Title: To Catch a Fox: a Rooster's Manual
Author: Rachel Elizabeth
Email: ceramicprincess (at) fanfiction (dot) net
Status: One Shot…uh, I think. :)
Genre: Romance/Comedy
Rating: PG-13
Warning: Fox/Rooster repartee and mild love scenes.
Summary: (Megumi/Sanosuke) A roosters guide to snaggin' a pesky fox.
Proviso: If I really owned them why would I be a poor college student?
Author's Comments: Ah, the power of chees—Kenshin. Really, I was never going to write this, but it's hard to stray from Kenshin fandom especially since there seems to be so little of Megumi/Sanosuke which is a crying shame. And yes, before anyone states the farkin' obvious; I do know that this plot is redundant.
Feedback: Please? I will not resort to begging—please?
Dedication: To John, because our story is still sitting in his documents folder and this is just one way to make him feel like a putz. And this dedication is sort of split between two people because a thank-you should also go out to Mel for helping me with the title.

Sagara Sanosuke scanned his surroundings quietly; unable to tear his eyes away from the dojo that he had spent the better part of two years at. He had spent too much time here as it was and jou-chan and his best friend were probably ready to tie the knot. Sanosuke snorted, shuddering briefly at the thought of anyone being tied to one person for that long. If one thing was for certain it was that he was never going to get married. Women tended to be much more trouble than they were worth. Even jou-chan, in her own way, though he loved her, was a hassle for a man to put up with. Sanosuke betted that Kenshin even had to sleep on a certain side of the futon and when they had the greatest sex Kenshin had probably ever had—well, she probably dictated that, too.

Sanosuke briefly wondered if she told Kenshin where to put it, too. Hah! Sanosuke thought, I bet that pisses Kenshin off—

"Staring off into space, rooster? Typical." Sanosuke hated the way Megumi was as quiet as a fox when she walked around the dojo. If she could just stop sneaking up on him as she always did Sanosuke betted he wouldn't dislike her as much as he did.

"I suppose it's better than dreaming of a life I can never have," Sanosuke bit out at her, receiving a smack to his forehead for the cruel comment. "Did I hit a nerve?" Sanosuke looked thoughtful at that statement and then said, "Wait—you don't have any nerves." When Megumi pulled back her hand to hit him again, Sanosuke was ready for it, and grabbed her hand. Carefully, Sanosuke turned over her hand and examined it. "Better luck next time, fox."

Megumi stared at his eyes that were assessing her hand and spat at him, "So let go, rooster. Or is that how you take your women?" Megumi realized instantly that she had gone a little too far with that last comment before Sanosuke snarled at her and threw her to the ground and stalked off. Megumi idly rubbed her wrist where he had squeezed too hard and sighed. Perhaps she needed to take a different route than smacking the rooster to get back at him. Lately, everything she did around Sanosuke seemed to irritate him.

During the night Sanosuke heard noises through the dojo walls and resolved that he was definitely moving rooms in the morning. Ever since Kenshin and Kaoru had started sleeping on the same futon, Sanosuke had gotten less and less sleep. Damn people don't know how to let a drunken bachelor sleep, Sanosuke thought irritably. Thinking that he had had quite enough of the two lovers for one night, he went in search for a quieter room.

In the middle of the night when people were asleep one did not tend to run into a snooping Megumi. "I know that foxes tend to run around at night, but this is ridiculous, Megumi," at hearing his voice, she screamed.

"What are you trying to do? Scare me to an early grave?"

"Now that's a thought. I can see the papers already. 'Prowling fox found dead in neighboring dojo,'" Sanosuke laughed, enjoying her ill-ease immensely.

"Oh, shut up," Megumi muttered, annoyed that she had let Sanosuke under her skin once again. If he started inquiring about—

"So what are you doing snooping around the dojo when Kenshin and Kaoru are doing things that you could only dream of doing with—me?" Sanosuke waggled his eyebrow at Megumi suggestively, pretending to leer at her from under his eyelashes.

"I dropped a medicinal pack when I was here earlier and I was looking for it," Megumi rushed out, trying to make the first thing that came to her mind sound as though it could be truthful. Even if Sanosuke didn't believe every word that she said she couldn't very well tell him what she was really doing.

Sanosuke snorted in disbelief and said simply, "You know what Megumi? Right now, I really don't care what you're doing." With that, he stalked off, intent on finding somewhere to sleep that was not inhabited by lovers or snooping foxes.

