The Three Stooges
in The Life of Three Teenage Knuckleheads
Chapter 1
"But we were not late for school today Mr. Miller. Class doesn't start for another fifteen minutes," said Larry. Curly, Larry, and Moe were in the principal's office again.
"I know that Mr. Fine! Why are you guys late for school so often?" asked the Principal Miller angrily.
"Well, we've asked ourselves this question too," said Moe. "Half the time, when we get ready for school, Curly keeps putting the wrong clothes on, and I have to make him put the right clothes on."
"Oh he does, eh," said the principal. He was skeptical about Moe's answer.
"Look Principal Miller. We're telling the truth, we swear it," said Moe desperately.
"I don't care why you guys are often show up tardy, but it better stop or else you guys will find yourselves expelled from this school! GO ON AND GO TO CLASS YOU KNUCKLEHEADS!" yelled Principal Miller. He glared furiously at the trio.
"Soitenly," said Curly. Moe slapped him. They left the principal's office and headed for their lockers.
"Well, you've got us into a fine mess this time," said Moe, slapping Curly once they reached their lockers. Their lockers were next to each other.
"What did I do?" demanded Curly.
"You've been putting on the wrong clothes way too often!" yelled Moe.
"It only happens occasionally," said Curly.
"Sure it does," said Moe sympathetically.
"You really believe me," said Curly.
"I believe you." said Moe calmly before slapping Curly. "The next time you do it, I'll gouge your eyes out!"
"What is this talk of gouging people's eyes out," said a soothing female voice. The trio turned around and saw a very pretty girl with blond hair and blue eyes.
"Hi Tori," said Curly.
"Has your brother been slapping you around again?" asked Tori.
"Yes sir he has. He thinks I keep putting the wrong clothes on," said Curly.
"Don't worry baby," said Tori softly as she wrapped her arms around Curly.
"Woo woo woo woo woo," said Curly. Tori smiled flirtatiously at him.
"I love you baby," said Curly in a hyperactive voice.
"I love you too Curly," said Tori softly. She kissed Curly on the cheek.
"Hey," said Moe. Curly around only to get slapped by Moe.
"You've got no time for flirting, we need to get to class," said Moe.
"Don't you tell me what to do!" yelled Curly. Moe poked him in the eyes.
"You see that," said Curly. He showed Moe his fist, which he promptly slapped. Curly's fist swung around and hit its owner.
"Are you okay honey?" asked Tori.
"I'm fine," said Curly. Tori smiled and took his hands in hers.
"Hi Tori. How are you today?" said a beautiful brunette girl. The girl who was with her had dark brown skin and black hair.
"I'm doing fine girls. You?" said Tori.
"We're doing good. Hi guys," said the brunette girl. Both she and the other girl smiled at the trio.
"Hi Amanda. Hi Crystal," said Moe and Larry together.
"How is my favorite trio doing this morning?" asked Crystal.
"Not so well," said Moe. "You see girls, Principal Miller asked us to go to his office. He told us that if we don't stop arriving to the school late, we'll be expelled."
"But you guys weren't late today, I saw you get off the school bus," said Amanda.
"I know that Amanda," said Moe.
"Let me tell you something about Principal Miller," said Amanda.
"Okay, let's hear it," said Larry.
"Quiet porcupine," said Moe. He slapped Larry.
"Guys please," said Amanda. "Principal Miller had a similar problem with being late to class back when he was in high school."
"That was a long time ago. Nyuk nyuk nyuk," interjected Curly. Moe slapped him
"You imbecile, Amanda's trying to explain something about Principal Miller," said Moe.
"Anyway, Principal Miller had a similar problem with being late to class constantly back when he was in high school," explained Amanda. "He regretted it, but he gained a prejudice towards students who have a knack for being late to school. Believe me, he is much stricter than any of the staff at this school, even most of the teachers, about tardies and truancies. He knows that there is a rule saying that a student cannot be expelled due to being late, but he has spent the last thirty years trying to find a loophole around that rule."
"That explains a lot," said Curly.
"Yes it does," said Amanda. "You guys need to make sure that you always arrive at school on time, preferably early."
"I get the point," said Moe.
"Curly, I suggest that you get up earlier in the morning," said Tori.
"Soitenly," said Curly.
"I mean it, or I'll tear you limb from limb," said Moe.
"Why don't you guys take a walk with us," said Tori.
"Sure, I'm always up for a little exercise," said Moe.
"Okay. Come on guys," said Tori. She took Curly's hand and led the group down the hall
"Feel that fresh air guys," said Moe once they reached the courtyard.
"It's nice and warm outside," said Larry.
"Let's sit over here," said Tori, motioning towards a pair of benches. They sat down.
"Let me sit in between you guys," said Amanda.
