This was a challenge. Literally. I was on the coach to Thorpe Park and bored, so I wrote down the names of everything I would write a fic for and made me pick a piece of paper at random and then I put my mp3 on shuffle and had to write a fic on that show to the theme of the first song that played. The song was 'Face Down' by The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus.
He came, but he was too late. He came just as the 'I do' left my lips and stood stock still, staring at my hand as Gisbourne slipped the ring onto it and sealed my fate with a kiss. My fate. My new life as a married woman, but not to the man I truly love. We were never even allowed a kiss, and now we never will because although I do not love him, I care for Guy and cannot betray my husband. I am married and duty bound to be faithful, even if it kills me inside.
I could not bear to watch Robin's face as he was dragged from the church, he did not even struggle, just let Gisbourne's men drag him away. My husband's men. I could not watch his heart break as the realisation hit that he had came too late to save me. I did not look, but that did not mean I could not feel it. I felt his every emotion seep into the atmosphere, even after he was dragged away. I knew what he was feeling because I felt it too.
In the instant I finished my vows, it was the evaporation of hope, the last shred that still fluttered in my heart, knowing that Robin would come,flapped its wings and flew away leaving me alone and souless and was replaced by a heavy weight of sadness and faded hope that settled itself in the very core of my heart. The heart that was still forced to beat, alone and without the one it really needed to live. Then came the anger, the betrayal that Robin had not been there at the time I really needed him; although I knew deep down that the only person to blame was myself.
I went back with him that night, my new husband. I went back to an extravagant house, fit for royalty that would never be home. Not like the forest was. It was large and luxurious, there, I would have a more comfortable life that I had ever had at the forest, or even the castle, but there was something missing. Something so very wrong. Home is meant to be where the heart it, and mine was deep in Sheerwood with a scruffy outlaw. My scruffy outlaw.
Guy lead me straight over to the bedroom, I could not think of it as ours, and I knew what he wanted. He wanted us to start our lives as a married couple. The bed was large, just like the rest of the house; a huge four poster with an embroided red and gold throw, but I didn't want it. All I wanted was to be back in the forest, sleeping on the solid ground with the stars looming above me, falling asleep staring up at them through a net of leaves and branches.
He laid me down on the bed and was next to be before I had the chance to protest. I was still in my wedding dress, but had the feeling I would not be for long. Guy reached his hand round to the back of my head to release my hair from the clasp, but it did not make me feel any more free. If anything, I felt more trapped than ever. It was unavoidable now, our marriage would have to be completed and that meant having to lose my innocence to the wrong man.
Gisbourne was gentle, he was kind. He removed my dress carefully, so not to tear it let it drift to the floor along with my hopes that Robin would still come and take me from that, save me from having to lay with a man I do not love. I tried to make him stop there. I took his hands and whispered his name into the candlelight, my voice pleading with him to stop. "We're a married couple now Marian," he reasoned. "It's expected of us, do you not love me?" So I said nothing as he continued to touch me, I neither moved nor responded to anything he did. I let him I let him take away what I should have lost to only one man.
While he was cementing our marriage, I turned my head to the window, peering desperately out of it in case Robin was standing there, watching us as he had been so many times before. He never liked me to be alone with Gisbourne. He did not trust him and would always watch us, making sure he never hurt me, not matter how many times I tried to tell him Guy never would. Of course, he was not there.
When it was over, Guy did not move away from me as I so wanted him to. He stayed there, laying right next to me and it took all my strength and will power not to push him away. I would not look at him though. I turned my head and stared blankly at the wall beside me, trying to focus on anything except the man beside me who I was doomed to spend the rest of my life with. Would every night be as that one was? I knew I could not take that, I could not lie to Guy and myself every day for the rest of my life, but what other choice did I have? I was bound to be with him forever. I would do what was expected of me.