That was just what he needed in the middle of the night, witty repartee between a fox and himself. Sanosuke rolled his eyes heavenward.

Megumi watched Sanosuke's silhouette fade into the corners of the dojo and she sighed. She was more relieved than she could have ever imagined she would be after an episode like that. How could she possibly tell Sanosuke that she had actually been looking for his room? She promised herself that she would never again drink sake with dinner with her friends, because, well, she knew better. She always knew better than to drink with her friends when they were always the ones that instigated things between her and her non-existent love life. What right did they have to say that she had no love life?

Didn't she love Ken-san? So, perhaps he had a wife now…the little raccoon girl. Couldn't she still love a man that was, perhaps, in love with someone else? Hadn't she always known that she was in love with someone that she could never have? Wasn't that the point of her being in love? So that she could, inevitably, never really be in any kind of relationship? She was so scared of commitment and any kind of lasting relationship that she purposely went after people that she knew that she could never have. It had been the same when she had been watched after by Aoshi, though she could never rightfully say that she had ever been in love with him. Aoshi was, in short, a man with many dark secrets hiding in his past that he obviously did not want anyone to know about. Albeit, the name Misao did seem to pop up when, in his nightmares, he would call out for her in the middle of the night.

So where exactly did that leave her? In the middle of a room with no one noticing that tears had started falling down her face. Albeit, she would never publicly admit that she cried, nor would she ever admit to crying period—to anyone Crying was for the weak who would readily admit that they had made some mistake or that they had something devastating happen to them. Megumi was too strong a woman to let anyone know that anything devastated her. What could devastate a woman who had no love and whom did not need it? The common answer to that question always seemed the easiest to say to someone and this was mainly due to the fact that her feelings had long ago disappeared from her body. Whatever sorts of emotions she had had at one point had long since died when she had lost her family. There was no need of any kind of emotion in a place like that, where she had lived with men only who understood nothing of a woman's feelings.

The question on her mind now, however, seemed to be how she had allowed her friends to set her up in this sort of situation. She had never before in her life tried anything as blatant as she was about to in Sanosuke's room. However, it would seem that the one night that she had finally resolved enough courage to go through with their bet, Sanosuke had decided to high tail it out of the dojo. Megumi prayed that he was coming back to his room.

Sanosuke bit back a yawn as he angrily walked back into his room; it was typical that his friends wouldn't allow him to sleep with them for one night at Ruffian Row, though he had stayed there for quite a bit before moving in with jou-chan. Sanosuke peeled off his shirt and grabbed at the shoes that were still painfully on his feet. He heard a faint noise from somewhere in the room and Sanosuke stopped and listened more carefully, however, it seemed that the noise had stopped. Trying to go about his normal business, Sanosuke removed his pants and he heard a faint gasp, sounding suspiciously like a woman. Sanosuke wondered briefly if one of the tavern wenches had snuck into his room for a good time and Sanosuke grinned. Far be it for Sanosuke to displease a woman that followed him into his room.

Megumi didn't even know what she was doing anymore; she had come in here in hopes of completing the bet that she and her friends had made, while drunk, Megumi thought bitterly, and instead, she had had an eyeful of Sanosuke. It wasn't even as though she had never seen anyone take off their pants before; she was a doctor, after all, however, the sight of Sanosuke standing there, removing his pants—that had been a definite first for Megumi. She had always fixed Sanosuke and made sure that he had kept on as many clothes as humanly possible, thankfully it had never gotten so bad that she had had to remove any of his clothes on the lower part of his body. Now, however, Sanosuke had completely removed the pants so that he could sleep in the nude and Megumi had found herself blushing and gasping.

Sanosuke thought that he had effectively trapped the little wench when he had removed his pants from his feet, only to find that the girl had still not yet come out from hiding from him. He didn't know what he could possibly do to invite her to his bed without being extremely obvious about it. Perhaps the girl just needed some coaxing, and Gods knew that Sanosuke was good with his words. "It's lonely," Sanosuke mumbled softly, laying down on his back and throwing the blanket haphazardly over himself.

I'll just bet it is, you pervert, Megumi thought belligerently. Megumi stood rock still in the corner that she had placed herself in. She had thought that she could go through with this plan, but there was no way that she was getting into bed with that pervert. Megumi thought quietly of how she was going to escape Sanosuke's room without him noticing that she was even in there. And whom had he been talking to, anyway?

