Hero

by drake220

Souta asks Inuyasha a question that leads to reflections Inuyasha would have rathered stayed in the past. A one shot looking at Sess&Inu's relationship. (yes, this is reposted. Got messed up the first time around) criticisms welcomed

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha. If i did, we'd have more episodes featuring baby inuyahsa.

A/N: at the bottom

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HERO

Souta and Inuyasha sat on the main stairway of Higurashi shrine. The steps were hard and smooth, slightly warm from the fall sun. Inuyasha was waiting for Kagome to come home from a 'girlfriends only' shopping trip to the mall. Souta was waiting with him because, well, wherever Inuyasha was, Souta wanted to be too. Inuyasha's head was lying on the steps, his hair spilled like molten silver behind him. Eyes closed and a peaceful expression on his face, Inuyasha looked deep in a relaxing sleep. Sitting a few steps above him, Souta looked down at the hanyou.

Souta was aware that Inuyasha knew of his hero worship. Mentally, Souta snorted. Of course he knows baka. You practically told him the day he rescued you from the Noh mask.

In moments of reflection, Souta supposed it was only natural. After all, he had no strong male role models. There was only Grandpa and, to be honest, Grandpa was a priest and priesthood was nowhere near as cool as a warrior. Poor grandpa- he didn't stand a chance against Inuyasha in Souta's eight year old mind. Glancing at Inuyasha's sheathed Tetsuiga, Souta squirmed happily. I have the coolest guy ever sitting next to me!!, he thought with big smile. Deciding to take advantage of this rare time alone without Kagome, Souta broke the peaceful silence.

"Hey Inuyasha" Souta said.

"Wha....." came the sleepy reply.

"Do you want to go play soccer with me?" Inuyasha's head raised up and he turned to Souta. Cocking one eyebrow, he gave the child an amused smirk.

"No." He snorted and settled back against the stone steps.

Fighting back disappointment, Souta tried again. "Do you want to play video games?"

The half demon didn't move. He just snorted a negative.

"Do you want to play basketball?"

An annoyed sigh answered him.

"Do you wanna go to the park?"

"No Souta, I don't want to go to the park."

Why doesn't he want to play with me? wondered Souta. Doesn't he like me?

"What do you want to do Inuyasha?" Souta asked.

"Have some peace and quiet." replied Inuyasha.

"oh.......okay then......."

Inuyasha could smell Souta's pain and sense of betrayal. It's not my problem. The kid's got to grow up someday and realize that not everyone's going to drop everything and play with him, he thought to himself.

Silence fell again.

"Can I ask you one question?" Souta timidly asked.

A sigh.

"Sure Souta. One question." Inuyasha answered. He was annoyed but also felt vaguely guilty for hurting the boy's feelings.
"Did you ever have a hero?"

********************************FLASHBACK***************************

"Inuyasha, guess who is coming home tonight?" a small delicate woman asked.

His golden eyes lighting up, a child of no more then six launched himself at his mother.

"Really mother? He's coming home? Tonight?? Really truly honestly?" He latched himself onto the front of her blue silk kimono and peered into her eyes anxiously.

She laughed in affectionate exasperation. "Yes, my overactive Inu, really truly honestly."

The boy screamed in delight and threw himself off his mother. Skidding onto the polished wooden floor, he raced through the doorway, yelling something about having to tell father. Izayoi examined her now ruined kimono, the ten claw marks shredding the precious silk and sighed. There goes another one. I swear, I go through more kimono's when Sesshomaru comes home then any other time.

**a few hours later**

Inuyasha waited anxiously by the front doors of the Great House, having been expressly forbidden by his father to wander into the front yard. Shifting from foot to foot, he waited by the massive, elaborately engraved wooden doors, his head not even reaching the twelve inch handles.

The castle servants passed him by, looking at the sight of the basically stationary child with ill concealed shock. Lord Inuyasha never ever stayed still. Not for anything, not for anyone, including his own father and mother.

Suddenly a dragon scream reverberated in the air and: There He Was. Sitting on his two headed dragon, he was arrogant royalty as it was suppose to be. Sesshomaru, the axle on which Inuyasha's world turned. The next in line for the throne. The unbeatable warrior.

