Abnormal relations
By Natta
Summary: Dark story. When Beka enters a relationship with Dylan, it doesn't turn out the way she expected. Response to D. Lerious's challenge on the ssu board.
Disclaimer: Yadda yadda something.
I take a quick glance in the mirror as I walk past it to see if the bruises and cuts on my face are hidden well enough. They're not, the make-up hardly covers anything. I sigh. I guess I'll have to make up some lie about walking into a door or something. I wonder when they are going to start suspecting something.
I asked myself many times why I'm not telling anybody. I know I should, but.I can't. I wouldn't know whom to tell. Trance? Harper? No, I couldn't do that to them. They're so happy here, believing in Dylan, believing in his cause. Tyr? Rommie? That's not even an option. I don't blame them for not suspecting, although I would be very happy if they did. I mean, he is always so nice, so perfect.
Who could ever suspect Captain Terrific of abusing his girlfriend? Who could ever imagine him beating me up while I'm lying in a whimpering heap on the floor? No one would.
So, why don't I just leave him? I contemplate this while looking closer at the hurts that cover my face. I don't know. I suppose if I left him I would never really get away from him. We would still be on the same ship. He would find a way to get me in private and beat me up again. And if I left, it would be the same as if I told Trance and Harper. They would not understand, but feel obliged to follow me. And I would be robbing them of the lives they have come to know and love. I couldn't do that either.
Just think about Harper. He went from being a mudfoot on Earth, running from nietchzeans all the time, to being the engineer of this wonderful ship, helping to restore the commonwealth. How could I take that away from him? I shake my head. The answer is simple. I can't. I have to continue living this nightmare.
And maybe.it's hard to admit but I think I still love Dylan. Despite the beatings, the hard words. He's calling me a bitch, a whore, but somewhere I still love him. Or I love the man he used to be. When we first got together, he was the most loving man I'd ever known. Always taking care of me, making sure I was all right. I remember once when I was sick and he would try to feed me, checking my temperature all the time, asking if I needed anything. I was even hoping he'd propose to me. I actually wanted commitment. And then I got pregnant. Trance told me that it was a problem pregnancy immediately. That I had to be very careful. Dylan almost had me taken off duty, but I managed to bargain myself into quitting in the fifth or sixth month. I wasn't allowed to slipstream, go on away missions, or anything that was physically straining or dangerous. We were so happy about it.
But the dream didn't last for long. I was in my fourth month, my belly was just starting to grow. It was slightly swollen and Dylan couldn't get enough of it. It was just to perfect to be true. I should have known something would happen. And it did. Suddenly, when I wasn't doing anything in particular, I was just walking through the corridors, I went into early labor. I screamed to Andromeda to get Trance, and she came pretty fast. But it was too late, the process was short and I had a miscarriage. Dylan was down on a planet, but he came back at once when he heard. I had been confined to the med bay by Trance, and when I heard he was coming back, I was waiting for him to come there and share the pain with me, but he never did. A few days later I was let out. He still hadn't come to see me, not once. I went to our quarters that night, he was there. He had removed all the things we had got for the baby.
And from that day he was completely changed.
In the beginning, he just slapped me now and then when I did something he didn't like. At first I hit him back, but soon I learned that was not a good idea. I also learned to do exactly as he said. I must admit that I changed too. Beka Valentine never takes orders from anyone. But I did. I did exactly as he said. Whatever he said.
Has he ever raped me? Good question, I can't even answer that one myself. I guess technically no, because I never tried to resist him. But I guess you could call it rape, because I never wanted it and if I had resisted he would just have taken me anyway. But I know better than to resist him.
In the night, I always stay awake until I'm sure he's asleep, lying perfectly still. I don't dare to move or even breathe loud. He would punish me for disturbing his rest. I thank the lord for the precious gift that I don't snore. When I'm asleep I guess I move, that's why I wait for him.
He enters the room, just woken up. I tense, not knowing what mood he is in. He steps up to me and gently places a kiss on my cheek. My body relaxes again. He's not going to hit me. He turns me around to face him and studies the bruises and cuts.
"Walked into a door again?" he asks lowly. I nod quickly.
"Yeah, I did," I say although we both know perfectly well that's not what happened. He releases the grip he has on my shoulders and walks away.
"Good," he mumbles. I quickly move towards the door, catching the opportunity to leave while he's still like this. I give a sigh of relief when I leave the room, heading for command. He never hits me when we're among other people, so there's a whole day before he gets the chance again.
When I get to command, I meet Harper there. He looks at me strangely.
"You hurt yourself *again*," he asks, looking at my wounds. I nod, looking away.
"Just walked into a door," I say quietly. Harper frowns.
"You've walked into an awful lot of doors since.you-know-what happened. What's wrong Beka?" I give a small nervous laugh but it doesn't quite reach my eyes.
