Chapter #1
Disclaimer: All things Harry Potter belong to Rowling. No copyright infringement is intended. I do own all new characters.
Spoilers: HP SS, HP COS, HP POA, HP GOF, HP OOTP
Categories: Angst, Action/Adventure, Romance
Author: Aggiefan23
Chapter Number: #1
Chapter Name: Depression
Rating: PG-13 (Mild Language)
{Privet Drive}
Two weeks had passed by since the day that Harry stepped off the Hogwarts Express and nothing had changed. This aunt and his uncle now didn't talk to him at all and they didn't even cook for him any more. Dudley had grown more muscular over the school year due to another year training with the boxing team. Yet, Harry was still doing what he had done for the past two weeks; he was sitting morosely in his room hearing the words in his head over and over again.
"The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches..."
He, Harry Potter was the one chosen to vanquish the Dark Lord. Even though Harry finally knew the truth it still angered him greatly, he was angry at everybody, Voldemort for killing Cedric and his parents, Bellatrix for killing Sirius, Ron for being a prat, Hermione for saying he likes to play the hero, and Dumbledore for keeping the prophesy from him, something he should have known long ago, something a fifteen year old boy shouldn't have to deal with, why always Harry Potter.
Even though the prophesy weighted heavy on his mind he was still mourning the loss of Sirius, even before he came back to Privet Drive he vowed to never step foot in to Grimuwald Place again, because there were just to many memories for him to deal with. He was to blame for his death, it was his fault Sirius fell through the veil, and it all came back to one thing, the prophesy, his destiny.
The thought that his destiny was preset scared him to death, if the prophesy was true, which he thought is was then his life was already planned out for him and he couldn't stand the thought that his decisions and actions wouldn't matter in the end because his future was already set, and he was pissed off about it, no matter what he did he would face the Dark Lord and become a murder, or become murdered. He thought he would probably be the latter.
"How can I battle Voldemort, Dumbledore in the ministry last year was like nothing I have ever seen. How am I supposed to do that…? I can't even apperate yet, let alone battle the way Dumbledore did." He thought to himself as he sat in his room.
His thoughts, however, were interrupted by the shill voice of his aunt calling him from down stairs.
"Harry, get down here now!"
Harry got up from his bed and made his way down stairs, as he passed by the window he saw Mrs. Figg walking down the street her eyes watching him. He didn't even acknowledge her; he just looked her straight in the eye with a look that told her to back off. When she continued on her walk he made his way down stairs and met his aunt in the kitchen.
"Eat, now you look like you haven't eaten in weeks and I won't have those people over here thinking that I starve you." She said looking at him. When he sat down she continued. "I got a letter from your headmaster at school today."
"What did that old man want?" asked Harry in sarcastic tone because he wasn't happy that Dumbledore was now resorting to contacting his muggle relatives to get in contact with him.
"Harry, he told me what happen this year." She was looking right at him with concern in her eyes for what seemed like the first time. After Harry didn't answer she continued. "You haven't been your self lately and you need to start eating again. I know what you are going through, I too have lost people."
"You have no idea what I am going through." Harry hissed. "You have no idea."
"It will be alright Harry."
Harry now on the verge of tears got up from the table and made his way to the kitchen door when he got there he turned around and faced his aunt. "I don't want your pity." And with that he left the room and went upstairs.
When he got up stairs the feelings of sadness was subsiding and feelings of guilt were creeping up upon him again as he made his way over to the window in his room to look out. He opened it to let the fresh air engulf him as he closed his eyes and thought about Sirius, his godfather. After what seem hours he finally made his way to bed and settled into another restless nights sleep.
Harry awoke to the sound of a bird chirping outside; for he left the window open all night. When he put on his glasses he saw that Hedwig had returned from her nights hunt, but she was also bearing another letter, this one from Remus. He sighed has he thought about his last link to his parents, he took the letter and cast it aside with the pile of other unopened letters.