His older brother. Inuyasha struggled not to run out to greet his idol.

Tossing the reins of his dragon to a nearby servant, Sesshomaru strode into the palace. Inuyasha waited for Sesshomaru to notice him standing there but was ignored totally. He didn't even look at me.......Inuyasha thought, terribly confused and feeling hurt.

Inuyasha shook his head. He just didn't see you. There were too many people in the hall. he thought, too young to understand just how keen Sesshomaru's sense of smell was and what being ignored meant.

Slowly the entranceway emptied and Inuyasha began to walk toward the room known simply as The Hall. Passing the enormous embroidered draperies and expensive painted rice walls with not even a thought, Inuyasha's spirits lifted up. Sesshomaru didn't see him but once he did, Inuyasha was sure Sessy-chan would say hello. And that was all he expected. Sesshomaru would say hello and ignore his younger brother for the rest of the visit. But Inuyasha didn't mind. Just being near his full demon brother was enough.

Unnoticed by everyone around him, Inuyasha crept into the room over to the dais where his parents sat, greeting the return of the eldest son along with the court.

The Hall was a huge domed room with numerous glass window murals. The regular walls had painted on them fantastical battle scenes. The room was decorated in the yellow and red colors of the ruling House of the Western Lands. Banners undulated in the breeze, musicians played in unobtrusive alcoves and the side food tables were piled high with delicacies. The Western Court had outdone themselves in their dress. Beautiful kimono's and irreplaceable armor were all worn for this one great occasion. But admist all this splendor, one thing outshone it all: the thrones. Huge monstrosities that still managed to look delicate, the seats of the Great Lord and his Chosen Mate were carved and gilded, decorated with precious gems and rare fabrics. However, not even the temptation of jumping off the thrones could distract Inuyasha tonight. Inuyasha was not allowed to mingle with the court, something he didn't understand. The rest of the children were allowed to go into the crowd. But one did not argue with the Lord of the Western Lands and so, Inuyasha sat on his mother's lap, waiting for Sesshomaru to get to the thrones. Eventually, Sesshomaru appeared, refreshed from his journey, in a new suit of clothes, his hair washed and groomed, his claws sharpened and polished.

"My Lord." At Sesshomaru's voice, the court stopped and fell completely silent, waiting for the ritual to begin. Sesshomaru continued.

"I have returned from the Southern Lands. Lord Ruyu sends his regards to his most esteemed counterpart in the West." Going down on one knee, Sesshomaru bared his neck to his father. A second passed as Toji took a claw and calmly sliced a small cut on the back of Sesshomaru's throat. The cut healed almost instantly.

"Rise, my son. It is good to have the Prince Heir in the palace once again." Toji replied.

With that, the welcome home feast began.

Inuyasha bounced up and down, almost trembling in his excitement to speak to Sesshomaru. There! Sesshomaru was up! Sesshomaru! Sesshomaru! Sesshomaru! Sesshomaru! he thought giddily. Leaning forward to speak, Inuyasha opened his mouth. And then slowly closed it as Sesshomaru turned and walked away.

"Where is Sessy-chan going?" he asked his mother in a small voice. Turning to look at his father, he saw Lord Toji clenching his fists. He repeated the question to his father. He got no response from either. Well, if they won't tell me, I'll ask him myself. Determined, he jumped off Izayoi's lap. Unfortunately, his father caught him mid-air. With an odd look in his eyes, Toji shook his head at his younger son.

"Why don't you go to bed Inuyasha?" he asked softly, pity in his voice.

"I wanna go talk to Sesshomaru." the boy answered, sulkily folding his arms. Toji put his younger son down and patted him on the rump, directing him toward the door.

"Go to bed Inuyasha. That's an order from father."

"Feh." Inuyasha kicked the ground at his feet but started walking. Turning at the door's edge, he shot his parents one last pleading glance, using his best puppy dog expression. His mother waved her hand. The message was clear: Don't you try that garbage on me young man. You listen to your father and get to bed.

Slowly, pouting all the way, Inuyasha went.

** Later that night**

"You could have at least said something to him!"

"What, and make it think that I care?" The shouts echoed in the hall of the palace, ricocheting with the force of lightening and twice as damaging.

