WHY ZUTARA SHOULD HAPPEN
Chapter One-reasons 1-10
A/N - Inspired by the VERY funny fanfic, "50 Reasons Why Sokka and Toph Should Be Together", by my favorite pastries, under the name the poisoned donutofdoom. If you hate this because of my style-if you can call it that- donute's is very different so you should still read it and review for her. I'm advertising for strangers now."Here is Why Zuktara should happen."-aren't i creative? Oh let me add that Ronin has now started watching Avatar so let's clap for another one of usclaps
Disclaimer- I wish sooo bad that I owned Avatar, ooh the naughty things I could do, but as you see, it's rated TV7, which means I don't own it. Oh and as I said before, I was inspired, meaning the basic concept of the list was not my original idea either, again i lack creativity
A month after the very depressing season finale, the young avatards got bored. They had already discussed what should happen in the next season, read many forums and even read fanficts OH NOES! With nothing better to do, they decide to kidnap and maybe later rape Zuko. After Dsauve had her way with him, she passed him on to her friend, Crazy Krickets. Dsauve got bored again without her Zuko. What to do in a life with out ZuZu? It's so not fair! I want him back! And why doesn't Katara want him. That is when Dsauve, aka me, after reading the tale of "tokka" decided to kidnap Katara. And so, she sent her minion, aka her brother "Dorkalicous" out to fetch her. She bribed her azula-like little sister, "milk maid" (cuz the only reason she's in this is cuz she brought me milk) to set up the torture chamber, aka the kitchen. Then it happened, right as I got done duct tapping Katara to a stove. Crazy Krickets came over with Zuko, to gloat. But she didn't have time to be the bitch I know she is. This is because she was shocked that Katara was there.
"Dsuave...what is Katara doing here?" she asked
"I-"
"Hey!" Dsauve's brother shouted
"Through my brother" Dsauve continued, "brought her here to prove a point, u backstabbing Zuko stealing Kataang supporter!" Crazy Krickets drew one of her seven swords and pointed it at me,
"And what would that be?"
"Ru-fi"
"OOOOOOOOOOO" everyone chimed in. At that point Zuko died a little inside, but that wouldn't be the first time or the last, oh no it will not be the last.
"I also wanted to say that Zutara kicks major ass and you suck for supporting the relationship between a 12 year old monk-hero and a fourteen year old slut."
"HEY!" Katara yelled because Dsauve didn't duck tape her mouth.
"Shuddup women! You and your brother have way to many love interest." Katara shudded up because she knew Dsauve was right, she's always right. Crazy Krickets sat down on a chair because she knew a rant was about to start, and she was right.
"Dearly beloved." Dsauve began,
"We're not marrying them!" Milk-Maid yelled
"Why not! They BELONG TOGETHER! FOREVER! YAY STEAM SHIPS! NINTEENTH CENTURY ROCKS!" Dorkalicious yelled at Milk-Maid. (Steam shippers is a term I found for Zutara supporters on a forum and I thought it rocked). I continued,
"We gather here to say our good byes. Here she liiiiiiiies noone knew her worth the late great-"
"WHAT!" Dorkalicious yelled at Dsauve, "Now I'm lost."
"How did Rent get in this?" Renthead, Dsauves other younger sister suddenly appeared.
"Look what you did!" Milk Maid screamed, "You invoked the Renthead! Now we're never get rid of her!"
"This is supposed to be about me and your rediculous reasoning!" Katara yelled because she wasn't getting enough air time.
"Fine fine." Dsauve said pulling out her anime, "Renthead begone!" And like that, she left. "Was I supposed to be talking about something?" wandered Dsuave out loud.
"YES!" everyone but Zuko yelled. He was buisy in a corner being emo this whole time, the poor lad found Milk-Maids black nail polish.
"Alright...back to topic...which was..."
"ZUTARA! Why they should be together!" Screamed Crazy Krickets.
"Right right, Dorkalicious my list." Dorkalicious unrolled a long scroll that rolled out of the house because Dsauve writes really big.
"Right! Ok reasons, let's begin!" Dsauve yelled while hugging a scared Zuko.
Dsauve-Ok, everyone knows that you two are totally supposed to be together, even if it never happens, we all know the truth (breaks into song "I know the truth" from the musical "Aida")
Crazky Krickets-ooook...
Dsauve-Right! Reason number one! Water and fire! Opposites attrack! (A/N-i think this is the only reason w/o someone commenting/arguing over)
Reason #2-they make steam! What does water and air make? A hurricane, and nobody wants that. But steam! Steam gets out wrinkles on clothes too delicate to iron! Steam rocks!
