He approached quietly, with an air of reverence he usually didn't allow himself to show. He wasn't the greatest with women, but this one had been the one to give him a chance. So with roses clutched in one trembling hand, and a steaming coffee in the other, Leroy Jethro Gibbs walked to the place where he was meeting his date.
He cleared his throat, "It's been a while. I know this is strong for you," he gestured with the coffee, "but I'm not defiling it. Even for you."
He paused.
"And the roses? Ah, you know me, Katie. You know I'm a marshmallow when it comes to you. Still am. Now I know it's been a while, but I've got a lot of news."
He looked at his silent companion, and grinned. Five months was a long time, especially with the new team members, and McGee's big news. He had paid her a visit just seven days after DiNozzo had left. Gibbs couldn't miss the anniversary after all. He never would have forgiven himself.
"I told you Bishop divorced Jake. She's doing a lot better now. I think. Still working for me, still keeping busy, and still a dedicated investigator. I was all for going and punching his face in with DiNozzo and McGee, but the idea of bein' arrested wasn't appealing. Yeah, I know, I know. I don't need to go about defending women's honor. But God, Kate, you probably would've helped us kick his teeth in! Or given him a long speech."
He chuckled, and shifted the roses. "'M not used to talking this much. You used to fill in the gaps for your boss who happens to be a functional mute. If you're gonna laugh, don't. Ya know it's true."
Ya think?
"I don't need to tell you that DiNozzo is busy himself. Raising a kid is a lotta work… but of course, you wouldn't know," he said uncomfortably, "I'm tellin' ya, Kate. Tali is the cutest little girl. You'd like her. And Tony as a father! You should've had the chance to babysit her. No doubt she's a handful for poor DiNozzo. I can't imagine… well," he laughed, "I hope that no woman would want to do that to me."
Which part, Gibbs?
The part where a woman would have a child that was his and not tell him. He wouldn't have been able to stand that. Having a child with someone, and then her dying and him never knowing… that alone might have seriously injured him. "They're in Paris right now. Remember me sending the two of them to Paris as bodyguards for a witness? Yeah well. That was dumb, huh Kate? Seeing what was between them and sending them anyway… well you know how much I hate my own rules sometimes."
He looked at the photo he'd brought, one that Tony had sent them, of Tali at the Eiffel Tower. "Sometimes, Katie, I worry that rule 12 was what kept him in Washington. Ya know he woulda been there in a heartbeat if he'd let himself. DiNozzo was a good agent, Kate, but he was Ziva's. It wasn't right. None of it was." He shook his head.
"Why am I tellin' ya this? No doubt ya already know. Keeping tabs on your co-workers. Well…. We've got some new people. Alexandra Quinn is… she's good, Kate. You'd like her, I think. She's like you, doesn't take any of my shit." He laughed. "I'd forgotten what that was like. Being questioned on my decisions."
He thought of Alex, getting in his face about sending her to Philly. But of course, he pushed her. It was how they learned. Kate knew that, but somehow he knew he was earning himself a disapproving look.
"Now, 'M not so sure about Agent Nick Torres. He's okay, Kate. I'm chaining him to a desk, and it's driving him crazy. Bet the team forgot that I'm the best prankster. I had the title of Grandest piece of shit at NCIS on lock years ago. Okay, to be fair, Torres is kind of a shit. Him and his dumb ass sitting on a bomb! What is with us and bombs?"
Silence.
"Okay, that wasn't funny…I think Ducky wants to retire. He hasn't said anything to me, but I gotta feeling about it… he's seen too much Katie. All the friends he's cut open. The friends we've buried. Losing Ziva hit him hard. Is it still impossible she could be alive?" The grief was evident in his voice, the anguish barely disguised. "And now… I couldn't imagine losing anyone else. After a while, it just becomes a question of who's gonna be next. I'm sick of thinking that way."
He shifted his weight, before sitting on the ground. It was cold, and a chilly wind blew, bringing tears to his eyes. "It's cold, isn't it? I know Ducky misses you too. We all miss you like hell. Why don't you ever visit us, Kate?"
"Abby is as happy as always, I'm sure ya know. But she still misses you Kate. One day a year, she won't play any music in her lab, and she hugs me tighter than usual on that day. Because of course she had us all figured out. Abby knew all about you and I."
He angrily brushed a hand over his eyes, before saying "McGee proposed to Delilah, you know? He had this perfect proposal planned, wouldn't shut up about it. He didn't seem to get that for all his goddamn talk, he had his light and symmetry right in front of him…." His throat closed with emotion, and he cleared it, "…You'd be so proud of him, Kate. Our probie is growing up. She said yes, of course. Why wouldn't she? She and McGee deserve each other, and together the world."
He stared, and said "We should've had that, Katie. You and I should be the ones to have had the ring, and the ceremony, and the elaborate proposal. I loved you Kate. And look at you. You turned me into one hell of a conversationalist."
Wow.
Like some species of frog, I grow what I need.
I think I'm destined to shoot you.
Wow, I thought I'd die before-
He stood, putting down the roses, "I know how much you loved roses. I already put some on the roof. You've missed so much, Kate. You should be here, going to McGee's wedding, and babysitting Tali. You should be there to talk to Ducky when no one else will, and go for drinks with Quinn. But most of all… I still need you Kate." He set down the coffee, and walked away, taking one last look at the stone that marked where she was.
Caitlin Rose Todd
1976-2005
Semper Fi
"Well if you were anything," he said to himself, "You were pretty damn loyal, and I loved you for it." There. He'd said it. "I'll be back soon, Kate. Try not to miss me too much."
~FIN~