Lord Toji was enraged. Never before had his son been so insolent. In front of the court, to snub his father's mate and his half brother was beyond anything Sesshomaru had ever done before.

"Him Sesshomaru. And, yes, let him think you care! It wouldn't kill you!"

"I can't do that." Sesshomaru answered softly with an edge to his voice.

"Why?" Toji wanted to understand. How could any being not love Inuyasha? "He's an adorable little boy, precocious, intelligent-".

"Because he's disgusting!" Sesshomaru answered in furious disbelieve. "You debased yourself by taking that woman as a lover, let alone as a mate! And then you have a child with her! A child, a half breed!" Sesshomaru's usually quiet voice grew louder and louder. Shaking with self righteous anger, Sesshomaru slammed his hands down on the desk. "You've destroyed our family's honor! And you ask me to coddle this ultimate humiliation?" He drew in a ragged breath. "Father, what's wrong with you? You've become a stranger. A weak stranger......" he ended softly, almost to himself.

Toji glared at his son. "Yes, you're right. He is a child, he is my son, and yes! He is a half- breed!"

Ennunciating every word, Lord Toji continued, unaware of little ears in the doorway. "He. Is. Your. Brother. Sesshomaru. Couldn't you spare him a minute of your time? That's all he needs. That's all he asks for. Don't you know how he worships you? He copies the way you walk, the way you carry yourself, the manner you ride your dragon. Kami help us, he even imitates the god awful way you treat the servants. Did you know he throws stones at toad demons? Just because he once saw you throw a stone at that Jaken of yours. Remember that old shirt of yours that you threw in his direction once and told him he could have it? To you and I, that insult was apparent. But to him, it was a gift from the heavens. He refused to take that dirty torn shirt off for two weeks! Sesshomaru, don't you understand?" Toji was pleading with his eldest born, his voice begged for a little compassion for the sake of a small lonely boy. "When he plays pretend, he doesn't want to be me, a samurai, an emperor- he wants to be you. He loves you. Why won't you love him? Just a little.."

The silence screamed as Lord Toji waited for an answer.

Sesshomaru locked eyes with his father.

"What makes you think that I care about what some half breed thinks? Or wants? And it may be your son. But I refuse to accept that, that thing as kin to me." Sesshomaru hissed. "If it keeled over dead tomorrow, I would dance on its grave. And furthermore-" his voice trailed off.

His father was no longer looking at him. Instead, Lord Toji was staring at the doorway to his office in horror and sadness. Sesshomaru turned, already knowing what he'd see.

There stood Inuyasha. Dwarfed by the immense hall, he looked even smaller then usual. His hair was rumpled from sleep, flopping over one of his ears and stuck up at odd angles. In his little nightclothes of a red soft child's one piece with footsies attached, he just looked at Sesshomaru with big golden eyes. Eyes that were questioning and disbelieving. One tear was sliding down his cheek and more were promising to come. His lips were trembling. The boy slowly shook his head.

"That's not true" he said, the words coming out choked and soft. Licking his lips, Inuyasha took a small step forward. "You do so love me."

Sesshomaru grimaced at the thought. "No, I don't. It's about time you learned that."

His face began to fall slowly, and Inuyasha shook his head again, more forcefully. "You're Sesshomaru. And Sesshomaru-sama loves me."

Glaring at his younger brother, Sesshomaru shook his head. "I never loved you. I never will. I don't even like you." he said in his cold dispassionate voice.

Glaring now through angry hurt tears, Inuyasha stamped his foot. "Yes you do! You do love me! And I am your kin! And, and, and you DO like me!" The tears poured down but Inuyasha didn't notice. He stamped his foot on the ground harder and spoke through the choking feeling in his throat. "You like me! And you like mother! And you wouldn't dance when I died! You wouldn't!......because you love me.....you do...you have to....." Inuyasha broke down into soft sobs, unable to continue.

Sesshomaru got up and strode to the door. For a moment Toji hoped that Inuyasha's heartfelt cries would reach his eldest son. But that hope was dashed as Sesshomaru hauled Inuyasha up by the throat. Pulling Inuyasha's face close to his, Sesshomaru whispered harshly, "Yes I would dance. And no one can love a mongrel half breed such as yourself." He threw Inuyasha to the ground, disgusted by the scene being made.