"Alright," said Moe. He moved over, allowing Amanda to sit in between him and Curly.
"There's nothing like a relaxing morning outside, especially when I get to spend it with you baby," said Tori. She put her arms around Curly.
"I think so too sweetheart," said Curly. Just then, the bell rang
"Hey you guys, we better get to class," said Moe.
"Bye Curly. See you at lunch," said Tori.
"See you later Tori," said Curly. He kissed Tori.
"Come on," said Moe. He grabbed Curly's nose and led him away from the girls and into the building.
They went up the main staircase to the second floor and into a classroom.
"I see that you boys made it here on time today," said the teacher.
"Yes we did Mr. Jackson," said Moe. The trio sat at their desks, which were in the third row and next to each other. The rest of the kids took their seats just before the bell rang.
"Good morning class. Time for the roll call," said Mr. Jackson.
"Valerie?"
"Here," said a blond-haired girl behind Moe.
"Greg?"
"Here," said the guy in front of Larry.
And Mr. Johnson continued calling taking roll. All but one student was present in the classroom.
"Take your history books out," said Mr. Johnson. The class took out their history books.
"Are you sure that's the right book?" asked Moe jokingly.
"Soitenly it is," said Curly. He showed Moe his history book.
"Just checking," said Moe. He then slapped Curly.
"Less chit-chat and slapping Moe," said Mr. Johnson.
"Okay," said Moe.
"Open your books to page three-hundred twenty-nine," said Mr. Johnson.
They class turned their book to page 329. They were reading about the Cold War. The class went smooth for the most part. The class took notes about the United Nations and the USSR.
The day continued for the trio. Nothing out of the ordinary occurred until it was time for the trio to go to PE. They headed down to the gym and into the men's' locker room.
"I wonder what we will be playing today?" asked Curly.
"I have no clue," said Moe.
"If it is that dodgeball game again, I'm quittin'," said Larry.
"You can't quit on us now," said Moe. He slapped Larry. He promptly tripped on Curly's open locker and fell down.
"Sorry Moe, it was an accident," said Curly.
"It's okay, accidents will happen," said Moe sympathetically.
"Oh, so you understand," said Curly.
"I understand," said Moe. He then slapped Curly. Curly did a couple of dog barks and got the rest of his PE uniform on.
Three minutes later, the Stooges left the locker room dressed in their PE uniforms and into the main gym.
"We will be playing basketball today," said the PE teacher. She appeared to be in her thirties. She had copper eyes and brown hair that went down to her shoulder.
"Good. Ms. McDonald isn't going to have us play dodgeball," whispered Larry to the Howard brothers.
"Shut up before she changes her mind," whispered Moe.
"It's time to pick teams. We'll be playing three on three. Pick your teams please," said Ms. McDonald. The trio chose to play together as a team.
"Would you like to play with us?" asked a female voice. The trio turned around and saw three very pretty girls. The first one had black hair, brown eyes, and appeared to be Hispanic. The second girl had dirty-blond hair and green eyes. The third one appeared to be of Japanese descent.
"We'd love to," said Moe enthusiastically. The girls smiled at them.
"Your such a cute boy," said the blond-haired girl to Curly
"Aw shucks," said Curly.
"Hey imbecile, get us a ball," said Moe.
Curly went over to the ball rack and tried to get a ball out to no avail.
"Hmmm! Stubborn eh," said Curly. He tried again, but none of the balls would budge.
"HMMMMMM!" yelled Curly. He tried again to get a ball, but only managed to tip the rack over and all the balls rolled off the rack and onto the floor.
"N'gyahh-ahhh-ahhh!"yelled Curly once he realized that two of the balls had tripped Moe.
"What's the idea?" asked Moe once he reached Curly. He slapped Curly.
"The balls wouldn't budge," said Curly.
"Sure they did," said Moe. He poked Curly in the eyes.
"You see that," said Curly, showing Moe his fist. Moe simply hit him in the head with the ball.
A minute later, they were playing basketball with the girls. The Stooges managed to play a decent game and had even scored more points than the girls. Everything went smoothly until Curly accidentally hit Moe with the ball when he attempted to pass the ball to Larry.
"What do you think I am, a basket?" asked Moe angrily.
"I'm sorry Moe, it was purely an accident," said Curly.
"Why you imbecile," said Moe. He grabbed the ball and threw it at Curly. Curly dodged the ball and it hit Larry in the head.
"Look what you made me do!" yelled Moe. He slapped Curly.
"HMMMMM! You see that," said Curly, showing Moe his fist again. Moe hit Curly's fist, which promptly hit Moe on the head. Moe yelled in pain.
"What's the matter?" asked Curly concernfully.
"Nothing," replied Moe angrily. He poked Curly in the eyes.
"Hey you guys, don't you realize there is a game going on," said Larry.