"I spend long days and long nights by myself, what should I do to get female companionship around here? A nice warm body," Sanosuke grinned, thinking that that line absolutely had to work. No woman could ever resist his charm.

Augh, you are such a dirty rooster, I'll give you something alright, a nice cold shower, you pervert! Megumi thought, getting angry that she was thinking about Sanosuke spending nights with other woman. What did it matter? She would never like the pervert that way; after all, he was just a stupid rooster. Thinking that Sanosuke had finally stopped jabbering to himself about a woman, Megumi silently crept to the door, thinking that she could escape.

Sanosuke heard the creaking of the floor that the wench thought that she could hide and he grinned. It was about time; Sanosuke wasn't the arrogant type, he just knew that he had all the right words when it concerned women. Surprisingly, after opening his blanket for the girl, Sanosuke heard his door creak slowly open and he stopped. Now what did the wench think that she was doing? Sanosuke climbed silently out of his bed and grabbed a hand that had reached for the door and threw the wench down onto his bed. He had never raped a woman in his life and he was not about to start now. He kissed her protesting lips, thinking that it made it more fun if the woman finally gave into him. When he heard the girl gasp in her throat Sanosuke grinned; it worked like a charm.

Megumi was sinking. She didn't know what the stupid pervert thought he was doing but she didn't know how he had known that she was in his room. Megumi groaned low in her throat, Sanosuke had started to kiss a soft trail down her neck to a juncture where her shoulder met her neck and Gods forbid—she heard herself purr. She felt, rather than heard Sanosuke laugh in his chest, realizing that she had finally acquiesced. She didn't know why he thought the whole thing was funny, but she had not taken him for someone that would take a woman like he was now and force her to be his.

"You like that, pet?" Sanosuke murmured.

He doesn't know who you are! A voice in Megumi's head screamed out at her. The other, less logical part of her asked herself, who cares? Isn't this what you've always wanted? To know the touch of a man and touch in return? Haven't you always wanted some form of human contact even if he wakes up the next morning and doesn't know who it was? Does it matter? You'll still have it in your memories, in your heart. You'll know the truth of it all . . . that you've always loved this man.

Megumi groaned, loudly, accidentally. Her thoughts were running rampant on her now and she wasn't sure which thought was which and which had come from her logical brain. Sanosuke was very, very good with his hands and with his mouth. He made her forget all the things that she most hated about herself, the reasons why she was even in his room in the first place. "Ow!" Megumi bit out, aware that Sanosuke had taken a chunk of her neck between his teeth and bitten down on her. As if apologizing for the bite, Sanosuke licked it and blew softly on the mark, which sent a shiver of anticipation over Megumi.

"Sorry, pet, just a reminder," Sanosuke said apologetically. He always left a mark on his women. Sanosuke brought his hands down Megumi's light fuku and opened it in the front, wanting to touch her.

When his hands had finally reached beyond all the clothing to touch the girl's stomach he heard her purr low in her throat and she finally spoke, "Sanosuke."

Now where had he heard that voice before? Befuddled, his brain could not put a name with a voice. Instead, he circled her waist as best he could as she cried out his name again. Sanosuke stopped, wasn't it odd for a tavern wench to call him by his first name? Then the name hit him like ice cold water. Megumi!

"Fox, is that you?" Sanosuke asked, not taking his hands out of her fuku, nor removing his head from her shoulder.

Megumi gasped in embarrassment and nodded her head numbly.

"Well. What exactly did you think you were doing in my room?" effortlessly he removed his hands from her waist and got off of her to sit in front of her on his futon. She looked properly kissed and all Sanosuke's thoughts ran to the mouth that he had been sucking but a few minutes ago. That's when he saw it; the red mark that he put on all of his conquests, there, on Megumi's shoulder but instead of bringing out his male pride as it normally would Sanosuke only felt possessiveness deep within his gut. Sanosuke did not know what to think about that.

"I—" Megumi stopped. "What was I doing? What were you doing, mauling me the way that you did! You—pervert!" Megumi spat out at the rooster, annoyed that he thought he could blame this all on her innocent actions. So she had been in his room, so it was late at night, so she had made the bet, it didn't give Sanosuke reason to maul her! She always knew that that rooster was a pervert! The truth of the matter was, however, that Megumi could not face the facts that she had put herself in his room for just this purpose, but far be it for her to actually tell that conceited rooster that. The rooster had a big enough head without her words adding to it.