"I guess I'm just clumsy. Nothing to worry about," I say, quickly taking my station. I guess he sees that I don't want to talk more about it, but he's worried. After all these years, I can tell that. Soon Dylan enters and I wince, looking away. He pretends as if I don't, walks up to me and kisses me. I kiss him back, not daring to pull away.
"Don't ignore me Valentine," he mumbles quietly before he walks away with that false smile on his face that I have come to hate.
This will be a long day.
****
The shift ends way too soon for my liking. Dylan looks expectantly at me and I reluctantly follow him. He takes my hand in a false love gesture and leads me back to our quarters. When we come in, I see the gleam in his eye that means he's in *that* mood. I wince and back off, he follows.
"I found this after you left," he says and holds up something he had left on the bed. It's Harper's tool belt. Something that wouldn't make anyone angry, but enough to trigger him off.
"He must have left it here by accident," I stutter, backing off but knowing there's no way to escape.
"By accident? Oh and when was he here?" His voice is dangerously calm. He couldn't possibly believe.me and Harper? I better not say anything about it.
"He was here yesterday, telling me about the upgrades he has been making on the Maru." He drops the belt and walks closer to me. I back off until my back hits the wall. There's no escape now.
"Oh and why were you ignoring me on the bridge? Disappointed that I interrupted you and Harper?" I shake my head quickly, tears welling up in my eyes.
"No! Dylan it's not like that at all!" The first slap surprises me and it sends me to the floor. I know better than to try and get up, say anything or fight back, so I just curl up in a ball, preparing myself for what is to come. It doesn't really matter that Harper forgot his tool belt, Dylan would have found an excuse to hit me anyway. He starts kicking me now, in my stomach and on my legs. One kick hits the back of my head. All I can think of is to protect my face. If I'm hurt on my body, clothes will cover it up. On the face it's too obvious. I whimper and sob, feeling the tears running down my face as he gets down on the floor, removing my hands from my face. He hits me hard, adding to the bruises that are already there, splitting my lip so that blood starts to trickle down.
"Have you had enough?" he asks. I nod quickly, trying to hold back the tears. He shakes his head with a wicked gleam in his eyes. "Not nearly," he says. "Don't you dare moving," he says and rises.
"Andromeda engage privacy mode," he says and the AI complies, not seeing me lying there, bruised and bloodied. He walks away from me and when he comes back, he has a metal stick with him.
"Please don't," I whisper, knowing that my words serve no purpose. He starts to hit me with it, and the pain is extreme as it hits me, probably breaking several ribs every time. He swings it to my face.
All I can see is blood. Blood and darkness. And silence.
The End?
By Natta
Summary: Dark story. When Beka enters a relationship with Dylan, it doesn't turn out the way she expected. Response to D. Lerious's challenge on the ssu board.
Disclaimer: Yadda yadda something.
I take a quick glance in the mirror as I walk past it to see if the bruises and cuts on my face are hidden well enough. They're not, the make-up hardly covers anything. I sigh. I guess I'll have to make up some lie about walking into a door or something. I wonder when they are going to start suspecting something.
I asked myself many times why I'm not telling anybody. I know I should, but.I can't. I wouldn't know whom to tell. Trance? Harper? No, I couldn't do that to them. They're so happy here, believing in Dylan, believing in his cause. Tyr? Rommie? That's not even an option. I don't blame them for not suspecting, although I would be very happy if they did. I mean, he is always so nice, so perfect.
Who could ever suspect Captain Terrific of abusing his girlfriend? Who could ever imagine him beating me up while I'm lying in a whimpering heap on the floor? No one would.
So, why don't I just leave him? I contemplate this while looking closer at the hurts that cover my face. I don't know. I suppose if I left him I would never really get away from him. We would still be on the same ship. He would find a way to get me in private and beat me up again. And if I left, it would be the same as if I told Trance and Harper. They would not understand, but feel obliged to follow me. And I would be robbing them of the lives they have come to know and love. I couldn't do that either.
Just think about Harper. He went from being a mudfoot on Earth, running from nietchzeans all the time, to being the engineer of this wonderful ship, helping to restore the commonwealth. How could I take that away from him? I shake my head. The answer is simple. I can't. I have to continue living this nightmare.
And maybe.it's hard to admit but I think I still love Dylan. Despite the beatings, the hard words. He's calling me a bitch, a whore, but somewhere I still love him. Or I love the man he used to be. When we first got together, he was the most loving man I'd ever known. Always taking care of me, making sure I was all right. I remember once when I was sick and he would try to feed me, checking my temperature all the time, asking if I needed anything. I was even hoping he'd propose to me. I actually wanted commitment. And then I got pregnant. Trance told me that it was a problem pregnancy immediately. That I had to be very careful. Dylan almost had me taken off duty, but I managed to bargain myself into quitting in the fifth or sixth month. I wasn't allowed to slipstream, go on away missions, or anything that was physically straining or dangerous. We were so happy about it.