The letters had piled up on his desk for some time now and he wasn't about to open them. There were seven from Ron and Hermione, three from Ginny, and two from Remus. He hadn't replied to any of the letters, in fact the only letters that he wrote were to the Order in general, not addressed to anyone specific saying that he was fine and to not come and get him, the only reason he even did this is because he couldn't bare to be by people who wanted to protect him from something that is pre-destined to happen, and get hurt because of it.
Another reason is that he was afraid for his friends. He didn't want them to get hurt. He always felt this way, but now the feeling was amplified about one hundred times because of the loss of Sirius and the price that his friends paid for going with him.
After brooding about his newest letter he went down stairs and got some breakfast and decided to go for a walk. As he was walking the streets of Magnolia Crescent he felt the presence of another person among him, so he speed up while placing his hand in his wand pocket. A few more blocks later he still felt the person or persons near him and he shouted. "Come out you coward, I know you are there." And from behind him a figure emerged from under an invisibility cloak.
It was Remus Lupin.
"Hello Harry." He said in a solemn tone.
"What do you want, didn't you read my note I sent to the Order, I want to be left alone."
"Of, course I got your letters Harry, which is why I came. Your letters were very disconcerting, and I believe Miss Weasley is ready to curse you into the next century if you don't start answering her letters soon." Lupin answered.
"Jolly Good, I can't wait to see her again." Harry said with spite.
"Harry, what is wrong, don't you tell me you have become this way because of what happened to Sirius." Lupin said with concern.
"No, Sirius actually did me a favor, to bad he had to die to put it into perspective for me." Harry said as he started to walk away from Lupin.
Remus ran up to him put a hand on his shoulder, but Harry didn't turn around, Lupin asked. "And what favor did Sirius put in perspective for you, Harry?"
"That I am dangerous, so back off." And with that he pulled out of his grip and made his way to Privet Drive. Remus didn't follow.
When Harry finally entered his room he was trying desperately to keep his composure. He was furious that Lupin had been spying on him, but then again he knew someone was always on watch while he was at number four. No, what made him mad is that Remus was the one on his watch; it didn't bother him when he was being watched by some unknown person, but Remus was a close friend. He was trying to think of a way to push Remus away so that he would be safe and out of harms way, he wasn't answering anyone's letters because he wanted his friends to be safe, if no one knew him then everyone would be a lot safer. While pondering these thought he came to realize what he was doing.
What he really was trying to do was subconsciously try to figure away out of the mess that he was in and a way out is what he really wanted and needed. He wanted to run away to, be free of the burden that haunts him, to distance himself from his friends that are in so much peril because of him. So he decided to do just that, the boy who lived was going to flee Privet Drive.
{Grimuwald Place}
The dreary halls and rooms of the headquarters for the Order of the Phoenix were quite on this summer's day as they had been for the last two weeks since school got out. The house guests at the present time included Ron, Hermione, Ginny, Mr. and Mrs. Weasley, Remus Lupin and Tonks.
The house that once belonged to the ancient Black family was a subdued one, epically since the events that took place during the end of the school year. There was no laughter, and no pranks to be played, there were just feelings of despair and worry, mostly over one individual and that person was of course Harry Potter.
Ginny, was sitting in her room like she had been doing for most of the summer break. Her feelings were a mess. Her most cumbersome feeling was how she was feeling for the person who basically saved now twice in her life time. Ginny thought that she had gotten over her crush of Harry, but the events of two weeks ago bashed those thoughts away, the way she saw Harry battle and have no fear made her truly admire Harry, for just Harry, not the boy who lived.
She had just finished writing another letter to Harry, so far she had sent a couple this summer but none had been returned, not just hers for that matter, but Ron and Hermione's owls had come back empty, and it worried her, thinking how bad Harry must be dealing with Sirius loss. She sealed her letter and tied it to Pig.