Sanosuke laughed. "You didn't seem to be complaining too much." And with those damning words, Megumi knew them to be the truth and she closed her eyes a brief moment, to keep the tears that threatened to fall, and snorted indelicately, trying to hide her tears. The problem with this was that Sanosuke was no idiot. He knew without a doubt what Megumi was hiding behind her thick lashes, but he chose not too say anything, thinking that he could only make the situation worse. Before he could stop the words, Sanosuke mumbled, "Megumi, why don't we just forget the whole thing?"

Megumi looked at him, stunned, and furled her lip; it was so like Sanosuke to disregard everything that had happened between them. He did not think of anyone's feelings but his own. Megumi's eyes flashed red briefly before she agreed, "Right, wouldn't want to remember something this awful, now would we?"

Sanosuke sputtered as Megumi dashed out his room, the tears still threatening to fall down her face. She would not let that stupid rooster know how much his words had hurt her. Megumi wondered briefly if her words had even hit a sore spot on Sanosuke's pride, but she doubted it. The rooster had no feelings.

Meanwhile, Sanosuke was still in his room, sitting on his futon, contemplating what could have pissed the fox off so badly that she would say something that was that extreme. It wasn't like Megumi to be purposely vindictive, sure she would say many things that were hurtful, but she did not mean half the things that she did say to anyone and that even included the raccoon girl—jou-chan, who was now happily married. Ah, well, it's the bachelor's life for me. Why was it that every time Sanosuke thought that he was doing something to help out the fox it always turned out to be the opposite of what she actually wanted? Sanosuke thought back to the first minute he had thought that someone was in his room and he smiled. He had heard the purely feminine gasp that had been emitted as he had taken off his pants and he was sure that Megumi, for all her years of doctoring, had never seen anything like him before. Sanosuke chuckled in male pride.

Actually, now that Sanosuke thought back to it, he couldn't ever remember a time when he had had to fully undress for Megumi after one of his brawls at the Ruffian Row. He had always somehow, miraculously, been able to keep all the sewing and repairing above his waist. And if that was actually the case, for Sanosuke couldn't quite remember every time that he had been in a brawl and had had to be stitched up by Megumi, then her gasp definitely had not been one of a doctor-patient atmosphere. That struck Sanosuke as slightly queer, considering Megumi had made it clearly obvious that she had no inclination to have any sort of relationship of that type with him. Well, well, well, we'll have to further our exploration of that, Sanosuke thought.

The next few days, everyone saw very little of Megumi and this was commented on by Yahiko and Kaoru, which struck Kenshin as slightly amusing. Neither of the pair liked Megumi considerably much, but they felt the loss of their friend as almost an insult. Sanosuke, however, had not commented on the turn of the events, knowing why they had not seen Megumi recently, yet not one to explain his exploits in the night.

"Perhaps the fox found a rabbit to chase."

"Perhaps the rooster should go strut somewhere else."

Sanosuke laughed out loud; it was nice to have Megumi back at the dojo, he had missed his sparring partner. "But this rooster has already strutted down a certain path that he likes and will continue to do so."

Megumi coughed, her eyes gone wide, realizing instantly that he was referring to the other night. Kaoru and Kenshin looked on with avid amusement, only aware of the word play, and thankfully not of its deeper meaning. Well, two could play that game. "Some roosters should stick to their own paths."

"Gods, why? Especially if there are certain foxes to entertain?" This comment hit a little too close to home for Megumi and she glared angrily at Sanosuke, but realized that it was futile and she really had nothing to worry about. Kenshin and Kaoru obviously had no idea what they were arguing about and Megumi wanted to keep it that way.

"Some foxes don't like entertainment as a sport."

"Who said anything about a sport?"

Megumi's eyes grew round and she growled low in her throat, grabbing Kaoru's hand, intending to lead her away from the distracting rooster before she spat out under her breath, "Because, that's all a rooster knows—sport."

Sanosuke shrugged behind Megumi who was gripping Kaoru's arm. "That notion should be dissuaded from all foxes heads, then." Megumi said nothing to the bait and walked silently off with Kaoru.

Kenshin turned to look at his friend and asked him, "Are you having problems?" Sanosuke's eyes grew round as he realized that little could pass this man as innuendo. Sanosuke shook his head, but he knew that his friend would not leave it at that. "She is a good person, this unworthy one thinks, she has just had too many hardships. Perhaps it would be nice for her to find someone to lean on once in awhile." And with that, Kenshin muttered a quick goodbye and went to do the laundry.

