Hello! I know, I know, it's been a while... I've been struggling with my writing lately, and this fic is the first idea I had in a looong while ._. I really like the result, but I'm also kinda afraid of what people might think of my views on this? Anyway, Zaveid is one of my favorite characters and I'm still trying to understand him after playing Berseria... I've been thinking about him a lot, and this kinda happened. Please let me know if there are any corrections to make, or if you have any suggestions! I hope you all enjoy reading it!

PS: I OWE A LOT TO ANGELLE_WINGS AND THIS FIC WOULDN'T EXIST WITHOUT HER! Just saying! ;A; YOU ARE WONDERFUL AND I WOULDN'T HAVE MADE IT THIS FAR WITHOUT YOU!

Also, Tales of Berseria spoilers and some mentions ahead!

"It's been a year, huh?"

I looked at the small grave at the top of the mountain. After living for as long as I had, I'd never thought such a small amount of time could carry the weight of an eternity like this. At least, not again after all these centuries… but, just like before, there were so many changes happening all around at once that sometimes I could feel the difference of a decade in a matter of days. Why was I bothering 'bout that, anyway? Thinking about any of that was pointless. I just hoped all the changes my decisions helped bring into this world had been worth it.

"So, were you saved, Eizen? Is this really it…?"

I still couldn't help but feel dubious. Heh, wasn't it a bit too late to be having second thoughts at this point, though?

"Well, I won't apologize," I tried to sound more cheerful. "Isn't that what you always said? If there was any other way, I'd probably have found some lead by now. I just didn't want to admit it, I guess… So I kept coming back here time and again, unable to fulfill my promise. If there's anything I should apologize for, it's for taking this long. But, hey, you surely still put up quite the fight, you know? You didn't make it any easier for us. That kinda delayed me for quite a while!"

I thought I'd finally buried all those thoughts after our battle was finally over, but the words resurfaced through my mouth before I even really thought about them. I was listening to my own voice before I could notice it, and I probably wouldn't have stopped talking if I the wind blowing against my face didn't tell me I wasn't alone with Eizen anymore. I could feel the warmth of the earth touching my skin with the winds playing with my hair.

I should have known she would come here today, too.

Before I turned around, I made sure there was a big grin on my face.

"So, great minds think alike, eh?" I shrugged. "Or did ya just miss me so bad you had to come after me?"

"Not in a thousand years," her voice felt as emotionless as ever. "I just… I wanted to see him."

As she talked, Edna opened her umbrella and placed it over her shoulder, covering her face. Would she start crying, already? Eizen always told me she could be such a crybaby, but the Edna I came to meet was anything but that. Or, at least, that's what she wanted us to believe.

The silence was driving me insane. I needed to say something.

"Ain't this a quiet, lovely evening?" I started, placing my hand on my hat. "It's the perfect atmosphere for a date, don't ya think?"

I felt her umbrella hitting my right arm before I could even move, and she quickly hid herself under its cover again.

"I always knew that you're a pervert, but I didn't think you'd dare to say this here."

I couldn't see her eyes, but the anger was clear in her voice. If she really was about to cry before, my distraction was working… for now.

"Sorry," I whispered. "Ya can't blame a guy for tryin'."

I expected to feel another hit, or to listen to any of her random insults, but she didn't move. Damn it. I wasn't really sure what I could say anymore, and my jokes were getting old by now. I could ask how she was feeling, but that would just be stupid. She was standing by her brother's grave, on the first anniversary of the day we killed him. Did I even need to ask how she was feeling right now?

Suddenly, before I could find my words again, she answered my unspoken question by her own will:

"I thought it would be worse," she mumbled. "Knowing he is gone, and knowing what we had to do… it should be harder, but… Now, he isn't hurting people anymore. He isn't a slave to his dragon instincts anymore, either. And even if there was any way… Even if we could bring him back to his original form…" She made a longer pause to take a deep breath. "What, then? Would he remember all the pain he caused as a dragon when he woke up? How would he feel when he found out…?"

So what? That's just it? Was it okay that he had to die? I knew Edna was just trying to face her own pain, and that was not what she was trying to say, but I couldn't deny the weight of those words because, in the world we lived in, they were true. I knew it, and I despised this truth more than anything else.