Dorkalicious-oooook
Dsauve- oh! And steam boats yay nineteenth century!
Katara-yeah we already went through that, next one
Dsauve- oh and saunas! Suanas need steam! HOT TUBS! And tea! Thats how you know it's done! Steam! Oh come on Zuko gotta love that one! That's how Jet knew about you being a fire bender! Plus special effects! Dry ice is kinda steamy! And what else?
Dsauve looked around, -well there's gotta be lots of other good stuff for steam! Its steamy! Think of the passion! Like the car scene in Titanic. That can be you! Steam rocks!
Milk-Maid- Please move on
Katara-yeah... that wasn't a very strong argument
Dsauve(in kid voice)-WAS TOO!(normal voice) anyways...#3 It's ZUKO!
Katara-so?
Dsauve- OMG what girl wouldn't want Zuko, just look at him! He's totally ripped, strip Zuko!"
Zuko, making his first vocal appearance- WHAT!
Crazy Krickets- ooh! I'll strip him for you!
Dorkalicious- Milk-Maid, I think you need to leave
Milk-Maid-Hey! I'm ten! I can see!
Dsauve-(sighs) fine!
Dsauve tears off Zukos shirt
Dsauve and Crazy Krickets-Squeel
Dsauve- See Katara, Aang ain't got nuttn on him. Shoot sokka kinda boney too, but ZUKO!
Zuko- Stop touching me!
He had to shout this, because Dsauve and Crazy Krickets were indeed touching him, Crazy Kricket's looked ready to jump him to tell the truth. Dsauve saw it in her eyes. So in worry for Zuko, she used herself as a human sheild and sat on his lap.
Dorkalicious- I thought this was ZUTARA! NOT Dsauko!
Dsauve-Right right, dammit. Fine
Dsauve got off of his lap, much to Zukos delight. But she stood right next to him in case Crazy Krickets tried something.
Milk-Maid (annoyed)-Can we continue, I'm bored
Dorkalicious- Then leave no one wants you here anyways
Dsauve- No Zutara is for everyone, what reason am I on?
Dorkalisous- four
Dsauve-fine #4...you really don't think Zuko's hot?! I mean not literally because he's a fire bender, but physically in the sexy kind of way!
Everyone but Crazy Kricket because she agrees with me-DSAUVE!
Dsauve-fine fine, the REAL #4 you too look so cute together! Have you seen the Zutara on Deviantart! It's supper cute!
(i was going to copy paste but had issues, but feel free to look it up)
Krickets-you're so vain, can you think of a reason NOT having to do with how absolutely delish Zuko is?
Dsauve-fine fine...I love you Zuko!
Zuko-(montonal emo-voice) I'm flattered...(scouches the other way)
Dsauve- ok, reason #5, Katara's dated her enemy's before!
Katara-Have not!
Dsauve-What about JET!
Katara- We didn't date!
Dorkalicious-Yes you did! Toph even said so! Plus you made him a hat and you flirted and stuff
Katara-I did not
Dsauve- Don't lie, like he said, Toph said so, and Toph equals god!
Zuko-Then why aren't you writting a toph fanfict!
Dsauve- Shuddup bitch
Zuko-Make me!
Dsauve-Fine!
Zuko got all firey-Bring it!
Dsauve glomps him- I loooooooove yooooouuu!
Zuko-Get her off ! Get her OFF!
Katara used water bending and got Dsauve off
Dsauve-YES! Reason number 6! You just defended him! Didn't want me touching your man huh!?
Katara-huh? Did you just stage that whole thing just so-
Dsauve-YES! Why else would I tie you up yet leave a bottle of water next to you, do you think I'm an idiot!
Everybody looked away.
Dsauve-FINE! I'll use an actual reason, reason number 7! Shuzam! You wanted to kiss Zuko!
Zuko-You did?
Katara-I did?
Dsauve- Yes you did! Here I'll show you
Dsauve takes out her laptop...they all snacked on cookies while they waited twenty minutes for it to load because she has a crack addict computer.
Dsauve-Dorkalicious which ep was it in?
Dorkalisous- First season, episode 15
Dsauve-Awesome!(Fast forwards to the end) see right there!
Katara- what? That's me kissing AANG not Zuko
Dsauve- But you said, give this to Zuko, so you either want to kiss Zuko or you want Aang to kiss Zuko
Katara- why would I want Aang to kiss Zuko?