Dear Harry,
Well were waiting for your response. We all know of course that you are away in America for vacation, Right because other wise you would answer our letters RIGHT. NO THEN. WHAT ARE YOU DOING? If you don't write to me or anyone then I will curse you so bad that no one will know who or what you are.
Ginny
She knew that the letter was a bit brutal but she wanted answers and that was the only way left to try and get them out of Harry.
As Pig flew off there was a knock on the door.
"Who is it?" Ginny asked.
"Hermione, can I come in?"
Ginny got up and pulled the door open and met her roommate.
"What are you doing?" Hermione asked with a sad voice. Ginny knew that this absence from her family, and worry about Harry had been rough on her friend.
"Just sent off a letter." She replied.
"To Harry?" When Ginny nodded her head she spoke again in concerned voice.
"I can't imagine what he is going through but I think that it is much more than just Sirius's death."
"What do you mean?" Ginny asked with anxiety in her voice.
"Well after what happen in the ministry Harry spent along time in Dumbledore's office and I think that they discussed more than just the events of that night. He was ... oh, I don't know but he didn't react the way I thought that he would when he lost him, I thought that he would be different."
With another knock Ron entered the room.
"What are you girls doing in here?" With the looks on their faces it was pretty obvious what their main topic of discussion was. "So talking about Harry?"
"Ron would you say that Harry has more bothering him than meets the eye?" Hermione asked Ron.
"Well, of course, he does have a Dark Lord trying to kill him every year." Ron said still confused where this was leading.
"No, Ron more than that. Harry has always had a Dark Lord after him. What I meant is every since that night at the Ministry and he returned from Dumbledore's office?" She prompted.
"Now that you mention it he was a bit strange, a bit detached, not how I thought he would be after he lost Sirius."
"SEE GINNY, I'm not the only one who thinks that there is something more wrong with Harry. I wonder if he is ok, I hope he doesn't do anything rash." Hermione said to Ginny.
"Well we will soon find out, mum told me that Remus went to see him today, and he is coming back tonight for the Order meeting."
As if on cue the screams of Mrs. Black echoed through out the house telling everyone that a person had just entered the house. All three kids went to see the new arrival. It turned out that not only had Remus come back earlier than expected, but Dumbledore had come with him. After they silenced the portrait Remus and Dumbledore were talking in hushed whispers and Remus seemed on the verge of tears.
Ginny who couldn't hold in any longer broke from the group and said, "Did you go and see Harry?" When Remus nodded she continued. "Well, is he ok, how is he, what about the muggles, did he say anything, is he fine?" She asked very impatiently.
Remus just looked at her, she could now tell for sure that he was close to tears, then Remus turned and looked Dumbledore in the eyes and left the room now crying.
Dumbledore turned his sad gaze to the group now all assembled near the bottom of the stairs.
"Harry is alright … right professor?" Ginny asked apprehensively.
"He is fine in a physical sense, but for a mental one I can not say. Harry is dealing with a lot and he has to cope with it in his own way." Dumbledore said this very slowly, he too seemed to not be his normal self. He smiled a forced smile and turned to leave a very downtrodden group as they headed up stair, because the meeting was about to start.
Later that night Dumbledore sat in his office, thinking about many things. Harry was his main concern, he didn't seem to be holding up very well, he needed something to cheer Harry up then he remembered something.
A week after he told the prophesy to the Potters James had come to him with a box, and told Dumbledore to keep it safe and if he shall die to deliver the box to Harry when he learns of his fate.
He got up from his old chair and went to a book on his shelf and pulled. A secret passage opened up that led to a storage room full of magical objects. "This should cheer Harry up, a gift from his father."
When he returned to his office he noticed that Fawkes was not there so he headed up to the owlery and chose a post owl. Quite confident that this was the cure he sent the owl off with the package. Little did the Headmaster know that the package that was disappearing toward Privet Drive would change the Harry Potter he knew, forever.
