I feel like I need to apologise for this in advance, so please remember I love you all.
~Til Death Do Us Part~
Olivia let the silent tears stream down her face as she sat in her hospital bed. The room felt too small. The laughs of the family one bed over felt too loud, too out of place. But there was nothing she could do about it. Nobody had been in to confirm her thoughts yet, but she knew. She knew he hadn't made it. She wasn't sure how she knew, but she did.
Her heart dropped when the door opened. Fin filtered in behind a nurse who was bringing her baby to her. The nurse parked the plastic cot beside her bed and then promptly left the room. It was only a moment later that she saw Chief Dodds enter the room.
She felt like she was suffocating. Even the other family in the semi private room seemed to sense that something was wrong and they fell silent. The tension was unbearable, everyone waiting for the chief to give the news that nobody wanted to hear.
"Mike…" It was all Dodds could manage before he broke down in tears.
Olivia was close behind him, though she tried to contain herself a little, knowing that one of them had to be the strong one. The chief had just lost his son. She had just lost her husband. Noah had lost the only father he had ever known. And her newborn would never know his father.
"I'm so sorry." Olivia whispered as the chief fell onto her bed and wrapped himself around her, melting into her arms as she held him.
She couldn't have told anyone how long they stayed like that, but they didn't part until the chief's phone rang, announcing the arrival of Mike's younger brother. She watched the devastated father leave before she allowed herself to break down completely.
Fin moved to her side and held her against his chest, allowing her to cry for her lost husband. It was only moments later when a small cry from the cot forced them apart.
Fin turned around and scooped the tiny baby boy into his arms before handing him to Olivia.
Olivia couldn't help but stare at her baby. He had her skin tone but everything else was all Mike. If she hadn't given birth to him only two hours before, she would doubt they were related at all.
"I'm gonna go check on Noah." Fin excused himself quietly.
He gave the other family a small nod of appreciation, silently thanking them for their understanding and hushed tones. He took a deep breath as he noticed that some of them were crying too.
Olivia didn't even notice as Fin left the room. She was too lost in the baby boy in her lap. She stroked his dark hair gently, tears still running freely down her cheeks.
"You look so much like your daddy." Olivia told her son. She picked him up, supporting him with one hand under his bottom and the other supporting his head.. "He loved you so much baby. He never would have left you if he could help it. You're gonna know him, I promise. I won't let you forget him."
Olivia kissed her son's head and then brought him to her chest, holding him close. She thought back to just that morning, lying in bed with Mike. His hands had been on her belly, feeling their baby move and kick. They had talked and finally agreed on naming the baby. Mike liked the first name Lucas while Olivia wasn't sure about a middle name yet.
He had been called into work only moments later and she had made him promise to keep safe. He had returned the promise, telling her that nothing could stop him from being there when the baby was born.
When she went into labor two hours later, three weeks early. She had called him to tell him that Lucy was taking her to hospital. He promised to be there and told her he was leaving at that moment.
When she had arrived at the hospital, she had been greeted by the horrifying sight of Mike being wheeled in on a gurney, surrounded by doctors and nurses.
Fin and Carisi had rushed to her side. They had tried to keep her calm, explained that there was a car accident. They didn't know the details, only that Mike was hurt.
The two hadn't left her side while Amanda and Lucy kept Noah entertained. Throughout the entire birth, Fin and Carisi had kept her going, reminding her how much Mike loved her, Noah and their baby.
Mike had been in surgery every since. But he hadn't made it out. He had died on the operating table, he had lost too much blood and sustained too many internal injuries to make it through the surgery.
Now Olivia was alone. She had been told by her squad, Mike's father, brother, even his mother, that she wasn't alone. But in her heart she knew she was. Sure, they all loved Mike, whether as a friend on a relative. But none of them had chosen him as the father to their child, they hadn't vowed to spend the rest of their life together, they hadn't seen the sheer joy on his face when she told him that by some miracle, she was pregnant with their second child at forty seven. None of them had ever lost a spouse. A few of them had been divorced, but even Mike's grandparents were both still alive and well.
When she had married Mike six months ago, she's had no idea that 'Til death do us part' would mean such little time together.
Her eyes fell on her baby once more and she let out a soft sob. She pressed another kiss to his head and took a deep breath, her mind going to Mike once more.
"Your daddy loved you so much, Lucas Michael Dodds."
Again, I'm sorry. I was listening to My Immortal by Evanescence on repeat while writing this. Please let me know what you think 3