Bob the marine.
Once upon a time in the world of Starcraft there was a marine called Bob. They were on the ash
world char and he sat in a base protecting a singly insignificant supply depot. It was his job. That was all he
did, he just stood there all day watching this supply depot while all the SCVs drove off cursing their ill
fortune at having to work so darn hard. Bob was the luckiest man in the entire base. He never had to do a
thing: all he need do was sit where he was and not go anywhere. Movement would be breaking orders.
He watched day by day as out of the barracks sweaty faced flame thrower soldiers and marines
and ghosts poured out speaking fiercely into their transmitters and out of the factories poured tons of siege
tanks and science vessels out of the star port. Battle cruisers and other huge monstrosities grouped together
at the base's entrance where bunkers filled with men sat their hands on the trigger ready to shoot any
enemies in sight. And then in a huge cluster the fighting force with drop ships loaded to the max would fly
off into the distance never to return.
He watched day by day as he sat by his supply depot sitting back and drinking beer the tanks and
Goliaths charging off to their destruction at the hands of Protoss or Zerg forces. He never had to do
anything merely wait and watch as the soldiers and tanks drove off to their deaths. Bob had quite given up
any ideas of heroism. He was really quite a mundane person really. The base commander seemed almost to
have entirely forgotten about him. He could imagine the commander sweaty faced at some computer going
"omg omg what is the enemy going to do next! O_O"
And meanwhile Bob calm as ever just sat by his supply depot drinking beer and reading the paper.
It was an easy existence and the trinkets he had with him to consume made a nice relaxation agenda to the
dark skies above and the fiery-cratered ground below in the valleys and chasms.
On one of these very normal and boring days after a huge strike force had just headed out to attack
the Zerg there was silence in the air. And for the first time Bob noticed how few people there were in the
base. The factories were quiet and the only defense left was the rusty siege tanks and a couple of science
vessels that had been left behind next to the bunkers. There was no chirping of ghosts and marines and fire
bats. There was just quietness reeking throughout all the alleyways through each building. Bob suddenly
felt very alone. The wind howled and for the first time thoughts of heroism gathered in Bob's mind and he
realized that he too wanted to be heroic. He wanted to do something amazing that would mark him down in
the books as "Bob the Marine who did something!"
He wanted to be remembered but alas he realized with grim certainty that he would never get the
chance. With a sigh he relaxed and closed his eyes falling into a soft drunken sleep. It was a long time
before he awoke.
When he did it was because of a very loud noise. Bob straightened up immediately and checked
the valley. There was nothing happening. There was another crash and looking behind him from his deck
chair Bob noticed something very embarrassing. A blue Archon standing up 30 feet into the air loomed
with glowing hands and purple fiery eyes. The protoss flames licked off its body as it howled and with a
great blow flattened all of the supply depots in one go. The deck chair the Archon and Bob were the only
things in a 30-meter radius left standing; it was truly a pitiful sight.
With another crash the Archon stormed off towards the siege tanks and bunkers. Bob widened his
eyes and watched in horror. He dropped his paper not at all sure what to do. The siege tanks fired and the
Archon's shield dropped heavily. Quickly as anything the Archon darted in-between the tanks. Each tank
and bunker in turn exploded with a smash of its mighty fiery hands. Metal and pieces of tractor and science
vessel glass burst out as its hands cut through the Terran contraptions.
"Flee, flee!" cried the SCVs and they all drove off from their work stations by the minerals and
Gas Refinery. The Archon strolled towards the command center with burning purple fire in its eyes and
death in its intention and it roared again pausing in its movement, as there was nothing left to oppose it. It
stretched its hands up into the air in a victorious gesture over the puny humans.
"OMG OMG WTF MOVE J00 STOOPID MARR33N!!" sounded a voice from Bob's walkie-
talkie.
"Who's speaking?" he gasped looking around him
"ITS ME TEH BASE COMMANDER!!!!! NOW MOVE 1T!!!!!!!!!"
"Aye aye sir!" he replied honored that the base commander should speak to him personally.