Sanosuke thought briefly on what Kenshin had said, but he didn't need any encouragement, he had already set his mind to catching the fox and he would. There was no doubt of that.

That afternoon, Sanosuke had found Megumi sitting in the dojo silently reading her medicine books and snuck up behind her, to frighten her. Megumi only raised a hand and Sanosuke chuckled. The damn fox had the hearing of a bird, and he had forgotten, but didn't all foxes have spectacular hearing? Sanosuke groaned; there went half of his plans. "What do you want, rooster?"

Sanosuke didn't say anything, he was too perplexed that he had forgotten about her exceptional hearing and too displeased that he would not be able to frighten Megumi as he had wished. Sanosuke grabbed the hand that was still held up by her face, and walked around her, to situate her between his outstretched legs, Megumi growled; she didn't know what the rooster thought that he was doing but she did not find it the least bit amusing. He took the hand that was holding her hand and used her own hand against her to push her back onto the dojo floor. "What the—"

"Shh," Sanosuke whispered. "I just want to see something." And with that, he had lifted the side of her clothing to peer at her neck and he chuckled. The mark that he had put on her neck was still there and Sanosuke felt an overwhelming pride at the thought that she could not remove that memory as easily as she thought to. The problem with having a soft woman beneath a man, however, was that one tended to have certain thoughts when a lady's soft legs were pressed against the insides of a man's thighs. Sanosuke groaned low in his throat and Megumi returned the groan with one of her own, aware that his arousal affected her in many, many ways.

Sanosuke buried his head as far as he could against Megumi's shoulder, trying to regain what little composure he still had left. He had not meant to do anything more than look at the mark on her neck; that was all. It took an act of Gods to lift his head from her neck and he thought that he had done very well until he saw the expression that was writ plainly on her face. Damn that fox! He had to taste her. Thinking to quickly do it before Megumi realized that he had paused long enough for her to push him away, Sanosuke pressed his lips lightly against Megumi's and was rewarded by the soft moan in the back of her throat that was emitted. Sanosuke suckled her bottom lip between his own two and was edging his leg in a different direction but the befuddled mind of Megumi had not yet comprehended what he had wanted exactly before Sanosuke took one of his hands and gently touched her left leg to show her to push it out, just a little for him.

Megumi willingly moved her leg out and Sanosuke quickly pushed his right leg between her legs and pushed Megumi down to straddle his leg. The most amazing sound he had ever heard before came out of Megumi's mouth and Sanosuke thought that he was surely the luckiest man on the face of the planet. Within minutes of situating his leg between her two legs, Sanosuke realized that Megumi had realized the ultimate pleasure that could be derived from this position and took little time in acting upon it. At first, she only slowly slid herself further down his leg, encouraged by the moan that escaped Sanosuke's lips.

Megumi did not want to stop, Megumi did not want to think about anything other than the sensations that Sanosuke had created within her, Megumi did not want to continue to be the butt of Sanosuke's joke, all these things weighed heavily on her mind, but she did not know how she could stop him. Matters of the heart, it seemed, were best left unsaid with Sagara Sanosuke, the man who did not know how to voice things aloud.

Sanosuke groaned, but it was not due to the extreme pleasure that Megumi was giving, it was because Megumi had suddenly become unresponsive. Figures, Sanosuke thought, grinning. "Fox, don't roosters usually have many chickens to play with?"

Megumi laughed, a pure laugh that had Sanosuke grinning like a mad man at her and realizing that he would like to hear more of that laugh.

Megumi realized that it was okay; everything was going to be okay. Whether the rooster would say anything of that sort to her, she could wait. After all, hadn't they taken the first step to something? Perhaps there were some things that were better left unsaid.

Sanosuke brought Megumi further down onto his leg and grinned like a Cheshire cat when Megumi purred low in her throat. Sanosuke thought briefly that he knew what Megumi had been contemplating; everything was so transparent with the fox, whether she would believe that or not. Sanosuke had always been able to read the fox's thoughts and actions. Sanosuke murmured low in her ear, "Unfortunately for those chickies, this rooster is a one-woman kind of man."

And Megumi thought that it was okay, it was okay that Sanosuke was an unsolved mystery, because that was what made him Sagara Sanosuke. Megumi was content with the thought that this rooster would always be a one-woman kind of man.

And that, Sanosuke laughingly thought, was a rooster's manual to catching a fox.