"Eh, some things just can't be helped, I guess," I tried to convince myself. "Eizen always said that he was only truly alive as long as he was the one steering the wheel of his ship. He wasn't able to do that anymore for a while now."

While I hoped she would believe that was my way of trying to show some encouragement, those words were a reminder to myself. That was the lesson that Eizen himself taught me a long time ago. And now, all these years later, he wasn't the only one who was saved here one year ago.

"I don't have to worry about that anymore, either," Edna agreed with my thoughts, as if she could read my mind. "If he's in pain, or if he's feeling scared… and I don't have to keep wondering if there's any trace of the big brother I knew left. I always knew there wasn't, but I… I still hoped I could see him again…"

It didn't take her long to come to the same conclusion her big brother imprinted on me, just as I expected. Edna was much more mature and stronger than he would ever give her credit for, that stubborn idiot. Travelling with the Shepherd, living her own adventure, and seeing the world with her own eyes… she soon understood what it all meant. This girl probably had to grow up and endure more that she had seen in her whole life in just a very short year. Did it feel this heavy to her, too? Was this her salvation?

Was it my salvation?

"Well, this life isn't always fair, kid. Things don't always go our way."

For a moment, I thought she didn't even hear me. And I waited for Edna to start rambling off again, but she simply made one of her typical comments.

"Huh?" she sighed. "Is that all you're going to say?"

"I guess," I shrugged again.

What else could I possibly say? "I'm sorry we live in a world that didn't give us any other choice?" None of this was fair, nothing in this was right, and I didn't believe it ever was. Even after all the time I've been travelling, the more I learned about this world… The more I came to hate it.

I hated the world that forced a sister to kill her own brother and made her become so hardened by life, and I loathed the world where so many children grew up orphaned, abandoned, or alone. I also despised the world that forced me to abandon everything I once believed in; if there was no other way, and death was the only salvation for them, someone had to taint their hands in order to save those who had fallen, and it might as well be me. I had nothing left to lose anymore.

But what I hated the most was the world that took the woman who had the most beautiful heart I ever saw, and warped her enough to make her do what she abominated the most: hurt a child. Theodora loved being alive in a way I could never understand, because even then, I didn't think there could be anyone who hated being alive in this unfair would world as much as I did. She taught me how to see beauty in things I was completely unable to notice before, and, in the end, even that wasn't enough to save her.

So, was this my salvation?

"I don't like this," Edna started out of the blue, and her voice brought me back from my memories.

"Don't ya like what?" I tried to sound casual, though I knew it wouldn't fool her.

"When you act like this. Gloomy. You're not gloomy. You're acting weird. Weirdo. Zav-weirdo."

When I heard that, I couldn't help but laugh. I looked up at the sky and allowed myself to laugh aloud, even if it wasn't really that funny. Still… it felt light. Being around these guys was much lighter than I felt in centuries, and sometimes I couldn't help it. Moments like these helped me remember why I was still fighting after all this time. Sometimes, they could even make me feel like there was still some faith left buried somewhere under all these muscles and the my silly jokes.

"I guess today is making me all sentimental!" I raised my voice and giggled, trying to cover up. "Don't you want to get to know my emotional side? I might need a beautiful girl to cheer me up, you know!"

"Bah!" She turned around and hid under her umbrella again. "Why do I even bother with you?"

I was glad that she couldn't see me, either, because I wasn't sure if I could keep that goofy smile for too long.

"Well, things are as they are. You can either complain and feel bad about it, or you can try to do something yourself. That's all there is to it."

If no one hated this world as much as I did, then there was no one else more fit to turn this it into somewhere worth living in as well. I tried to do something for both Eizen, and for Theodora… and it wasn't enough. So, if I didn't want this to keep happening, I'd have to keep fighting until we were free from this curse, and until we lived in a world where everyone could be at peace. They were both gone, but I was still there. So was Edna, Lailah, Mikleo, and so many other Seraphim…

"Zav-weirdo," she repeated. "You make it sound so simple. Actually, you're acting scary today."

"Then maybe we should head back," I suggested. There wouldn't be any good in staying there for too long.

"Yeah, we probably should."

As she spoke, Edna took one last glance over her shoulder. And, watching her watch over her big brother, I knew that I had to make sure none of us would ever have to feel that pain again.