Pulling himself off a floor he could not see through his tears, Inuyasha knelt on his hands and knees and sobbed, crushed and heartbroken. Sesshomaru watched, wanting to leave but unable to without his father's permission.

Toji waited for Inuyasha to calm down. If he was going to wait, well then, so was Sesshomaru. He was not going to let Sesshomaru get away from the sight of the child whose entire existence he had shattered so quickly. There would be dire repercussions for this brutality.. But for now, Toji would wait for the son who needed him more.

After a minute or so, Inuyasha stood up, the aftereffects of his sobs still rattling his small body. Sniffling, he lifted his face clear from the veil of his bangs and whispered something. Dog demon hearing what it was, both the lord and the heir heard.

Toji winced. This shouldn't be happening........

The half demon boy glared at Sesshomaru, his golden eyes blazing and said the words louder.

"I hate you."

His entire being was focused on those words, and the truth behind them was unmistakable.

"I hate you Sesshomaru. I hate you."

Inuyasha and Sesshomaru stared at each other. Almost imperceptibly, Sesshomaru smiled.

"And that is how it should be mutt. It was about time you grew up."

Sesshomaru turned on his heel and nonchalantly walked off. Permission be damned. He had better things to do then listen to the half breed wail.

Toji shook his head in bewilderment. When had Sesshomaru gotten so cruel, so cold?

"It wasn't suppose to be like this....." the Lord of the western lands whispered. The distraught Lord walked into his own rooms, expecting Inuyasha to follow so that his loving parents could comfort him. But Inuyasha would never again seek comfort from his father or his mother. That night was the end of his dependency on others.

Alone in the hallway, Inuyasha watched Sesshomaru's back recede into the blackness of the night. Already the changes in him were evident. His demeanor and posture was more wary and suspicious. His voice would reveal itself to be harsh and rough. But above all, it was his eyes that changed the most. The golden color was colder, less child-like. The pain in them would resonate there for the rest of Inuyasha's lifetime.

Inuyasha watched his brother leave

and realized that he never had a brother to begin with.

***************PRESENT**************

"Umm, Inuyasha?" A voice broke in on his reverie.

Inuyasha looked at Souta. He thought for a moment and got up.

"Come on runt. Let's play that soccer thing."

Souta's eyes lit up. "Really?"

"Really truly honestly" Inuyasha replied, with a mocking smirk directed only at himself.

Souta cheered and ran to gather up his gear. Coming back into the yard, a thought occurred to him.

"Hey Iuyasha?"

"Hmm...?"

"You never answered. You just spaced out for a minute. Did you ever have a hero?"

"Yeah" Inuyasha replied softly.

"Well, where is he now?" Souta asked curiously.

"I don't care." Inuyasha said, his voice getting annoyed.

"You sure don't sound like he was your hero." Souta said, ignoring the warning signs.

"Oh he was my hero. I can remember everything about him. When he would come home, it was like the sun had come back into my life. I worshipped the ground he walked on. I followed him everywhere..."

"So what happened?"

There was silence for a minute or two.

Inuyasha sighed and softly said the only answer he could give:

"I grew up."

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A/N: okay, hoped you liked it. Gotta say, I really like this story. Don't know if in execution it was as good as it was in theory but i still like the way it turned out. However, I would LOVE if people would give detailed criticisms so that I can rewrite this into the best possible one shot it could be. Why? Because I love this one shot and I want people to be as affected as I was when I thought of a tiny Inuyasha in a little red sleeper with footsies (anyone who has ever seen a child of about zero-two knows what those are) looking up at Sesshomaru with those big eyes and crying as Sesshomaru callously dismisses him and his love. I want criticisms- not flames, those are not constructive! Let me know what you think could be improved and how. And if you liked the story, let me know. It would boost my ego. (i just watched myself dance on video. I rather desperately need ego boosting)

oh, BTB, anyone who reads my Queer Eye Inu fic, I'm sorry about not updating for so long! This idea sort of stole my muse and only recently relinquished it back to that fic. So I'm gonna try to get another chapter up ASAP but be patient! I'll make it worth the wait (I hope!)