Disclaimer: All things Harry Potter belong to Rowling. No copyright infringement is intended. I do own all new characters.
Spoilers: HP SS, HP COS, HP POA, HP GOF, HP OOTP
Categories: Angst, Action/Adventure, Romance
Author: Aggiefan23
Chapter Number: #1
Chapter Name: Depression
Rating: PG-13 (Mild Language)
{Privet Drive}
Two weeks had passed by since the day that Harry stepped off the Hogwarts Express and nothing had changed. This aunt and his uncle now didn't talk to him at all and they didn't even cook for him any more. Dudley had grown more muscular over the school year due to another year training with the boxing team. Yet, Harry was still doing what he had done for the past two weeks; he was sitting morosely in his room hearing the words in his head over and over again.
"The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches..."
He, Harry Potter was the one chosen to vanquish the Dark Lord. Even though Harry finally knew the truth it still angered him greatly, he was angry at everybody, Voldemort for killing Cedric and his parents, Bellatrix for killing Sirius, Ron for being a prat, Hermione for saying he likes to play the hero, and Dumbledore for keeping the prophesy from him, something he should have known long ago, something a fifteen year old boy shouldn't have to deal with, why always Harry Potter.
Even though the prophesy weighted heavy on his mind he was still mourning the loss of Sirius, even before he came back to Privet Drive he vowed to never step foot in to Grimuwald Place again, because there were just to many memories for him to deal with. He was to blame for his death, it was his fault Sirius fell through the veil, and it all came back to one thing, the prophesy, his destiny.
The thought that his destiny was preset scared him to death, if the prophesy was true, which he thought is was then his life was already planned out for him and he couldn't stand the thought that his decisions and actions wouldn't matter in the end because his future was already set, and he was pissed off about it, no matter what he did he would face the Dark Lord and become a murder, or become murdered. He thought he would probably be the latter.
"How can I battle Voldemort, Dumbledore in the ministry last year was like nothing I have ever seen. How am I supposed to do that…? I can't even apperate yet, let alone battle the way Dumbledore did." He thought to himself as he sat in his room.
His thoughts, however, were interrupted by the shill voice of his aunt calling him from down stairs.
"Harry, get down here now!"
Harry got up from his bed and made his way down stairs, as he passed by the window he saw Mrs. Figg walking down the street her eyes watching him. He didn't even acknowledge her; he just looked her straight in the eye with a look that told her to back off. When she continued on her walk he made his way down stairs and met his aunt in the kitchen.
"Eat, now you look like you haven't eaten in weeks and I won't have those people over here thinking that I starve you." She said looking at him. When he sat down she continued. "I got a letter from your headmaster at school today."
"What did that old man want?" asked Harry in sarcastic tone because he wasn't happy that Dumbledore was now resorting to contacting his muggle relatives to get in contact with him.
"Harry, he told me what happen this year." She was looking right at him with concern in her eyes for what seemed like the first time. After Harry didn't answer she continued. "You haven't been your self lately and you need to start eating again. I know what you are going through, I too have lost people."
"You have no idea what I am going through." Harry hissed. "You have no idea."
"It will be alright Harry."
Harry now on the verge of tears got up from the table and made his way to the kitchen door when he got there he turned around and faced his aunt. "I don't want your pity." And with that he left the room and went upstairs.
When he got up stairs the feelings of sadness was subsiding and feelings of guilt were creeping up upon him again as he made his way over to the window in his room to look out. He opened it to let the fresh air engulf him as he closed his eyes and thought about Sirius, his godfather. After what seem hours he finally made his way to bed and settled into another restless nights sleep.
Harry awoke to the sound of a bird chirping outside; for he left the window open all night. When he put on his glasses he saw that Hedwig had returned from her nights hunt, but she was also bearing another letter, this one from Remus. He sighed has he thought about his last link to his parents, he took the letter and cast it aside with the pile of other unopened letters.