But the dream didn't last for long. I was in my fourth month, my belly was just starting to grow. It was slightly swollen and Dylan couldn't get enough of it. It was just to perfect to be true. I should have known something would happen. And it did. Suddenly, when I wasn't doing anything in particular, I was just walking through the corridors, I went into early labor. I screamed to Andromeda to get Trance, and she came pretty fast. But it was too late, the process was short and I had a miscarriage. Dylan was down on a planet, but he came back at once when he heard. I had been confined to the med bay by Trance, and when I heard he was coming back, I was waiting for him to come there and share the pain with me, but he never did. A few days later I was let out. He still hadn't come to see me, not once. I went to our quarters that night, he was there. He had removed all the things we had got for the baby.
And from that day he was completely changed.
In the beginning, he just slapped me now and then when I did something he didn't like. At first I hit him back, but soon I learned that was not a good idea. I also learned to do exactly as he said. I must admit that I changed too. Beka Valentine never takes orders from anyone. But I did. I did exactly as he said. Whatever he said.
Has he ever raped me? Good question, I can't even answer that one myself. I guess technically no, because I never tried to resist him. But I guess you could call it rape, because I never wanted it and if I had resisted he would just have taken me anyway. But I know better than to resist him.
In the night, I always stay awake until I'm sure he's asleep, lying perfectly still. I don't dare to move or even breathe loud. He would punish me for disturbing his rest. I thank the lord for the precious gift that I don't snore. When I'm asleep I guess I move, that's why I wait for him.
He enters the room, just woken up. I tense, not knowing what mood he is in. He steps up to me and gently places a kiss on my cheek. My body relaxes again. He's not going to hit me. He turns me around to face him and studies the bruises and cuts.
"Walked into a door again?" he asks lowly. I nod quickly.
"Yeah, I did," I say although we both know perfectly well that's not what happened. He releases the grip he has on my shoulders and walks away.
"Good," he mumbles. I quickly move towards the door, catching the opportunity to leave while he's still like this. I give a sigh of relief when I leave the room, heading for command. He never hits me when we're among other people, so there's a whole day before he gets the chance again.
When I get to command, I meet Harper there. He looks at me strangely.
"You hurt yourself *again*," he asks, looking at my wounds. I nod, looking away.
"Just walked into a door," I say quietly. Harper frowns.
"You've walked into an awful lot of doors since.you-know-what happened. What's wrong Beka?" I give a small nervous laugh but it doesn't quite reach my eyes.
"I guess I'm just clumsy. Nothing to worry about," I say, quickly taking my station. I guess he sees that I don't want to talk more about it, but he's worried. After all these years, I can tell that. Soon Dylan enters and I wince, looking away. He pretends as if I don't, walks up to me and kisses me. I kiss him back, not daring to pull away.
"Don't ignore me Valentine," he mumbles quietly before he walks away with that false smile on his face that I have come to hate.
This will be a long day.
****
The shift ends way too soon for my liking. Dylan looks expectantly at me and I reluctantly follow him. He takes my hand in a false love gesture and leads me back to our quarters. When we come in, I see the gleam in his eye that means he's in *that* mood. I wince and back off, he follows.
"I found this after you left," he says and holds up something he had left on the bed. It's Harper's tool belt. Something that wouldn't make anyone angry, but enough to trigger him off.
"He must have left it here by accident," I stutter, backing off but knowing there's no way to escape.
"By accident? Oh and when was he here?" His voice is dangerously calm. He couldn't possibly believe.me and Harper? I better not say anything about it.
"He was here yesterday, telling me about the upgrades he has been making on the Maru." He drops the belt and walks closer to me. I back off until my back hits the wall. There's no escape now.
"Oh and why were you ignoring me on the bridge? Disappointed that I interrupted you and Harper?" I shake my head quickly, tears welling up in my eyes.
"No! Dylan it's not like that at all!" The first slap surprises me and it sends me to the floor. I know better than to try and get up, say anything or fight back, so I just curl up in a ball, preparing myself for what is to come. It doesn't really matter that Harper forgot his tool belt, Dylan would have found an excuse to hit me anyway. He starts kicking me now, in my stomach and on my legs. One kick hits the back of my head. All I can think of is to protect my face. If I'm hurt on my body, clothes will cover it up. On the face it's too obvious. I whimper and sob, feeling the tears running down my face as he gets down on the floor, removing my hands from my face. He hits me hard, adding to the bruises that are already there, splitting my lip so that blood starts to trickle down.
"Have you had enough?" he asks. I nod quickly, trying to hold back the tears. He shakes his head with a wicked gleam in his eyes. "Not nearly," he says. "Don't you dare moving," he says and rises.
"Andromeda engage privacy mode," he says and the AI complies, not seeing me lying there, bruised and bloodied. He walks away from me and when he comes back, he has a metal stick with him.
"Please don't," I whisper, knowing that my words serve no purpose. He starts to hit me with it, and the pain is extreme as it hits me, probably breaking several ribs every time. He swings it to my face.
All I can see is blood. Blood and darkness. And silence.
The End?