Dorkalicious- Crazy Krickets would want it, why not you. Who knows maybe you're a Zaang fan!
Everyone- EW
a couple of minutes passed by in silence
Dsauve- So you admit you wanted to kiss Zuko
Crazy Krickets- Can we follow up on the yaoi?
Katara-NO!
Dsauve- No to yaoi right? Not no to kissing Zuko
Katara- No to both!
Dsauve- Why don't you want to kiss Zuko? Zuko? Say something to her!
Zuko-...Um...Well I'd rather kiss Katara than Aang
Dsauve-HA! NEXT REASON!
Katara- You can't keep making up situations just so you can make up more reasons! Is there even anything on that scroll?!
Dsauve-...
Milk Maid-lemme see! (snatches scroll, reads aloud) I love zuko, I love zuko I love zuko (looks up) these aren't Zutara reasons!
Dsauve- Katara wrote that! yeah, reason number eight or nine or something!
Katara- I did not! Just carry on so we can get this over with
Dsauve- FINE! Reason number 8... let's see an actual reason...well you have a boy, and and you have a girl, and they both think they are straight...
Katara- What do you mean think!
Dsauve- Oh no, I didn't mean you Katara, but Zuko...you ARE emo, and you don't seem to like girls much...plus if you wanted to get together with-
Crazy Krickets- YES! I knew it! YAY Zuko and Sokka! That'd be sooo hot!
Dsauve- MORE STEAM!
Dsauve and Crazy Krickets jumped up and down in happy thoughts of hot Zuko-Sokka yaoi. Give me a moment...sigh
Zuko-For the love of God, or Buddah or whatever I believe in, get back on track!
Dsauve- But don't you want to be paired up with Sokka? He has his good points too!
Zuko- NO! Zutara reason number nine, NOW!
Dsauve-fine fine...ZuTARA reason number 9 (Dsuave pointed at zuko) ZUKO!
Zuko- What?
Dsauve-You acknowledge that Katara was a women!
Everyone- What?
Dorkalicious- Ha, breast!
Dsauve- I didn't say phsycially! God no! Katara's as flat as a pancake...yum, chocolate chip pancakes
Dorkalicious- You're retarded. And Katara's not flat, I can prove it
Dsauve- Fine perv-boy, she's not flat, but she's no D cup either
Dorkalicious-No she's a 34 B
Katara- How the hell do you know that!
Zuko- Who doesn't?
Everyone looks at Zuko
Zuko-What?
Crazy Krickets- Do you know MY cup size Zuko?
Dsauve-Shuddup Crazy, nobody cares about you, what about me Zuko?
Zuko- B, C and Milk Maid, you're ironicaly an A
MilkMaid- I'm ten!
Zuko (like Cosmo from fairly odd parents)- riiiiight
Katara-And you're trying to set me up with this perv
Dsauve-YES! B cup! You're one to talk, you've had how many boyfriends?
Katara- Sokka has more than me!
Dsauve- His are at least long lasting, and they all like HIM. He doesn't like THEM, for the most part. Katara you're the one with a crush on, like everyone. If you only liked one person then we wouldn't be having this conversation and you would have already slept with Zuko
Katara- WHAT!
Zuko- Score!
(A/N - what? It's not OOC, he's a 16 year old boy! But he's emo, right, gotta remember that...then again he's an optimistic emo, which is funny)
Dsauve- REASON 10, FINALLY, now I can end this chapter, reason #10 is, hold on I never even explained the whole women thing did I?
Milk maid- Oh my gawd! There is no stop to her ranting
Dsauve- No, there is not, anyways, in the season one finally you, Zuko, called Katara a big girl, which sounded retarded so I changed it to women which makes it sound like lust. NOW reason number 10 is that in that same episode Zuko never really fought back, only to defend himself and when the sun rose, but pretend you didn't hear that. Number ten is Zuko didn't fight back because he didn't want to hurt you Katara, couldn't you feel the love in that fight?
Zuko- stop putting words/thoughts in my mouth/mind.
Dsauve- NO! You two need to realize that you are totally in love with each other, and you are not leaving this house until I say you can! Because I, being the one with the biggest breast, rule all!
Crazy Krickets- Must you keep rubbing that pointless fact in my face?
Dsauve-YES! Now tie up Zuko Dorkalicious!
And he did
A /N- ok there it is, my first chapter to my first Avatar ff, stay tuned for the next chapter in which someone dies a horrible death, maybe. Anyways, i'm almost done chapter two so if you give me good reviews I'll post it within the week. thankies for reading!