Quickly he hopped off his chair and charging forward to what he presumed would be a suicide attack he
aimed his gun forward at the Archon that was already making short work of the Command center.
He fired and stopped in fear. The Archon turned its head and glared at him. The big purple eyes
looked at him blurring into his very soul.
"Eh heh… I didn't mean that," he smiled sheepishly. The Archon now turned its body towards
him and howled.
"YES JOO DID JOO STOOPID MARINER NOW GET gOIn! N0WWWW!!!!!!!!
ATTTTTTACCCCC!!!!!GOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOGO"
"Sod that," said Bob and ran off in the opposite direction. He left the transmitter on the ground
and hopped over his deck chair in the opposite direction. With a great stomping of feet the Archon charged
off after him roaring and shouting. Faster and faster he could hear its loud steps charging after him and the
angered shouts of the base commander pouring through the transmitter that he had left on the ground. It
crunched with a red beep under the Archon's blue flaming foot.
He hurried on away and exited the base passed the ruined buildings and supply depots. All the
time the steps of the Archon were not far behind him. He ran and he ran hurrying down the slope he passed
away the last lines of attack that the base had once had to offer. He was out in the wilderness now. This was
it, the end. The Archon was catching up with Bob and soon he would part his final breath. Kneeling down
he sobbed frantically on the ground as the Archon approached with death in it's eyes.
But the blow never came. There was a screech from behind him and a huge explosion sounded
out. He turned around to watch fifty spider mines leap out of the ground and charge towards the Archon.
They exploded with a mushroom cloud and when the gas and fire cleared there was nothing left. He'd lead
the Archon into a minefield.
"Omg Joo are so lucky, just wait till I send teh carriers," grumbled the enemy base commander but
he never got the chance. Because just at that moment the huge task force that had been sent out reached him
and raised the Protoss base to the ground. The Terrans were victorious and young Bob the beer drinking
marine who did nothing all day but guard the supply depots was given the Star fighter medal of bravery. He
retired to a luxurious swimming pool on battle.net and never had to work again.
The End.
Once upon a time in the world of Starcraft there was a marine called Bob. They were on the ash
world char and he sat in a base protecting a singly insignificant supply depot. It was his job. That was all he
did, he just stood there all day watching this supply depot while all the SCVs drove off cursing their ill
fortune at having to work so darn hard. Bob was the luckiest man in the entire base. He never had to do a
thing: all he need do was sit where he was and not go anywhere. Movement would be breaking orders.
He watched day by day as out of the barracks sweaty faced flame thrower soldiers and marines
and ghosts poured out speaking fiercely into their transmitters and out of the factories poured tons of siege
tanks and science vessels out of the star port. Battle cruisers and other huge monstrosities grouped together
at the base's entrance where bunkers filled with men sat their hands on the trigger ready to shoot any
enemies in sight. And then in a huge cluster the fighting force with drop ships loaded to the max would fly
off into the distance never to return.
He watched day by day as he sat by his supply depot sitting back and drinking beer the tanks and
Goliaths charging off to their destruction at the hands of Protoss or Zerg forces. He never had to do
anything merely wait and watch as the soldiers and tanks drove off to their deaths. Bob had quite given up
any ideas of heroism. He was really quite a mundane person really. The base commander seemed almost to
have entirely forgotten about him. He could imagine the commander sweaty faced at some computer going
"omg omg what is the enemy going to do next! O_O"
And meanwhile Bob calm as ever just sat by his supply depot drinking beer and reading the paper.
It was an easy existence and the trinkets he had with him to consume made a nice relaxation agenda to the
dark skies above and the fiery-cratered ground below in the valleys and chasms.
On one of these very normal and boring days after a huge strike force had just headed out to attack
the Zerg there was silence in the air. And for the first time Bob noticed how few people there were in the
base. The factories were quiet and the only defense left was the rusty siege tanks and a couple of science
vessels that had been left behind next to the bunkers. There was no chirping of ghosts and marines and fire
bats. There was just quietness reeking throughout all the alleyways through each building. Bob suddenly
felt very alone. The wind howled and for the first time thoughts of heroism gathered in Bob's mind and he
realized that he too wanted to be heroic. He wanted to do something amazing that would mark him down in
the books as "Bob the Marine who did something!"