The letters had piled up on his desk for some time now and he wasn't about to open them. There were seven from Ron and Hermione, three from Ginny, and two from Remus. He hadn't replied to any of the letters, in fact the only letters that he wrote were to the Order in general, not addressed to anyone specific saying that he was fine and to not come and get him, the only reason he even did this is because he couldn't bare to be by people who wanted to protect him from something that is pre-destined to happen, and get hurt because of it.
Another reason is that he was afraid for his friends. He didn't want them to get hurt. He always felt this way, but now the feeling was amplified about one hundred times because of the loss of Sirius and the price that his friends paid for going with him.
After brooding about his newest letter he went down stairs and got some breakfast and decided to go for a walk. As he was walking the streets of Magnolia Crescent he felt the presence of another person among him, so he speed up while placing his hand in his wand pocket. A few more blocks later he still felt the person or persons near him and he shouted. "Come out you coward, I know you are there." And from behind him a figure emerged from under an invisibility cloak.
It was Remus Lupin.
"Hello Harry." He said in a solemn tone.
"What do you want, didn't you read my note I sent to the Order, I want to be left alone."
"Of, course I got your letters Harry, which is why I came. Your letters were very disconcerting, and I believe Miss Weasley is ready to curse you into the next century if you don't start answering her letters soon." Lupin answered.
"Jolly Good, I can't wait to see her again." Harry said with spite.
"Harry, what is wrong, don't you tell me you have become this way because of what happened to Sirius." Lupin said with concern.
"No, Sirius actually did me a favor, to bad he had to die to put it into perspective for me." Harry said as he started to walk away from Lupin.
Remus ran up to him put a hand on his shoulder, but Harry didn't turn around, Lupin asked. "And what favor did Sirius put in perspective for you, Harry?"
"That I am dangerous, so back off." And with that he pulled out of his grip and made his way to Privet Drive. Remus didn't follow.
When Harry finally entered his room he was trying desperately to keep his composure. He was furious that Lupin had been spying on him, but then again he knew someone was always on watch while he was at number four. No, what made him mad is that Remus was the one on his watch; it didn't bother him when he was being watched by some unknown person, but Remus was a close friend. He was trying to think of a way to push Remus away so that he would be safe and out of harms way, he wasn't answering anyone's letters because he wanted his friends to be safe, if no one knew him then everyone would be a lot safer. While pondering these thought he came to realize what he was doing.
What he really was trying to do was subconsciously try to figure away out of the mess that he was in and a way out is what he really wanted and needed. He wanted to run away to, be free of the burden that haunts him, to distance himself from his friends that are in so much peril because of him. So he decided to do just that, the boy who lived was going to flee Privet Drive.
{Grimuwald Place}
The dreary halls and rooms of the headquarters for the Order of the Phoenix were quite on this summer's day as they had been for the last two weeks since school got out. The house guests at the present time included Ron, Hermione, Ginny, Mr. and Mrs. Weasley, Remus Lupin and Tonks.
The house that once belonged to the ancient Black family was a subdued one, epically since the events that took place during the end of the school year. There was no laughter, and no pranks to be played, there were just feelings of despair and worry, mostly over one individual and that person was of course Harry Potter.
Ginny, was sitting in her room like she had been doing for most of the summer break. Her feelings were a mess. Her most cumbersome feeling was how she was feeling for the person who basically saved now twice in her life time. Ginny thought that she had gotten over her crush of Harry, but the events of two weeks ago bashed those thoughts away, the way she saw Harry battle and have no fear made her truly admire Harry, for just Harry, not the boy who lived.
She had just finished writing another letter to Harry, so far she had sent a couple this summer but none had been returned, not just hers for that matter, but Ron and Hermione's owls had come back empty, and it worried her, thinking how bad Harry must be dealing with Sirius loss. She sealed her letter and tied it to Pig.
