You know the drill. Do I really have to say that I don't own any X-Men Evolution characters or GI Joe characters? Do I? Okay, fine! I don't! Are you happy now? Well here's a mad one shot fic that entered my deranged little mind as I was dreaming about going to someplace warm during this winter season. The way the temperature has been in New England lately Alaska is looking pretty good right about now!
You're All Wet
"All right X-Men," Scott blew his whistle. "Time for rescue training." Several X-Men under the watchful eye of Logan were going to practice outdoors.
"I hate rescue training," Tabitha groaned as they went outside.
"I like it," Thornn said. "Especially when we go outside."
"Well aren't you little Miss Enthusiastic," Paige grumbled.
"Hey we Morlocks are made of hearty stuff," Thornn said proudly. "So what are we doing today Cyke? Whatever it is, I'm ready!"
"Good," Scott nodded as he pointed at the pool. "Today is water rescue training."
"What?" Thornn gulped as she looked at the pool.
"Okay first wave the rescuers are Husk, Cannonball, Bedlam, Jubilee, and Thornn," Scott barked out orders. "You are to rescue Rogue, Boom Boom, Amara, Iceman and Nightcrawler!"
"Uh can we talk about this?" Thornn gulped as the others prepared.
"GO!" Scott blew his whistle. Immediately the others went into the water.
Thornn paced on the side of the pool. "Where are those freaking life preservers when you need them?" She muttered.
"Come on Thornn get the lead out!" Scott shouted.
"Yeah I thought you Morlocks were all that," Bobby shouted.
"Why don't you drown yourself Ice Cube?" Thornn growled.
"Come on Thornn hurry up and rescue me!" Kurt shouted impatiently.
"You don't need rescuing," Thornn snapped. "You look just fine!"
By now Jubilee had 'rescued' her victim. "Hey come on Thornn and dive right in!" Bobby shoved her into the pool.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGH!" Thornn screamed as she floundered around. "HELP ME! I CAN'T SWIM!"
"What?" Scott gasped.
"Way to go Popsicle," Logan growled.
"Oops," Iceman gulped.
"I got her!" Kurt dove towards her.
"HELP! HELP!" Thornn splashed wildly.
"Who's rescuing who here?" Kurt grumbled. "Thornn! Stop grabbing onto my neck! (Glub)!" Thornn was grappling onto Kurt wildly, nearly drowning him as well. Fortunately Kurt teleported out of the water with her on him. "THORN…(Gasp!) We're out! STOP CHOKING ME!"
"No Water!" Thornn backed away violently, shaking. "No water! Water bad! Water very, very bad!"
"Oh brother," Logan held his head in his hand. "Okay Cyke in future reference make sure that the recruits can swim before you start water training!"
Jean ran up to Thornn and put a blanket around her. "Are you okay?"
"I NEARLY DIED OUT THERE! OF COURSE I'M NOT OKAY!" Thornn shouted at her.
"You're afraid of the water?" Kurt asked.
"HELLO!" Thornn snapped. "I'M A CAT! Well part cat…OF COURSE I'M SCARED OF THE WATER!"
"You mean you can't swim at all?" Jean asked.
"Well duh!" Thornn glared at her. "I lived in the projects where there were no city pools! And do you really think the Morlocks have any swimming facilities underground?"
"Okay so we gotta teach her how to swim," Remy shrugged. "No problem."
"NO WAY!" Thornn shouted. "YOU ARE NOT GETTING ME BACK IN THERE! FORGET IT! I DON'T WANNA GO YOU CAN'T MAKE ME!" She was about to run off but Remy grabbed her.
"Now don't be such a scaredy cat… YEOW!" Remy screamed as Thornn started to fight him in panic.
"NO! NO! DON'T SEND ME BACK IN THERE! YOU CAN'T MAKE ME!" Thornn screamed. She wrapped her tail around Remy's neck, involuntarily choking him.
"Something tells me she doesn't wanna learn how to swim," Jesse remarked as Thornn was beating the daylights out of Remy.
"HELP ME!" Remy shouted trying to get away. "GET THIS CRAZY CAT OFF ME!"
"GET ME OUT OF HERE!" Thornn finally disentangled herself and ran for the hills.
"Thornn! Come back here!" Jubilee shouted. Several of the new recruits chased after Thornn.
Rogue looked down at Remy. "Way to go swamp rat," Rogue sighed as she helped him up. "Come on, I'd better take you to the infirmary."
"Well I've always said we learn something new about our team mates every time we train," Scott gulped. "Today we learned that Thornn has a slight water phobia."
"YEOW! THORNN I SAID I WAS SORRY!" Bobby shouted. "DON'T BITE ME!"
"A slight phobia?" Jean folded her arms and glared at Scott.
"This is gonna be tougher than I thought," Logan sighed. "I think we'd better call in the experts."
************************************************************************
"Okay everybody let's get wet!" Althea called out.
"Let's not and say we did," Thornn grumbled. She was clinging to a tree near the pool for dear life. The Misfits had arrived and Althea was in the pool.
"Oh come on Thornn," Althea told her. "Swimming is fun!"
"Easy for you to say!" Thornn grumbled. "You have gills!"
"Well I don't and I love to swim!" Todd grinned.
"Yet strangely enough showers used to repel him faster than garlic on a vampire," Wanda quipped.
"You know perfectly well that I have a gland condition," Todd glared at her. "I need special medicated soap to combat it."
"You're still an amphibian," Thornn grumbled. "I'm a feral! Cats just don't like water! Nope! Nope! Not gonna go in!"
"Well that's not entirely true," Sam said. "I read somewhere tigers like to swim and they're cats. Well big cats but still…"
"Why are you so scared of the water Thornn?" Jubilee asked. "I mean it's not just the whole cat thing is it?"
"Oh I dunno, maybe because every time I get near water I nearly die!" Thornn shouted.
"Thornn," Xavier was watching by the pool. "I don't have to read your mind to sense that you have had some traumatic incidences with water. But you have to learn to swim. You can't just give up."
"Oh yes I can," Thornn said quickly. "I'll just never go near water again!"
"What about showers?" Paige pointed out.
"That's different! The water is in little spritzes! I can handle that," Thornn said.
"Thornn you know how we're teaching Barney to swim?" Althea said. "Remember he's got a bird mutation. You don't want to be outdone by a baby bird now do you?"
"See we got you a nice large life preserver," Lance held it up. "And some floaties for your arms and wrists. Come on down and try them on. Come on kitty, kitty…"
"You sound like you're talking to your girlfriend," Thornn grumbled as she reluctantly let go. "Fine! I'll try the stupid things."
She put them on. "Now you have to get into the pool," Pietro said.
"Do I have to?" Thornn winced.
"It's the shallow end!" Pietro snapped. "What can happen?"
"Okay…" Thornn tentatively put her feet in. She got up to her waist and allowed herself to float in the water.
And promptly sank like a stone.
"HELP ME!" She gasped as she floundered around.
"Here I go again…" Kurt groaned as he dove after her. "THORNN QUIT SCRATCHING ME! YOU CAN JUST STAND UP YOU KNOW?"
"You mean you can't even swim with a life preserver on?" Todd's jaw dropped.
"Maybe you should give up," Pietro remarked.
"Makes sense," Xavier moaned as he downed some aspirin. "Although why I never do is beyond even me sometimes!"