"Oh the game. Come on you imbecile," said Moe. He dragged Curly back to the basket. The game continued for the rest of the class period. The trio got dressed back into their regular clothes and headed to their next class.
The rest of the day passed without incident. Larry had orchestra as his last class of the day, the only class he had without Moe and Curly. He didn't have to worry about Moe and Curly's antics and could just calmly play his violin.
On the other hand, Moe and Curly's last class was a free period. They spent the class out in the courtyard playing gin with Tori.
"HMMMMMMM! You ginned on me for the third time in a row. Look what you get this time, my whole hand," said Curly. He was frustrated that he lost three hands in row.
"Don't get frustrated with me you nitwit," said Moe. He slapped Curly.
"You see that," said Curly, showing Moe his fist again. Tori grabbed both of Curly's hands and held them in hers. Curly seemed to calm down the instant Tori's hands touched his.
"Thanks," said Curly.
"Don't mention it baby," said Tori flirtatiously.
"Come on guys, we've still got sixteen minutes of class left. Let's try to play a few more rounds," said Moe.
"Okay, but no tricks this time," said Curly.
"Don't worry, I won't," said Moe. He began to shuffle the cards again.
"Cut the cards," said Moe. Tori divided the deck in half and put the second half on top. Moe then dealed the cards.
"HMMMM!" yelled Curly in frustration. He obviously had another bad hand.
He didn't win this hand, but he won the next two.
"I finally got something," said Curly.
"It was about time you did," said Moe. He slapped Curly
"Why you!" shouted Curly. Moe poked him in the eyes. Just then, the bell rang, signaling the end of the school day.
"Come on you imbecile, we need to find Larry and go home," said Moe.
"But, but," said Curly. Moe slapped him.
"Come on," said Moe.
"Woo woo woo," said Curly. Tori had put her arm around Curly.
"Alright, both of you come," said Moe, slapping Curly again.
Moe, Curly, and Tori headed into the building towards the orchestra room. They found Larry inside still practicing.
"Come on porcupine, school's out," said Moe.
"I guess I didn't hear the bell ring," said Larry.
"Come on or we'll miss our bus," said Moe. He poked Larry in the eyes.
"Oh, I can't see, I can't see," said Larry.
"What's the matter," said Curly, Moe, and Tori in unison.
"I've got my eyes closed," said Larry happily. He opened his eyes only to get his eyes poked again by Moe. He put his violin back in its case and gathered his stuff.
"Hurry up or we'll be in more trouble," said Moe.
"Ouch," said Larry. He had accidentally dropped his backpack on his foot.
"What's the matter with this guy," said Moe. He went over and picked up Larry's backpack and proceeded to hit him in the head with it.
"No more accidents you grapehead," said Moe. He then slapped Larry.
"Leave him alone!" yelled Curly.
"You stay out of this," said Moe. He slapped Curly.
"Listen you!" yelled Curly in protest.
"I don't need any arguments from you. Why don't you flirt with Tori until I am finished helping Larry with his stuff," said Moe.
"NO!" yelled Curly, dropping his backpack on Moe's foot.
"Why you!" said Moe. He looked very angry.
"N'gyahh-ahhh-ahhh!" yelled Curly. He ran to the other side of the room.
"I'll murder you!" yelled Moe as he chased Curly across the room. He caught Curly after he tripped on a music stand. He punched Curly in the head, poked his eyes, and slapped him several times.
"I give up! I give up!" yelled Curly in desperation.
"Now get up and let me help Larry!" yelled Moe.
"Let me help you get up," said Tori. She helped Curly up.
"Woo woo woo. Thanks baby," said Curly. Tori kissed him on the lips.
"Nyuk, nyuk nyuk," said Curly. Tori kissed him passionately.
"Woo woo woo woo woo woo," said Curly. He definitely loved Tori's kiss.
"How's that?" asked Tori.
"Really good," said Curly.
By the time Moe reached Larry, he had already gathered all his stuff.
"Come on imbeciles, before our bus leaves," said Moe.
"Bye Curly. See you tomorrow," said Tori softly.
"Bye Tori," said Curly. He kissed Tori goodbye.
The trio managed to make it onto the bus just before it was due to leave.
"Well, we made it on the bus this time," said Moe.
"Yeah, and we don't have to walk home again, nyuk nyuk nyuk," said Curly.
"Remind me to kill you later," said Moe.
"I'll make a note of it," said Curly.
About twenty minutes later, the trio arrived at their house. They spent a quiet evening doing homework and watching TV.
They wondered about what Principal Miller would do the next time he saw them. Would he threaten to expel them, set them up to be expelled, or just intimidate them by staring at them rudely.
Wow, that principal's really got a grudge on the Stooges. The story will continue with Chapter 2 being posted soon.