If Robin had came on time, I would not have hesitated in leaving Guy to be with him in the forest, but I could not do it alone. I could not leave Guy with nowhere else to go, no one else to keep me secure. Marrying Guy was the only other choice I had, and when Robin did not come, I had to do it. I had to go through my vows, although I said them as slowly as I could get away with. I delayed, I tried, but he was still too late.
Guy noticed something was not right. He could hardly fail to, all the time I had refused to respond, and now I would not even look at him. He whispered my name, lifted my hair from my neck to place a kiss there and I struggled not to shudder. I did like Guy, but as no more than a friend. Laying with him was wrong, I could feel it in every part of me, deep in my bones. His warm breath was on my neck, tingling and making the hairs on my skin stand up.
"Why are you not happy? Do you not love me?" Still, I did not respond. I could not tell him the truth, and if I lied then, I would be doomed to pretend to love him forever. The agreement was to marry him, I never said I would love him. Guy sighed at my lack of response and finally pulled away from me, rolling over to lie on his back on the other side of the bed.
"I expect you are just tired from the wedding. It has been a long day and we will both need time to adjust. I am sure things will be different as you settle into married life." His voice was calm, reassured. He really believed his words, he thought he was the man for me, the one who was going to make me happy. He seemed to forget that the marriage was forced, I never wanted this and I never will.
"They will not," I said into the candlelit room, still not looking at him, my new husband. I did not need to to feel his reaction at my words. His body stiffened beside me and his surprise soon turned to fury. He propped himself up on one elbow and leant right over me, turning me around and forcing me to look at him. "We are a married couple Marian, and you will act like it. Why is it that I have given you everything and you still are not happy? What is it you want from me?"
Something inside me snapped, and suddenly, I was no longer afraid. I scrambled up from the bed, collecting one of the many sheets that lined the bed with me, I did not want him to see me. My own anger was rising and I no longer cared about making him think I wanted it, that was never the promise. I only vowed I would marry him. My wedding vows simply said I would be faithful and would treat him as if he were someone I cared for. I made sure of that. They never said I had to love him, I never said I had to pretend I did.
"I am not happy because this is never what I wanted! I did not agree to marry you because I wanted to Guy, I agreed because I had no choice! And all the time we were standing there at the alter I prayed someone would come and rescue me! I never stopped hoping someone would save me from the life I was falling into right up until 'I do'."
At my truth spoken words, Guy was on his feet too, looking more furious than I had ever seen him. His face was red and screwed up in rage, his eyes flashing dangerously, but I felt no fear, only my own rage at the life I had been forced into and choices I was stripped of.
"I forced you into nothing, it was your own choice that got you here and you will serve me as a wife should," he shouted, louder than I have ever heard him. If I had been thinking straight, if I had no been so bitter and heartbroken, I would have been afraid. I would have tried to calm and reason with him, but in that moment, I did not care.
"I am not your slave! You will not control me for the rest of my life, and I will certainly not lay with you every night as we just did!" I was determined of that, he was not going to make me do with him what he willed, I would not be a woman who obeyed to her husband's every demand.
"You will do what I tell you to do Marian!" He roared, stepping closer to me so either one of us could reach out and touch the other. "You will be a wife to me and a mother to our children and in time, you will love me!" I could not bear to hear him anymore, I could not stand his words, his insistence that our marriage was going to work out and I would be happy. If he really cared for me, he would never have made me do this. Just like Robin did, if he loved me, he would let me go.
"I will not! I can never love you Guy, because my heart is already lost! That will never change, because I love Robin Hood!" That was the first time I admitted it aloud, I had not even told Robin, but it hardly mattered. I would never get the chance.
I felt Guy's hand sharp and heavy across my cheek. My head snapped to the side and I was once again staring at the wall, but that time not by choice. I did not cry out, or reach my own hand to the place where his had landed. I did not look at him, or even take my eyes off the wall. I stayed there, in that exact position. I did not matter what I did, I would be condemned to be his wife for as long as we lived.
