hey, James, Sirius! Great to see you at last!" a genuinely happy voice called out to them.
"Wormy!" they both exclaimed together.
…..
"Haven't seen you in bloody ages!" exclaimed James, pulling Peter into a crushing hug. "You've been avoiding us! Swotting for those damned awful membership exams, eh?"
Peter squirmed with embarrassment.
"Yeah, I suppose so."
"Fucking swot!" said Sirius, swatting Peter's arm, which was his way of showing affection. "You won't be able to avoid us now that we'll all be working in the same hospital!"
Peter grinned at them both, his blue eyes shining with excitement.
"I can't wait! Pity I'm stuck in my one bedroom flat till my lease runs out, I'm jealous of you two!"
"Come on, you were always jealous of me!" laughed Sirius teasingly.
Peter and James rolled their eyes in unison.
"Just like old times, eh?" said James, grinning at his two friends.
"I'll drink to that!" replied Peter.
"After work so, a celebratory drink for the Marauders?" said Sirius looking decidedly pleased with himself.
"We're in!" said James, clapping his hands on his friends' shoulders.
"Come on, don't want to be late, induction for all new medical staff starts in a few minutes, and we all need to sign in," said Peter, leading the way down the corridor.
"I fucking hate inductions, they're a complete waste of time! Load of bullshit, ugh!" groaned Sirius. "They're probably going to insist I do a manual handling class or some such shite. Paperwork and inductions, the bane of my life!"
"It'll be over in under 2 hours, relax Pads," said Peter smiling. "As impatient as ever! You haven't changed a bit, have you?"
"Nope!" said Sirius sighing dramatically, as they entered the darkened room, which was milling with other junior doctors.
Having signed in, they shuffled into seats half way up the auditorium, just as a senior physician stood up on the stage.
"Good morning, and welcome to St. Godric's Hospital, my name is Professor Dumbledore, and I am the Executive Clinical Director of Medicine here."
"He's definitely eccentric!" whispered Sirius. "Look at the purple waistcoat, long beard and the hairdo!"
James ignored him.
"I bet he's gay," added Sirius.
"You think everyone's gay," James snorted.
"And so without further ado, I'll hand you over to our next speaker," continued Professor Dumbledore. "who will probably deliver a much more relevant talk than me. She has been working here for a few years now as Senior Registrar in gastroenterology, and next year will be moving to a prestigious research post in the United States, Dr Lily Evans!"
"Fuck!" gasped James, unaware of how loudly he had spoken.
A hush descended on the audience, as a few people giggled, and dozens of faces turned to stare at him. James gulped and cleared his throat, eyes locked with Dr. Evans'.
"Fuck!" Sirius said loudly. "Sorry! I forgot to cancel a date with my boyfriend, and he's going to kill me, frightfully sorry for the interruption!"
A loud thud from the back of the room caused a few people to jump nervously.
"What the?" spluttered James weakly, regarding Sirius with confusion.
"Just helping you out, old boy!" said Sirius shrugging.
Dr Evans pursed her lips together and narrowed her eyes. She looked slightly agitated and her face was flushed. They continued staring at each other wordlessly until eventually she looked away, clearing her throat.
"Good morning, as Prof. Dumbledore said, I'm here to give you a short talk on how to get your research up and running while you are in a clinical post," she started, her voice sounded low and wavered slightly.
"Lily bloody Evans!" James whispered to Sirius.
"I know, what are the chances, eh?" said Sirius, with a slight upturn to his lips.
"Shit!" he said, slumping down in the seat. "I can't believe she's working here. I haven't seen her in years."
"Hmm," agreed Sirius, his eyes twinkling.
"She thinks I'm an arrogant git, she hates me," James added.
"I know," Sirius grinned.
"Ever since first year when we volunteered to be the models for the surface anatomy tutorials, she's been convinced we're vain, sad bastards."
"Eh, Prongs, I was in your class in College, remember? I know exactly what Lily thought of you! Although, take it from me, we were fucking fit, and we literally had most of the class swooning over us," Sirius was teasing him mercilessly.
"You see, when you say that, I can see precisely why she hated us!" said James, running a hand through his unruly hair.
"I seem to recall she had mellowed a bit towards you by fifth year?" Sirius continued, ignoring his friend's interruption.
James groaned. It was true, they had been getting on so well, prior to the collapse of his world. They had become friends, had started hanging around together, it had been perfect, everything he ever wanted. And they were due to meet up in town that day, the day Reg had shown up with his earth-shattering news. He hadn't called her immediately. He had stood her up. And when he did try, desperately tried, then no contact. None. Obviously, she hadn't felt the same way at all. Maybe he had imagined it.
"I was a tosser, ok? I was mad about her for years, I'm sure I came on too strong, and she made it perfectly clear she had no interest in me whatsoever and…"
"And?"
"And nothing."
Sirius raised his right eyebrow.
"God you're annoying!" said James scowling at him.
"And?"
"And I don't think I ever really got over her. Happy now?"
And I don't think I ever will…
Sirius shrugged.
"I knew that already, I just wanted to hear you admit it."
"Bastard!"
"Yeah," smirked Sirius, twirling the pen in his hand absentmindedly.
James had turned around to look at the back of the auditorium and did a quick doubletake.
"Eh, Pads, you might want to prepare yourself," he hissed, looking at Sirius anxiously.
"What?"
"The guy who dropped his satchel earlier on? At the back of the room? It's … well, it's Remus Lupin," he said quietly, searching Sirius' face carefully.
"Fucking hell!" Sirius practically yelled with astonishment.
Lily Evans stopped mid-sentence and stared down at them. The whole room was looking at them now.
"Fuck, yes, sorry, fucking hell!" James interjected, feeling himself flushing uncomfortably. "I just, it's… it's a cramp, in my leg, from… playing rugby… frightfully sorry."
"If the two of you want to go outside to continue fucking, go ahead, otherwise I'd appreciate it if you keep quiet," Dr. Evans said tartly, staring him in the eyes again.
She seemed to struggle to drop eye contact, her vivid green eyes mesmerising.
The room erupted into gleeful laughter.
"Sorry Dr. Evans, won't happen again," said James, wishing the ground could swallow him.
Once the commotion had died down, and lily had finished her talk, James turned to Sirius.
"Remus Lupin, eh?" he whispered.
"Not another word, Prongs. Not. A. Word."
Sirius was looking decidedly jittery, his face a pale white, his jaw twitching.
"Dare I say it, Pads, I don't think you ever got over Lupin either?"
James' voice was amused but kind. Sirius closed his eyes briefly, and then turned to look at James.
"No. I never fucking got over him. Ever."
And I don't think I ever will.
Notes: I've been thinking about this for ages, let me know what you think!