Dear Harry,
Well were waiting for your response. We all know of course that you are away in America for vacation, Right because other wise you would answer our letters RIGHT. NO THEN. WHAT ARE YOU DOING? If you don't write to me or anyone then I will curse you so bad that no one will know who or what you are.
Ginny
She knew that the letter was a bit brutal but she wanted answers and that was the only way left to try and get them out of Harry.
As Pig flew off there was a knock on the door.
"Who is it?" Ginny asked.
"Hermione, can I come in?"
Ginny got up and pulled the door open and met her roommate.
"What are you doing?" Hermione asked with a sad voice. Ginny knew that this absence from her family, and worry about Harry had been rough on her friend.
"Just sent off a letter." She replied.
"To Harry?" When Ginny nodded her head she spoke again in concerned voice.
"I can't imagine what he is going through but I think that it is much more than just Sirius's death."
"What do you mean?" Ginny asked with anxiety in her voice.
"Well after what happen in the ministry Harry spent along time in Dumbledore's office and I think that they discussed more than just the events of that night. He was ... oh, I don't know but he didn't react the way I thought that he would when he lost him, I thought that he would be different."
With another knock Ron entered the room.
"What are you girls doing in here?" With the looks on their faces it was pretty obvious what their main topic of discussion was. "So talking about Harry?"
"Ron would you say that Harry has more bothering him than meets the eye?" Hermione asked Ron.
"Well, of course, he does have a Dark Lord trying to kill him every year." Ron said still confused where this was leading.
"No, Ron more than that. Harry has always had a Dark Lord after him. What I meant is every since that night at the Ministry and he returned from Dumbledore's office?" She prompted.
"Now that you mention it he was a bit strange, a bit detached, not how I thought he would be after he lost Sirius."
"SEE GINNY, I'm not the only one who thinks that there is something more wrong with Harry. I wonder if he is ok, I hope he doesn't do anything rash." Hermione said to Ginny.
"Well we will soon find out, mum told me that Remus went to see him today, and he is coming back tonight for the Order meeting."
As if on cue the screams of Mrs. Black echoed through out the house telling everyone that a person had just entered the house. All three kids went to see the new arrival. It turned out that not only had Remus come back earlier than expected, but Dumbledore had come with him. After they silenced the portrait Remus and Dumbledore were talking in hushed whispers and Remus seemed on the verge of tears.
Ginny who couldn't hold in any longer broke from the group and said, "Did you go and see Harry?" When Remus nodded she continued. "Well, is he ok, how is he, what about the muggles, did he say anything, is he fine?" She asked very impatiently.
Remus just looked at her, she could now tell for sure that he was close to tears, then Remus turned and looked Dumbledore in the eyes and left the room now crying.
Dumbledore turned his sad gaze to the group now all assembled near the bottom of the stairs.
"Harry is alright … right professor?" Ginny asked apprehensively.
"He is fine in a physical sense, but for a mental one I can not say. Harry is dealing with a lot and he has to cope with it in his own way." Dumbledore said this very slowly, he too seemed to not be his normal self. He smiled a forced smile and turned to leave a very downtrodden group as they headed up stair, because the meeting was about to start.
Later that night Dumbledore sat in his office, thinking about many things. Harry was his main concern, he didn't seem to be holding up very well, he needed something to cheer Harry up then he remembered something.
A week after he told the prophesy to the Potters James had come to him with a box, and told Dumbledore to keep it safe and if he shall die to deliver the box to Harry when he learns of his fate.
He got up from his old chair and went to a book on his shelf and pulled. A secret passage opened up that led to a storage room full of magical objects. "This should cheer Harry up, a gift from his father."
When he returned to his office he noticed that Fawkes was not there so he headed up to the owlery and chose a post owl. Quite confident that this was the cure he sent the owl off with the package. Little did the Headmaster know that the package that was disappearing toward Privet Drive would change the Harry Potter he knew, forever.