He wanted to be remembered but alas he realized with grim certainty that he would never get the
chance. With a sigh he relaxed and closed his eyes falling into a soft drunken sleep. It was a long time
before he awoke.
When he did it was because of a very loud noise. Bob straightened up immediately and checked
the valley. There was nothing happening. There was another crash and looking behind him from his deck
chair Bob noticed something very embarrassing. A blue Archon standing up 30 feet into the air loomed
with glowing hands and purple fiery eyes. The protoss flames licked off its body as it howled and with a
great blow flattened all of the supply depots in one go. The deck chair the Archon and Bob were the only
things in a 30-meter radius left standing; it was truly a pitiful sight.
With another crash the Archon stormed off towards the siege tanks and bunkers. Bob widened his
eyes and watched in horror. He dropped his paper not at all sure what to do. The siege tanks fired and the
Archon's shield dropped heavily. Quickly as anything the Archon darted in-between the tanks. Each tank
and bunker in turn exploded with a smash of its mighty fiery hands. Metal and pieces of tractor and science
vessel glass burst out as its hands cut through the Terran contraptions.
"Flee, flee!" cried the SCVs and they all drove off from their work stations by the minerals and
Gas Refinery. The Archon strolled towards the command center with burning purple fire in its eyes and
death in its intention and it roared again pausing in its movement, as there was nothing left to oppose it. It
stretched its hands up into the air in a victorious gesture over the puny humans.
"OMG OMG WTF MOVE J00 STOOPID MARR33N!!" sounded a voice from Bob's walkie-
talkie.
"Who's speaking?" he gasped looking around him
"ITS ME TEH BASE COMMANDER!!!!! NOW MOVE 1T!!!!!!!!!"
"Aye aye sir!" he replied honored that the base commander should speak to him personally.
Quickly he hopped off his chair and charging forward to what he presumed would be a suicide attack he
aimed his gun forward at the Archon that was already making short work of the Command center.
He fired and stopped in fear. The Archon turned its head and glared at him. The big purple eyes
looked at him blurring into his very soul.
"Eh heh… I didn't mean that," he smiled sheepishly. The Archon now turned its body towards
him and howled.
"YES JOO DID JOO STOOPID MARINER NOW GET gOIn! N0WWWW!!!!!!!!
ATTTTTTACCCCC!!!!!GOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOGO"
"Sod that," said Bob and ran off in the opposite direction. He left the transmitter on the ground
and hopped over his deck chair in the opposite direction. With a great stomping of feet the Archon charged
off after him roaring and shouting. Faster and faster he could hear its loud steps charging after him and the
angered shouts of the base commander pouring through the transmitter that he had left on the ground. It
crunched with a red beep under the Archon's blue flaming foot.
He hurried on away and exited the base passed the ruined buildings and supply depots. All the
time the steps of the Archon were not far behind him. He ran and he ran hurrying down the slope he passed
away the last lines of attack that the base had once had to offer. He was out in the wilderness now. This was
it, the end. The Archon was catching up with Bob and soon he would part his final breath. Kneeling down
he sobbed frantically on the ground as the Archon approached with death in it's eyes.
But the blow never came. There was a screech from behind him and a huge explosion sounded
out. He turned around to watch fifty spider mines leap out of the ground and charge towards the Archon.
They exploded with a mushroom cloud and when the gas and fire cleared there was nothing left. He'd lead
the Archon into a minefield.
"Omg Joo are so lucky, just wait till I send teh carriers," grumbled the enemy base commander but
he never got the chance. Because just at that moment the huge task force that had been sent out reached him
and raised the Protoss base to the ground. The Terrans were victorious and young Bob the beer drinking
marine who did nothing all day but guard the supply depots was given the Star fighter medal of bravery. He
retired to a luxurious swimming pool on battle.net and never had to work again.
The End.