When Guy next spoke, his voice was quiet and shaking with rage. "Never, ever say that man's name again. You will not speak to him, you will not look at him and you will never be with him. You are my wife now, and if you do not act like it, you fate will be the same as Hood's." He swept from the room without waiting for a response and it was only then that I moved.
I stumbled across to the bed we had settled our married life on and sat down on the edge, defeated. There was nothing I could do. It was my life now, and I was expected to follow Gisbourne's wishes each day until I died. He would make sure of that. I had no doubt in mind that he really would have me executed if I did not follow his orders, if I was not the wife he wanted me to be. He had fought to have me for so long, and now I was his, he was not going to let me go now or ever.
I do not know how long I sat there. I lost count of the seconds, the minutes, the hours. All I know is that time passed and although Gisbourne was still inside the house I had never felt so alone. I never wished more than I did in that moment to be in Robin's arms and have him comfort and hold me.
There was a noise from outside and my heart leapt into my mouth. I just knew it was him. Quicker than I had moved all night, I ran to the window and leaned out of it, peering down into the dark. He was there, staring up at the window from his position on the floor. I was about to climb out of the window and down the wall when I remembered I was still wearing the sheet. I quickly grabbed my petticoat from the floor and pulled it over my head before proceeding out of the window. It was not far to climb and after years as the nightwatchman, was easy.
Soon, I was back with Robin again, and it almost feels as if nothing had changed, but it had and neither of us could ignore that. We didn't touch as I stepped down to the ground and he simply looked at me as if he could not quite believe what I had done.
"Why are you here?" I asked after a while, unable to bear the silence between us. He looked me up and down as if asking me why I even needed to be told and for a while, I thought he was not going to reply, but then he spoke.
"I came to see how you are settling into your married life," he said, coldly, his tone making me shiver. I could not bear for Robin to hate me on top of everything else. I needed him on my side, even if we could not be together, I needed to know he was there.
"Robin-" I began, but he cut me off.
"No. You made your choice, you did not have to marry him. You could have said no, you could have ran. You did not need to do it. It was just your morals and fears for your father that made you. Do I really mean that little to you?"
Tears began to flow down my cheeks at his words, and I was glad it was dark. I could not see his face, and he could not see mine. "Of course not, Robin, you know had to do it. He would have-"
"Hurt your father. Yes, I know Marian. But what you do not understand is he would not. I would not allow it. Even after all this time, why do you still have such little faith in me?" I could hear the cold tone of his voice, the way his anger and hurt seeped through the air and got right under my skin, infecting everything and making it all ache.
A cloud floated away from its place covering the moon, and just for a moment, we were illuminated and saw each other perfectly for the first time that evening. His face was lined with hurt and rejection. I could see in his features that he believed that was really my choice, that I had one. It took me a few moments to realise he was not looking at me. Not in the eye anyway. He was staring at my cheek and as he took in the forming bruise that lined the bone, his eyes widened and his expression changed from pained to furious. Even more furious than Gisbourne had looked right before he gave it to me.
"He did this to you?" He gasped, reaching up to touch me. I flinched away, knowing if I allowed his contact now, it would not stop and then Guy would kill us both. I could not allow him to fight my battles for me, if he went for Gisbourne over this, then Guy would know I had seen him.
I fixed my expression so it was cold and hard. I did not want to do it to him, I felt as if I was dooming both out lives, but I knew that I had to. Life, it is not about choices. It is about what needs to be done, and what is right for those around you. Robin would find someone else, he would be alright. It would be me who was doomed, and I could live with that if it meant saving those I loved. I stared him straight in the eye and spoke loudly and clearly to make sure he heard my every word and could not be mistaken.
"I made my choice," I said, coldly, throwing his words back at him. Then I walked away, I turned my back on him and left him standing in the cold darkness and climbed back up the wall and into my bedroom. Back to my husband.
I'm not sure I'm too happy with this, but oh well. It was only a coach challenge.
Nice and cheery. Not my fault, the song wasn't and I had to base it on that. Reviews loved :)
One shot.