This is going to be my dream story. There will be SHAMY and LENNY. It's set this season and with things as they currently stand. I own nothing
Penny stared at the mirror and sighed. Her blood shot eyes were a sure giveaway to the extreme amount of alcohol she had ingested last night. Her usually glossy hair fell to her shoulders with a lackluster dullness that belied the truth of her condition. She was an alcoholic. It was time she admitted it to herself. Surely, her friends and loved ones had noticed how she resorted to liquor when things got hard. Lately, she couldn't go an hour without the bittersweet taste of her vice. Her morning ritual consisted of coffee with a dash of bailey's rum. She would have at least 5 more drinks before lunch. If she was honest with herself, she didn't need food as much as she used to. Her appetite was gone and in its place was a thirst she could not satisfy. She yearned for the drink every second of every day and usually she succumbed to the desire. Her life was a cycle of abuse and gluttony and she knew it was time to change.
Picking up her phone, she called her father.
"Dad, I need to go to rehab." She cried.
"I'm an alcoholic."
"Sheldon, can I be honest and upfront with you?" Amy asked, over their date night cuisine.
They were enjoying a meal of spaghetti with little pieces of hot dog cut up in it at her apartment.
"Well, of course, Amy. I'd prefer it. You probably don't know this, but I don't pick up on hints very well." He responded, laying his napkin on his lap.
"You don't say." She replied sarcastically.
"Well, anyway, Sheldon, I wanted to discuss with you the status of our relationship."
Sheldon rolls his eyes.
"My God, woman. You bring this up weekly. I've told you countless times that the idea of coitus repulses me. I find it unsanitary and to put it bluntly- icky."
Amy sighs. "Yes, Sheldon, I know. I wasn't proposing we engage in coitus. Not in the traditional sense."
"What were you proposing?" he asked, seemingly intrigued.
"Well, I'd like to engage in cybersex." She squeaked, quickly taking a large gulp of strawberry quick.
"Cyber? That sounds rather sanitary. How does that work?"
"Er, well, we would each be at our own computers and we would type out a hypothetical scene where the characters involved are us."
"And there's no touching involved?" he asked.
"None."
"And no exchange of bodily fluid?: he asked.
"None."
"And the conversation would be of a sexual nature?"
"Yes."
Sheldon is quiet for a moment. Amy wipes away sweat cascading from her brow and takes a deep breath.
"That would be fine. We should schedule this cyber coitus as soon as possible." He finally replied.
Amy's hastily starts picking up their dishes.
"Let me get you home and then we can do this tonight." She responded happily.
There was a bitterness in leaving. Penny felt like her friends had betrayed her by not being honest. They saw her behavior and heard the obvious cries for help but were so busy living their dorky lives, they couldn't speak up to save her life. Maybe if she was sober, she wouldn't be with Leonard. Maybe if she were sober, she wouldn't be friends with the clingy Amy. Would she have given away all her cool friends for these unusual people? She obviously didn't fit in. Maybe she was just around for decoration. If she were truly happy, would she need the drink that had claimed her every waking moment? She started towards Leonard's door to tell him about her journey. Her dad was downstairs with her suitcases in his car. She raised her hand to knock, but pulled it away just as quickly. How could he claim to love her and watch her destroy herself? She loved him, but was he worth her destruction? She started the slow walk down the three flights of stairs and contemplated if she would ever return.
As Amy drove off, she saw Penny get into a car with an older male. Amy picked up her phone to call her bestie. When she opened her messages, she saw a text from Sheldon.
Currently googling cybersex techniques
Excited, she forgot about Penny and sped home.
Please be nice. Let me know what you guys think!