Introduction: I Argue With Toby
I've heard that any story worth telling is worth telling twice, but I've also heard that too much of a good thing is still too much. That being, I was startled when Toby suggested a continuation of my life story.
"Isn't it enough that I reformed my ways and found a better life?" I asked.
"You should tell about how you adjusted," he explained. "The story of how you overcame your past is an inspiration to everyone!"
"But they already know!" I argued. "It's common knowledge that after Ratigan…disappeared, shall we say…I stopped eating mice and came to live with your humans! Everyone already knows that!"
"Your first year!" he prompted. "You still had a lot of challenges to overcome the first year you lived with us! You knew nothing about life with humans!"
"Toby, the residents of Mousedom are interested in hearing about the epic struggle between good and evil as demonstrated by Basil and Ratigan. No one cares about Felicia's first year with human owners and how she 'adjusted,' as you say."
"Everyone would love to hear it, Felicia!" Toby exclaimed. "Just think! You could describe your first meeting with Mrs. Hudson, all those rotten tricks you've played on me over the months, your first Christmas here..."
"No one likes sequels," I pointed out.
"Then why are series so popular?"
"It would never work! Everyone sees me as the evil Felicia Ratigan, the professor's executioner. They already know how I was trained from kitten to killer. They've already heard how I tried to kill the mouse queen before you chased me away. I leaped into the royal guard dogs' enclosure, escaped but nearly died of my injuries anyway, was found by your humans, and renounced my life of crime. End of story. No one cares about Felicia Hudson, partner of Detective Toby."
"How do you know if you don't try?" the dog argued.
"I've had enough of this! I will prove to you beyond a shadow of doubt that no one cares about my first year here! I'll tell the story, and as soon as I hear complaints about how awful and boring it was and how I should have stopped after my first story because this annoying sequel ruins it, you'll owe me any table scraps you get for a week!"
Toby's eyes widened. "Is that a wager, Felicia?"
I nodded.
"Very well!" he replied. "When someone compliments your story, you'll owe me all your table scraps for a week!"
"Not happening, but I agree to your terms." I smirked, thinking how these were going to be the easiest bits of extra food I'd ever gotten. "And stop talking about my story like it's something great. When it turns out to be pathetic, there are going to be a lot of disappointed mice."
"Sure. I'll stop talking about how wonderful it is if you'll stop making it sound terrible. We'll let anyone who hears it make up his or her own mind."
"And then you'll owe me all your scraps!" I exclaimed joyfully, licking my lips in anticipation.
"I sincerely doubt it," he responded.